Chapter Thirteen.

Ayla

I yawned as I stretched my body before getting out of bed. I had my first two lessons in the morning and came home to nap. Although the nap was everything and more I regretted sleeping for three hours knowing how drowsy I'll be in my upcoming class. I just wanted to stay in bed and sleep all day. I put some eye drops in to refresh my eyes and spray my face with some glowy mist Bri recommended, I will not lie, it looks like I haven't even slept and my makeup is fresh.

My last lesson was business and obviously I was dreading it, but today I'm planning to ask Miss Morgan if I can change partners. Hopefully she'll let me get with James or some other person, I didn't mind pairing up with anyone. Anyone but Him. I made myself a promise and I really want to stick to it. Ryder was like a drug, the most addictive kind, the one you know you shouldn't take but the few good moments make all the pain worthwhile. Taking a deep breath I sit at my vanity table and brush my hair. Touching up on my makeup I change from my shorts and tee to a knit dress. I quickly go downstairs and fix a plate of some food mum made, I was hungry and didn't want to leave the house on an empty stomach. I put on The Office and find comfort in seeing my fav characters. It wasn't until James texted me that I realised I was going to be late if I didn't leave right this second. I rush to wash my dirty dishes and run to my car almost forgetting my bag in the process.

I did not feel comfortable driving to school but had no other choice since there were major delays on all transport today. The drive wasn't too bad and I was proud of myself for making it in one piece, parking the car I walk to my class and just about make it as everyone was walking in. I go unto the front wanting to speak with Miss Morgan.

"Sorry Miss, can we speak?"

"Yes Ayla."

"I was wondering if I could change partners for the project?" I ask politely. She furrows her brows. In my mind I pleaded for her to change me, I needed to get away from this guy.

"Is there any particular reason dear?" She asks and I sigh, if only she knew. I cant exactly tell my teacher I've been having an intimate toxic affair with the boy who bullied me for the past six years.

"We don't work well..." I try to find another reason to convince her but I'm startled as an arm drapes around my shoulder.

"She's just joking Miss come on Ayla lets go work." I hear and tense, of course it's him.

"Ayla, come on now, you don't want to waste any time with this project." Miss laughs and dismisses us. I shove him and get out of his hold. Going to my seat I sit down and start working, I could do this project by myself. Yes it meant double the work but I was willing to, anything to spend less time with him.

Ryder sits down next to me halting my breath and making me roll my eyes. I wont speak to him, it may be a little immature but trust me the shit I've dealt with gives me the right to act like this. I could feel his stare all over, his eyes cascading its way down my body, I would be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated, because I very much am. I wont show him that though. Nevertheless I continued with my work. As the lesson passed by he tried everything, pulling my hair, poking my leg and even stealing my pen, jokes on him because I just bought a fresh pack.

"Talk to me." I hear, mentally scoffing I don't reply. This is the same guy who told me to get with James. He needs to make his mind up because it's driving me mad. The silent treatment works, well until he places his hand on my thigh. I gulp and curse myself because I liked his hand there. I think I need therapy, because why am I allowing this. I don't move or react because I know it'll annoy him but then he one ups me. He moves his hand higher making me squirm in my seat. 'So much for not reacting.' I thought to myself. I look up at him, my nose flared and eyes fixated on his. Motherf- wait, let me not go there.

He smirks and inches his hand higher, and just before he could go any further the bell rings. I hurry out of class and get to my car as quickly as I can. Once I'm sat in my seat I let out a deep breath. I deserve McDonalds. So there I went, the drive thru was a little busy but I didn't mind as I had nowhere to be. I wont let him bother me, right now I'm in a calm mood eating my nuggets and driving home. Entering my house I see my mum and dad talking in the kitchen.

"Mija why are their crumbs all over your face?" I blush from embarrassment, jeez I didn't realise I had pigged out amidst my binge. "Oh just grabbed a snack on the way home." I wipe my face with a tissue and drink some water.

"Well sit down." Mum says, I take a seat next to her a little confused as to what was going on.

"So you know how I've got pregnancy brain? Yep well we got an invite like a week back to go to Costello Airlines' anniversary party and I forgot to tell you guys. So I apologise. Ooh but I did see that they're launching a new plane which is quite nice." I press my eyes shut and question my existence for a few seconds. Why can I not get away from this idiot?

"That's nice." I say, but really and truly it isn't.

"The party starts at seven and its at their house. They have huge ballroom! Dress code is black tie so lets hope I fit into one of my old dresses." Mum says excitedly, I smile and leave to go upstairs. I wash my face and put on a face mask. I need to be as Zen as possible. Changing into a vest and shorts I sat at my desk finishing an essay, four thousand words to be exact. Horrible I know, but this is my last year and if I want to get into a top university I gots to put the work in.

I finished my essay just after two hours, I knew I had to start getting ready so I screamed into my pillows and whined. Dragging my feet to my closet I pick out a white dress, it was fancy yet just simple enough. Laying out my dress on the bed I hop into the shower and let the water wash away my anxiety. Except it didn't, I was still anxious. After my shower I dried my hair and started to do my makeup. I kept it light but added some shimmer here and there and then curled my hair. Satisfied with my look I wear the dress and look at myself in my floor length mirror. The dress hugged my body perfectly, I was with Bri when I bought this and she was right about the fact that it hugged my hips and bum. I picked out and wore an overcoat to conceal my future food baby and then slid on some nude strappy heels. I settled on my Vivienne Westwood pearl necklace and some pearl drop earrings. Wearing my gold bracelets and an opal ring dad gifted me I chaotically spray Baccarat Rouge and run downstairs. Yes I almost tripped in the process but I looked cute so its fine.

Mum stood in the hallway looking at herself in the mirror. She looked drop dead gorgeous, her dress was a beautiful shade of tan that reached the floor. Her shoes were navy Manolo's, I was in awe. Dad exits the bathroom revealing his look for the night, Navy suit with a brown dress shoe that complimented mums dress. They were matching and it was beyond adorable.

"Alaia te ves tan hermosa mi reina." My dad says and gives her a kiss, she blushes and leans into him. "Y te ves sexy mi rey." I was taken aback and coughed to remind them their child was here. They chuckle, dad turns to me and holds his chest. "Ayla, princess you look so beautiful just like your mother. My two girls are absolutely beautiful." Giggling again I held his arm and said "Thank you dad, you don't look too bad yourself." He brushed his hair pretending to be prestige to which me and mum laughed. Closing the windows and locking the back door we leave the house and enter the car on our way to the devils house.

I go through socials and then read a book as the drive was a little longer considering it was rush hour. I was almost done when the car stopped, looking out of the window I see that we were here. I breathed deeply and got out. At the entrance of the house I couldnt help but think of the times I had rushed here and how I kissed Him. Part of me felt guitly knowing my parents were unaware of the events that had taken place here. Security took our invitation card and let us into the house where a another guy guided us to the ballroom. When we entered loud piano music played and murmurs of conversation flowed across the room. This ballroom was huge, I didn't even know they had one, to be fair it was tucked away at the far south of the house so I wouldn't have come across it at all. As I skimmed my eyes around the room I calculated that there were easily five hundred people here. Me and my parents take our seats and get served some drinks. I settled for some water, my throat dry as the Sahara knowing he was here. I hadn't seen him but I was sure he'd be making an appearance soon.

Two glasses full of water late and my bladder was about to burst so I got up and looked for the toilet. Leaving the ballroom I walked around hoping to find the toilet quickly. This place was a maze and I was sure I was lost after walking for ten minutes. I stop in my tracks hearing mumbled speech, walking towards the sound the words become clearer but I cant seem to find where they were.

"Listen you little shit, don't do anything stupid, be fucking good for once. And you, smile so we can convive these people that we actually care about each other." I froze as I heard a deep voice maliciously say. It was coming from a room, the voice was familiar as if I had heard it before, from the news or something. I find myself worrying as I didn't want to get caught so I leave the area on my quest to find a damn restroom.

I bump into a woman and apologise. "Not a problem miss, are you looking for something?" She says and I nod. "Yes please, where is the restroom?" She directs me to the room and finally I relieve myself. Fixing my dress and washing my hands I look into the ornate mirror with intricate designs and analyse myself. I was happy with the way I looked tonight, so I touched up my lipstick and left to return to the ballroom. This time I knew where I was going.

I sit back down in my chair thankfully making it back in time for Mr. Costello to start his speech. I didn't want to be that person who disrupts, that would be mortifying. As he begins speaking my mind travels back to the unknown conversation I heard earlier. It could not be Ryder's dad, no way. Giovanni's speech was amazing and inspiring, truly lovely to hear and once he had finished there was a mass of applause. A few more people speak and I come to the conclusion that it must be one of them, Giovanni was not at all rude and I'm sure he was not that disrespectful.

Once the speeches ended we waited for the five course meal that was to be served. The entertainment was insane, live dances, music, it was a great evening so far. I got up to go to the bar, wanting cool ice water. "Hey there, have you ordered?" I looked up to see a guy behind the bar.

"Uh no, could I just have some water with ice, please." I say politely.

He nods and smiles at me. "Of course, You look beautiful by the way." He says making me blush and entangle my hands in nervousness. "Thank you um-"

"Speak to her again and I'll fire you." I hear a husky voice say, knitting my brows I shift my head to see Ryder. He grabs me by the waist and takes me with him. Before leaving the bar he picks up a bottle of whiskey and champagne. Once we're out of the room I fight his hold.

"Ryder let me go." I shout and he ignores me continuing to drag me away. It doesn't take us long to be stood in his room, away from prying eyes. "Ryder!" I push him but its no use.

"Sit down." He says and I roll my eyes walking to the door. He stops me, blocking the door with his arms. I sneer at him and before I could reply my phone rings. Shit, mum was calling, I can only hope she didn't see Ryder pulling me away.

"Ayla where are you?" She asks and I avert my gaze to Ryder and back to the floor.

'Trapped with an idiot.' was what I wanted to say but I couldn't, so I lied.

"Sorry mum I bumped into Ryder and he wanted to show me something for the project. Ill be down soon." I say, she replies with an okay and I hang up.

"Sit down." He demands again and I sigh knowing I had no way out. He passes me the bottle of champagne and I raise my brow. "What do you expect me to pour it in? My hands?" I didn't even drink, but right now... I could use some alcohol. Ryder takes the bottle from me and towers me. Grasping my chin he lifts my head up looking deeply into my eyes before popping the cork and pouring the liquid into my mouth. I gulp and take all of the drink in, the way Ryder was staring made me feel all flustered. Not wanting to be apart of this anymore I turn my head a little to the side. Ryder smirks and then brings the bottle to his lips, taking a big sip.

"Ryder, I don't have time for this, what do you want?" I say clearly irritated, I just wanted to get away from him, I didn't trust myself with him.

"I suggest you start speaking to me a little nicer." I look up at him and fight the great urge of rolling my eyes. If I rolled them once more I was afraid they would catapult out of their sockets.

'Be patient Ayla.' I thought, with Ryder all you had to be was patient, because if you weren't you'd end up murdering him,

"Don't tell me what to do." I said and got up and walked to the door. "But then there's no fun, when I tell you what to do you roll your eyes, pretend to hate me, its all very amusing." He walks towards me, caging me into the wall. We're so close that I could feel my body heat combining with his, his breath smelt like whiskey and mint, so mature, so enticing. I shift my gaze back and forth between his eyes and lips, such a dangerous face, made the game of hate too hard to play. "See the thing is Ayla, there's a fine line between love and hate, you don't know which one to choose. But I'd love to make things harder for you, it's amusing seeing you fight your instincts. You want me, you just don't want to believe you want a monster like me." His voice was laced with lust, my arousal heightened, my breath hitching. He dips his head, our lips at this point touching, he didn't kiss me, he didn't move his lips. He was teasing me, and it was working. His free hand traces my arms and I shudder at his touch, he rests his hands on my lower stomach pressing gently and making me lean into him. I feel him, his size, his arousal. "You want this?" he asks, and I don't know what he was referring to but my answer was clear.

"Yes." I whispered out my voice hoarse, full of need.

With that his mouth moves against mine, my chest heaves up and down in approval. I hated him, he knew what he was doing, he knew he was making it harder for me to leave this entanglement. Yet I moan in appreciation as he takes a handful of my behind. My nipples perk up, threatening to cut through my dress, I loathed him, I loathed him for making my body react this way.

"You look so fucking beautiful. So fucking stunning and all mine." He says in between our kisses, I'm beyond turned in at his words, "all mine." He repeats and I whimper as he presses my nether region with his leg. He leaves my face and trails kisses down my neck, at this point I'm a mess. I had fallen too far, I knew I had to stop, before I regretted it. Shoving him off I stare at him with absolute abhorrence. He smirks and looks at me up and down.

"Now you can speak to whoever you want but Ayla the truth is, no one will ever make you feel the way I do. Your body responds to me, my kisses, my touch."

"You need to stop." My breaths are unstable and I feel like I'm floating. I despised him, because he was right.

"Exactly why should I? You know you love the way I make you feel." His voice is low, full of authority.

"None of that matters, you may make me feel a certain way but Ryder every time you kiss me I end up hating myself, I end up hating you, you're never going to give me more than intimacy. I know you cant love me the way I want to be loved and no matter how much I love you I'll never be anything more than a pawn in your sadistic game." By the end of my sentence tears barricade my waterline. The air felt heavy, the atmosphere had changed, my confession had changed what was a steamy encounter into ice.

I leave the room, this time Ryder doesn't stop me, and I'm grateful because if I spent even a second more with him, I would break down.

I find a empty restroom and gather myself. Re-entering the ballroom I sit with my parents. I was silent, my energy was all used up. I barely ate anything, I was too afraid of throwing up, nausea poked at me and my head was aching. The time had come to leave and we stopped by at Leia and Giovanni's table to thank them for inviting us. As we leave the table I glance at him, his face masked with an emotion I couldn't decipher.

I shook my head hoping to get rid of the thoughts that were making me feel guilty. 'I shouldn't feel guilty, right?' He toys with me, bullies me, makes me feel like absolute shit, so why should I feel guilty? We get home soon after and I immediately head upstairs without a word. I'll tell my parents tomorrow that I had a headache or something, I just couldn't talk right now.

I take everything off and head into the shower, I wanted to wash away the sins of tonight, I wanted to scrub my skin raw. Finishing my night routine I slip into bed succumbing to sleep quickly, ridding myself of my thoughts.

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hiiii, hope you all enjoyed! pls let me know what you guys think?

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stay safe, eat and drink lots of water.

lots of love,amara<3