|9| i like yours more

Your eyes

stole All my words

Away.

~d.j

____________

The next morning I'm woken up to a raging headache, hazy memories come back of never-ending tears and heartbreaking memories, I'm put in a numb state as I get up to shower and get dressed in some black business pants along with a red blouse,

I was gravely mistaken when I thought I would look better today, I thought after a night of sleep I would look normal, but the bags under my eyes and the redness showcasing how much I cried last night makes me frown,

I feel a prick of annoyance as I take in my appearance, I put concealer on and end up throwing it across the room, it seems that makeup isn't on my side this morning and just accentuates the fact I cried a river,

"Gosh dang it" I whisper to myself realizing I have to get to work and have to accept the fact I won't look my best

I throw my brown waist-length hair in a ponytail, put some red lip tint on and head out the door,

As I'm walking to the cafe after my taxi ride memories flash from last night of me walking to get roses for my parents, then buying some water, food, and a hat for Henry on the way back, but I didn't get to give it to him last night so I brought it with me today.

I see him huddled up in a blanket as I walk closer to him

"Good morning henry" I smile standing right in front of him

The way his whole face lights up and his eyes squint from the way he's smiling makes my smile wider,

This man has been through God knows what and yet he still holds a smile on his face, it makes my heart hurt and ache thinking about him out in the cold all night probably wishing for the warmth and comfort of a bed and roof over his head, It's times like these that I wish I was a billionaire so I could get him an apartment, and help him start a better life.

"Good morning Vanessa, how are you" he grins looking over my face, but it slightly drops a moment later

"You look like you've been crying" he frowns with a concerned look in his eyes

"It's all good, I did but I'm okay I promise, here I got this for you" I smile giving him the bag, shrugging off his comment

"Thank you," he says looking in the bag

"You can tell me if you want" he smiles slightly

"No problem, I have to get to work but I promise it's ok and I'm ok" I try my hardest to seem very happy

"I can tell you look broken in a way, it reminds me of the expression I make when I think of my daughter" he smiles but it's sad and small

"You have a daughter?" I whisper realizing at this moment that I don't know much about this man's situation

"Had" he nods as a tear cascades down his cheek

My heart cracks at the thought of something happening to her

"What happened? If you don't mind me asking" I ask trying to keep my tears in

"She got in a car wreck, a drunk driver took her out" he sighs pulling the hat I got him out of the bag and putting it on

"You remind me a lot of her" he laughs with pain lacing it

My heart continues to break with each word he utters

"I'm incredibly sorry for your loss," I say tears rolling down my cheeks even with me trying to keep them in, it's impossible for me to stay strong as I think about what he had to go through with losing his child

"So was I right about why you're sad and crying?" he smiles sadly

I nod slightly "yeah, it was the anniversary of my dad's death yesterday" I whisper

"I'm sorry sweetheart" he sighs with a painful expression taking over his face

I realize that I don't want to make him upset and need to leave now before I say something more upsetting

"Well I have to go to work before my boss has my ass but how about I take you for sandwiches after work and we can talk later" I smile

"Have a good day at work, and that would be lovely but I don't want to be a burden to you, it's ok" he smiles with a shake of his head

"Nonsense I love talking to you, I'll be back here after work" I smile and start walking away before he can argue

"Goodbye Henry" I grin

"Goodbye Vanessa" he grins back

_________

After getting the coffee for Aaron and me, I head to the office

I also ended up getting a coffee for Henry which he thanked and hugged me for

I knock on Aaron's door twice and hear the usual 'come in'

I take a deep breath as I plaster on a fake smile, I hope that it seems genuine enough even though it's far from the truth, I'm not happy but I don't want to feel like a burden to anyone and make them sad with my past when I can simple smile and make them happy instead

But as much as I want to be strong it still pains me all these years later

"Good morning Mr. Huxley" I smile walking over to his desk and setting the coffee down

"Is there anything you need me to get done right now ?" I ask watching him put some paperwork aside before looking up at me

His eyes lock on my face, it makes me feel as though I'm under a microscope being judged, his face contorts into a weird look of brows knit and his mouth in a slight frown

"Why were you crying?" He says slowly accentuating every word

I sigh, and look at the wall behind him,

Why can everyone tell I had been crying, even the barista at the coffee shop gave me a pitying look,

I'm sure people in the office noticed at this point it's just no one cares about me until they need something

I'm starting to feel stupid for the smile I put on my face since it doesn't cover the evidence of my puffy face and red eyes

"It's nothing don't worry about it" I smile shaking my head

He hums in response, sucking on his teeth as he continues to watch me

"You're lying, you know how I feel about that" he sighs leaning back into his chair

"I-" I begin to talk but suddenly feel like something is choking me preventing me from speaking any further, I don't like lying and I hate that Mr. Huxley can tell so well when I am,

I clear my throat and take a deep breath

"Is there anything urgent I need to get done right now Mr. Huxley?" I say

He suddenly stands up and I feel myself taking a step back from the action,

He walks around his desk, grabs my chin tilting it up to level with his eyes, he looks at my face but doesn't say anything,

My eyes look anywhere but his, it's embarrassing to be in a position with your boss where you seem and feel weak, and pathetic and it's exactly how I feel, it looks like he can see right through my fake smiles and warm hugs,

"Don't anger me, Vanessa, where did little miss sunshine go this morning?" His voice is level and calm but I can feel by his grip on my chin and the proximity of his body that he's anything but

"Well the sun's currently covered with clouds, so the sun gets a break from shining for a little" I mumble thinking he can't hear me

"What's wrong?" he asks voice thick with an emotion I can't figure out ask I stare at a blank wall

"You don't need to worry I'll be back to my regular annoying smily self in no time" I plater a fake small smile

"You're not annoying when you're happy Vanessa" he frowns in an almost offended manor

"I'll see you later Mr. Huxley" I clear my throat and walk quickly out of his office before he can say anything else

But I can feel him hot on my heels as I walk away towards my office, when I get inside thinking I'm in the clear a foot stops the door from closing,

A very unhappy Mr. Huxley stands in front of me, he walks inside closing the door behind him

"I wasn't done speaking to you Vanessa" he speaks slowly

I knit my brows as I walk towards my window, a uncomfortable silence falls between us, I can feel his body heat behind mine but I don't dare turn around,

"Did you know that Henry had a daughter?" I whisper voice cracking

"No I didn't," he says sounding confused

"She died," I say in a whisper

"He lost his daughter that reminded him of me" I sigh shaking my head slightly debating if I should tell him why I'm fully upset

"Is that why you were crying?" His question makes me take a deep breath in, there's no point with a man like him to lie, he somehow always sees straight through me,

"Partly..." I mutter quietly

"I may be your boss...but you can still talk to me," he says voice lacing with seriousness yet a calming note to it as well

"I thought you hate it when people ramble to you about their problems" I laugh slightly

"Well you're not just any person now are you?" He says without hesitation as if he's practiced those words over and over until it was perfect

"Yesterday was the day my dad died it's been so many years but it still hurts" I whisper looking out of the window too scared to see his reaction, the thought of him looking at me in an irritated manner for being upset right now scares me,

Suddenly Mr. Huxley's In front of me but I keep my gaze behind him not wanting to look him in the eye

"Look at me Vanessa" he sighs in impatience

He wipes the tears that flow down my cheeks that I wasn't aware were there, my frown grows along with frustration

I don't say anything just continue to look out the window, he cups my cheeks with both hands to make me look directly at his face, his hands are warm and big and completely swallow my face up whole making me feel calm in a sense

I focus on his chin because I can't get myself to look him in the eyes

"Look me in the eyes, not my chin Vanessa," he says lowly

"I can't" I whisper closing my eyes and completely giving up pretending at the moment

His hands are so warm and safe that I melt under them, all I can focus on is how much I want to lean into his touch and how badly it scares me

"Why not?" His question makes me think for a moment

"If I look you in the eye then it makes it more solidified that I cried in front of someone instead of making them happy...what good does it do for me to spill my feelings out when I can smile and make everyone happy instead, I need to be happy...not sad" I whisper taking deep breathes in between hoping my voice doesn't tremble too much

"You don't need to be anything Vanessa" He runs his thumb over my cheek in a calming way as he speaks

"I'm the one person you don't need to worry about putting on a front with, I won't judge you, Come on look at me" he whispers

"This is unprofessional" I whisper and pout as I try getting out of his grasp

He laughs a little "well usually with anyone else I would say it's unprofessional to be crying at work but I make an exception to you" amusement laces his voice

I drop my head on his chest with a groan, he moves his hands to the back of my head after a moment

"Well whatever I don't need you to be a smart ass right now" I mumble with a bit of annoyance laced in my words

"Now I'm going to close my eyes and pretend you're not here so I can pretend to be upset alone" I mumble

I feel the vibration of his laugh on his chest and I find that it somehow calms me, the man who doesn't show emotions, doesn't laugh or smile is laughing in front of me freely

"You go do that but I'm not leaving right now" he sternly states

He keeps quiet for a few moments while I take deep breathes

"I'm sorry about your dad" he sighs pulling me into a hug

It doesn't register to me until I wrap my arms around his waist while he's holding me close, that Aaron Huxley, Mr. grump the rude boss is hugging me...comforting me...His assistant while she's having a meltdown at work

"Take the day off," he says running his fingers through my hair

I immediately tense up, I didn't even take a day off when I had a cold, I felt too guilty skipping work because then Aaron would have to deal with the things I should be dealing with, and my work would automatically become his and I don't want to put that on him when he already has so much to do, So instead I always push through everything

"No I'll be fine" I shake my head whispering

"Vanessa," he says lowly his voice is a warning that I choose to ignore

I sigh "I really will be, I promise I spent the whole day yesterday crying, I'm okay to work" I whisper

After a moment I realize it was the wrong this to say after I hear a grunt

"So no one was with you while you were upset?" He asks slowly

"I have no one" I mumble then shut my eyes realizing I keep saying the wrong things

He's so quiet that I can hear him taking deep breaths, he doesn't say anything just holds me tight as I take in his warmth,

He cups my face to try and get me to look at him once again

"Just look at me Vanessa" he whispers so quietly that I almost don't hear it

"And don't tell me you have to be happy again because you're human and you're not going to be happy every damn day...but the thing about the sun is in rain or shine it still shines, on a cloudy day it still shines it's just hidden, I know who you are and one bad day won't change that," he says

He wipes the remainder of my tears while brushing his thumb over my cheek

"Come on now look at me" he sighs

I slowly look him in the eyes and start tearing up when I see him smiling as he watches me finally look at him, it's not a full smile, it's a small one, just enough for me to forget why I was sad just for a moment

"You're smiling" I whisper as a smile forms on my face

"You're having a bad day and all you can focus on is that I smiled?" He frowns a little and smiles more

My heart sores and I forget about the pain for a moment, I forget about the memories and the guilt of showing emotions

"You actually smiled, I've never seen you smile" I whisper feeling my emotions turn from sad to happy in just mere moments

He just smiled, the man I've worked for, for the past 2 years with no happy emotions just smiled...at me

"Only for you," he says as he pulls me closer

He rests his chin on the top of my head

"Are you sure you're going to be ok?" He asks slowly

"I promise, plus I'm going to lunch with Henry after work so I need to go and do that so I can take him" I smile

I focus on the vibration of his chest as he laughs because it somehow calms me

"Only you would take a homeless man out to lunch" he chuckles stroking my hair

"I feel bad for him, I can tell he's a good person and it's heartbreaking that he's on the streets," I say voice cracking

He cups my cheeks "hey it's ok, don't cry again"

"I'm fine I promise...I just feel bad for him" I whisper taking deep breaths

"I can get him a job if you want," he says gently touching my cheek, his voice calm, but his face holds an emotion I can't place

"You would do that?" I whisper my voice barely there

"Yeah but don't think I'll be doing anyone else favors, I'm only doing it cuz it's you" he smiles again

I'm not sure why it matters that it's me, but my brain won't function as he smiles

"You have a nice smile, you should do it more" I whisper smiling sadly as my heart sores In my chest at the absolute work of art that is hit smile

I genuinely believed this man couldn't get any more good looking than he already was, but then he goes out and smile at me making my heart stutter and brain get all fuzzy, boy was I wrong because his beauty doesn't even compare to anything or anyone as he smiles, butterflies overtake my body and I get angry at my body for reacting to such a normal thing on a very not normal man.

"I like yours more" he shakes his head

-----notes-----

Hey y'all so I was at my little cousin's party today so like I had to write this in #chaos and people everywhere so I'm sorry if it's not the best

I don't feel so good and my anxiety getting to me and making me get overwhelmed so I hope I'll be able to get something a little better out for you guys on Tuesday ♡

This is badly written but I needed to get something out today (hopefully I'll be able to check the spelling and shit later, if you see any major mistakes please point them out so I don't get a headache when I check it over later on)♡

Vote and comment ♡︎

Word count: 3113