|14| with love, dad

The heart has its reasons,

Which reasons knows nothing of.

~Blaise Pascal

________________

The following day I decided to pick up my dad's journal and reread one of the dating entries

𝚃𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚞𝚙

𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚜, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚐𝚞𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍, 𝚒 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝚒𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚞𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚏 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎, 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚊 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚊 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚗, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚕𝚕, 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚊𝚍, 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜. 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢'𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚏, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚎𝚡𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍, 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚌𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚞𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑, 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚞𝚗𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚏 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎𝚝𝚢, 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚢 𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚋𝚘𝚠𝚜, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚞𝚙, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚒𝚡𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚜 𝚊 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚗, 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚞𝚙, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚊 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝.

𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍, 𝙳𝚊𝚍 ♡︎

My father's words never fail to make me teary-eyed or full-on cry, whenever I started dating someone I would read this entry and see if the qualities that my father talks about are in the man I'm seeing, and so far they always have a toxic or manipulative quality to them instead of the ones my father talked about, they don't make me feel alive, they don't make me smile the way I know my parents would want me too,

I can't say yet if Aaron fully exceeds this list yet, but he's made me smile and laugh more than I have with any other guys and we've only been on one date, so that's saying something,

Two of the guys I dated in high school were okay but I've never truly felt overjoyed when seeing them smile nor did I crave their presence...not like with Aaron

I'm beginning to realize non of my exes compare to Aaron, maybe it's because he's not a high schooler and he doesn't have time for bullshit, but either way I'm glad he's not like them,

I had a pretty big crush on Aaron and felt many butterflies over the two years I've worked for him, with an accidental touch or brush of hands, it all made my body feel things when I knew I shouldn't have, but now I'm able to allow those feelings out, I'm able to touch and kiss him if I want, and I'll admit its a little strange,

Any guys I've ever dated have never made me feel that way, one of them that I was with for a year made me smile and laugh but there wasn't any longing or butterflies like I thought there would be...even after a year,

And then when I dated a guy for two years I felt a butterfly or two with him, but in the end, I ended up falling out of love,

All I wanted was the way my parents loved each other,

I wanted the kind of love my parents had...the true unmasked love where you see your partner at their worst and you still love them, where you stand by them and have unconditional hope and believe in them always, where you compromise and communicate so you understand each other and are both happy.

My one-year relationship ended because he didn't like the fact I wouldn't move to a different country with him for his med school even though I had different dreams in different places...he wasn't willing to compromise and I refused to drop everything I knew and loved for a man who wouldn't do what he was asking me...

I had my dreams to live in New York and college here and I didn't want to be pressured into changing that dream for a man I wasn't even willing to consider marrying.

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: MENTION OF RAPE⚠️ (the warning emoji will be at the end when TW is over).

And the reason the two-year relationship didn't work out was that he started forcing sex on me...he would rape and torture my body, he made my body weak, he ruined and hurt it, the fear I felt in that relationship was unlike anything I thought I would have to go through...I had no one, he was all I had and he took advantage of that, and when the rape started I didn't have anywhere to run to because I was alone, I would constantly drive to the cemetery and cry to my parents about how scared I was to leave, he would get so mad at me if I wasn't in the mood for sex, so he would take it upon himself to 'get me in the mood' as he would put it,

I spent so many nights crying and screaming for him to stop as he pushed and pushed me past my limit, and if I would cry too hard he'd put a pillow over my face to shut me up...he'd tell me "come on sweet cheeks be a good little doll for me and enjoy what I'm giving you"

I couldn't because he was hurting me, he made me afraid of sex, I haven't been in a relationship years later because David scarred me, he made me think it was wrong to say no...but now I'm with Aaron, and even though my heart knows he wouldn't force me to do something I don't want...my body is still scared and I'm sure it will be a while until I'm able to have sex with him, I just hope he's okay with that.

I have to really trust him until we do anything because the minute I close my eyes my mind goes back to the triggering memories and I can't even bear that thought, so I hope Aaron respects my decision to wait.

⚠️ MENTION OF RAPE OVER ⚠️

____________

Getting up I walk to the kitchen and see my notebook filled with ideas for the rooftop project

Suddenly excitement bursts through my veins when I think about getting to work tomorrow and seeing henry so we can start talking about more ideas and layout plans for it.

Aarons's face fills my mind and I internally grin thinking about his concentrated frown on his computer when I bring him his morning coffee,

Do I still call him Mr. Huxley? Or Aaron? I'm honestly not sure I guess I'll have to just ask tomorrow

Feeling bored and hungry I make my way to the kitchen, I frown realizing I need to go grocery shopping, as I'm writing a list I hear my phone buzz from beside me

My moon: are you doing anything right now?

I immediately grin at his text,

Crap why am I smiling all he did was text me a question...

'not really I'm just trying to figure out what I want for lunch'

My moon: want to accompany me for lunch?

My heart swells, he wants to see me again? He so cute

'you're acting as if I'll ever say no to food'

My moon: fair point ill pick you up in 20, is that enough time?

'perfect, see you then'

I grin down at my phone and immediately go take a quick shower and put on a simple outfit of blue ripped jeans, a random band tee that belonged to my dad, I throw my hair in a messy bun and put on some sneakers along with an oversized jacket

A couple of minutes after I finish I hear a knock at my door

I unlocked the door and smile looking at Aaron in black paints and a white t-shirt with a black jacket on

"Hi you look nice" I smile up at him

"You look nicer," he says kissing my forehead

"You ready to go?" He asks

"Yes just let me grab my purse"

Before I can go he grabs my arm

"But leave the wallet" he tells me sternly

I sigh "but-"

He puts his pointer finger against my lips to shush me

"But nothing leave it here, got it?" He raises a brow in challenge

I sigh "fine but I'm still putting in 20 dollars in there in case I see someone homeless who needs it, you're not making me put that away," I say

"Deal" he smirks in victory

I quickly grab my purse take the wallet out and put $20 in small bills in my purse

I quietly try slipping in more cash and my card thinking Aaron isn't near me, but I get my card and the rest of the money snatched out of my grasp

"Hey!" I exclaim turning around to see a not so happy expression on Aaron's face

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He raises a brow daring me to lie

I open my mouth but no words come out, I cross my arms over my chest

"What if you lose your wallet..." I explain

"I won't," he says not impressed with my excuse

"You don't know that...we're in New York there's plenty of pickpockets here" I huff

"I have two cards on me...one in my wallet the other hidden in my jacket that no pickpocket would find, and secondly you're not making an excuse to pay yourself" he raises my card and cash higher so I can't reach it

"I changed my mind you are an ass" I frown in annoyance

He hums looking more amused than I would like

His stare on me is hot and doesn't waver, I shift in place "stop looking at me like that" I mutter clearing my throat

He comes closer until our chests are touching and his mouth near my own "I'm not doing anything" he smirks

"You know exactly what you're doing and how you're looking at me," I say breathlessly

"Did I tell you how good you look with your hair up?" He whispers

I swallow and take a shaky breath in "no" I whisper

"Well you look very hot...like a sexy little secretary" he whispers letting his fingers gently graze the hair by my face

I'm in a daze of how hot his breath is against my mouth that I can't think much less speak, I barely register that he's grabbed my purse and pulled me out of the apartment, grabbed my keys, and locked my place before walked us to his car

After clearing my throat and coming back down to planet earth my jaw hits the floor at the realization

"You asshole!" I say when he gets in the car after opening my door

"What now?" He tries to desperately hide his smirk

"You-you...seduced me and distracted me so I forgot about the money!" I gasped

His chuckle was deep and low "well I never said I played fair...and I told you I get what I want, and what I want is for you to not pay"

I side-eye him trying to stay mad but the look on his face and a smile daring to form makes my anger melt away

He seems more relaxed and like himself, he's not afraid to be a tease or smile, and it's nice

After driving for a bit I decided to break the silence "so where are we going"

"There's a little Italian restaurant that's really good nearby, they have my favorite pizza and pasta dishes there"

"That sounds great right now" I groan, I am so damn hungry right now

He laughs

When we get there I see a pretty brick building with flowers decorated outside and some chairs to eat outside, on the inside the ceiling has beautiful leaves wrapping around the beams and some warm cozy lights, the inside has brick walls and checkered printed clothed tables that feels so cozy

"It's so cute" I smile taking a picture of Aaron as we sit at a table in the corner of the restaurant

I smile looking at the photo of him looking at his menu looking as sexy as ever

He laughs "my mom always says the same thing whenever we come here"

"Do you come here often with her?" I smile looking at him

"I try having dinner with my parents when I can, and we go to this place a lot" he nods

"Do they live here?" I ask

"Like 40 minutes away" he nods again putting his menu down

"What are they like?" I smile

"Well my mom is one of the best people you will ever meet she loves to cook, she owns a restaurant called love bites she cooks many dishes but she's famous for her Russian deserts" he nods in thought

"NO way, your mom owns that restaurant!? Ever since I moved here and looked at different restaurants I always had that one at the top of my list" I grin shaking my head in shock

"I guess I'll have to take you sometime" he smiles slightly

I smile at his offer "are you guys Russian?"

"Yes" he nods

"Can you say something in Russian?" I ask

"I'm bored and can't speak any other languages" I huff to myself

He laughs and thinks for a minute "Ты прекрасна"

(You're beautiful)

"What's that mean?" I ask

"You're beautiful" he smiles

I feel the heat instantly crawl up my cheeks

I clear my throat "what's your dad like?"

He smirks "you know clearing your throat doesn't get rid of your cute flushed cheeks right?"

I hide my face in my hands "stop it" i mumble

He chuckles "I like it when you blush, you look cute"

"I thought I said stop, not make me even redder" I groan

"Too bad"

"Anyways my dad is pretty cool, he's all business, I guess that's where I got that from" he shrugs after a moment of me sitting in embarrassment

"Your parents seem pretty amazing" I smile looking at his chin as I try to not think about my parents

"They are" he smiles sadly clearly seeing I'm thinking about mine

Before we can say anything a waiter comes and we order a pizza and a pasta dish and decide to just split both because I didn't know which one I wanted and I knew I couldn't eat both a pizza and a pasta dish so Aaron suggested we split both

We eat and I immediately moan as I take a bite of the pasta dish

Aaron grunts at my response

"You really have to stop doing that Vanessa," he says with a frown on his face

"Well sorry I can't exactly control what comes out of my mouth when I eat good food" I laugh

He just rolls his eyes and we continue eating in a peaceful silence clearly both of us too hungry to talk

When he drives me to my place He takes me to my door even though I said he's just wasting time taking me to my apartment on the 3rd floor when I can go myself

But he rolled his eyes, opened the car door for me and took me anyway

Stubborn man.

"I had fun thank you for taking me" I hug him when I arrive at my door

"I did too," He says hugging me back

"See you at work tomorrow Aaron" I smile

"See you at work tomorrow Vanessa" he smirks giving me a teasing kiss close to my lips

Gosh dang it why doesn't he just kiss me on the lips?

He starts walking away but I say "do you still want me to address you as Mr. Huxley at work"

"I wouldn't mind" he shrugs smirking

entering my apartment I sigh leaning against my door, not understanding how someone's presence can make you feel so alive...

------ notes------

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter

Also the reason i did the whole heart thing with the dad is because i wanted there to be journal entry's that Vanessa reads from her dad about situations she is in and get like advice and whatever...I don't know i thought it would be a cute little thing i guess, I don't know or maybe its stupid as shit y'all tell me (I know I already explained this but people never read the notes so....yeah)

Vote and comment it means a lot!

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