|45| push up kisses

And like the moon,

We must go through phases

Of emptiness to feel

Full again.

~Unkown

_______________

I wake up and groan as I feel my head pulse from a headache, I reach for my phone but end up touching a rock-hard chest

I freeze for a minute when I realize I don't remember much from last night...just me talking to a bartender and then I think I went to the park,

I take a deep breath in and am hit with the smell of Aaron...

Aaron,

Oh, good it's not a random man...

Oh no...how did I get in his bed?

Shit, I don't remember talking to him last night

I open my eyes to see a sleeping Aaron, I see a glass of water and an Advil,

I take it and drink the whole glass and get up to pee careful to not wake him up,

After I get done with the bathroom I see Aaron awake and sitting up against the headboard with his arms crossed

And he looks pissed...

Holy shit, what exactly did I tell him last night?

"Come here," he says poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue

I walk over slowly and he sits me down so I straddle his lap "first off..how's your head?"

I clear my throat "hurts kind of" I mumble

He nods and looks over my face and I can tell he's trying to keep it together, this is the same face he has when he doesn't like what he hears in a meeting and Is trying not to rip everyone's heads off, his jaw is clenched and eyes narrow with eyebrows furrowed a little,

He grips my chin so I'm looking straight at him and takes a deep breath in "now tell me why you got drunk off your mind and didn't even think to tell me beforehand Vanessa"

"I- I didn't want to bother you," I say quietly

It's a half-truth...I actually didn't want to run the risk of telling him about my heart but...whatever

"Bullshit..." he spits out

Yeah...kind of is

"You know I would've been right next to you the entire time just like you were for me when I got drunk, how is that fair to me Vanessa?" He says with anger radiating off of him

"Tell me how it's fair for me to get a call from you at 2:30 in the damn morning to hear you drunk off your mind in the middle of a park all by your damn self with no one to keep you safe," he says swallowing harshly

"I'm sorry...I was just stressed I didn't think to call you beforehand" I whisper

"Stressed...Vanessa" he spits out with a warning tone

"Do you know how stressed I was to find you laying in a park by yourself, I was scared half to death that someone might have done something to you, maybe drugged you or hurt you" he says with his voice getting heavy with worry

"And I want you to trust me enough to come to me when you're stressed...I want to be the person who's there for you no matter what you're stressed about" he tells me with his eyes clouding

"Aaron" I whisper cupping his cheek

"You scared me Vanessa..." he whispers and my heart breaks

"I tried so hard to stay calm and laugh along with what you were saying but I felt like throwing up in fear the whole time, scared that someone Hurt you or something happened and I wasn't there to keep you safe," he says with a tear making its way down his cheek, I immediately wipe it

Crap...well it's safe to assume he doesn't know about my heart and was just genuinely worried about me

"I'm really sorry Aaron...so sorry I scared you" I whisper hugging him

He holds me tightly as if he's scared I'm going to disappear...

I don't tell him how I'm going to have to break it off in two days I just keep quiet and let him hold me

My heart hurts at the thought of him that worried, and it makes me even more scared of what he would think if he found out about my heart

"Promise me Vanessa that if you choose to get drunk again you will call me beforehand so I'm with you the whole time" he whispers

I won't be getting drunk in the future seeing as I don't have one... "I promise" I whisper

It's not technically a lie...I don't plan on getting drunk which means I won't have to call him so it isn't that much of a lie, I don't think

He cradles the back of my head close to his neck, holding me as close as he possibly can

We stay like that for a while, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you" I whisper breaking the silence

I'm sorry I didn't tell you a lot of things that have been happening is what I want to tell him but my mouth won't let me

"Just please don't do it again by yourself" he sighs

____________

"I seriously called someone fruit loops and Santa?" I hide my face in my hands, groaning in embarrassment

He chuckles "yeah...you also said my voice is sexy and I have nice hands"

"Well I didn't lie there" I mumble to myself

"Speak up sweetheart I couldn't hear you" he smirks

"I said I didn't lie," I say louder with a smile

He hums and kisses me, I break the kiss and mumble against his lips "Mhm, I want ice cream"

He throws his head back and laughs

"What is so funny" I frown "let me guess it's cus it's winter?"

He shakes his head "no when you were drunk you wanted ice cream too...you kept interrupting what we were talking about to say you wanted it"

"Did you give me ice cream?" I ask smiling slightly

he nods "you had rocky road while you forced me to watch the second Mulan movie with you"

"Do you still have some of that Ice cream?" I ask wanting something sweet

He lifts me and I immediately tighten my grip on the back of his neck, he walks over to his kitchen and places me on the countertop

I hiss a little when the cold countertops hit my bare thighs, He opens his freeze and names the different ice cream flavors he has, I ended up picking Rocky Road because it's the best flavor

"What are we going to do today?" I ask eating a spoon full still sitting on the countertop, he spreads my legs apart and stands between them with his hands still grasping my thighs

"Whatever you want," he says caressing my chin

I lean into his touch and place a kiss on his lips "I want to just to spend the weekend with you" I say against his lips

"I think we can arrange that," he says deep in thought

"I'm just going to point out that I'm not taking my eye off of you this weekend..." he says sternly

I gently place a kiss on the frown line between his eyebrows "I'm sorry for not telling you...please don't be mad anymore" I whisper

"You were an idiot for going out at night by yourself in New York City" he sighs

"I know...and I won't do it again," I tell him

"I need to blow off some steam," he says walking away, as his hands clench at his sides,

Leaving me on the countertop...by myself

"Excuse me, am I invited?" I ask grabbing my bowl of ice cream and running after him

He grabs my bowl with one hand and with the other swings me over his shoulder, I let out a little screech at the unexpected motion

He walks over to a room I haven't been into since its the gym

Ah...got it.

He sets me down on a bench on the side of the home gym and kisses my lips roughly before handing me my ice cream

"Oooh, I get to watch you work out...fun" I mumble under my breath

He takes his shirt off with one hand and I'm mesmerized by the action, he does some kind of warm-ups then does pull-ups which I'm pretty sure makes me drool as I watch his muscles strain, his sweat glistening on his back makes me completely forget about my ice cream for a minute,

I quickly take some pictures of him working out because I can't resist, I eat my ice cream with my eyes never leaving Aaron,

I can't do workouts like sit-ups and things that can put pressure on my heart so I just don't do any Exercises other than an occasional walk, but that doesn't mean I can't watch a hot man doing them.

He does some weight workouts, then some push-ups But stops after what looks like a hundred

"Are you don't with your ice cream?" He asks

"Yep" I nod

"Come here" he nods his head over to him, I walk over "sit on my back"

"Ooh this is fun" I grin, I get on his back and lay so my chest is pressed against his back and my face lays near his neck

After about thirty push-ups I kiss the side of his neck

"How many push-ups do you usually do?" I ask

"I try doing in total about 200 but I do them in reps so I get breaks," he says doing a couple more

I grin and slide off his back "excuse you get on my damn back Vanessa" he says with his brows knit

"I saw in a movie that a guy did push-ups while a girl was under him and he would kiss her each time he went down" I grin

He rolls his eyes but there's a hint of a smile there, I slide underneath him and cradle his face "just don't squish me please"

He does a push-up and gives me a kiss "I won't, I promise"

He does around twenty more and I laugh a little "this is fun"

"I didn't think a man being sweaty would be hot but you somehow manage to make it extremely attractive" I shake my head looking at his chest

He chuckles and plants a kiss on my cheek "I love you"

"I love you...a lot" I whisper with a smile

My chest constricts as I look at his beautiful face, I'll miss him smiling at me, that's for sure

Shit, I'll miss life in general, with him by my side especially.

I don't think it's hit me that I'm dying in a handful of months yet, to be honest, the chance that someone gives me their heart is slim to none,

and it breaks me to think Aaron's going to have to lose another person in his life...whether I tell him or not he's going to lose me.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Aaron places a kiss over my moon tattoo, I smile at him and tilt my head to look at his face, he has some of his dark hair falling on his forehead as he does the push-ups, his piercing blue eyes seem darker in the gym lighting, after a few more he grasps my hips and pushes me over so he's under me and I'm on top

"You drive me insane woman" he sighs watching me

"You done with your 200 pushups?" I smile down at him ignoring his obscene remark

He nods and looks at me with a smirk, I run my hand gently over the scar on his side where they took his kidney out, I bend down to kiss his tattoo,

He looks at me with a ghost of a smile, he flips us around so I'm under him again "geez" I mumble grabbing onto his shoulder,

_____________

The rest of the day goes by in a blur of us constantly being around each other, he told me about the weird shit I was saying when I was drunk, I wanted to know if I hinted at my heart in any way,

And when he said I mumbled that I didn't want to leave him when I was falling asleep my heart rate picked up, but he thought I meant I didn't wanna leave his apartment for the night which calmed me down on the inside,

"I want to give you something," he says breaking the silence of us cuddling on the couch

"Okay?" I ask confused

He chuckles getting up "I've mentioned it before, it's not a car or anything doesn't worry"

I roll my eyes and watch him go to his room, he comes out with some kind of album in hand

My heart speeds up at the memory of when he told me he was making an album of pictures of us months ago

He sits down beside me and puts it in my hands, I look at the album, it's a pretty grey color, and 'my sunshine' is engraved into it

I smile as I run my fingers over the gold-colored engraved letters "it's for me?" I ask stupidly

"No it's for my other sunshine...of course, it's for you" he chuckles kissing me on the side of my head,

I open it slowly and almost cry on the spot, the first page has our first date photo that he took of me grinning and looking at my sandwich before taking a bite

There's a cute note at the top,

To my sunshine, this Album of photos will be our adventures and pictures, I will fill it with memories as many of them fit in here, I will write you little notes in here, so you can look back on the start of our journey ~ love, Aaron (your moon)

I flip through some of the pages and see they're filled with pictures and letters and there are even little tickets and trinkets of places we would go

I put the album down and hug Aaron tightly, "thank you, I love it" I mumble against his neck

"And I love you" I whispered

"I love you too sunshine," he says against my head

We spend the rest of the night looking through the album, on some pictures we laugh, and in some, I nearly cry like a picture of henry and I laughing on the rooftop that I didn't even know Aaron took, there are pictures of his parents and I that he took the night we met, there is a picture of his mom and me in the middle of singing while we're smiling in her kitchen, there are pictures of Aaron and me cuddling, then on our vacation,

It's our story,

Our memories,

And it almost breaks my heart in half to see these memories again knowing the empty future I have ahead of me.

----notes----

I kind of hate these past ten chapters I've written, But I ain't rewriting shit so don't hate lol

Vote and comment it really helps me know you guys enjoy the chapters (and it kinda motivates me to continue writing more for you)

Word count: 2563