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Chapter 12

chapter 12

Sanyog - A Coincidence

The calls continued for some time and then there was silence ….

I felt better … but her thoughts and my family background haunted me throughout the night … the dream continued for whole night…

I met her in the library and handed her the letter in which I have written my feelings for her… she took the letter and went towards reading room … while I waited for her in boy’s reading room … till 8.25am … after that she went directly towards the library door … without looking at me… ignoring me , I thought … my heart was throbbing loudly like a grinding machine… I comforted my mind … may be she hasn’t read the letter that’s why she has ignored me… and she is sincere student … she won’t miss single lecture… I followed her … she wasn’t going towards the class but she was walking towards the lake road… I thought , why she is moving in that direction … I was walking fast … I was panting due to speed … and suddenly she disappeared in the trees … I chased her there … but there was nobody … I was exhausted and sweating … I sat on the ground and started shouting … Sanyogita … Sanyogita … where are you? Suddenly my mother was calling … Sameep … why are you sitting on the ground… what are you doing… get up and go to your classes … my father was also there … but he wasn’t talking at all… but his eyes … they revealed everything… as if they were saying … you are the only ray of hope in our life … and why are you doing this? Think about your priorities in life … and again I was shouting Sanyogita … where are you? And at once … I saw … a white cloud … which was like foam on the river back at my village … and on that cloud … Sanyogita and Sumangal were floating … I shouted once again … what are you doing there… we have to meet Bhandari mam… we are going to exchange our notes… we have to achieve our aims… come back… we are late … already late for the classes… but my voice didn’t reach them… and again they floated on the white cloud … which went far away… I shrieked with my full energy… come back Sanyogita… come back…

I got up; I was perspiring thoroughly… shaking … I was unable to understand where I was …

Sumangal came running … what happened … he was asking … drink some water … take this … he pushed a glass of water in my hand …

I gulped the water at once …

He was asking … are you ok?

He was asking … are you ok… Sir… open the door.

Why was he calling me Sir …

Whose Sir am I ?

Whether it’s dream or reality…

Where am I …

Where I am …

Sanyogita, where is she? Has she left me…

I pushed Sumangal away… and said, ‘Don’t touch me… give me back my Sanyogita…’…

I heard … he was saying … ‘why are you pushing me… who’s that girl… I don’t know… wake up… this is just a dream… come back…’

I just said, ‘I am exhausted … I need rest… May I sleep here…’

He uttered … ‘Why are you speaking like this … this is your room and bed … sleep well …’

And I don’t remember anything further …

What happened?

Somebody lifted me up… are you ok Sir? He asked…

Yes , I am … I was sleeping … why did you break into my room… my privacy…

He hesitated and said , ‘No Sir, I didn’t wish to disturb you… but I heard you were shouting … so I entered with the another key… Sir … please have some water … and this pill …‘… He put the pill in my hand …

‘What’s this? Who are you? Sumangal , right … you are Sumangal …. ‘, I was uttering …

Sir , please sit down on the bed … here … take the pillow … move that side … he was instructing me… and I followed meekly after gulping the pill … again I slept ….

Again … I saw them … on the same cloud … but this time … I was totally exhausted and I couldn’t call her …

The alarm clock rang at 5.00 am

I woke up as usual … and went to washroom to freshen up…

When I came back… Sumangal … I thought was observing me through his blanket …

But I continued with my studies … I revised the poem which  madam has taught yesterday and wrote a rough draft of the critical analysis of the poem …

At 7.00 am , I said good bye to Sumangal who was still asleep and moved towards library … for my punishment … but actually this punishment proved a reward for me … as I got a chance to meet her there …

I entered the library with lot of enthusiasm, as today we were going to meet Bhandari madam regarding the preparation of notes … and after that , I might get a chance to meet her every day…

Peon uncle instructed me with his eyes again … broom and duster there … I started daily cleaning and dusting work… he ordered … ‘Do the cleaning of girls reading room today… ‘ … I wished to say no instead my legs started in that direction … there is no co-ordination between your body and heart my mind said … I just laughed… I entered the room with the hope to have a  glance at her pretty face in the morning … alas!... she was not there today… I cleaned the room silently , slowly and came back… My mind was crowded with thoughts , how could this happen ? Is she fine ? What happened ? She is so sincere … and punctual … I was cleaning the teacher’s room when I felt , she was there … She was talking with peon uncle … today bus was late … so I came late … Peon uncle asked her … are you afraid of the bicycle after that day’s incident … when you fell … she casually replied … no, but , my uncle’s house is almost 8 kms. Away from here … So, I used to get very much tired after cycling so my father told me to travel by bus … and she went upstairs and I felt relieved … all my stress was gone… I completed my work … and took the Indian Express for note making …

Today I was reading the editorial and other headlines very carefully and jotting down important points in a sequence … this is the day … I thought … I could impress her by my wits if not by my looks and background …

Dr. Archana Pandit

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