chapter 24
Sanyog - A Coincidence
Sameep ⦠where are you lost ⦠Sanyogita was saying ⦠Sameep , she called out aloud â¦
Hamm ⦠I came out of my thoughtsâ¦
Letâs go for a walk â¦she added â¦
Sure â¦I said ⦠I will come within a minute and went inside the house â¦And told my mother that Sanyogita will be there for dinner but we have decided to cook together something for you â¦
Sameep ⦠you are not still completely recovered and Sanyogita also looks troubled ⦠so both of you donât worry , I will manage ⦠Ma repliedâ¦
We are in the garden Ma ⦠call us if you need any help , I said and went out â¦
We went into the garden for a stroll but after one round I was tired so I suggested that we will sit under the Pipal tree , she agreed readily â¦
There was complete silence between us almost for five minutes â¦
The chirping of the birds, rustling of the leaves and the meditative silence of the surrounding engrossed us ⦠I was feeling a different kind of peace and satisfaction in her company⦠I wished that moment should freeze and we should be there forever ⦠I laughed at my thought ⦠I am actually behaving like a teenager , my mind said⦠if she could read your mind then its all over ⦠my mind instructed â¦
I looked at her ⦠her calm face ⦠her expressive eyes ⦠her huge bun , earlier used to be her long braids ⦠everything was as usual ⦠but the pain hidden behind it all, I could sense very well⦠though she never looked at me earlier also as her soulmate , but she was my soulmate and today also she is ⦠and will be forever ⦠I canât see her disguising , to hide something from me ⦠at that time also and now also ⦠so I asked her straight forwardly ⦠what are you hiding from me Sanyogita?
She replied instantly , âYou are also hiding something , I know very wellâ¦â
âThis is not the answer to my questionâ¦â, I said irritatingly , âWhy are you avoiding that topic ⦠I know very wellâ¦â
âWhat do you know , you know nothing â¦â, she burst â¦.
âSo tell me , I want to knowâ¦â , I replied
Sometimes , some decisions in your life go wrong ⦠when you are so much confident about all your decisions and that one decision ruins all else⦠that is so painful Sameep, she saidâ¦
This is not the puzzle time , I said laughing ⦠and you know my ability to read others minds ⦠I am a big zero in that ⦠so donât talk in bubbles ⦠please be frank and tell me ⦠open up ⦠you will feel better ⦠I uttered â¦
Sameep , you know , my parents had great expectations from me⦠she whispered â¦
Even my parents had ⦠I replied
But you fulfilled their expectations ⦠She said
Do you think so ⦠I asked
Yes, Sameep ⦠she replied ⦠you cleared UPSC , got your post , served in various countries ⦠you have achieved everything ⦠donât you?
Do you really think , I have got , what I deserved or what I wanted ⦠I questioned â¦
Sameep ⦠you are a successful person ⦠and everyone doesnât get everything ⦠and though we receive everything, we wish for more ⦠our desires are unending ⦠she said in a silent toneâ¦
Oh! Philosophical , I teased her â¦
You ⦠she said angrily ⦠here I am serious and you are mocking me â¦
No madam, I said smiling ⦠but this tension doesnât suit you ⦠I have seen you always strong and determined girl ⦠this kind of words and thinking and you , they donât cope up with each other â¦
Thatâs right ⦠you also think in that manner ⦠Sameep ⦠even my parents said so ⦠when I used to visit themâ¦She said
âWhat does it mean⦠â , I asked
What? She questioned
âUsed toâ , I replied â¦
âSameep, my parents are no more â¦â, she said in a calm voiceâ¦
âWhat?â, I shouted â¦
âYes⦠they couldnât bear the shock ⦠she replied
Sanyogita ⦠are we playing in puzzle game or am I solving any question paper with fill in the blanks ⦠I said angrily â¦
She was shocked with my words and started weepingâ¦
Oh! Sorry ,I said , I didnât mean to hurt you â¦I saidâ¦
âI am sorry about your parentsâ¦â, but what exactly happened â¦I asked
âThey couldnât bear the shock â¦â, she repeated â¦
âWhich shock? Sanyogitaâ, I asked â¦
We were not able to crack UPSC , do you remember ⦠she asked â¦
How could I forget ⦠I said ⦠that bad phase â¦
She further added , you left for Delhi ⦠I was in Indore â¦
Yes, I know ⦠we met once or twice then ⦠I saidâ¦
Sameep, really , I lost all my hopes after that failure as I havenât failed in any exam till that date ⦠she said ⦠from the beginning UPSC was my dream and I never wanted to be a teacher or lecturer though I have done M.A. English ⦠friends, family all were advising to do B.Ed. and get settled in a job of lecturer but ⦠that big but ⦠Sameep ⦠she stopped ⦠now I feel relieved after so many years ⦠by disclosing my mind with someone ⦠you cleared UPSC Sameep , in first attempt after you were in Delhi ⦠you got busy with the training and all ⦠I was all alone in Indore ⦠my father was insisting me to appear for other central government exams but I wasnât ready ⦠so the rift between us widened ⦠Sameep he was my lifeâs backbone and I behaved very adamantly with him⦠now I feel so ashamed of myself ⦠how ambitious I was , you knew me very well⦠but some of your decisions go wrong â¦
What decision you are talking about , I asked herâ¦why didnât you talk with me at that time ⦠I said openly ⦠and in the mind I was crying ⦠why didnât you wait for me?
Sameep , âdo you remember those letters , those love letters â¦â she askedâ¦
Yes, those anonymous letters ⦠I replied â¦
âThose letters changed my life â¦â , she uttered â¦
âWhat?â, I shouted â¦
Dr. Archana Pandit