chapter 36

Unbale to know what to do , I patted on her back affectionately … I expected she would then leave me … On the contrary . she started sobbing aloud .. I was confused …what to say … still I gathered my courage and uttered … Sanyogita , we will surely bring back our baby Suparana  … you don’t worry … Really Sameep … will you help me out in this … will you accept her … I mean … I tightened my embrace and said … Sanyogita … Sanyogita … don’t you know me … this question is useless … you should ask me … how we are going to bring back our baby … She answered sobbing … you don’t know Sumangal … he has changed a lot during these years … and above all he is very much attached with her … so he is not ready to give her custody to me … he wants to torture me and he knows very well the way … Don’t worry , we will find out the solution … I comforted her … Sameep … she is so young and innocent … I didn’t wish bruises on her tender mind due to our strained relationship so I insisted on to keep her in the hostel and now he is using the same card with me … she said ...What? I questioned making her sit on the chair in the kitchen … He has proof with him … how I am a bad mother … how I don’t care for my child … How  I am incapable to carry her responsibility … etc. etc. and the court believes in proof …even my daughter said in the court, this decision was taken by mother … so Sameep , I don’t know what to do … I feel … I am stuck in a loop … and therefore court has given orders , that custody of our daughter will be with him … I am a bad mother … Sameep … I am really bad … too bad… I lost everyone … my parents … my brothers, they never ask me after the death of my parents as they are afraid I may ask for share in the ancestral property … I am all alone … a bad daughter … a bad wife and now a bad mother … I am bad friend also … I never understood you … right … I am a big failure … uttering this monologue … she burst again … I said … control yourself and offered her a glass of water … wiped her tears with a tissue paper … After drinking a glass of water … she landed into reality and said sorry for what happened just … I couldn’t control myself … she said … extremely sorry for that and again ran towards the kitchen to roll the rotis … I caught her hand and said … Ma will do it … let’s go out in the garden … wash your hands first … Sameep … I don’t wish to trouble her … I will finish this work and then we will go … I nodded … Sitting on the chair … I was observing her graceful movements while rolling the rotis … She washed her hands … put the rotis in the box and we came out … Ma and Baba were sitting on the couch watching their favourite serial , they didn’t pay attention to us … I was sure they were doing purposely … I also ignored them and went out … We sat on the cane chairs in the garden … actually I wanted a hot cup of coffee so I said to Sanyogita … I will be back … I was about to get up from the chair … Ma arrived with two cups … She said … Coffee for you both … have it first … Sanyogita , you are tired … don’t think too much … there is solution to every problem… and she returned … without looking back … How come aunty is so optimistic … Sanyogita asked … I also don’t know … I answered … but she is like that from the beginning … she believes in God and his right decisions for good people … and to my surprise … everything happens same as she predicts … Has she studied any type of astrology … Sanyogita asked I started laughing … there is power in belief … she believes in that …I uttered … What does she believe in … Sanyogita asked … She believes in God , good people and good deeds … she always say good things happen to good people at right time … but we don’t believe , we lose faith in between … and we are lost … patience is necessary … I stated … Simple philosophy of simple people … Sanyogita uttered … Yes , I agreed … we make it more complex , so called educated people like us … we want everything immediately … but its not so … now I understand … I answered … Am I 'good' that is the question … Sanyogita uttered … Who labelled you bad …I asked Everyone back there … she answered … Don’t think about them … If you know very well , you are right and good then don’t bother about the society … they will speak with two mouths … so don’t worry about their opinions … if your conscious tells you that you are right then don’t pay attention …I said in an assertive tone … She nodded in agreement … you are right … why I should be afraid about that society … who never helped me in my distress and now they are ready to speak about me … What happened exactly …I asked … That’s long story Sameep … I will narrate some other time … first of all … I want my daughter back … I corrected her … We want our daughter back … this is the right statement … She smiled … Still that charm was prevalent in her smile … I came to reality and asked … in which court he has filed the case … In Bhopal … she replied …we were married there … so … Ok… who is your lawyer … we should contact him and tell about Suparna …I said … He knows everything … I have told him hundred times … but his answer is fixed … legal matters take time … you have to be patient … sometimes I think Sumangal must have bribed him … so whenever he stands in the court … court gives next date … and the matter is pending as usual … she uttered in a dejected tone … Quite possible … I replied … Tomorrow morning I will call him … Sameep … Sanyogita … come for dinner … I have served … Let’s go I said and stretched my hand towards her … she took my hand in her hand … and we entered the home with locked hands …Ma was observing us with awe … I noticed … Dr. Archana Pandit