about her

[ sige na sabbb pls pls pls :⁠'( ]

My phone chimed again, muli ko na namang tiningnan ang phone ko and as expected it's still her.

"argh" I can't help but express my frustration

"Oh what's wrong?"

"wala, may naalala lang"

"What about it?"

"Nothing Shi"

"Sabihin mo na kasi, papilit pa"

Nandito kami ngayon sa mall looking for something to wear, finally the preparation is done for the party and I'm 101% confident about it.

Tomorrow is the party and we decided to spend the whole day preparing for ourselves. You know, we want to slay the glam so hard kasi we've been busy the whole week.

"Ah si Ate Maya nag text na naman" anya ko habang pumipili ng damit

"Sagotin mo na kasi"

I jumped in front of the cloth rack where she's choosing na ikinagulat niya, agad akong kumindat "but I'm hard to get"

3..2...1 "YUCK KADIRI!" Shiloh reacted, there she goes with her exaggerating violent reaction

I rolled my eyes at her "inggit ka lang sa ganda kong 'to no! che!"

She was about to response nang nag ring ang phone ko, hay si ate maya na naman

"Aren't you going to answer?"

I sighed "guess I have no choice." Huminga muna ako ng malalim before I answered

"Hello Sab!"

"Ate Maya, hi..."

"so hehe....about my request, have you talked to her?"

"Ah..we haven't seen each other since yesterday kaya hindi ko pa na open up....sorry"

"It's okay, ako nga dapat mag sorry eh, I know I'm pressuring you, but Joan is a catch and I've always wanted to have someone like her in my club..."

"ah...yes she is, I know that." I sure do "I'll try pero I'm not promising anything.."

"That's more than enough Sabrina!"

"Hey as I've said it's not a promise, na kay Jo parin ang decision"

"ahuh, pero alam kong makikinig sayo si Jo, and it's not a sin to be hopeful!"

I mean what makes her so sure? "I doubt that....erm, hey ate maya"

"Hm?? Yes sabby?"

"Say....do you like her that much?"

"Who? Joan? Of course! Don't you?"

"Ah..hahaha of course I do... it's Joan after all."

"Right. Who doesn't right? Anyway, thank you Sabrina! I'm hoping to hearing from youu soon! Hehe bye!"

She ended the call.

And here I am, overthinking.

I mean, Jo is like the most amazing talented person I know, I haven't heard her sing or anything but I know for sure she's extraordinary, but it bothers me...that I don't have the exclusivity to see that, I know she's not meant to be hidden, I know she's not some kind of a pirate treasure to be kept secret at mas lalong hindi naman ako pirata.

Pero paano kung sabay ng pag-usad niya ay maiwan ako?

greed. you're so greedy.

ganiyan ka Sabrina.

Shiloh was waiting for me at the counter at madali akong pumunta sa kinatatayuan niya

"Shi, I have to go...I need to go"

"What?" she asked confused "where are you going? At tsaka may nangyari ba? You're scaring me"

"No no no, I just, I need to go see Joan.."

"Did something happened to her?" ramdam ko sa boses niya ang pag-aalala

Scaring her is never my plan pero kung hindi ko pa nakita si Joan

"hindi ko na kakayin..."

"Just what the hell are you talking about Sabrina?"

"I need to go see her Shi because... because, I need her" I said looking down

I didn't hear a reply, kaya naman tiningnan ko siya and she gave me a soft and genuine look, and it gave me comfort

"Go Sab, go get her"

After hearing that I found myself running, I promised myself na hindi ako magiging katulad ng iba na tatakbong naka-heels para sa isang lalaki, nagmukha akong tangang tumawang mag-isa and didn't give a single care kung pinagtitinginan ako ng mga taong nakakasalubong ko sa daan.

"hindi ako tatakbong naka-heels para sa isang lalaki" that was too specific, now I'm running with my heels on for a girl.

I got on a cab at agad binigay ang address but something caught my attention "Manong itigil niyo po ang sasakyan!"

Ikinagulat niya ito pero agad din naman niyang tinapakan ang brakes

And after that, I found myself in front of Joan's gate.

Standing there made me remember the night I drove her here...

I bit my lower lip. Tangina this is nerve-wracking. I never felt this way before.

I'm just so... anxious.

And I'm not used to this kind of feeling pero gayunpaman, it made me smile because Joan......makes me feel so human.

Makes me feel things, things I wasn't supposed to because people always perceived me as the perfect girl.

I was about to press the doorbell nang biglang bumukas ang gate

I was surprised when I saw Joan coming out, nasa gilid ako kaya naman hindi niya ako napansin, she was carrying a garbage bag, her hair on a messy bun and she was wearing a loose t-shirt paired with what appears to be a very short cycling shorts

I can't help not to look at her from head to foot...

"Jo"

She dropped what she's carrying and froze for a moment bago siya humarap sa akin

I bit my lip... not letting my lips for into a curve. She didn't say a word just staring

And yes I couldn't help but chuckle

Her eyes widen when she heard me and it's ironic how her eyes appears somewhat smaller than they actually are

"S-Sabrina? Are you real?"

She walked closer and carefully poked my arms, maybe she thought I was just her imagination

it's adorable.

aba'y tanggal talaga ang angas ko.

I pursed my lips trying to stop myself from swooning. Kainis tong babaeng to eh.

"Hi there Miss bespectacled femme fatale"

really, because this girl will be the death of me.

...

"erm, ano gusto mo juice? coke? water or?"

"you"

"Ha?"

"Ah sabi ko may you-yakult ba kayo hehe"

"Ah, check ko muna" she was about to leave kaya naman agad akong tumayo to go after her

"Hey Jo, I'm really okay with anything" I said softly

"a-ah so erm juice?"

I smiled and nodded

She reciprocate the smile "you can just wait sa sala" her lips pressed together, she seems unsure of what to say next, she slowly scratched her head, a habitual gesture I noticed that always accompanied her moments of deep thought "and, and just feel at home Sab"

After saying that agad siyang umalis, I feel bad coming here unannounced, I can sense Jo's a bit uncomfortable, I mean sino ba namang hindi?

I slowly walked back to their living room, seeing their place for the first time, nakakapanibago. It's not like I've always had a friend to hangout with. Wandering around one's house is new to me, I mean oo I used to go to Shiloh's place pero this one's different, maybe because it's Jo?

I can't help but look around, they have white walls echoing the simplicity of the exterior, the living room, an understated elegance, anchored by a plush, white sofa and in the middle is their coffee table it looks like a natural wood and it held a collection of artfully arranged books and a vase of fresh flowers and I was completely in awe, and to add their warm, honey-colored wood floor that is very opposite to our house, my Mom's a fashion designer kaya naman it's impossible for her to stick on minimalistic designs, our home really radiates our personalities, and from the look of it all and the comfort that comes with all this, I can visualize how Jo grew up so warm and kind as a person, she's always been so welcoming and I hated how others sometimes took advantage of her soft heart.

I continued exploring their house, and from where I'm standing just between the living room and stairs, you can see the large window, framing a view of the lush backyard, bathed the room in natural light, it was mesmerizing.

I heard her Mom's a lawyer, not really sure what type, but the conclusion is parang ang kapal kapal nang mukha mo kung sasaktan mo ang puso ni Jo eh, not the typical "heto 1 million layuan mo ang anak ko" but the type to "you broke her heart? heto reclusion perpetua para sayo"

magandang bahay, magandang anak- tatanggap kaya siya ng magandang daughter in law? charot (hahhahhhalf meant)

Habang wala pa siya ay sinulit ko nang magtingin tingin, I saw some pictures of Jo sa wall, from when she graduated grade school hanggang highschool, and a picture of her and her mom siguro nasa 4 or 5 years pa siya. I can't help but stole a shot ang cute kasi

"Sab?"

When I heard her I slid my phone back to my pocket hastily

"Here, Jo"

Her gaze met mine, I scanned her from bottom to top, with glasses of juice in her hands.

phew. bakit parang ang init init yata? I swished my hand back and forth trying to cool myself down.

Jo's looks intensified and head slightly tilting, her eyebrows raised. "You feel hot Sab?"

"a-ah no, ano lang, nauuhaw lang" agad akong lumapit sa kaniya and took the juice out of her hands "thanks!"

we were sitting across each other at their living room

And yes, the awkwardness is too much I feel like drowning

I was sipping the orange juice she got me and I decided to break the silence "sorry for suddenly barging in Jo"

"ah it's okay, wala rin naman akong ginagawa, kainis lang hindi tuloy ako nakapag-ayos" She tucked her hair after saying those

I smiled "ba't ka naman mag-aayos? Ganyan na ba talaga ako ka-importante sa buhay mo?" Biro ko with my baby voice, trying to loosen the atmosphere

It's my first time seeing Jo like this, the careless Joan Roble, she's always been beautiful and this side of her proves that even more.

"not so much like my dignity" she rolled her eyes at me and smirk "anyway, do you need me to do anything or is there any problem na I can help with?"

we never really hangout without doing anything related to school. kaya naman I know she'd eventually asked that.

Napabuntong hininga ako "guess what, nope, I'm just here to hangout, okay lang ba 'yun?"

"O-Of course, I don't mind at all..."

"Mag isa ka lang?"

"Ah oo, Mom's on a business trip kaya naman she won't be here for the next few days.."

"You? All alone?"

"Oo, teka why do you sound as if I can't manage?"

"I mean, can you? Have you had lunch?"

Jo looked at the clock above their tv, her mouth slightly parted which made me smile, I stood up and walked towards her, I sat next to her before saying "so you really can manage huh"

....

"tikman mo na"

I slowly offered her the spoon with soup on it

"wait" anya ko, I made sure to blow it first bago isubo sa kaniya "here"

She looked at me first, she seems hesitant, but she eventually tasted it

"w-wow... It's good" she said with a little enthusiasm

"Good? Talaga Jo? Specialty pa to ng ninuno ko tapos good lang?"

"Tss. Oo na, masarap."

"Napilitan pa talaga ha"

She rolled her eyes, moved closer to me at kinuha ang kutsara sa kamay ko before saying "your sinigang is really good Sab, now, umalis ka diyan at maghahain na ako"

I gulped "s-sure"

"Halata namang hindi ka gutom no?" Pabiro ko while sumasampong subo na siya

"Ha. Ha .Ha" she laughed sarcastically

It made me chuckle, naalala ko tuloy ang nangyari kanina, she was about to taste what I'm cooking but she was so reckless nang binuksan niya yung takip kaya naman all the steam went to her face and her eyeglasses fog up, it made me laugh so hard she was so close to shooing me away

"ehem" I fake a cough before continuing "I can't help avoiding the elephant in the optician" I joke and we both cracked up

After catching our breath and regaining ourselves agad akong nagtanong "Seriously, I didn't know you wear prescription glasses Jo"

"Like, what do we know about each other Sab, really?" She laughed after saying that "I mean, I didn't even know you cook sinigang this good"

"Touché"

Their laughter echoed through the room once again.

...

(Sabrina POV)

After naming kumain, I volunteered to wash the dishes, hay pinaglaban ko pa talaga to nang 5 minutes bago niya isuko ang sponge eh, habang naghuhugas ako Jo is busy wiping the table, I can't avoid stealing glances at her, I saw her looked at my direction kaya agad akong umiwas ng tingin, phew my heart almost jumped.

She was late to notice that Jo went towards her and without warning Jo leaned and whispered "Sab"

She felt a delicate touch of her breath and for a moment, Sab was frozen, her mind reeling, a shiver ran down her spine. She gulped.

Not knowing what to do she faced Jo, their face only inches away

Her fingers, numb with surprise, fumbled with the plate. It tilted precariously, then plunged into the sink with a soft, sickening thud. It made her move backwards, regaining her consciousness "oh shoot, sorry" her eyes fluttering

Joan's eyes snapped open when Sabrina was about to touch the broken plate on the sink, she tried to stop her but she was too late.

Jo sighed as she carefully clean the small cut on Sabrina's index finger "bakit kasi sinubukan mo pang hawakan"

They're on the backyard, they're sitting on the bench with oversized cushion. Jo didn't hear a reply making her looked at the girl in front of her, Sabrina's eyes was locked on the rectangular pool on the middle, the water, a shimmering expanse of azure, reflected the sky above.

Jo unknowingly drawn by her, her eyes lingered on the other girl's face.

The sunlight caught the soft curve of her cheeks, highlighting the faint freckles scattered across her skin. She traced the lines with her eyes, captivated by the way her face seemed to shift and glow in the warm light.

She was captivated. But dear heavens she wouldn't admit that.

Sabrina faced her and it caught her off guard "Jo, I want to know more about you." She said with a straight face

Making Joan realized that maybe that was the reason of her silence.

Jo isn't sure how to response, but she nodded "but to get to know me dapat memorize mo lahat ng gamot ko ha" she let out an airy laugh after saying that

gamot. she meant her antidepressants.

It made her soft, her eyes trail to both their hands, she smiled softly, and slowly slid her hands into hers, clasping it together.

She then held their intertwined hands gently against her cheek, savoring the warmth and her unspoken promise as she nods gently.

The gesture surprised Jo but it brought comfort to her seeing Sabrina's sincerity, not wanting to ruin it, not wanting to let go

Sabrina slowly lowered their hands and unclasped it, a gentle sigh escaping her lips as their touch faded.

"Jo, I need to tell you something" her heart pounded on her chest, a wave of self-consciousness washed over her

"a-ano?"

"I like you!" words tumbled out of her mouth in a breathless rush, a torrent of emotion unleashed. Her eyes squeezed shut, as if she couldn't bear to witness the reaction, both fear and hope intertwined in a desperate plea, but it was a choked whisper, barely audible - and the shrill ring of the phone pierced the air, a jarring intrusion that swallowed her words whole.

Joan turned off her alarm, at muling ibinaling ang atensyon kay sabrina

"I'm sorry Sab, what was it again?"

Her breath hitched.

"I-I said, I brought you something"

"Really?" Her eyes sparkled "but it's not my birthday yet"

Seeing Joan's face lit up, Sabrina's mouth softened into a smile.

"I know it's so random but consider it as your pre-birthday gift"

They went back inside and Sabrina handed her the cottagecore hair scarf she found earlier "I got you this"

"Sab... it's really pretty, I don't know what to say, I ah, I-" She sighed "Thank you, I appreciate it a lot Sabrina, I wished I prepared something for you too, sana nagsabi ka na mag e-exchange gift tayo eh" pabiro niya

Joan's appreciation was evident and it made her heart real happy, she chuckled with Jo's last line "No Jo, that's just, erm that's a thank you gift, thank you for helping me all this time, without you, maybe I'll crumble."

She shook her head after hearing that "you think that, but all this time, it's all your hard work Sabrina and I'm happy to be part of that."

It's late and they both exchanged goodbye's when Sabrina decided to go home.

"Are you gonna be alright?"

Joan nodded assuring her

"The question is, are you going to be alright? It's almost dark outside"

I gave her a smug look "pft, ako pa" but it didn't convince Jo

"Sab, I'm worried. You can just spend the night here, only if you want."

It's a very tempting offer, but the desire to disappear might have an upper hand over her than the desire to be close to Jo

Even thinking about sleeping close to her can make her cheeks flush a bright crimson, the very last thing she wants Jo to remember is definitely not her humiliating herself, kung iihi siya ng sampung beses sa isang gabi dahil hindi siya mapakali and what if she looks so ugly sleeping? An insecurity that never once in her life she imagined to have, because she's confident in the outside world, but in front of Jo she falters, because she knew how easy the world to please, kolorete lang at talino, you're qualified, you can just masked up. But Jo has this power of wanting her to peel every layer of her skin and reveal herself, and it was a scary thing- what if she won't like that Sabrina?

She knows she's not just thinking about staying the night, it was everything else. It's about her.

"I already called a cab Jo, it's okay, and tomorrow's the big day, don't wanna ruin that for you"

"Hay, sige na nga, make sure to text me when you're home. And let me walk you out."

"No Jo, malamig na sa labas, you'll catch a cold. Don't worry, I'm gonna be okay, thank you for today."

Joan can't do anything but listen to the other girl.

Sabrina was about to leave when Jo reached for her , Sabrina faced her "hm?"

"Thank you for coming Sabrina, see you tomorrow." She smiled softly

And that's that.