Bound By Love: Chapter 19

ARIA

Romero stayed with us in the mansion almost constantly in the days after Luca left me heartbroken. I knew he and my sisters were worried about me because I barely ate. Not for lack of trying but the smell of most food made me feel sick. Luca stayed in New York. He hadn’t as much as messaged me in three days, and I could hardly stand it. Since our wedding, I’d been with him practically every day, and I missed him horribly, not just at night.

I woke up before sunrise, feeling cold despite the two blankets I used at night. I slid out of bed, grabbed my bathrobe and threw it over my nightgown before I moved out of my room and downstairs, then out onto the terrace. Shivering, I searched the premises until my eyes found Romero doing sprints and burpees like every morning. Gianna and Lily were still asleep, and would stay asleep for several more hours.

After a few minutes, he noticed me and jogged toward me, his shirt plastered to his sweaty chest. “Aria, what’s wrong?”

I let out a choked laugh, peering up at him, and he nodded. “He will come around,” he said. “He knows you didn’t cheat. Matteo found the photographer and he confirmed your story.”

I knew what that meant, knew a man had gone through hell on earth so I could prove my innocence, but there was no guilt. I felt empty.

“When?”

“Yesterday.”

Luca hadn’t contacted me, so either he still believed I’d cheated or he really didn’t love me anymore.

I touched my stomach and looked out toward the ocean.

“He needs time to calm down. You going to Chicago behind his back, that left scars and came at the worst possible time. Luca is dealing with a lot of shit from his family at the moment.”

I sighed, hoping Romero was right, hoping Luca would give us another chance. I couldn’t imagine a life without him at my side. “I need to ask a favor of you,” I said eventually, and Romero tensed.

“Aria, now isn’t the time to do anything that could anger Luca any more.”

“I know. Don’t you think I don’t know that?” I whispered harshly. “But he isn’t talking to me. He said he’s done with me, and I don’t have time to wait for him to forgive me.”

Romero frowned. “Why? What is it you need me to do?”

“I need you to take me to New York to a doctor.” I touched my stomach again and Romero followed the movement.

He took a step closer, surprised. “You are pregnant?”

“That’s what the pregnancy test said. That’s the reason why Dante let me go.”

Romero’s face tightened with hatred. “Dante knows you are pregnant? Damn,” he said, lips twisting. “You should tell Luca.”

“No,” I said firmly. “Not when he’s angry, not when he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I don’t want him to feel obligated to return to me because of the child. I want him to return to me because he wants to. And he isn’t in the best state of mind at the moment.”

“That’s true,” Romero said slowly. I could tell he was hiding something. “Eventually, you won’t be able to hide it.”

My stomach tightened. “You think he will stay angry with me for months?” His face gave me the answer I had feared. Maybe I’d really lost him.

A man who had never slept in a bed with someone else, who was never around people without a gun, not even his brother, because he had learned from an early age that trust got you killed—he had trusted me, and I had messed it up.

“If you let me take a quick shower, we can head out right away,” Romero said eventually.

It took me a couple of heartbeats to process his words. “Yes, please. I will get ready.”

Forty minutes later Romero and I were on our way to New York. Gianna and Lily had still been asleep when we left, and Sandro and two other guards would keep watch.

I had put on my wig again so people wouldn’t recognize me. Nobody could find out about my pregnancy.

“Will you tell your sisters?” Romero asked.

I hesitated. “I’d prefer if this could stay between us for a while.” Romero slanted me a conflicted look, but then he nodded. I knew he didn’t like keeping things from Lily, but too much had happened in the last few days, and I needed time to figure out things for myself before I involved more people.

Romero waited in the waiting room as I followed Dr. Brightley into the treatment room. She confirmed my pregnancy and told me I was six weeks along. When I emerged afterward and Romero led me into the elevator, I missed Luca so much, I couldn’t hold back tears. He should have been there with me, should have shared this joyful moment with me.

Romero touched my shoulder but I leaned against him, seeking comfort, and after a moment of hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me. “Aria, Luca will come back to you.”

I wanted to believe him, wanted nothing more. Nodding, I pulled back and wiped my eyes, embarrassed about my outburst. Even if Luca’s absence broke my heart, I needed to be strong for our baby.

I was nervous. This was the first time I’d see Luca in three weeks. We hadn’t talked or messaged. I had sent him a couple of messages in the beginning but then given up when he ignored them. If he needed space, I’d give it to him even if it killed me.

“We should celebrate without the men,” Gianna muttered. “They’re only going to ruin everything.” She meant Luca, and I worried she was right. How could this Christmas be anything but a huge mess with the way things were?

I stepped out of the shower and had to grip the marble counter as a wave of dizziness hit me. I was nine weeks along and didn’t have a bump yet, but the pregnancy ruled my life anyway. I’d lost over ten pounds in the last three weeks because I couldn’t keep any food down. Dr. Brightley wasn’t concerned yet since the baby was developing as it should. I put on my underwear and stepped into the bedroom. Would Luca share a bed with me tonight?

“Fuck, Aria,” Gianna said, pursing her lips as she watched me. “You have lost so much weight.”

“You’re exaggerating,” I said lightly. I grabbed the cream-colored wool dress and pulled it on. It used to hug my curves but now it was loose.

Gianna raised her eyebrows. “That doesn’t look like exaggerating to me.”

“It’s nothing,” I said firmly.

Gianna stepped close. “You are so fucking pale. And those shadows under your eyes.” She shook her head. “You know what. We’ll only put on a bare minimum of makeup. Let him see what he does to you.”

I was too tired to protest and let her apply a hint of foundation and mascara.

“I’m going to kill him if he treats you like shit. I swear. I’m going to stick one of Matteo’s knives into his fucking cruel heart.”

“Gianna,” I said in warning. “I am the one who went behind his back.”

“You went to visit our little brother. Luca cheated on you with Grace only because you didn’t want to put out, and he didn’t tell you when Matteo asked our father for permission to marry me. And I bet he’s lied to you about more things we don’t know about, but only because you don’t obey him like a well-behaved dog, he feels betrayed. Stupid pride of Made Men.”

I wished it were only pride holding Luca back, but I knew it was more—it was darker and more powerful.

Lily knocked and poked her head in. “Dinner is done. Marianna says we can sit down.”

“Is he here?” I asked, hating how my voice broke.

Lily’s expression softened. “Yes, he and Matteo arrived fifteen minutes ago. They are downstairs with Romero.”

Gianna checked her reflection in my mirror. She, too, had barely seen Matteo because she preferred to stay with me, still mad at him, while he was with Luca in New York.

I straightened, hoping I could hold it together. My pregnancy was turning me into an emotional mess.

Gianna squeezed my hand and didn’t let go. “Come on, Aria. You have us. Nothing will ever change that. They have their Famiglia and their blood oath, but we are sisters, we are blood, and we will be at your side till the end of all days.”

Lily took my other hand with a resolute smile. “If you can’t stand his presence, then we’ll leave. We can have dinner in the kitchen. Just the three of us.”

I fought tears.

“Don’t cry,” Gianna ordered. “He’ll think it’s because of him. Don’t give him that power.”

But he had that power over my heart, and there was nothing I could do about it. I resisted the urge to touch my belly, proof of a love lost.

I swallowed, and nodded. “Let’s go.”

We stepped out of the room, into the corridor and toward the staircase. Then I heard his deep voice, and only my sisters’ hold kept me moving. Gianna’s grip on my hand became crushing as we descended the staircase, closer to his voice. As one we stepped into the dining room and my eyes zeroed in on Luca, standing tall next to Matteo and Romero, looking calm. No sign that the last three weeks had affected him. Could he move on like that? Could he switch off his love as easily as that?

Lily squeezed my hand and Gianna stiffened at my side. “Fuck him, Aria. Fuck them all,” she whispered.

And I was determined to follow her advice—but then Luca turned his head and looked straight at me, and my world crumpled. There had been brief moments of hope in these weeks of despair, either because I’d tried to talk myself into believing I could live without Luca, or because I managed to convince myself he would come around.

Now as his hard gray eyes regarded me as they did anyone else, with cold scrutiny and not a hint of warmth, both hopes turned to dust.

LUCA

“You won’t ruin this Christmas for all of us, will you?” Matteo asked. As if his relationship with Gianna had been going well these last few weeks. He’d been my shadow in New York and Gianna had refused to come with him. They were barely civil around each other.

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry. Aria is my wife on paper, but that’s all.” I had closed off my fucking emotions in the last three weeks, and I had absolutely no intention of changing that. I had more important things to worry about—like bringing down Dante and the Outfit with him. It wasn’t something I could manage in a few weeks or months, and certainly not as long as my actions were still fueled by fury. I needed to make a plan that would guarantee our success once and for all.

Movement near the door attracted my attention and I turned my head toward it, and a sledgehammer of emotions smashed into me.

Aria, all slender grace and long blonde hair, stood between her sisters. My eyes lingered on the dark shadows under her eyes, on the way her cheekbones had sharpened, on the way her dress hung from her body. Guilt crashed down on me but I squashed it. I had no reason to be guilty. She was the one who had betrayed me.

“Only on paper, that’s all, my ass,” Matteo muttered.

I tore my gaze away from Aria, steeling myself. I went over to the dining room table and took my usual seat. Matteo took his seat across from me, regarding me like I was about to lose my shit. If he didn’t stop the constant hovering soon, I would lose my shit on him.

After a moment of hesitation, Aria sank down beside me, and her sweet flowery scent flooded my nose.

She didn’t touch me, and I didn’t reach for her either.

Gianna sat across from me with a look of complete hatred. I stared back at her, giving her the full force of my Capo scowl, and eventually she looked away. I was done being tolerant. I was Capo, and I’d fucking act like one.

When Romero and Lily had taken their seats as well, Marianna came in with our food. She pursed her lips at me but didn’t say anything. We ate in silence for a while. Aria had barely touched her food, nor drunk any of her wine. Her hands shook as she held her fork.

I wouldn’t let her manipulate me into feeling guilty.

ARIA

Shortly after dinner, I had to excuse myself and stumbled into one of the guest bathrooms to throw up. Romero joined me a few minutes later. I was kneeling on the floor, arms propped up on the closed toilet lid and cheek resting on them.

Romero crouched beside me, voice soft. “Tell him, Aria.”

“He will think I want to use the pregnancy as a way to guilt him back to me. I won’t do that. I want him to return to me out of love, Romero.” My voice broke and tears sprang into my eyes.

Romero regarded me silently. This time he didn’t tell me Luca would come around. He straightened and held out his hand. I let him pull me to my feet and washed my hands and rinsed my mouth.

Holding my head high, I returned to the living and dining area but only found Lily and Gianna, huddling close together on the sofa.

“They went into the lounge to drink Scotch,” Gianna muttered.

“Oh,” I said quietly.

Despite my tiredness I stayed in the living room for as long as possible, hoping Luca would join us, but he didn’t and eventually I walked up to our bedroom and lay down. I wasn’t sure how much later it was when I heard the creak of the door. Turning around, my eyes found Luca’s tall form, and hope swelled in my chest.

“Luca?” I whispered.

He didn’t say anything, and I turned on the light. He was rummaging in the drawers and pulled out sweatpants before he turned to leave.

“Aren’t you going to stay?” I asked, hating how my voice shook.

His shoulders tensed under his shirt. He didn’t turn around as he spoke in a hard voice. “No. But I can fuck you if that’s what you want?”

I sucked in a shaky breath. “Don’t do this.”

Without another word, he left and after a moment, I turned off the lights with trembling fingers.

The next time he spoke to me was during breakfast the next morning, to inform me that we would be required to attend Senator Parker’s Sylvester party together. He returned to New York after that.