Chapter 30 - Losing Control, Again

Once Robert and Greg arrived at May's, they went in the house through the back door, Greg carrying the bag of beer.  They immediately froze when they found May and Georgie still in the kitchen.  Robert saw Greg clutch the bag a little tighter but thought he did a good job pretending nothing was unusual.  It didn't seem to matter, May was too preoccupied to notice.

"Oh, good you're back," she said distractedly while she sliced tomatoes and put them on a plate.  "Georgie, why don't you take Robert out and introduce him to everyone?"

Robert and Georgie looked at each other with pained expressions.

"Um, are you sure you don't need me to help get the rest of the stuff for the hamburgers?" Georgie asked May nervously.

"No, I can handle this and besides, you don't want to be stuck in here.  I'd hate for you two to miss out on any more of the party."

"Okay," Georgie said defeatedly, and gave him a sad look.  Robert knew exactly how she felt.

She headed for the back door, her shoulders slumped.  Before Robert turned to follow her, he saw Greg motion towards the sitting room with his head so May wouldn't notice.  Robert nodded, then went outside.

Georgie introduced him around, making a point of not lingering with anyone for too long.  Robert smiled, shook hands, and promptly forgot everyone's names.  There were around twenty people altogether, a mix of couples and single people, all of them older.  It occurred to Robert that he, Greg and Georgie were the only young people attending this 'welcome home' barbeque.  He wondered where all of Georgie's old mates were, the ones in the photograph.

After Georgie had finished introducing him to the last person, they were walking back towards the house when an older couple came into the back garden, the woman holding the hand of a little girl who was perhaps around four or five years old with dark brown skin and large, almond shaped brown eyes.  Unlike with the other guests, as soon as Georgie saw them she waved excitedly and went to greet them right away.  Robert trailed behind her more slowly, stopping several feet before he reached them.

Georgie gave both the man and woman a hug and kiss while the little girl shyly peeked from behind the woman's legs.  She was wearing a white summer dress with small strawberries printed on it and had a red bow pinned in her naturally curly almost black hair.  Robert wasn't sure if the little girl was the couple's biological granddaughter or not because her skin was so much darker than theirs.

Georgie stepped back a little and knelt down to make herself less imposing.  "Hi there.  What's your name?" said gently to the little girl.

The little girl held onto the woman's legs and popped her thumb in her mouth as she looked at Georgie with her large brown eyes.  Georgie looked up at the couple questioningly but they just smiled at her and she looked back at the little girl.  Then she suddenly gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Zahara?  Is that – you?" Georgie asked slowly, her voice a little shaky.  The little girl nodded, the thumb still firmly in place.

"I used to take care of you!" Georgie exclaimed shakily, and quickly wiped her eyes.  "She looks exactly the same!" she said to the couple.

"We adopted her!" the woman said excitedly, looking like she'd been bursting to share the news.

"They used to be Georgie's foster parents," May said.  Robert hadn't noticed until then she'd come to stand beside him.  "I worked with Tim at the high school.  He and Terry only took in babies but after Georgie ran away from the second foster home, I called him and begged him to take her."  Robert looked at May with shock but she didn't seem to notice, still looking at Georgie.

"Her caseworker told me that since she'd run away from two homes already, if she ran away again they were going to put her in a juvenile detention center."  Then May saw Robert looking at her.  "That's right," she said bitterly.  "They were going to put her in prison.  I couldn't let that happen to her.  That's when I called Tim.  I hoped if he and Terry took her, she'd stop running away.  And I knew they'd let me see her whenever I wanted," she added bitterly, looking back at Georgie again.  Robert got the impression this had been a bone of contention.

"Getting her in their home was a godsend.  She was with them for over a month that summer while I was waiting to get approved to be her foster parent.  She loved those babies!  I know taking care of them helped her deal with – everything," she finished quietly.  Robert was too stunned to respond.

"Excuse me, Robert," May said after a moment, and went to greet the couple.

Georgie was still kneeling and talking to Zahara, pointing to the strawberries on her dress while Zahara looked at her intently, sucking her thumb.  As Robert watched them, he felt terrible.  He remembered May saying there had been problems with Georgie's foster homes, but he'd had no idea it was that bad.  Then he remembered Georgie saying, 'You get in trouble with the police when you run away from home', and how frightened she'd been that he might be arrested when he went to be interviewed by the detective.  Now it suddenly made sense.

"Dude!"

Robert turned and saw Greg standing at the back door waving him over.  He hesitated, unsure if he should leave before he'd been introduced, but when he looked back at Georgie and May, they seemed busy with their conversations.  He turned to go back to the house.

Once inside, Greg handed him a bottle of beer and they went in the sitting room, Robert taking the recliner and Greg sitting on the couch.  When Robert tried the beer, he thought it was alright, a little weak for his taste but loads better than the 'lite' beer.  While they drank, Greg told him about the swim team at Northwestern and their last season.

When Robert tried the second beer, he thought it was quite good.  And he was in a much better mood, chatting with Greg about the swim team he'd been on and the season they'd won the national championship.  By time they were on the third bottle, they were talking about whatever crossed their minds, having exhausted the swimming chat.

Some time later, the two of them were sitting silently with their beers when Georgie wandered into the sitting room, saying, "Oh, here you are.  I wondered where you two had gone."

"Yup, here we are," Greg said lazily.

Georgie stopped suddenly and looked back and forth at the two of them sprawled in their seats for a few seconds.  Then she walked up to Robert and gently took the nearly empty bottle out of his hand.  She held it up, squinting to see how much was left in it.

"How many of these have you had?" she asked, looking at him with concern.

"S'my fifth one – maybe.  Dunno," he said, taking it back from her and draining it in two swallows.

She leaned forward, putting her hands on the arms of the recliner so she could look at him more closely.  Her silky hair fell forward, framing her pale face and brushing his arms.  When he looked in her eyes, he noticed how bright the blue was.  And her lashes were so long.  Had they always been that long?  He'd forgotten how pretty her eyes were.

"I think – I should get you – something to eat," she said hesitantly, looking worried as she straightened up.

"And I think you shou' come'ere for a mo'," he said, reaching out and wrapping his arms around her so he could pull her onto his lap.  The recliner lurched and then rocked back and forth hard a few times while he held onto her.  She looked at him like she wasn't sure what was going on, then she looked at Greg.

"Greg, what did you do?" she asked, sounding angry and sad at the same time.

"Wha'?" he said from his near prone position on the couch.  "I din't do nothin'.  I just want him to know we got good beer."

Georgie sighed but didn't say anything more.  Robert could feel the tension in her body, but the longer he held her, the more she relaxed, then she leaned against him.  A minute later, she laid her cheek on the top of his head.  He closed his eyes and tightened his arms around her, burying his hands in her hair, enjoying the feeling of her warm body nestled against him.  He turned his face towards her chest and breathed deeply, smelling her.  She felt so good, so soothing, easing the terrible pain in his chest.  God, he'd missed her so much.

"Georgie, I wish –," he began, but she put her fingers on his lips to stop him, shushing him.

"Don't say anything, okay?" she said, lifting her head so she could look at him.

"But I –," he started again, but she put her fingers on his lips again.

"Whatever you want to say, you say it tomorrow, okay?" she said.  He didn't want to give in, but he suddenly felt too tired to argue with her.

"Alrigh'," he said with a sigh.  She leaned against him again, laying her cheek on the top of his head and he closed his eyes.

He was just starting to drift off when he heard a small, high voice say, "What you doing?"  He opened his eyes and saw Zahara looking at the two of them with her impossibly large eyes, her thumb already back in her mouth.

"I'm sitting with Robert," Georgie explained gently.

Zahara looked at them for a moment, then took her thumb out of her mouth, and said, "I want sit too."

"Oh, is it okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah."

Zahara lifted her arms and Georgie helped her climb onto her lap.  She leaned against Georgie and popped her thumb back in her mouth while she looked at Robert intently.  He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.  Then he began pushing with his legs, rocking the recliner for the three of them.

After a minute, Georgie began humming and then singing softly, keeping time with the rocking of the recliner.  It was a song he knew well, a lullaby his mum had sung to him.  When she finished, Robert kept rocking the recliner and after a moment she began humming a different melody.  It took a few seconds before he recognized it, and when he did, he suddenly felt awful.  It was the song he'd written for her, the one he'd given to her at Christmas called 'No Matter What'.

When he'd come home with Georgie, he'd wanted nothing more than to forget everything that had happened to him when he'd been kidnapped, especially after the hell the two of them had been put through the day they were released.  He'd been determined to put the past behind him, focusing entirely on his future and building a new life for Georgie.

He hadn't played that song once since he'd been home, nor had he ever wanted to hear it again.  It carried too many painful memories of that terrible place, and every evil thing that had been done to both of them there.  But hearing it now was even worse.  He'd written it as a promise to Georgie, that if they were separated by the bastard, he'd do whatever it took to find her.  Now it was mocking reminder that in the end, he'd ended up losing her anyway because of what the bastard had done to her, and it hurt too fucking much.

He was about to say something when Zahara said, "I 'member," and Georgie stopped humming.

"What?" she asked gently.

"I 'member you – you singed.  You singed to me."

"Oh," Georgie said faintly.  Robert closed his eyes and leaned his head back but he didn't rock the chair, hoping she wouldn't start humming again.

It had been quiet for a minute when he heard Zahara say, "Why you crying?"  He opened his eyes to see Georgie quickly wiping her eyes.

"Because you remembered me, baby," Georgie said quietly, and gave her a quick hug.

"I hungry," Zahara said, already starting to climb off Georgie's lap, not seeming to notice the effect she'd had.

Georgie laughed as she quickly wiped the last of the tears from her eyes.  "Okay!  Let's find mommy and she can help you get something to eat," she said as she stood up and took Zahara's hand.

"I'll be right back, Robert."

"Alrigh'."  Georgie was looking at him like she wasn't quite sure she should leave but Zahara started pulling her and she reluctantly followed her to the kitchen.

As soon as she was gone, Greg stood up slowly, saying, "Dude, I better go before she gets back.  I don' think she's very happy with me."

"Oh, righ'.  Good plan, mate."

"I'll be here at nine to pick you up," he said extending his hand to Robert.

"Alrigh'!" Robert said, slapping hands with him.  Then he thought of something.  "Hey, you shoul' walk home, yeah?  No driving."

"Yep, I was plannin' on it.  See ya tomorrow."

Greg left through the front door and it was quiet in the sitting room.  Robert leaned his head back and closed his eyes while he waited for Georgie.  He was surprised when she was shaking his shoulders gently, waking him up.

"Where's Greg?" she asked.

"Oh, uh, he wen' home, I reckon," he said as he tried to remember.

"He did?" she said, suddenly sounding concerned.  She straightened up to look out the front window.  "Oh, good.  His car is still here," she said quietly to herself.  Then she leaned down and looked at him for a moment.

"Robert, I think you should go to bed."

"Yeah, alrigh'."  He couldn't deny he was tired as hell.

He stood up rather unsteadily while Georgie hovered close to him.  When he took the first step, the floor tilted underneath him.  "Whoa," he said, putting his arms out in an attempt to balance himself.  Georgie automatically reached out to steady him and he put his hand on her shoulder.  He took another step but the floor tilted underneath him again and Georgie grabbed onto him to keep him from falling, holding him around his waist.  While she looked up at him with concern, he started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"I can' walk, fer some reason," he said, still laughing.

"Gee, I wonder why," she said dryly.

He threw his arm over her shoulder and held on as she began leading him to her bedroom.  He tried to walk in a straight line and Georgie held him tight around the waist, keeping him more or less steady.  When they reached the bed, he turned around, still holding onto her so he wouldn't fall and she kept a tight hold on him as he started to sit.  Before he knew what had happened, the bed had come up to meet him and he was surprised to find Georgie lying on top of him, her arms pinned underneath him, looking just as surprised as he was.

While Robert looked in her startled blue eyes, he immediately noticed how it felt with her full weight on top of him, how familiar it was.  And how silky her hair was, draped over his arms.  He felt the warmth of her body seeping through his t-shirt, going right into his chest.  Then she blinked and broke eye contact with him as she started struggling to get her arms out from underneath him.

He tightened his arms around her, saying, "No, Georgie."

She stopped struggling and looked at him with her vivid blue eyes again.

"Don' leave me," he begged quietly.  He'd been so damned lonely for so long, he just wanted her to stay until he fell asleep.

She looked worried, saying, "Robert, I don't think this is –."

"Please?" he whispered, desperately. She suddenly looked sad.

"Okay, Robert.  If you want me to stay, I'll stay," she said quietly, blinking hard a few times.

He moved a little so she could get her arms free and while she was struggling to stand up, something shiny fell out of the top of her floral print shirt.  As she straightened up, he saw a small solid silver colored heart swinging on a silver chain.  She immediately covered it with her hand and slipped it back inside her shirt.  Robert closed his eyes, pretending he hadn't seen it, suddenly feeling desolate as his chest ached unbearably.

She pulled off his trainers and socks, then helped him get settled lying on his back under the pink floral quilt, while he refused to meet her eyes.  She laid on her side next to him on top of the quilt and he turned his head away from her.

"Don't you feel good?" she asked with concern, after a minute.

"No," he said bitterly.

"Do you think you have to throw up?" she asked, sounding more concerned.

"No."

"Oh, well – that's good," she said.  After a few moments, she said, "You'll feel better tomorrow."

"I doubt it," Robert muttered bitterly.

There was moment of silence before she sighed, and then said, "Why don't you try to sleep now, okay?"

He didn't say anything and after another minute, he felt her fingers running through his hair.  He considered telling her to stop, but it felt too good.  In spite of himself, he started to relax and then began drifting off to sleep.

Just before he slipped away, he heard her whisper, "Don't worry, Robert.  I won't –."

****

As you can see, Robert is making just about every mistake possible as he turns his visit with Georgie into one giant train wreck.  I probably shouldn't say this but I really enjoy writing Robert when he's drunk.  I would love to hear what you think about this chapter.  What are your thoughts about Robert and Georgie's behavior?  What do you think is going to happen the next day?  Also, I would like to say that I don't mean to imply anything negative about the Illinois foster care system.  That part of the storyline is made up purely for dramatic purposes.  Please vote for this chapter if you enjoyed it.

I've made an author page on facebook and I encourage you to head over there and give it a like.  I'm going to be sharing additional material for Stolen Hearts and Love You Forever, plus giving teasers for upcoming chapters.  You can find it at facebook.com/AuthorKatherineGanzel