Chapter 35 - Always Fighting

While Robert walked a half step behind Georgie on the way back to May’s house, it occurred to him that she really didn’t want to go to that party – and he’d just committed them to it.  And not only that, he’d been a complete twat, practically flirting with Lauren right in front of her.

But Georgie had said he should be the one to make the decision for both of them, he thought, suddenly feeling angry.  Why didn’t she just tell her friend ‘no’ instead of leaving it to him?  And it wasn’t like he was interested in the girl.  He was just being friendly.  Then he remembered the look in Georgie’s eyes, practically pleading with him to save her while Lauren was demanding an answer.

By time they’d reached May’s, he felt equal parts guilt and anger.  When they walked in the back door, May was just finishing cleaning the kitchen.

“How was your walk?” she asked, smiling at them.

“It was okay,” Georgie said quietly, and May’s smile faltered as she heard the tone in Georgie’s voice.  She quickly glanced at Robert before turning her full attention to Georgie.

“We saw Lauren,” Georgie said.

“Oh?” May asked, suddenly looking concerned.

“She invited us to a party,” she said, and May looked surprised.

“What did you say?”

“Well, we said ‘yes’,” Georgie replied even more quietly.

“Oh – well.  That’s – good,” May said, sounding like she didn’t think it was good at all.

“Yes, I – guess so,” Georgie said.  Then she dropped her head and walked out of the kitchen.

May watched her leave, then looked at Robert with a troubled expression.  She seemed like she was about to say something and he waited, but then her face changed and she turned her back to him to resume scrubbing the kitchen sink.

His stomach sank.  It was obvious to him now.  There was something going on between Georgie and Lauren, and May knew about it.  He saw the pleading look in Georgie’s eyes again, and guilt burned through him.  He knew she was still fragile in some ways.  Why the hell hadn’t he done more to protect her?

He slowly walked to Georgie’s bedroom, feeling awful.  When he closed the door, he stood in the silence for a moment, then went to the painted pink chest of drawers and picked up the picture of Georgie with her friends.  He looked at all the girls carefully until he spotted Lauren.  She was the girl whose lap Georgie was sitting on, the one who was tickling her.

There was a soft knock and he quickly put the picture back the way he’d found it.  He was surprised to see Georgie when he opened the door.  She happened to be looking up but quickly dropped her eyes.

“I was just wondering if I could get some clean clothes,” she said quietly, looking into the room behind him.

“Yeah, of course,” he said stepping aside.

She went to the chest of drawers and he took off his leather jacket to hang in the closet, feeling even worse.  He turned and watched her as she pulled t-shirts out of a drawer, noticing the tension in her shoulders.

“Georgie, we don’t have to go to the party.”

“No.  Its okay, Robert,” she said quickly, without turning around.  He sighed deeply.  He knew she wasn’t telling the truth.

“I’m serious.  I’ll call her and tell her we’re not going.  I don’t have a problem doing that.”

“No, Robert.  It’s not fair to you,” she said, finally turning around to face him.  “You should be able to go to the party if you want to.  You might not get another chance,” she finished, repeating what Lauren had said.

He was about to say he didn’t care when she said, “I might not either,” surprising him.  He waited for her to say more but she didn’t.  He could clearly see the turmoil she was feeling in her face.

“Georgie, why don’t ya want to see your friends?” he asked gently, and her shoulders drooped.

“Do you want to sit?” she asked, motioning to the bed.

Once they were settled, she stared at her hands for a moment, then said, “It’s hard for me because – they’re all seniors.”  He was trying to remember what that meant when she added, “You know, they’re graduating from high school, going to prom, getting ready to go to college, and I’m – not,” she finished sadly, her shoulders drooping even more.  Now he understood.  They were living the life that had been stolen from her.

“I saw Lauren the first week I was back.  I – May – invited her over.  She was – she used to be my best friend.”  Robert didn’t miss the ‘used to be’.

“She was pretty much like you saw her tonight.  She asked what I’d been doing, what my school was like, what colleges I’d applied to.  I had no answers for her.  I mean, what could I say?” she asked, finally looking at him, her blue eyes filled with sadness.

“So I didn’t say hardly anything.  Then I got to listen to all the stuff she’d been doing.  After she left, I told May I didn’t want to see her anymore, or any of the others,” she said bitterly, looking at her hands again.

They were both quiet while Robert swallowed against the pain in his throat, his heart breaking for her.  For the first time, he realized that coming home hadn’t been nearly as easy for Georgie as he’d originally thought.  Until that moment, he hadn’t realized how difficult it was for her to see how her friends had gone on with their lives during the years she’d been gone.  While they were moving forward, making plans for their future, she was stuck in the past, struggling to get through each day.

“D’you want to go to the party?” he asked, after a few minutes.

“Yes.  No.  Yes,” she said in quick succession, and then she looked at him.  “I do and I don’t.  I mean, it would be nice to see everyone, and – it would probably be fun, but – I don’t want to face the questions.”

While he looked in her sad eyes, he decided this was too much for her.  He couldn’t allow her to go to the party and have to face all that.  She wasn’t ready for this.  He’d call Lauren and make up some excuse why they couldn’t go, like he should’ve done in the first place.

Then he thought how the bastard was taking one more thing from her.  These were childhood friends she hadn’t seen in years.  Once they were off at various universities, it would be difficult, if not impossible for her to see them.  And this might very well be her last chance to experience what it was like to be an ordinary teenager, at least for one night.  He couldn’t let this opportunity slip away from her, not while he was with her and able to something about it, he thought with a fierce determination.

He took her hand in his, and said, “We’ll go to the party, yeah?  Don’t worry about the questions.  I’ll make sure you don’t have to answer them, alright?”

“But – how will you do that?” she asked, suddenly looking worried.

“I’ll take care of it.  You’re not to worry about this, alright?” he said firmly, while she searched his eyes.  He could see uncertainty, she still wasn’t sure.

“You’ll have a good time,” he said more gently.  “I promise, Georgie.”  The effect was immediate.  Her entire body relaxed and she smiled at him as her face glowed.

“Thank you, Robert!” she exclaimed gratefully, and he immediately let go of her hand.

“It’s alright,” he said, standing up to put some space between them.  To his relief she stood up as well and went to the chest of drawers without saying anything more.

He suddenly felt too close to her, in the small room and walked out.  He stood in the empty sitting room, trying to collect himself.  It rattled him to see how quickly things had changed a moment ago.  With their history, it was far too easy for them to slide into being more than mates.

He had to be a lot more careful from now on, he thought firmly.  He was leaving in eight days, just a little over a week, and if he allowed himself, or her for that matter, to get closer, they were going to end up getting hurt.  He couldn’t allow that to happen.

He saw the small upright piano against the wall and went to it.  Without even thinking, he put his hands on the keys and played the first thing that came to him.  Within minutes he was far away, escaping into his music so he wouldn’t think about anything else.

Later that night, when he woke up hearing Georgie screaming for him, he got up right away.  While he held her shaking body in his arms and rocked her, he felt good.  This was one more night he could do this for her, one more night he could save her from being tortured by the bastard.

He tightened his hold on her and stroked her back, pressing his cheek against her silky hair, willing her to feel safe while he breathed in her special smell.  The more her warm body relaxed against him, the better he felt.  When she finally stilled with a deep shuddering sigh, he sighed too, knowing he’d helped her.  He waited for her to let go of him but to his surprise, she held him tightly.  He kept his eyes closed while he waited, continuing to breathe her in.  As soon as she started to pull away, he let go of her.

“Thank you, Robert,” she said while he stood up.

“It’s alright.  I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Okay,” she said quietly, and he walked back to her room.  Once he was back in her bed, he pulled the pink floral quilt over his head and turned off his mind, wanting to slip back into unconsciousness as soon as possible.

The next day, May suggested they go to the Chicago History Museum and he and Georgie agreed.  It was another journey on the ‘L’ to the center of downtown where the museum was located.  They had a good time walking through the exhibits together.  Robert enjoyed learning about the history of the city, and was surprised some of it he was already familiar with from movies, like Al Capone and the gangsters of the 1920’s.

On the train ride back to May’s, it occurred to him that the longer his visit lasted, the easier it was for the two of them to be around each other.  The awkward tension that had always been present during his first days in Chicago was a distant memory now.  After such a stressful beginning, he was glad things had calmed down.

When they returned, May asked about their trip to the museum, then Robert announced he’d go for a run, realizing he hadn’t done it once since he’d made the decision.  Georgie’s eyes widened slightly and he could tell she was about to ask if she could join him.

“That’s perfect!” May interjected brightly.  “Georgie and I can use that time before I start supper.”  Robert saw Georgie’s shoulders hunch with disappointment.

“Now Georgie, you know we talked about this,” May said, not missing Georgie’s reaction.  “We need to stick to the schedule or –.”

“I know, I know,” she said, cutting her off.  Robert immediately felt uncomfortable for causing tension between them.

“Well, I’ll go get changed then,” he said, deciding he should leave before he caused things to escalate.

When he returned from his run, he took a quick shower, then headed to the kitchen for a drink.  May and Georgie were sitting at the kitchen table and Georgie was reading from a large three ring binder while she chewed on a pencil.  Just like a few days before, there were papers and open books covering the table.

“Oh, hello, Robert,” May said warmly when she noticed him and Georgie looked up with surprise.  “Did you have a good run?”

Just as he said, “Yeah, it was –,” Georgie began frantically scooping up papers and closing books, and May interrupted him.

“Georgie, we’re not finished yet.”

“I thought we could finish later,” Georgie said, still gathering everything together as fast as she could.

“Oh, alright.”  Then May turned to Robert.

“Georgie’s studying for her G.E.D.,” she said proudly, and Georgie suddenly stopped.

“Uh, what?” Robert asked.

“It stands for the General Educational Development tests,” May said with a smile.  Georgie stood up and went to the sink where she stood with her back to them.

“Once she passes them, she can apply to colleges.  It takes the place of a high school diploma.”

“It’s a diploma for dummies,” Georgie muttered from the sink, and May turned towards her looking shocked.

“Georgie, that is not true and you know it.”  Georgie turned around to glare at them.

“It is true!” she said bitterly.  “It’s a diploma for kids who are too stupid to go to high school!”

“You stop that this instant!” May said loudly, standing up to her full height, which suddenly seemed much taller to Robert.  “There is nothing shameful about a G.E.D. and I won’t have you talking like that!”

Georgie quickly walked out of the kitchen with her hands clenched into fists and her mouth set in a grim line.

“Don’t you walk away from me, young lady!” May shouted to her back.

Robert was shocked Georgie didn’t stop because May was about as formidable as he’d ever seen her.  He knew he was seeing the woman who could control teens from the tough neighborhoods of the city, and frankly, she was a little frightening.

As he followed May into the sitting room, they heard a door slam and then Georgie’s muffled sobbing came through her bedroom door.  May slumped as she sighed deeply, suddenly seeming much smaller.  She turned towards Robert with the familiar look on her face he’d seen so many times before when Georgie had one of her meltdowns.  And just like that, the good feeling he’d had all day was gone as a heavy sadness descended over him.

“I’m sorry, Robert,” she said quietly.  “She –.”

“May, you don’t have to apologize to me,” he said tiredly.  “Or explain.  Really.”  Hadn’t he seen all this before?

“I should go to her,” she said sadly, and went to her door.  When she opened it, Georgie’s sobbing briefly filled the sitting room before it was muffled again.

Robert didn’t want to hear her crying, it was too damn depressing, but he wasn’t sure where he could go in the tiny house that he could get away from it.  After a hesitation, he went to the only place he could, out the front door.  He sat on the front step and wrapped his arms around his knees.  There were some children across the street playing a game, and he watched them, trying to figure out the rules so he wouldn’t think about Georgie.

After a while, he heard the front door open but he didn’t turn to see who it was.  Then the door closed and Georgie sat down on the step next to him.  She wrapped her arms around her knees as well and the two of them watched the children in silence.

“I’m sorry, Robert,” she said quietly, after a few minutes.

“It’s alright,” he said without looking at her.  He heard her sigh.

“It’s hard, you know?  I just get so angry sometimes.”

“I know.  It’s natural, yeah?” he said, nudging her gently with his shoulder.

“He took everything from me,” she said plaintively, and he looked at her.  She was wiping her eyes while she continued to watch the children playing across the street.  She suddenly seemed so alone in that moment, he couldn’t bear it.

“Hey, don’t cry” he said gently, and scooted closer to her so he could put his arms around her.  He could feel the tension in her body, while she held him tightly, her warm tears wetting the neck of his t-shirt.

“He didn’t take away everything from you, Georgie.  You’re free now,” he said, and she pulled away from him.

“Am I?” she asked, her vivid blue eyes darkened with pain, and his heart broke even more for her.

“I know its hard now, but you’ll get better.  You’re already doing loads better than you were a few months ago.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” she said sadly, looking at the children again and wiping her face.

“Listen to me,” he said gently, and she looked at him.  “It’s been hard for me too, yeah?  I get angry about what happened – and – sometimes I have nightmares.”  Georgie’s eyes widened.

“You do?” she asked with concern.

“Yeah, but – I try to not dwell on it, yeah?  I try to carry on.  I’m not going to let what he did to me stop me from living my life!” he said firmly.

“I guess – you’re right,” she said uncertainly, still searching his eyes.

“Georgie, we have to fight to take our lives back!” he said fervently.  “If we don’t, then he wins, yeah?”

He could see her eyes change as she considered what he said.

“Life won’t be like it was before, but I know you can find happiness again.  Please don’t let what he did to you stop you from living your life, Georgie!” he pleaded, looking in her eyes.

She looked at him intensely and he could see she was working it out.

“You’re right,” she said after a few minutes, her voice more determined.  “I have to live my life.  I promise I won’t let him stop me from getting better.  I’ll keep fighting, Robert.  I won’t let him win!”

“That’s the spirit,” he said with a grin, instantly feeling better and gave her a tight hug.

When he let go of her and she smiled at him, he could tell there was a difference in her.  She already looked stronger, more confident.  He knew she still had a long road ahead of her, but for the first time in a long time, he felt hopeful for her again.

****

Dedicated to JMackDo.  If you're not reading her amazing Dragonfly Redemption, you are missing out!  A heartbreaking story about a young man recently returned from the Afghanistan war and trying to put his shattered life back together while he battles PTSD.  Sound familiar?  ;)  It's soon to be a featured story on Wattpad!

I have to say, it feels good to finally be able to end a chapter on a more positive note!  As you can see, Robert is getting more comfortable around Georgie.  And they are finally beginning to deal with the aftermath of what they’ve been through.  But it also draws them closer to each other, which is not something Robert wants.  Will he be able to keep from getting too close to her?  What will happen at the party?

Robert plays the piano again!  I've added another great piano video in the multimedia by my favorite Robert piano playing substitute, Adrian Lee.

If you enjoyed this chapter, please consider give it a vote and let me know what you think about how things are developing between Robert and Georgie with a comment.  Also, visit my facebook page AuthorKatherineGanzel to see pictures of the ‘real’ Georgie and some possible Robert’s.  If you give it a like, you’ll get the new information I add right in your timeline!