Chapter 38 - Confessions

When Robert woke up, he knew it was late morning by the amount of sunlight streaming through the pink floral curtains.  While he laid there, he thought about the day before.  He and Georgie had managed to have a good time at the natural history museum.  It was good to see her looking happy while they explored the exhibits, surrounded by families.  He'd even been able to forget for a while he'd be leaving soon.

And that was his goal for the rest of his visit, he decided as he pulled the pink floral quilt off him.  He'd do what he could to make sure he and Georgie had good days together.  Now that he was at peace about his kidnapping, he wanted to see Georgie happy and enjoying her freedom.

When he got to the kitchen, all three women were there drinking their coffee.  While he was eating his cereal, Georgie said, "Robert, I want to go to the lake today.  Okay?"  He looked up at her, and she continued quietly, "I mean, it's your last chance to see it – really," and then dropped her eyes to her mug, but not before he saw sadness in them.

Of course Georgie didn't know he'd already seen Lake Michigan with Greg, and he decided he wouldn't tell her.  It would make her happy to show it to him, and he wasn't going to take that away from her.

"Yeah.  That'd be brilliant," he said with a smile, and then he sipped his tea to ease the pain he suddenly felt in his throat.

She was right of course, today was essentially his last day in Chicago.  His flight back to London was scheduled for the day after they returned from their trip to Niagara Falls.  But it wasn't like he was leaving Georgie forever, he thought firmly trying to make himself feel better.  They would still be mates.  They'd still be in contact with each other.  And perhaps after a while, when things had died down a bit between them, they could even plan another visit.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," May said brightly.  From the look in her eyes, Robert could tell she hadn't missed the emotions the two of them were feeling.  "If you like, I can make a picnic lunch while you're getting ready to go."

"Thank you, May," Georgie said, and attempted a smile.

"It's windy today.  It'll be cool by the water," Marianne added, gently.  "You two will want to dress for that – and take jackets too."

"Yes, ma'am," Georgie said more quietly to her mug.

When they were ready to go, Robert was surprised to see Georgie had put her hair in two loose braids, exactly the way she'd had it in the picture she'd sent him, a slight ache returning to his chest at the memory.  At least she hadn't decided to bring his denim jacket, he thought with relief when he saw her carrying a mint green fleece one.  May helped her pack a bag with a light blanket and towels, and then handed Robert a rucksack containing their lunch and bottled water.

Traveling the now familiar route to the heart of the city by train, they sat silently side by side with their bags and jackets on their laps, Robert looking out the window.  Once they left the station, Georgie led him to the public beach she'd always gone with her mum and Frankie.  As they got closer to the water, the wind picked up dramatically and Robert could hear the unmistakable roar of surf.  Georgie looked over at him with an excited smile, and he smiled back at her, feeling excited himself.

When the lake came into view, Robert was astonished, as if he really was seeing it for the first time.  When he'd been with Greg, it was a sunny day with hardly any breeze, and the water had been a still deep blue.  Today it was cloudy and the water was an undulating steel grey.  A strong wind blew across frothy white caps as far as the horizon and large waves crashed onto shore.

Marianne had been right about the air being cooler.  As soon as they set their bags down, they pulled on their jackets against the chilly breeze.  Georgie laid out the blanket and they anchored it with their bags and the bottles of water.  The beach was nearly empty, no doubt because of the weather.

"Do you want to go down to the water?" Georgie asked with a grin, wisps of hair blowing around her face.

"Yeah," he replied, and when she started taking off her trainers and socks and rolling up the legs of her jeans, he did too.

They walked to the water's edge and when a wave rolled over Robert's feet, he stepped back, shocked by how cold it was.  He noticed Georgie grinning at him before she put her own feet in the water.  After a hesitation, he stepped forward again to let the waves break over his feet.  After a minute, it didn't seem nearly as cold, but he wasn't sure if it was because his skin was becoming numb.  He bent down and put his hand in the cold water rushing around his ankles.  When he straightened up, he tasted it.

"It's not salty, is it?" Georgie asked quietly.  He shook his head but he didn't look at her.  He knew what she was remembering, and he didn't want to see it in her eyes.

He looked out at the horizon but instead of the churning water, he saw Georgie dressed in her ugly clothes, her face glowing as she described the lake to him for the first time.  'It's so big!  It looks like an ocean, but its fresh water not salty!'  That was the day she'd made him promise he'd visit Chicago, he remembered, when she didn't think she'd ever be free again.  It was hard to believe that was only six months ago.  It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Well?  What do you think?" Georgie asked.

"It's beautiful," he said with a smile.  "Really impressive."

"I knew you'd love it," she said, and then a look of pain crossed her face before she looked away.  He looked out at the roiling water again, swallowing against the pain in his throat.

They walked up and down the beach a bit, then got settled on the blanket and pulled out the food May had made for them, roast beef sandwiches, her family recipe of homemade sweet pickles, and chocolate chip cookies.

While they ate, Georgie said, "I've decided what I want to study – you know, when I go to university."

"Oh?" he replied looking at her.

"I want to be a school teacher – like my mom.  I want to teach the little kids, like Kindergarten or the first few grades."

"That's fantastic!" he said, smiling at her.  "You'll be a brilliant teacher, Georgie!"

"Thanks," she said with a shy smile.

It was the perfect choice for her, and it made sense.  He'd seen firsthand how good she was with children, and how much she enjoyed being around them.

"The thing is," she said slowly, and he when he looked at her, she was concentrating on her sandwich.  "I have to be careful – about which school I go to, I mean.  I want to get my teaching certificate in the same place – that I'm going to live.  Otherwise – I might not be able to get a job – like what happened with my mom."

Robert quickly dropped his eyes to his own sandwich, realizing what she was saying.  Georgie's mum had gone to university in the U.K., and then moved to America.  For whatever reason, she'd found it difficult to find work as a teacher because she'd gotten her degree in a country different from where she'd ended up living.

She didn't say anything more and he knew she was waiting for him to respond.  But what could he say?  He couldn't suggest she come to England when they weren't going to be together.  But if he told her to choose Chicago, it would seem like a rejection.  He felt uncomfortable while they ate the rest of their lunch in silence.

When they were finished, they sat side by side on the blanket, watching the roaring surf, each lost in their own thoughts.

"Robert?" Georgie said a while later.

"Hmm?" Robert replied, still looking out at the water.

"There's something – there's something I – I need to – confess to you," she said, stumbling over the words, and he looked at her.  He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach when he saw the worried look on her face.  "Please don't get mad at me, okay?" she pleaded quietly.  He couldn't help sighing deeply as a sense of dread came over him.

"I won't get mad, Georgie," he said, steeling himself for what was coming.

"I – I've been – I've been seeing a therapist," she said hesitantly with fear in her eyes.  He was shocked.  Why would she think he'd be angry with her for seeing a therapist?

And then it sank in.  She was seeing a therapist – now.  She'd fucking left him, and now she was finally getting the help she needed.  When she was living with him and it would've done some good, she'd fucking refused to go.  He looked out at the lake while anger boiled through him, not even bothering to try to hide it.

"I know, Robert.  I know I should've gone when you asked me but –," she pleaded, accurately guessing what he was thinking.  "It's just – I knew what it would be like!  I knew what I would have to talk about and – I just couldn't face it!  You see, I was in therapy before – a long time ago," she said sadly.  "It was after the accident and – the foster homes.  It helped but – it was so hard!  When you asked me, I just couldn't face going through all that again," she finished with her voice breaking, and he turned to look at her.  She was crying, but he didn't care.

"Why'd you do it now – if it was so hard?" he asked bitterly.

"I didn't have a choice," she said miserably, wiping her face.  "May made me go.  The truth is –."  She sighed deeply before she looked at him with embarrassment.  "Robert, the truth is when I came back here, I wasn't doing very well.  I got really depressed and I – I stayed in bed – for days."  Robert worked hard to hide his surprise as he looked out at the water again.  He'd had no idea she'd fallen apart just as badly as he had.

"After two weeks, May told me I had to go to therapy or I had to leave.  I think she knew if she didn't threaten me, I wouldn't do it."  May had been a lot less patient than his dad, Robert thought.

"I'm glad now she was so hard on me but – I was pretty mad at the time.  I've told her I'm sorry about that.  It's just – it's just one more thing – I feel guilty about," she said, her voice chocked with tears.

When he looked over at her, she was crying into her knees with her arms wrapped around her head.  Robert struggled to stay in control, feeling miserable.  After a moment, he scooted closer to her and gently pulled her to him so he could hold her.

She wrapped her arms around him, crying, "I'm so sorry, Robert.  I'm so sorry."

"I know, Georgie," he said with a sigh.  "I know."

While he held her, he looked out at the grey water feeling desolate as her tears wet the neck of his t-shirt.  It suddenly became clear to him, their relationship had been doomed even without them finding out about the tapes.  With her inability to deal with her new life of freedom and refusing to get help, it was inevitable she'd finally reach the point when she'd collapse under the pressure – and running away from him would seem like the solution.

Perhaps he should've done what May did, he thought grimly, threaten her somehow, force her to go.  But as he remembered those days, he knew his own misguided decisions had contributed to their break up.  He'd been so bloody preoccupied with getting his university applications finished, he'd put off dealing with her problems, thinking he'd have time later.  Looking back it was easy to see he should have addressed it head on as soon as it was clear she wasn't coping.  But he hadn't, and now it was too late, it was over.

After a while, Georgie pulled away, saying, "Thank you, Robert."

"It's alright," he said tiredly.  "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," she said quietly without looking at him.

Feeling the familiar heaviness weighing on him, he stood up to help her gather up their things.  Once they'd put all the rubbish from their lunch in the bin, Georgie put the empty rucksack in her bag along with the blanket and towels and they made their way back to the train station, both of them subdued.

When they were standing at a cross walk waiting for the light to change, he looked over at her.  The dark circles under her eyes stood out against her pale skin, the evidence of exhaustion caused by endless nights interrupted by nightmares, her face solemn as she gazed at nothing.  She looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

This was not how he wanted to spend the rest of his time with her, he decided suddenly.  The two of them rehashing the past over and over, filled with regrets about things they couldn't change.  It wasn't healthy, especially for her.  She needed to concentrate on more important things, like healing from what the bastard had done to her.  If she didn't, she'd never be able to move on and build a new life.

"Georgie," he said, and she looked up at him with sad eyes.  "I'm glad you told me, yeah?  And – I'm glad you're seeing the therapist.  I'm glad you're getting help."  He saw her entire body relax.

"Thank you, Robert," she said, smiling with gratitude.

"It's alright," he said, and then noticed the walk sign had come on.  He looked to his right as he stepped into the street.

Several things happened in the next few seconds but time suddenly slowed to a crawl because it seemed like each of them took place minutes apart.  He heard the sound of tires screeching sickeningly close to him and Georgie screamed,"Robert!" behind him.  More than one pair of hands grabbed onto him, and then he was yanked out of the street as a yellow taxi screeched past where he'd been just a second before.

He stood on the pavement, unable to think or move, in complete shock.

"Dude!"  Are you okay?"  He looked up to see a bloke his age, his eyes wide, looking just as shocked as Robert was.

"Yeah," Robert gasped.  Then Georgie appeared in front of him, her face so pale it was almost white.

"Robert!  Oh, my God!  Are you hurt?" she exclaimed, rubbing her hands down his arms and grabbing his hands to check him for injuries.  When she released his hands, she grabbed his face, forcing him to focus on her.

"You have to look both ways when you're here!" she cried angrily, her eyes swimming with tears.

"Georgie!" he gasped, and her eyes widened.

She threw her arms around him, hugging him tight, and began pushing him backwards until his back hit the brick wall of a building.  She pushed herself against him with her full weight, pinning him to the wall.  He didn't know how she knew to do it, but a second later the adrenaline hit him full force.  His entire body began shaking so hard, he wasn't sure his legs would have been able to hold him if it wasn't for the fact that she was keeping him upright.  He clung to her, burying his face in her hair while his legs trembled beneath him, his heart pounding in his chest.  His lungs weren't working properly, making it difficult for him draw in deep enough breaths.

"If I lost you!" Georgie cried into his shoulder.  "If I lost you now!"

He breathed in her smell, willing it to help calm him, feeling her body tight against his, holding him steady.  After a few minutes, he could feel his heart rate slow and his breathing was less shallow.

"Don't ever do that again, Robert!" she said more forcefully.

"I won't, Georgie.  I promise I won't," said into her neck while they clung to each other.

When he'd recovered enough he was certain his legs could manage to hold his weight, he let go of her.

"Georgie, thank you," he said gratefully.

"You're welcome," she mumbled, not looking at him while she wiped tears out of her eyes.  While he watched her, she seemed to be struggling to stay in control, the tears coming more quickly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, putting his hand on her cheek.

"It's just – it's just –," she stammered.  She couldn't continue but he thought he understood.  She'd jumped in to take care of him when she saw he needed it, but now that he was alright, the reality of what almost happened was just hitting her.

"It's alright.  I'm alright now," he said gently, pulling her close so he could comfort her.  "Nothing happened, yeah?"  She nodded against his chest, then pulled away, surprising him.  She wouldn't look at him while she wiped her face.

"You're right," she said firmly.  He was glad she looked more in control even though she still wouldn't meet his eyes.

"C'mon, let's go home, yeah?" he said gently, taking her hand.

"Okay, Robert," she said, letting him guide her.

They waited at the crosswalk again and when it was time to cross, he made sure to look both ways before he stepped out.  Georgie's grip on his hand was tighter until they'd safely reached the opposite pavement.  It was a quiet trip back to May's on the train, both of them still shaken.  As they walked from the station to May's, Robert didn't hold her hand, but she didn't seem to notice.

When they walked in the kitchen, May and Marianne were just setting the table for dinner.  Georgie was instantly cheerful, giving the women hugs and kisses and chatting about what a good time they'd had.  Without either of them saying anything, he and Georgie had decided not to bring up what had almost happened to him, or the other parts of the day that had been less fun.  By time they were finished eating, Robert was exhausted, and he could tell Georgie was too.

It was just as well, May informed them they would have to get up extra early the next morning in order to get on the road before the traffic out of the city was too congested.  He gratefully bid the women a good night when they got up from the table and went straight to Georgie's bedroom.  When he climbed in her bed and pulled the pink floral quilt over his head, he tried to empty his mind so he wouldn't think about anything.  It wasn't long before he fell asleep.

****

I worked hard to get this chapter finished so I could upload today, 7/19/13, for a very special reason.  One year ago today, I posted the first two chapters of Stolen Hearts and readers began Robert and Georgie's journey.  One year later on this very day, Stolen Hearts will reach 500,000 reads!  Two huge milestones for a story that is very dear to my heart.  I want to thank every person who has read, voted, commented and followed me!  Your support and love for Robert and Georgie mean the world to me!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  If you did, please consider giving it a vote and let me know what you think.  Were you surprised that Georgie suffered like Robert did when she left him?  Were you surprised by his reaction?  Did you think he was going to get hit by that taxi?  What do you think is going to happen when they go to Niagara Falls?

Dedicated to @lennwebster, a great friend and author of 38 Days, a terrific love story that is soon to be a featured story on Wattpad!  Be sure to check it out on her profile page!