Chapter 6 - Warning Signs

Robert went back in his house, rubbing his arms to warm them up. When he walked in the sitting room, his mum was sitting on the couch with her knitting, an old film playing on the TV, the volume turned low. She looked at him with concern when she saw him come in.

"Are you alright?' she asked. He tried to hold himself still so she wouldn't see him shivering.

"I'm fine, mum," he said mildly, pushing his hair out of his eyes, doing his best to look absolutely normal.

"Weren't you cold?" she asked worriedly.

"A bit. It wasn't that bad."

"Oh," she said, still looking at him like he might not be alright. "D'you fancy some tea to warm you up?"

"No, thanks. I'm fine."

"Alright." After a moment, she asked, "D'you have any plans for today?" He had no fucking clue. Oh, yeah. He did.

"I'm going out for a bit. Take a walk."

"Oh, that's good," she said sounding relieved. "It'll do you good to get some fresh air."

God, he was pathetic. So fucked up his mum was excited when he announced he was going out for a walk. They looked at each other having exhausted every possible subject they could safely discuss, and the silence was making him uncomfortable. He suddenly felt like he needed to get out of the house before the walls closed in on him.

"Well, I'll get ready then," he said, and quickly headed for the stairs, taking them two at a time while his mum said, "Alright, Robbie."

When he was in his room, he didn't waste any time locating a jumper and grabbing a pair of socks and trainers. Within seconds he had them on and was back downstairs, grateful his mum had gone to the kitchen. He could hear her filling the kettle with water to make tea. He opened the front closet to get a jacket. He looked through all the jackets hanging in there but he couldn't find the one he wanted, the one he felt like he needed at that moment.

—-Then—-

"We're going to the shops, mum. D'you need anything?" Robert asked his mum while she sat on the couch with his dad.

"I can't think of anything. D'you need the keys to the car?"

"Nah, we'll walk there."

"We're walking?" Georgie asked, turning towards him suddenly, her eyes wide.

"Yeah," he replied, pushing his hair out of his eyes to see her better. She looked shocked.

"Outside?" she asked, and he couldn't help laughing.

"Yes, Georgie! Outside. I've been locked up for over two months. I want to go for a walk!"

"But it's cold out there," she said quietly, sounding concerned.

It suddenly occurred to him she was frightened. His heart broke for her all over again, and then he felt a murderous rage towards the bastard for doing this to her, for fucking her up to the point where the thought of going for a walk outside scared her. He went to her and put his arms around her.

"Well, then we'll just have to find you a warm jacket, won't we?" he said gently. "I can't wait to show you around a bit. This is where I grew up, y'know?" It worked, she smiled shyly at him

"I'd like that, Robert," she said quietly.

"Alright!" he replied with a big smile, happy he'd overcome her fear.

He looked in the front closet for a jacket for her. He saw some jackets that were his sisters and he almost took one of them, but then he saw his denim jacket with the black hooded sweatshirt he always wore underneath it – his 'lucky' jacket.

It was an old jacket, probably over thirty years old. It had been his dad's when he was young. Robert had found it years ago, when he'd been just barely big enough for it to fit him. He'd started wearing it because he liked how it looked, adding the sweatshirt when the weather turned cool and the jacket wasn't warm enough on its own.

He'd worn it exclusively during the season his swim team made it to the nationals the first time. They didn't win that year, only placing third, but it had seemed like a miracle they'd made it that far. When the next swim season came, he'd worn it exclusively again, more as a lark, but they'd made it to first place. He'd retired the jacket that day, putting it away in the closet since he wasn't planning on swimming competitively again. He decided he wanted Georgie to wear it. It was like a miracle that he had her home with him, just as much of a miracle as winning a national championship.

He pulled it out of the closet, saying, "This is a very special jacket, Georgie."

Her eyes got big. "It is?"

"Yeah, it's my lucky jacket." He put it on her, zipping up the sweatshirt and fastening the buttons for her while she smiled shyly at him. It was big on her but she looked adorable in it.

"It'll keep me warm, Robert. I can tell," she said quietly, her face glowing. He couldn't help giving her a kiss.

—-Now—-

Robert had carefully looked through all the jackets hanging in the closet and still couldn't find it. Then it occurred to him that she'd probably hung it up in the closet in his bedroom if she'd worn it up there before she took it off. He was about to go upstairs to get it, when he stopped suddenly. What the hell was he thinking? What the fuck was wrong with him? Was he really going to wear that jacket after she'd been wearing it almost the entire time she'd been living with him?

He found another jacket, one he hadn't worn since before he'd been kidnapped, and pulled it on. He called out, "I'll see you, mum," and walked out the door, not waiting for a response. He knew he should've taken the time to give her a proper goodbye, and the familiar guilt ate away at him, but he couldn't bear to be in the house another second. This was why he'd spent three weeks in bed either sleeping or with his mind turned off, he thought grimly. She'd fucking invaded every part of his life so there was nowhere safe he could go now. He practically didn't even own an article of clothing that hadn't been tainted with memories of her.

He didn't care where he was going as he walked, he just put one foot in front of the other, his mind turned off while he looked at the ground in front of him, his hands shoved in his pockets. He'd been walking for quite a while when he decided he was tired and ready to go home. He started back, still looking at the ground, his mind turned off.

After a bit, he had to stop. The way ahead was crowded with mums holding toddlers by the hand or pushing prams. He'd inadvertently walked the route that passed by his old primary school. He realized he'd been walking so long, it was afternoon now and the school was about to let out. He shoved his hands in his pockets and wove through the crowd, keeping his eyes on the ground, trying not to see the children.

—-Then—-

Robert put on a jacket, then gave his mum a hug and kiss goodbye. When he stepped outside with Georgie and closed the door behind them, he paused for a second, wanting to savor the moment he was about to take his first walk with her. He lifted his face towards the sun and took a deep breath of the cold air. It felt really good. Then he looked over at Georgie. She smiled at him and then turned her face to the sun and took a deep breath mimicking him. He tried not to laugh as he took her hand.

Robert had grown up on a fairly quiet street of two story homes, but a short distance away were busier streets with shops and restaurants. The pharmacy they were headed to was just a twenty minute walk from his house. As they walked down the street, he pointed out the homes of mates and told interesting bits of information about them. Georgie looked all around, taking it all in but not saying much as she smiled happily and listened to his stories.

When they turned the corner, they approached the primary school he'd attended as a lad. It was afternoon now and the path ahead was filled with mums waiting for their children. Some of them were pushing prams or had younger siblings by the hand. As they got closer, the young pupils began pouring out, most of them wearing rucksacks on their backs.

Robert was about to tell Georgie he'd attended school there when she suddenly stopped walking and squeezed his hand like a vice. He looked at her with alarm, pushing his hair out of his eyes. She was staring at the scene ahead with her intense wide eyed gaze.

"What's wrong, Georgie?"

She moved closer to him, pressing against him. "They're so – little," she whispered as she looked at the crowded scene.

It never ends, he thought with despair, and his heart broke for her all over again. She hadn't seen children in years. They stood there for a moment while he collected himself, swallowing against the pain in his throat. When he started walking, Georgie pulled him back to her.

"Can we stay? Just for a minute?" she pleaded quietly.

"Yeah, sure."

They stood watching as mums and their children left for their homes. The mums passing them, eyed them curiously. Robert smiled and nodded as they walked by, hoping they weren't alarmed by the intense way Georgie was looking at their children. Then he glanced at Georgie and was relieved to see her expression had changed. She was smiling as she watched the children as well.

One mum had a pram with twins in it and after she passed, Georgie beamed at him and said excitedly, "Two babies, Robert!" She looked so beautiful in that moment he put his arm around her waist to pull her to him for a kiss.

"Ready?" he asked her, once the crowd had dispersed.

"Yes," she said, smiling happily at him. He led her by the hand again and they walked past the school. They'd been walking for a few minutes in silence when Georgie spoke.

"Robert?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think –?" she asked quietly. He waited but she didn't continue.

"What, Georgie?" he prodded.

She sighed deeply and said even more quietly, "Well, I know I'm too young – but – if I was –." She didn't continue, but something about the way she said it made him stop walking and turn to her. She wouldn't look at him.

"If I was – you know – pregnant." she continued quietly, and then looked at him like she was afraid of what his reaction would be. "It wouldn't be – too horrible – would it?" she asked, almost pleading. He tried hard not to show any emotion, not wanting to upset her.

"I mean – it would be – our baby – a part of each of us," she said quietly. "It would be – beautiful – wouldn't it?" As he looked in her blue eyes that were begging him, he desperately tried to think of something to say.

Finally, he said firmly, "We don't know if you are or not, Georgie. I don't think it's a good idea to talk about this until we know, yeah?"

"Oh, okay," she said quickly, looking away. "You're right. I'm sorry. I should've thought about that." He was dismayed, he could tell he'd hurt her.

"Don't apologize, he said gently. "You were just trying to prepare us. I'm sorry I said it like that," he said, pulling her to him for a hug. "I shouldn't have talked to you that way." He kissed her on the forehead, wanting to make her feel better. They resumed walking, but the silence between them suddenly seemed too full of unsaid things.

"Y'know I went to that school when I was little," he said, looking for a distraction.

"Really?" she asked, and he told some funny stories from when he'd been a pupil there.

When they walked inside the large pharmacy, Georgie's eyes got big. Shopping was another first for her. He let her lead him down each aisle so she could look at everything on the shelves, the entire time pointing things out to him in an excited voice, "Shampoo! Magazines! Pens, Robert!" as if it was his first time shopping too. He didn't say anything, not wanting to hurt her feelings again by making her think she shouldn't be so excited. He was surprised one of the aisles had small appliances including a coffeemaker.

"What d'you think, Georgie? Shall we get this?" he asked her.

"Can we?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Course we can," he said, laughing. When he picked up the box and put it in her hands, she beamed at him, her face glowing. It made him happy to be able to make her so happy.

They found some filters and ground coffee in the small food section. Then they went to where the condoms were. Of course, the pregnancy tests were there too. He read the backs of all the boxes and chose the one that would be the easiest for Georgie to use, and promised the quickest results.

When they made their purchases, he was glad they had more things to buy than just what they'd gone to the shop for. It had been a few years since buying condoms was embarrassing for him, but it was an entirely different matter buying a pregnancy test at the same time. He felt uncomfortable and avoided eye contact with the cashier when he made their purchases.

They walked home, hand in hand, Georgie beaming beside him, chatting excitedly about her coffeemaker. But the closer they got to home, the more Robert thought about the test, and the worse he felt. The whole way down the last street, he was praying she wasn't pregnant.

As soon as they were home, she wanted to make coffee straight away so they set up the coffeemaker in the kitchen and she started a pot brewing. Then he took her by the hand and led her upstairs, no longer able to wait for her to take the test. They went in his bedroom, closing the door and he read over the instructions out loud, wanting to make sure she didn't make any mistakes.

When he'd read through them for the third time, she was thoroughly annoyed with him, saying, "Yes, Robert! I understand how it works!" and took the stick out of his hand, leaving for the bathroom before he could say anything else.

When she returned, they sat on the edge of the bed next to each other, their bodies so close they were touching, looking at the stick together and waiting. Georgie's body felt tense next to him, and he put his arm around her. When she looked up at him, he gave her a reassuring squeeze and she smiled a small smile before she looked back at the stick. When the allotted time had passed and the second line never materialized, Robert let out a huge sigh of relief. He suddenly felt like he could breathe again.

Georgie smiled, saying, "I'm glad, Robert. Babies are a lot of work. It would've been really hard for us. We're too young right now." He gave her a tight hug, grateful she hadn't secretly been hoping for a baby.

"Right! We have plenty of time ahead of us to start a family, yeah?" he said happily when he released her.

—-Now—-

As Robert walked around the corner, heading back to his house, he remembered those words, and the ache in his chest grew worse. He'd thought they had their whole lives ahead of them to do all the things he'd looked forward to, going to school, getting jobs, getting married, buying a home, starting a family. And now, before they'd even had a chance to begin really, it was over – she'd left him.

When he got back home, he went in the kitchen to get a glass of water. His mum had left a note, letting him know she'd gone out. He was relieved. It took away the pressure of having to pretend he was normal so she wouldn't worry about him. Once he finished his water, he went up to his room. He thought about lying in his bed and pulling the covers over his head. After all, who would know? He could leave his door open and get up the minute his mum came home. But then he wondered if he'd really be able to do that. It was possible he wouldn't be able to force himself to get out of bed once he'd gotten into it.

Then he thought about how thin he'd looked in the mirror when he'd had his bath. He looked in the corner of his room near the foot of his bed and got the weights he'd bought after he'd been freed. He pulled off his jumper and t-shirt and started his work out routine, trying to exhaust himself like he used to in the flat.

He was nearly finished, when his mobile started vibrating and he froze, suddenly feeling alarmed. He didn't want to talk to her. He couldn't. There was no way he could survive it. He was barely keeping it together as it was.

He cautiously walked up to where his mobile was on the bedside table as it vibrated, still holding his weights. When he looked at the display he was relieved, it was Joey. He picked it up and answered it.

"Hey, Joey."

"Robbie?"

"What's up," he said, suddenly worried Joey might have bad news about the job.

"I was wondering if you want a ride tomorrow. I'm back at my parents' now." Joey's parents lived not far from him.

"Yeah, that'd be great. What time?"

"Seven?"

"Alright, see ya then."

Joey ended the call with "See ya, Robbie."

He was surprised. The last he knew, Joey had still been living at his old flat with the other band mates. He wondered when he'd moved back home. He realized he'd been so wrapped up with everything that was going on with her he didn't even know his best mate from his old band had moved back to his neighborhood. How many more mates had he lost touch with?

It was good he was riding with Joey, he thought firmly. It was time move on, just like his dad said, start picking up the pieces of his old life. That was where his future lay now – and the thought suddenly filled him with despair. He put the weights away at the foot of his bed and sat down on the edge of it, putting his head in his hands, feeling the desolation descend on him again.

Get a grip, he thought and looked around for something to do. If he didn't find something quick, he wasn't going to make it to dinner before he gave up and climbed back in bed. He saw his laptop. That would eat some time, he thought. He got settled on his bed and opened it up, logging onto the internet. He looked at some of the pages he usually went to, but none of them interested him.

Then a thought came into his head and within seconds, he was at Google Maps. He pulled up a map of the United States and zoomed in on the west coast. The state of Washington was at the northernmost part of the States and he zoomed in as close as he could. He started scrolling slowly through the map, working his way south along the coastline, carefully checking each building that was on the Pacific Ocean.

He wasn't exactly sure why he was looking for it. It wasn't like he was planning on doing anything when he found it. But when he did, at least he'd have proof his prison really existed. And he'd have proof his special relationship with her had really existed too – because that was the only proof he was ever going to have.

****

Big sigh of relief, Georgie isn't pregnant!  Were you convinced she was, she wasn't or weren't sure?  But there's still that other crisis Robert will have to deal with at some point.  And do you think he's going to find the bastard's lair?

You can tell me what you think about how things are going so far!  And please vote if you liked this chapter!

Dedicated to louloufritz.  A great friend who happens to write really sweet romance stories.  Be sure to check them out!  :)