sixty one

"for some a prologue,

for some an epilogue."

"Lia?"

I looked up from the numerous Polaroids spread out in front of me and saw Mason standing in the doorway, eyeing me.

"Hey," I smiled, rubbing my eyes tiredly. I could barely keep them open. "What are you doing up so late, Mase?"

He shuffled forward and plopped down beside me on the floor in his Thor pyjamas. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

I narrowed my eyes before ruffling his bedhead. "Sure," I said.

It's not Mum and Dad, I thought. No hushed, angry voices from downstairs. They hadn't had one of their fights for weeks now, now that I thought about it. It made my chest swarm with a warm feeling. Dad had said he'd work on it. He was keeping his word for me. And for Mase and Helen.

"How long will you be gone?" Mason asked in a murmur as he leaned against my arm.

So that's what this is about, I thought. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Don't know. But it's not like I'll be far."

"You'll be in England." He was pouting. "That's so far away. Just like Luce is."

"Nope." I shook my head. "I'll be just a call away actually."

"But you won't be here."

I smiled at him fondly. I couldn't even count how many times we've had this conversation--ever since I told him and my whole family that I'd be moving in with Luce, which Luce had been a little too ecstatic about. I'd be staying with her until my university in London started. And then I'll move into the dorms, much like Alastair would.

It had been a tricky decision. Luce wanted to know why I couldn't stay longer with her in Oak Valley. Mum too. That town held a special place in my heart, much like this one--the one I was born in--but Oak Valley wouldn't be a new start for me. Or for Alastair especially. And he needed one. A new start.

"It's not like I won't come here to see you, Mase." I pulled him closer, tucking my chin over his head. "Every year, I promise. And you can come there to visit me too."

"But I'll miss you." God, he was pouting again.

I grinned. "And I'll miss you."

"Then you don't have to go. Not tomorrow. That's too soon."

I licked my lips and glanced over at the Polaroids spread out in front of me. Too many memories. The smile slowly fell away from my lips. "I have to go, Mase," I murmured. "I need to do this for me." And for Alas.

Mason sighed. "Fine. But you'll call me every day." He waited until I nodded in agreement. "And I can come here into your room whenever I want."

Geez. I rolled my eyes, smiling anyway. "If you want, sure."

"And you'll send me pictures."

"Of what?"

"Of where you'll go." He answered.

Of where I'll go. To see the world. I had a gap year before I started my first semester. And since Alastair wasn't necessarily falling behind either, he'd agreed to go on this trip with me. A road trip maybe. I had some spare money that I had stashed away for just this moment. And Alastair's aunt had been eager enough to pay for the rest of our trip only if we both visited her in Oak Valley first. To make amends, I didn't know. Hence, why I would be staying over at Luce's in the first place.

"We should go to Paris." I had said to Alastair one night as we lounged in his apartment, watching a movie.

"What's there in Paris?" He asked then.

"The Eiffel Tower?" I suggested and smiled cheekily which he may have not seen since he was a little busy trying not to fall asleep, and my back was pressed against his chest, all cosy. "And it's a romantic city."

His warm breath fanned against my skin as he chuckled. "Right." Then he placed a chaste kiss right there, his fingers curling around my waist. "Am I not romantic enough for you?"

I hummed in thought. "Or we can go to Romania. I want to see Transylvania and Dracula's castle."

This time he muffled his laugh against my shoulder. "Paris or Romania. Noted."

I smiled at the memory and saw Mason picking up one of my Polaroids. He smiled at the picture of Milo, and it was a little endearing how his hair stuck up in every corner. "Can I visit Milo sometimes?" He asked me.

"Of course. He'll still be at the studio with Andrea. I think he'd do good with a friend like you."

Mason's smile widened but a yawn broke it off.

"Come on, bud." I ruffled his hair again and gathered up all my photographs. "Let's head to bed. Got a long day tomorrow."

I didn't sleep much the whole night, tossing and turning on my bed. In the end, afraid that I'd wake Mason up who was sleeping right beside me, I settled on my back and fixed my gaze up at the dark ceiling of my room.

The moon was fully hidden behind the clouds so there wasn't much glow of it in the room. It was just dark.

And I found myself thinking again.

Alastair and I hadn't really talked at all about what happened back on the night of the Gala. I think there wasn't any way to speak about it and not make it sound...horrifying. So we hadn't talked about it at all.

Then my finals had neared and I got busy with my face buried in different sorts of textbooks. I'd sometimes go to the town library and Alastair or Nora would accompany me there. Other times, I'd spend some time with Alastair in his apartment as he helped Andrea out with her paintings.

Days had gone by and once my finals finished, graduation came up. I surprisingly did well in all of my exams, and it was exhilarating and a little sad both to be leaving college. And not too long after, this little town too.

It was a relief when I got accepted into one of the England Universities I'd applied to. And like I had planned, I'd be studying medicine there. Alastair got into a university a few towns over solely on his swimming scholarship. Swimming was something he was still sure of, and that was happily relieving too. Not all was in ruins, impossible to be fixed again.

The only thing I was a little tense about was stopping by Oak Valley. I think Alas was too. His aunt had given detailed statements regarding the Hawthornes a few weeks ago and had disclosed all the secrets buried in the past. No more darkness behind the closed mansion doors. Things were settling down there, Luce had said. They had identified the body as Cassius's. And they were going to hold a proper funeral for him. One where he would finally be recognised. Alastair's twin.

We'd reach the funeral in time. I hoped we did. I wanted it to be a part of Alastair's closure.

I wanted him to believe in it. That he deserved some closure too.

******

"Mum, you're fussing," I told my mother.

"But you'll be late to the airport!" Mum exclaimed.

"Carol, calm down." Dad seemed amused.

"And where's Alastair?" Mum asked me. "You'll both be late!"

Oh dear God, I thought. I heard Helen snickering from the porch stairs.

Leaving my family by the porch and the front door, I walked towards the empty, newly cleared, part of our backyard. Mum's rose bushes were gone and it felt weird to see the empty soil. All that was left there was a newly grown plant. My hawthorns.

I smiled and kneeled down on the grass, looking at the tiny white buds spread all around the green leaves. Like specks of snow. They hadn't grown well at first, but some help from Mum got them upright again.

And I adored them. Maybe it was the fact that they hadn't died yet, which happened with every plant I cared to grow. Or maybe, perhaps, it was just them. Hawthorns. Those flowers will always hold a special place in my heart.

The sound of a car pulling up in our driveway made me peek up from the small green leaves. It was Alastair, getting out of the car, hair tousled along with the wind as he passed my still-fussing mother and my decently not-fussing father a smile from over the hood.

I picked up a fallen white flower from the soil and stood up, dusting off my knees.

"Lia, come along now!"

Time flew by as Dad and Alas busied themselves with loading the luggage in the car. Helen lounged on one of the garden chairs and Mason played around with Milo--who had apparently come along with Alas too.

"Mum, it's fine. We won't be late." I reassured her.

"Why can't I drop you off at the airport too?" She asked me.

"Because you've got to be at the shop." I reminded her. "Your clients with the big wedding, remember?"

Mum seemed to remember and sighed, pulling me in a big hug.

"Besides, you'll be coming there at Luce's anyway before I leave for uni." I hugged her back. "And I'll see you really soon."

She relaxed at that and nodded, giving me a watery smile. My own eyes widened. "Mum, you are not going to cry. You cried at the Gala! Then my graduation. Every time it feels like I'm dying or something."

Mum laughed at that, whacking my arm. "It does feel like I'm marrying you off to someone."

I groaned. "For fuck's sake, Mum."

She whacked me on the back of my head this time. "Language."

I rolled my eyes and picked up the last of my bags, walking towards the car. I glanced over at Alastair halfway there as he leaned down to ruffle Milo behind his ears, and looked up at Mason. "You'll drop him off at the studio?"

Mason seemed ecstatic at that. "I will!"

I picked up the first bag, nearly dropping it at how heavy it was. With a huff, I placed it in the car. Someone stepped behind me and I turned around to face Alastair. He had a hand in his hair, pushing it back from his forehead as he looked around. My heart tugged at the small upward curve of his lips.

"How did it go with your mum?" I asked him before picking up the second bag. When he saw what I was doing, he took it from me.

"Okay." He shrugged, leaning over my shoulder to place it beside the first bag. Then he looked at me. "It went okay. I...said my goodbyes. Ma still thinks I'm Cass."

The smile slowly fell away from my lips. Alastair had decided to go visit his mum one last time at The State Psychiatric Hospital. He didn't exactly tell me what he'd say to her. I think he hadn't known either. Not until he saw her. Which he had.

He reached out and softly brushed a strand of my overgrown bangs out of my eyes, giving me a sad smile. "I think I'm fine with that. She's not strong enough, not anymore, Ophelia. And I want her to be happy." He told me, then sighed. "That's what Cass would've wanted."

I nodded, smiling again. She'd still be here. Alastair will see her again. Then I nudged his shoulder. "You're pretty stronger than you give yourself credit for."

He gave me a genuine smile this time. "Not more than you. You kept it together when they said I was dead."

"I almost broke apart." I winced at the memory.

His hand lingered at the side of my face before he leaned forward to press his lips on the top of my head. "Yet you didn't." He murmured.

Nora showed up not too long after, squeezing me into multiple hugs and promising me that she'd see me real soon--which I didn't have a doubt about since Nora had been enrolled into the same university as my own. Only that she wasn't leaving right now, unlike me.

I even managed to tackle Helen in a hug, which she wasn't too keen about, when Dad reminded me that we had exactly twenty minutes to catch up to our flight.

By the time we got in the car Alas had rented out to drive us at the airport, saying our final goodbyes once again, I sagged into my seat and watched as my house disappeared amongst the trees.

"I've already started missing them," I told Alastair as he drove.

He glanced at me and smiled. "I'd consider you an idiot if you didn't."

That got a lazy laugh out of me since it was still too early in the morning and I had barely gotten any sleep last night. I reached out my hand towards his, watching as he slid his fingers over my own. Then I held on tight.

"It'll be okay," I murmured, feeling my heart race a little. Then I slid my other hand into my pocket and took out the tiny hawthorn I'd picked up earlier. I leaned forward and placed it on the console between us.

Alastair glanced over and I felt his thumb running over my knuckles. "It will be."

"As long as we do this together," I added.

He smiled. "Yes. Together."

"No matter what."

He tugged our hands on his lap, laughing softly. "That too."

"And--"

"Ophelia," he cut me off. When I looked over at him with a questioning frown, he added, "I love you."

I sagged back against my seat.

"And I'm yours." He said right as I parted my lips. A tiny smile spread on my lips. My heartbeat wasn't racing anymore. "And you're mine." He stretched out, eyes on the road, but with the playful, carefree smile.

"This is random." I pointed out, the little tension slipping away from inside me. Maybe he knew what he was doing.

"You're anxious." He shrugged, raising our entwined hands and placing a soft kiss on my knuckles. "And I'm one of those perfect boyfriends, remember?"

I chuckled at that, relaxing fully this time. He was right. I was anxious. I was anxious for what waited ahead of us. But I was excited too. I looked over at Alastair and the way his dark hair swept along with the wind, his beautiful grey eyes focused on the road, his hand holding onto mine.

I was happy. And I couldn't wait.

As long as he's with me, I thought.

"I love you too," I told him in a soft whisper.

His eyes found mine, the grey in them gleaming under the sunlight. Happy. And free.

I'll always love you.

-------

sixty one is such a weird number to end a book on.

Crystal Xx.