30. Edward Or Jacob

When in front of her apartment's door, Elisa freezes. She wouldn't have come here if she had another place apart from the umbrella academy. But she also doesn't feel up to wander around in houses of strangers, breaking in. Yet, how will she be able to stay here without Mor?

A rather loud meow is heard behind the door, and this makes Elisa chuckle softly. It's Francis. At least he's still here. Would he have missed her? Would he miss Mor?

A shuffling sound sounds, too, behind the door, making Elisa frown. That can't be Francis. When footsteps are audible, Elisa knows it can't be Francis. Someone is there. She clenches her jaw, and makes fists, ready to fight if necessary. It can't be the handler, she thinks sourly.

"Francis, don't do that!" a voice says, and Elisa her hands unfold again. In shock, she even takes a step backwards. Jude. It's Jude.

Not everything changed, Elisa thinks, smiling in relief. Not everything changed.

"The cat spills his water every single time." Lucas' voice sounds. "How long do you think it'll take 'til he realizes that spilling his shit water won't bring his two moms back? Damn it, cat."

"Stop complaining, Luc." Jude giggles. "Now, clean that up, will you?"

"Nope," he protests.

"Not even for me?"

"You know my soft spots," Lucas mumbles, making Jude giggle again.

Elisa her eyes widen. Some things did change between her friends, it seems.

This time, she doesn't doubt to open the door. It flies open, cracking softly. Jude, Lucas and Francis their heads immediately turn to look at Elisa, and Francis doesn't hesitate to hurry himself to his owner.

The sad smile on Elisa her lips grows as she bends through her knees to open her arms for him. He happily accepts this gesture and jumps up, resting his front paws on her knees. A purring sound comes, making Elisa actually sob. Oh, how she missed him.

"You're back," Jude whispers in astonishment. "Sam, you're back!" she repeats herself a little louder this time our of happiness. An enormous, happy smile lights up Jude her face even more. She stands up, leaving Francis his kibble for what it is.

Lucas, too, smiles. "We've missed you, Sam," he admits, standing up, too. "But Francis missed you even more." He points at the silly cat that is now smelling Elisa. His tail starts to wiggle, smelling the strange, new smells that come off Elisa.

"I'm back," Elisa whispers softly. It's hard to realize so, though. Being here without Mor seems so . . . lonely. And yet, Elisa is not alone. No, she's got Lucas, Jude and Francis here. Plus, David and Tess would be here, too, if Elisa asked them to come. They'd come immediately without ever knowing what Elisa has gone through. And Elisa can't tell them, either. They should never know. No, Elisa will spare them from such a horror story.

"I hear quite a lot has changed." Elisa smiles, taking Francis fully in her arms. For a moment, the cat protests, but he stops doing so quickly. He doesn't mind the weird smell anymore. His owner is back, and that's all what matters to him. "Between the two of you . . . I mean."

Immediately, Jude her face reddens. She doesn't dare to look at Lucas, but he nods loudly.

"You didn't expect that, did ya?" He laughs happily. "Believe me, I didn't, too. But it appears when one is falling, it's hard to get up. Especially for that one there." He points proudly at Jude, who's still very, very red.

"Oh, Sam." She hides her face behind her hands. "I wanted to tell you while drinking a cup of tea, or something! You didn't have to find out this way." This makes Elisa chuckle. It's strange to be called Sam again. She hasn't heard that name in a long time, and when she did . . . it was Mor who called her so.

Elisa her stomach curls—or whatever it does, it makes Elisa feel horrible. But she pushes this feeling aside. "I'm happy for you two." She smiles. "Truly, Jude. I'm glad some of us have happy endings." Okay, this sounded too sour, too broken. "I mean . . . Never mind. I'm sorry, guys. Shouldn't have-" Elisa stops, noticing the sad expressions on her friends their faces. Both smiles have drooped completely. "I am glad you two fell so hard." Elisa forces herself to smile again, hoping none of her friends will bring up the subject that is called Mor.

"Sam," Lucas starts after noticing that Jude can't do so. "Did you have any luck?" He doesn't have to add more. Elisa knows very well what—or actually who—he's talking about.

Still, her eyes widen. She wasn't prepared to talk about Mor to her friends. No, she only needed to get out of the Umbrella Academy. What is she supposed to say now? She doesn't have a story to tell them! But she can't tell them the truth. No, they wouldn't be able to proces it.

That's why Elisa shakes her head, her eyes flickering to the ground. "I didn't find Mor," she whispers quietly. "Not a trace."

A silent gasp leaves Jude her lips, and it doesn't take long until Lucas his arms are around her. This lovely gesture makes Elisa want to hide under a blanket again. Five would've done that to her, too. And yet, she wouldn't allow him. She couldn't. To. Keep. Him. Safe.

Thinking back of Five makes Elisa frown. Why didn't the two react to her eyes? Surely they're still burning?

Slowly, Elisa places Francis on the ground again, planning to look into the mirror. Francis meows once, and then, he goes to eat his kibble.

Before Elisa can even take even one step, Lucas gestures for her to come, too. She wants to. God, she wants to accept the hug, but what if her friends get creeped out by her eyes. Still, shouldn't they have already?

Carefully, Elisa approaches her two friends. She can't react more than smiling when Lucas and Jude curl their arms around her. Jude has her head pressed to both Lucas and Elisa their chests, and Lucas his chin leans on Elisa her head. It's a huge difference, but Elisa is used to this. Her friends.

It's only when a tear slips down her cheek that Elisa realizes that she needed comfort after all. She needed a hug so badly. And now she's getting so much comfort, and yet, she finds herself longing for Five.

"Thank you," she whispers, and her voice breaks while doing so. "Thank you," she repeats herself, now sobbing.

Lucas his arms curl a little tighter around her, and Jude looks up at her friend. A sad smile comes onto her lips, and she frees both Elisa and Lucas. She then rests one hand on Elisa her cheek while the other hand intertwines its fingers with Elisa's. Still sobbing, Elisa can't help herself but to lean into the touch.

"You've got us," Jude whispers. "Always."

"Always," Lucas whispers, too, closing his eyes. "I can't even start to think through what you've been through, Sam. You don't need to tell us anything. We don't need to hear it. Your presence is enough already."

A sad laugh escapes Elisa her lips. "Thank you," she says again, but it feels as if she has to thank them a hundred times more. They deserve it.

"Pizza again?" Jude asks, surprising Lucas and Elisa.

For the first time, Lucas frees his grip on the two a little, so he can look at his girlfriend. He frowns at her, and so does Elisa.

Jude smiles softly, looking at the two. "We're obviously not leaving you alone," she tells Elisa, making Lucas smile, too. "So what's for dinner? And do you want the others to come, too?"

"I don't want to ruin their day." Elisa sighs, taking a step backwards, pulling herself free from Lucas his arms.

Hoping to reassure Elisa, Jude squeezes Elisa her hand softly. "Well, I think they'd be happy to see you, too. And we can all be depressive together."

"That's a good quote," Lucas remarks, smiling again. "Let's all be depressive together."

Elisa allows herself to chuckle. "Can you call David and Tess, then? I've got no idea where I left my phone. Stupid device."

"You truly live for danger, huh?" Lucas laughs, cocking his head to the side.

"You've got no idea," Elisa mumbles quietly. Nobody heard her. Good.

-

Time flashes in front of Elisa her eyes, and she doesn't even realize it. Together with the four, she practically devours the pizza Jude ordered, and then, the tough choice of choosing a movie falls on her. While Tess and Lucas want to watch a Twilight movie, Jude and David want to go for some other movie that Elisa didn't bother remembering the name of after hearing that there'd be killing and blood in it.

"Twilight," Elisa says, pointing at the television. "All the way." Not all the way, but some vampire romance is better than blood spatters, so Elisa decides she can hear her friends simping for Edward and Jacob some more.

"Sam," David groans as he playfully slaps Elisa her arm. "I did expect you to be at my side!"

"Sorry, bud," Elisa chuckles. "I'm afraid I'm at no one's side here."

"What?" Tess her lips part as she turns to look at Elisa.

"'Cause I'm going to change clothes. I can't be at anyone's side 'cause I'll be in the other room." Elisa can't help but let her smile grow even more. "These clothes are fine af, but I do want to be more comfortable."

Lucas rolls his eyes dramatically. "That wasn't even close to being a good joke, Sam." he tells her before aiming one of the pillows at her.

"I'm still not good at jokes," Elisa complains as she dodges the pillows. And she does so without a problem. Even when the others start to bombard her with pillows, too, she dodges those without hesitation. "Hey!" She throws one back. It hits Lucas right in his face, making him groan.

"Always a pleasure throwing shit at you," David chuckles, throwing the last pillow on the seat. Just to pleasure him, Elisa lets the pillow hit her in her stomach.

"Continue if you want to be killed." With that, Elisa turns her back on her friends. She smiles until the words she just said sink in. Her lips part in disgust. She could never kill her friends, right? She would never want to . . . They're her friends.

When Elisa is going through the closet she shared with Mor, she finds herself squeezing into Mor her favorite hoodie. She wants to wear it; something of Mor. But a voice in her head tells her that she doesn't deserve it. Well, at this point she doesn't deserve anything anymore, the voice adds. Shaking her head, Elisa ignores the voice. She might not deserve it, but she needs it. Surely that counts a little?

She grabs the hoodie, and puts it on. Not being able to help herself, Elisa her fingers caress the piece of clothing. It was hard to lie to her friends about Mor. After lying about everything to them, she thought this would be a little easier, but it was everything but. It was hard.

And now she's going to have to watch Edward declare his love to Bella again and again and again. All that while her own love life is a true mess. Mor is dead. Five is at the Umbrella Academy—Elisa hopes that, at least. It is possible that he is not. Who knows where he can be? After all, now that the handler is dead, the end of the world is no longer, he has a whole life in front of him. He can do whatever he wishes.

Groaning, Elisa closes the closet. She sent him away. She shouldn't be thinking about him. It isn't fair. It's even selfish to do. Especially since him being away is saving his life. He needs to stay away.

"Sam! If you're not here in three seconds, Jude will have eaten all the popcorn!" It's Lucas' voice. Amused, Elisa chuckles softly.

Five'll have to stay away. He must, if he wants to grow old. He can't be in love with a living bomb, a monster. But then again, isn't she putting Jude, Lucas, David and Tess in danger, too? And they're humans without any kind of power. They're easily killed. Determined not to think about her friends' mortality, Elisa hurries herself to them.

"I'm here," she announces as she jumps in the middle of Jude and Lucas. Then, her eyes widen, realizing that she disturbed the two. "Don't worry." She smiles. "I'll just sit there."

Jude thanks her friend quietly as she snuggles right in Lucas his arms. In awe, Elisa puts her thumbs up, making all the others laugh.

The movie starts the moment Elisa covers herself with a soft blanket. Hoping to get sucked into a fantasy world for a few hours, she concentrates on every detail, trying to block Jude her complaints out. It's the same as always, really. Just like Elisa, Jude has read the books multiple times, but she is the one friend that can't stop complaining about the differences. Other times, Elisa would do so, too, but it's been too long since she has read one of the books, so she can't even remember the scenes that aren't in the movie.

"It means if you were smart, you'd stay away from me." Elisa takes in Edward his words. For a moment, she even lets herself think of Five . . . again. If he was smart, he'd stay away from Elisa, too. Perhaps it would've been smarter if Elisa did tell him the details of what happened; why the handler wouldn't hunt them down. But she couldn't. Not then, and maybe not ever. Maybe Vanya told him already. If so, Elisa is sure that he'll stay away.

And yet, she can't help but imagine him coming back to her.

Selfish, she mentally reminds herself. That's selfish.