Chapter 20

"Are you really going to go out like that?!"

"Shut up, Hamilton, what do you know about fashion?" Thomas felt a bit of his old self coming out every time they quarreled like that. "Let's look at your outfit – oh my, do you know we're are going to a party and not to a funeral?"

"Fuck you!" Alexander shouted right before going to change his black dress into something more colourful.

"I love you too!" Thomas giggled from his room.

In front of him, reflected in the full-size gold-framed mirror, stood a tall man dressed in a long bright red velvet coat; its sleeves and high collar were decorated with golden patterns, and it had the usual puffed cuffs. Beneath the coat he wore a slightly darker shade of breeches and waistcoat, white stockings and elegant dark shoes. His new walking stick completed his eccentric outfit.

"It will be difficult to lose you in the crowd tonight," Alexander joked, entering the room again.

"Now that's a dress!" Thomas caught a glimpse of him through the mirror and turned to admire his boyfriend.

He was now wearing a short light blue coat with matching waistcoat and breeches. The fabric was simpler and lacked of elaborate decorations, nevertheless Alexander was stunning – the colour of the dress highlighted his beautiful blue eyes, which appeared even wider and more expressive than usual.

"You know that Madison will wear black as usual, right?"

"I don't care. You're my guest and I won't let you in my carriage dressed like a chief mourner," Thomas insisted. "Also, if you wear this blue one I won't be able to take my eyes off you and flirt with the ladies."

"You've got a point," Alex laughed. "All right, I'll wear this one."

They got into the carriage and sat silently for a while. Despite his cheerful mood, Thomas was nervous about their meeting with Madison – what if he opposed their relationship? He wouldn't give Hamilton up so easily, he was sure of that, but what if James was intransigent? Alexander, on the other hand, seemed much more confident, he was fidgeting on his seat with an excited look on his face – he just couldn't wait to put all that Madison situation aside and enjoy a good party at last.

"Thomas, it's going to be all right!" Alex put his hand on Thomas's trembling one. "Trust me."

Thomas didn't answer but kissed Alexander's hand and held it until they arrived.

"Shit, how can you people have such huge houses?" Alex almost yelled when he got out of the carriage, making some guests look at him with snobbish stares. "It's even bigger than Monticello!" He added low, only for Thomas to hear.

"Madison is one of the richest men in Piedmont," Thomas whispered back. "Now, let's go find him, maybe we'll be able to talk with him before dinner."

They walked the cobbled street that led to the main entrance together with some other guests; they were all elegantly dressed and Alexander mentally thanked Jefferson for forcing him to change clothes. The inside of the house was full of people who were laughing and chatting, drinking cider and wine, commenting on the house or other people's outfits. Thomas stopped several times to shake hands with old friends or eminent people, always introducing Hamilton in a gentlemanly, yet very aloof, fashion – in the eyes of those people they hated each other. Thomas clasped his walking stick, the one Hamilton had given him for Christmas, and nervously scanned the crowd from the top of his six-feet-two, looking for James.

"Thomas, Mr Hamilton," Madison's voice called them from a hallway on the left. He was looking at them with emotionless eyes. "How nice to see that you've accepted my invitation."

"James," Thomas gave him a smile that disappeared before reaching his eyes. "Can we talk?"

"Mr Madison," Hamilton nodded. "Nice party."

Madison ignored Alexander and looked straight into Thomas's eyes for some moments – he must have been satisfied with what he saw, because he smiled slightly and gestured them to follow him into his study. Once the door closed, he turned to face them with a very serious countenance. Alexander opened his mouth to speak but Thomas placed a hand on his shoulder, silently asking to speak first; Alex looked at him, nodded and took his hand. James's eyes warily went from Thomas's hand on Hamilton's shoulder, to their faces, to their interlaced fingers, and back to Thomas, who started explaining everything.

James had learnt long ago how to read every single expression on his best friend's face; they were so connected than very often they didn't need to talk in order to know what the other was thinking – that was why they were a dreaded couple to battle against in the Cabinet. This time, however, Thomas had to talk – he said out loud everything he'd felt for Hamilton from the first time he'd seen him ("I instantly despised him more than everyone I'd even known") to the present moment.

"I feel like I'm breathing again for the first time since Martha's death, James," he concluded. "You were there and you know how I suffered. The grief had never really gone away, but now I'm finally able to think of her with a smile on my lips."

"I can see that." James was deep in thoughts, there was quite a lot for him to process. "Thomas I can see that you're honest, you've always been, but I'm your best friend and I don't want you to get hurt – how can you know that he's not just acting out a role to manipulate you?"

"He would never –

"Cut the crap, James!" Alexander was done waiting for his turn to speak. "You know me, we'd been inseparable before Jefferson came back. How can you even think that I'd be able to do such a thing?"

"You're a skilled politician, Hamilton." James was still very doubtful. "Sometimes I wonder how much would you risk to ensure your precious legacy."

"I remind you, James," Alexander snapped, "that I've got wife and children. When Thomas and I started it, we both knew that we could have been hanged if one of us had talked – you see, that's not something one would do so lightly, except for the fact that I would rather die than spend the rest of my life without Thomas."

When he finished talking, Madison and Jefferson were looking at him with shocked faces. Thomas was startled because he'd never heard Alexander professing their love in such passionate words – as usual, Hamilton only needed a confrontation to become the best orator ever. Meanwhile, Madison had been struck by his complete honesty.

"All right then." James quickly recovered from the surprise and turned to Thomas. "What about the check stubs Burr gave us last summer? Are you not disgusted by the fact that he'd been using the Government's money for his own benefit?"

Alexander immediately turned to Thomas, shooting him a withering look.

"Burr gave it to you?" He hissed.

"He didn't know?" Madison asked, dismayed by Hamilton's reaction.

"As I told you before, we've agreed that we need to respect each other's secrecy when politics is concerned," Thomas sighed. "So, no – he didn't know it was Burr who gave us the check stubs."

"That damned son of a –

"Anyway, Alexander, would you like to show James that you're not guilty of what Burr accused?"

Alexander almost threw the diary to Madison, muttering something against Burr that sounded very much like 'should've punched him more', and waited while Madison carefully scanned every page of his check records.

"The summer of last year, while we were discussing the details of our agreement concerning the banks and the US capital," Alexander started to explain, "I had an affair with... a married woman." He cast a quick look to Thomas, who nodded approvingly. "But then, her husband found it out and they started blackmailing me."

"You can see now, James, that he's never used other money than his own to pay this 'gentleman' and his wife; this means that our accusations were unfounded."

Madison closed the diary and took off his glasses, looking at both of them with a preoccupied face. He gave the book back to Hamilton and cleared his throat, coughing a bit.

"Well, I can see that I have all the reasons to trust you," he finally admitted. "But it doesn't mean that I'm not keeping an eye on both of you – if I discover that you're fooling me, I'll denounce you as traitors."

"It won't happen," Alexander stated convincingly.

"We won't let our relationship influence our political ideals and our work," Thomas concluded. "We're both serving our nation before anything else."

"I'm happy to hear that." Madison hesitated a moment. "Thomas can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course." Thomas turned to Alexander, every trace of anxiety now gone from his face, and winked. "See you in a minute, love."

"Time to get the party started," he grinned and left them alone.

James got up from his chair and slowly walked around the desk, placing his hands behind his back as he did every time he was worried, and finally stopped in front of his best friend.

"Thomas, I really admire what you two are doing in order to stay together," he begun, "but how long do you think it'll last?"

Thomas didn't answer. That was another reason why he'd been so nervous about talking with James – they'd always told the truth to each other, even the times when the truth wasn't something pleasant to hear.

"You've managed to leave politics out of your relationship so far and that's impressive," Madison went on, "but that's not about politics, and I think you both know it. It's about your beliefs, your way of thinking – maybe the banks were only a minor thing for you, maybe Hamilton will continue tolerating your ideas on slavery; but at some point something bigger will happen and you'll be forced to face all the things that you've been ignoring about each other."

"I know."

"I'm really sorry, Thomas, it's just that I don't want to see you hurt again."

"You're a great friend James," Thomas reassured him. "You only gave voice to what I already knew, and I think Alexander knows it as well – but right now, we don't care about our differences, we simply love each other."

"I hope it'll last. I haven't seen you so happy in a long time." Madison patted his friend's back. "Now, let's go enjoy the party."

***

Thomas found Alexander talking heatedly with John Marshall, one of the few federalists from Virginia – he was already surrounded by a small group of ladies, who were hanging off his every word. Maybe he shouldn't have told him to wear the blue dress, he wasn't the only one who kept being distracted by his beautiful eyes now.

"Mr Jefferson, look, I've finally found someone who's worth talking with among all you Democratic-Republicans," Hamilton teased.

"Mr Marshall," Thomas greeted him, ignoring Alexander's comment. "Ladies," he bowed, casting a tantalizing smile to the female company.

"We were talking about the French Revolution," Marshall explained him. "I've lately received a letter from a friend of mine, telling me that it's getting quite a bloody matter."

"My dear Mr Marshall, that's absolutely impossible – and even so, the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants," Thomas stated passionately. "The French are led by high ideals, we'll be craving their democracy in a couple of years."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Hamilton cut him off. "The only thing we'll be seeing in France is anarchy."

"Only because the people are leading, it doesn't mean that they won't be able to govern themselves," Thomas retorted. "But, of course, your sympathy lies with King Louis XVI, we all know about your monarchic tendencies –

"Come on, gentlemen! These are not things to be discussed now, in front of these beautiful ladies," Mr Marshall tried to stop them, knowing that Hamilton was ready to argue back. "Mr Hamilton, I know you're a great dancer, why don't you invite Miss Dashwood for a dance?"

Alexander smiled through gritted teeth and politely invited the young lady to dance, turning his back to them and leading her towards the neighbouring room, where a small orchestra was playing a quadrille.

Dinner was served in another room, where several long tables had been elegantly set. There was so much food Alexander couldn't believe his eyes: the first course consisted in soup, fish, and then turkey, ham, rabbit, hare and even wild fowl and venison; the second one started with casserole, pies, fricassee, puddings and ended with vegetables. Then, the table cloth was removed and desserts appeared: there were fresh fruit, cheese, nuts, creams, jellies, sponge cakes, compotes, sweet gelatines, and more. Every course was accompanied by beer and cider, wine and distilled spirits. By the end of the dinner, many people were tipsy and everyone's stomach was full. Alexander had been sitting next to Mr Marshall and, at the end of the supper, they headed to the ballroom together, chatting and laughing. Alex spotted Thomas right away – his crimson outfit was the boldest in the whole room. He was dancing a reel with a woman Alex didn't know. He stood there for some minutes, admiring Thomas's elegant figure following the cheerful rhythm of the music and wishing they could dance together.

When a cotillion started, he joined the dances with Miss Dashwood once more, placing himself next to Jefferson – since it was a four-couple dance they would be dancing together. Well, sort of.

"What are you doing?" Thomas hissed at him right before he swapped places with his lady.

"What do you think?" Alexander whispered back as they exchanged a bow with the ladies and turned to move again. "I'm dancing with you."

"You're dancing next to me," Thomas corrected him with a sigh – he'd already understood what Alexander was distressing himself about.

"Well, that's the best we can do right now," Alex shrugged and then smiled to his lady, offering his arm to her and spinning slowly.

The song eventually came to an end and they bowed to their partners, clapping their hands. Miss Dashwood, despite being Alexander's dancing partner, shamelessly winked at Thomas before going away, and Alexander turned to him with his arms crossed and a frown on his face. Thomas didn't even notice it and grabbed his elbow, gracelessly dragging him away from the dance floor.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Alexander grunted as soon as Thomas stopped.

"Do you see the red curtain on the other side of the room?" Thomas asked quietly.

"Yes. So what?"

"I happen to know every inch of this building, and behind that curtain there's a small guest room," he explained, while pretendeding to look at the couples dancing. "Wait until this song's over and then go there, there's quite a crowd tonight and I think you won't be noticed."

"What about you?"

"I know another entrance, so that no one will suspect of us."

Alexander's eyes lit like the ones of a child who's up to no good, and nodded with a grin. Thomas abruptly turned and walked away.

The couples were dancing a minuet now and everyone was looking at them, admiring the prettiest girls or commenting on some gentleman's dance moves. Alexander nonchalantly moved to the other end of the room and leaned on the wall right next to the curtain. As the last notes faded away and the couples bowed, he slipped into the room and looked around – the small room was half-lit by a fire that was cracking and popping in its fireplace; on the other side of the room there was a single bed filled with pillows and a large closet near it; in front of him, a door opened and Jefferson came in.

"Do you want to make out here?" Alexander joked, moving next to Thomas and taking his hand.

"Sort of," Thomas played along. "What about a dance?"

In the nearby room the orchestra had just started playing a jig and, since there was only a curtain separating them from the world outside, the music could be perfectly heard – and danced. Thomas stood in front of him and bowed, an amused smile on his face.

"Why do I have to be the lady?"

"Because you're a better dancer than me, I bet you can do all the ladies' moves without missing a step," Thomas flattered to convince him.

Alexander thought about it for a moment and then bowed at Thomas, sticking his tongue out before taking his arm. The song was a slow romantic one, and they danced in small circles, as if they were flirting through the music; Thomas's eyes never lost Alexander's, nothing had changed from that first time when their gazes had met – he could still read him like an open book, his emotions were written so plainly on his face that no words were needed. In that moment, Alexander's eyes seemed to repeat the powerful words he'd said to Madison some hours before: I'd rather die than spend the rest of my life without feeling love. And Alexander's love was all for him to have – Thomas couldn't be luckier. When the song ended, instead of bowing, he took Alexander into his arms and kissed him tenderly. Outside the room, people were starting to cheer and wish each other a happy new year.

"This year together will only be the first of many. I'll never give up on us, I promise." Thomas smiled. "I love you, Alexander."

"I love you Thomas," Alexander whispered softly, love permeating each word.

***

A/N:

Yay, I can't believe I've already written 20 chapters! So, the story is NOT finished yet... there will be big changes in the next chapters!

Thank you so much for your support and for all your comments, they mean the world to me.

Happy New Year to everyone!