CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Luke Dawson P.O.V

Pain.

Hurt.

Heartbreak.

Emptiness.

Failure.

Darkness.

Even these words aren't enough to describe the emotional trauma I am going through right now.

The love of my life has once again slipped away from my hold.

I don't know for what sins I am being punished for this cruel way. The feeling of lossing the person who is the sole reason for your survival to someone else, is terrible!

Four years of happiness, four years of hope, four years of feeling complete have just gone down the drain beacuse of the return of one f*cking person! Kyle Redmond.

Today, when I opened my heart out to Paisley, I felt as if she would definitely realise I am the one for her and not Kyle Redmond, but I was wrong. Terribly wrong!

Seeing her walking away from me into a house that wasn't mine was extremely hurtful. From the past four years I have dreamt of the day when she would walk into my house calling it her home.

I want her badly! She is like the drug that has kept me going until now. I don't know whether I'll be able to cope with this intense heartbreak again.

Moving on from her is just next impossible for me, but I'll try. I'll try because she asked me to, I'll try because she says I deserve to be happy even if it is with someone else, I'll try because she says I have the right to have a family of my own. Though, all this is very hard for me, but I will give my all to it because she wants me to, because she wants to see me happy. So, I will give full respect to her choice and do what she say's, even if it kills me every single second!

I would give away anything in this world if I could have her with me.

I would agree to all her conditions, even if she said she would not want kids with me and just want Noah, Ryder, her and I together as a family, our family. I would agree to it without wasting another breath!

But none of this will happen now. She is gone! And I would like to believe that, she is gone for good!

I entered my house with my eyes burning with unshed tears. I feel lifeless, I feel as if each and every limb of my body is ready to collapse with my collapsing life.

Certainly dying wouldn't hurt as much as this.

I felt giving her time to cope with the hell she was put through, would help me. I wanted her to start healing with time and then take the first step to our dreamt relationship, but I waited too long! I f*cking wasted the the four golden years of my life!

Waiting has only caused me another horrible heartbreak. I might be sounding like a girl right now, but I don't care and neither do I mind. I want to let go of all these emotions and feel free....

Feel free and concentrate on my life without, Paisley. A life without her isn't worth living but I have to.

At this moment I have an extremely strong urge to hurt Redmond! I want to tear him apart limb by limb and make him suffer, but I won't. I won't because he is the one Paisley loves, because he is the one she will spend the rest of her life with, because he is the one who is the father of her children.

So, even if I want to torture him and want him gone, I won't. I won't because I love Paisley too much to hurt her, I love Noah and Ryder too much to take their father away from them.

Dragging myself to the bar in my living room, I picked up a bottle of scotch and forced myself to reach my room.

After entering, I collapsed on the bed. Opening the alcohol bottle and took a big gulp feeling it burn down my throat.

Believe me this burn is nothing compared to the burn inside my chest, it's not even close.

More than half way through the bottle I set the tears free. The tears of heartbreak and hurt ran down my cheeks continuously.

I fished out my mobile from my jeans pocket and called Ace.

After a couple of ring he lifted the call.

"Hello?" Came his voice from the other end.

"She's gone, Ace! She's gone forever!" I said and left more tears escaping my eyes.

"WHAT!? What are you talking about? Is Melissa alright? I spoke to Nick an hour back and he said she was doing better." Ace said sounding extremely concerned. Of course, he would think I am taking about Mel with the current situation.

"Mel's fine, nothing has happened to her. It's Paisley! She's gone from my life... I can't ever have her now. I lost her, Ace. I lost her again!" I said in my slurry voice.

"Paisley? What happened to her? And why are you sounding like that? Tell me in detail, mate." He spoke calmly for the other side.

I told him everything from the day of Mel's accident till I confessed my feelings to Paisley all in detail.

"Why me? Why is it always me? I love her so much! I just simply can't function without her." I said and blinked my teary eyes.

"I know man, I can understand. But this is what was meant to be, probably. Look, your love for her is something none of us have ever doubted, but the main point is she never thought of you more than as a bestfriend. All this has come to such a point, that now, there is no turning point. You have to let her go!" Ace said.

"But I can't! I can't let her go! What do I do!? I can't just forget her like this." I said and rested my head again the headboard taking another gulp of my almost empty scotch.

"She has a family to take care of, Luke. She just can't do what you want her. If, your admission of love would have happened before Kyle entered the scenario, then you would have had a fat chance, but that is not the case. It's entirely different, even if you go climb mountains for her now, nothing can be done. The only option for you now is to move on. To move on and set her free, to move on and find a reason to live, to move on and being the search for the one who will be by your side for the rest of your life, to move on because Paisley wants you to. If you truly love and care for her, Luke, you will do what she says and start living." Ace said.

"It's hard!" I answered.

"Of course, I know. It will be hard for you, but you have to. Nobody is asking you to do it right away, take your time, recover form all of this and do what is needed." Explained Ace.

"Do I really have to? What if I just prove to her that, I am worthy of her time and love? I don't expect her to love me back, but atleast I'll have the satisfaction to know that, she is with me, beside me forever." I tired to counter his explanation.

"That would just cause both of you immense pain. A relationship without love is dead! It will never be successful. Right now, this might be looking like a prefect thing to do, but trust me you will regret it in the end. Atleast this way she is present in your life as a friend, but if you do that, both of you will lose each other forever. After all this, all that will be left is regret and sense of loss. The sense of loosing out on an amazing human being from your life." Ace replied.

"I'll try then, I have already lost the chance of having her as my life partner. I don't want to lose out on the chance of having her as a friend in my life. I'll try and I'll do it for her." I replied gulping down the last contents of my drink.

"Good. Good choice, brother. All of us are here and we all will support your decision. After all, it's made for the best." Ace replied.

"I hope so, Ace. I hope so." I said and cut the call.

My talk with Ace made me realise that, I have to move on without regrets in my life if I want mine and Paisley's friendship unharmed.

I will do what is required and will do it beacuse this is what Paisley wants me to do.

..........................

Kyle Redmond P.O.V

The bell rang around 8 in the evening resulting in me to rush towards the door.

Since, the time Paisley has left the house, I have had this extremely nerveous feeling in my gut about her meeting with Dawson.

I hope that Paisley will make the decision of not leaving me. If she does, I have to make sure to threaten her about the boys to ensure that she does not leave me.

I opened the door hoping it would be Paisley.

"Hey, babe!" I sighed in relief seeing it was her.

"Hey." She and moved inside.

"All good?" I asked after following her to our room.

"Yep." She replied and slumped down on the couch.

"Want to freshen up first and have dinner later?" I asked and sat closely beside her.

"I want to talk to you first." She said making my heart hammer inside my chest.

All sorts of negative thoughts ran through my mind making me anxious.

"Ya, go ahead." I said unsure.

"So, today I had talked to Luke about everything you had mentioned yesterday. You were right, Kyle, you were right about all of it. Luke, does love me....." She said and my heart jumped in my throat so I cut her off.

"So what? So what, Paisley, if he loves you!? Even I love you, and I love you like insane, more than any man in this f*cking world can! I am also the father of your children, remember that! That thing alone, should be enough to prove all my points!" I snapped at her due to the fear of loosing her.

"Wow! You didn't even let me complete and went all alpha male on me! I suggest you listen first and then start talking. What I was about to say was before you rudely cut me off was that, even after Luke's admission of love for me, I can't be with him. I just can't! I can't see Luke more than as confidant in my life, I can't spend the rest of my life with him. That is because of you, Kyle. That is because I have come to realise that no matter what, I can't be with another man than you in my life. Sure, you are the father of my children but you aren't only that, you are the man that I care about immmensly, Kyle. You are the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, you are the one I see my future with now, you are the person who means alot to me and most importantly, you are the man I love, Kyle. It's you that I love not anybody else!" Paisley said holding my hands in her small ones.

My eyes were as wide as saucers. My Paisley loves me! My wife loves me! The mother of my two adorable boys loves me and only me!

"Y-you... y-you are se-serious?" I asked like an idiot in disbelief.

"Yes. Yes, I am absolutely serious. I love you, Kyle. I love you and only you!" She said and gave me a loving smile. Her eyes this time held the same old affection, care and admiration they held for me before. They were the same emotions I was longing to see until now.

"You have no idea how happy I am right now, baby! I just can't express the joy I am feeling. It's absolutely incredible! Thank you, my love, thank you for trusting and loving me again. You are my world, Paisley! I can't live without you. I love you so f*cking much!" I said and pulled her onto my lap.

"I love you too, Kyle. I love you too!"She said and held my face in her hand.

I just smiled and pushed her more closer to me if possible. Slamming my lips onto her I kissed with burning desire in me. I kissed her with so much passion that I was afraid I would loose control.

She kissed me back with the same desire. This kiss wasn't only about affection. It was about the desire, lust, passion, longing and love we had for each other. I pushed my tounge inside her mouth and explored it as per my will. Our tounge danced rhythmically together.

After a few mintues of passion she pulled away but I didn't stop. I kissed her cheeks, the corner of her mouth, her jaw to her long inviting neck.

Making my way down to her neck I took my sweet time, I nibbled, licked, kissed her soft spot, resulting in her to moan.

"Kyle." She moaned breathlessly tightening her grip onto my head pulling it close her neck.

I smiled against her neck and continued with my assault leaving multiple marks on her.

After I knew she couldn't take it anymore I pulled away only to see her cheeks as red as a tomato.

Resting my head against her forehead I waited till both of our breaths calmed down.

"I love you, babe."I said and pecked her swollen lips again.

"I love you too, baby." She replied and hugged me incredibly tight.

Finally things are alright and back on track. Now, it's my duty to ensure nothing can ever destroy it.

...................................

Hey Babies!

Luke is really heartbroken, he needs sometime to heal.

Paisley finally told Kyle she loves him. *squealing with joy*

She Was Broken Beyond Repair was on number 18 in the romance what's hot list form 30th May 2016 to 2nd June 2016.

A heart felt thank you to all my readers who have given this book immense love and support.

So, the book is going to come to an end soon. *wiping away tears*😢😢

Please share your opinions about the chapter and book with me. I really look forward to them.

I hope you liked it.

Kindly vote, comment and share.

Until next time:)