Feeling shocked, I sat in the back seat of Aoifeâs car and stared up at the Kavanagh house, debating my options.
Should I go inside?
Should I wait out here?
Should I curl up in a ball and pretend I wasnât here?
Was his mother inside?
Was his father there?
I was mortified over what happened Friday, and while I had been okay when we were together at the pub and the cinema, Iâd spent the last two nights lying awake and drowning in humiliation over throwing up in front of Johnny.
I was thrown off kilter by this boy, and being in his personal space was something I didnât know how to handle.
I wasnât sure I could handle my feelings for him.
My thought process was interrupted when two pairs of enormous yellow paws slapped against the window.
Startled, I swung my gaze to find two identical looking dogs with bright pink collars staring back at me, whining loudly, with their mouths open and tongues lolling to one side.
Without thinking twice about it, I slid Joeyâs seat forward and climbed out of the car.
The second my feet hit the gravel, I was assaulted with kisses and yodels as both dogs tried to climb my body.
âHi, guys!â I reached down and rubbed them both.
My affection only seemed to rile them up because one of the dogs jumped at me, her paws slapping hard against my chest.
âWhoa.â
Losing my balance, I collapsed on my arse with a loud ooof.
The minute I was grounded, they both dove for me, slobbering all over my face and neck.
Laughing, I tried to duck my face, but it was useless, because these dogs were persistent with their loving.
What I failed to notice in the car was that both dogs had clearly rolled in cow dung lately because not only were their coats matted with mud, but they reeked so bad.
After a fruitless battle to stand up, I ended up on the flat of my back on the rain-soaked gravel, as they sniffed and pawed at me and basically licked every inch of exposed skin.
âYouâre a friendly pair,â I snickered, giving up on any attempt to escape. I could feel the damp seeping into my clothes, but I made no move to get up.
I couldnât if I wanted to.
âHi,â I laughed, grinning up at the one who had decided my stomach was the perfect home for her butt.
She had her paws pressed firmly on my shoulders as she licked at my face.
âYouâre a lovely girl, arenât you?â I cooed, as I ducked and dodged a tongue to the mouth.
It was pretty pointless considering the other one was standing by my head, fighting for attention.
âCareful,â I warned the one by my head. âMy face is tender.â
âBonnie! Cupcake! Get off her,â a familiar voice ordered from nearby, but neither dog listened.
Instead, they seemed to up their efforts of loving me into a canine coma.
A few moments later, a pair of hands hooked under my armpits.
Startled by the sudden contact, my limbs locked tight of their own accord as I was lifted clean off the ground.
Johnny set me down on my feet, and then quickly pushed me behind him as the dogs lunged towards us.
âNo!â he ordered. Keeping an arm around me, he held out the other in warning. âBonnie,â he growled. âYouâre a bad girl.â His eyes darted to the other dog who was creeping closer. âCupcake, donât even think about pulling that shite.â
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a tennis ball and waved it in front of the dogs, capturing their attention instantly.
âYeah, you see that, donât you?â Johnny coaxed and then flung it across the yard.
It landed somewhere out of sight and the two dogs bolted after it.
I took the opportunity of his momentary distraction to pull my hair tie out and drape my hair over my left shoulder, concealing the side of my face from his view.
âSorry about them,â Johnny said once the dogs were out of sight. Turning to face me, he gave me a quick once over and grimaced. âJaysus, they destroyed you.â
I was so stunned from the sight of him, so completely unsure of what to do or say, that it took me a few moments to clear my head and register that he was speaking â to me. âHuh?â
âYour clothes,â he explained, gesturing up and down.
I looked down at myself and bit back a groan.
Yep, he was right.
I was destroyed in a combination of mud, rain, clumps of hair, and dog slobber.
âOh, ah, yep.â Mortified, I attempted to wipe my hands on my navy tracksuit pants, but the drool stuck to my fingers. âYes, I am,â I offered, forcing a small laugh, when all I wanted to do was dive into the back of Aoifeâs car and vanish.
âSorry about them,â Johnny apologized, looking a little embarrassed. âThose two are feral.â
Shaking my head, I exhaled a heavy sigh and said, âNo, itâs okay. I didnât mind. Bonnie and Cupcake are very cute.â
âBonnie and Cupcake are very untrained,â Johnny corrected with a grimace. Shoving his hands into the pockets of the grey sweatpants he was wearing, he added, âTheyâre my Mamâs dogs. She treats them like theyâre human, so they believe they are.â
âAre your parents at home?â I asked, feeling incredibly nervous at the thought of my brother being in close confines with either one of his parents.
Joey shot from the hip and was partial to saying whatever was on his mind.
It was quite possible that he would talk about the concussion incident.
âNo, theyâre above in Dublin,â Johnny told me. âMy Daâs working up there at the moment.â
My eyes widened. âYouâre home alone?â
He smirked. âIâm not four.â
âI know that,â I replied, blushing.
âMy folks travel for work,â he explained, taking mercy on me. âIâm usually alone.â
For whatever reason, those words bothered me.
Iâm usually alone.
That was a sorrowful statement.
Frowning, Johnny reached over and cupped â yes, literally cupped â my chin in his hand.
âWhat the fuck is that?â he demanded, voice deathly quiet, as his blue eyes blazed with fire.
âWhat?â I squeezed out, panic-stricken.
Tipping my chin up, he brushed my hair off my shoulder and released a low growl.
âThat,â he growled, trailing his thumb over my cheekbone. âAnd that,â he added, skimming the curve of my eye.
The contact was so gentle that it caused me to jump from nerves rather than pain.
He dropped his hand from my face but remained exactly where he was standing, so close that I could see the vein ticking in his neck as he clenched and unclenched his jaw.
âShannon, what happened to your face?â
âOh, that?â Laughing nervously, I tucked my hair behind my ear.
I immediately regretted the action when I felt the snot-like drool squelch between my fingers and hair.
It wasnât bad enough to look like a homeless person, I had to go and add drool-soaked hair to the equation.
âYeah, that,â Johnny bit out, glaring at my cheek. âWho did that to you?â
âNobody. I fell over my brotherâs Lego tower last night and almost poleaxed myself on the kitchen table,â the line I had rehearsed to perfection for school tomorrow spilled from my mouth with the expert precision needed to sound believable.
I had been telling lies for so long about where the cuts and bruises on my body came from, that the lie poured effortlessly from my lips.
âYou expect me to believe that?â Johnny stunned me by saying.
I frowned up at him.
That was a good line.
It was a believable line.
Why wasnât he taking it?
âYes,â I strangled out, flustered by his directness. âBecause thatâs what happened.â
He arched a brow. âYouâre honestly trying to tell me that you gave yourself a black eye?â
I shrugged noncommittedly. âIt happens.â
âNot usually,â he bit out. âYou must have been running full speed to smash yourself up like that,â he added, eyes locked on mine in disbelief. âWere you running?â he asked. âFrom something?â He stepped closer. âOr someone?â
Self-preservation roared to life inside of me; my three little brothersâ faces the driving force behind my next words. âWhat exactly are you trying to say?â
âIâm not trying to say anything here, Shannon,â he countered hotly. âIâm asking you to tell me the truth.â
âI am telling you the truth,â I snapped, voice breaking. âStop pushing me.â Tears prickled my eyes and I quickly batted them away. âGod!â
I felt terrible for lying to him especially, but I couldnât exactly turn around and say âoh yeah, when my dadâs full of drink, he likes to beat the shit out of me and throw me around like a ragdoll.â
It was at that exact moment that the skies decided to open above us, delivering an onslaught of pelting March rain, and soaking us both.
Thankful for the downpour, I spun around and hurried back to the car.
âDonât do that,â Johnny called after me. âDonât go back in the bleeding car.â
I shook my head and yanked the door open.
âIâm sorry, okay?â Johnny reached around me and closed the car door again. âI wonât push you.â Spinning me around to face him, he said, âI wonât say another word about it.â
He reached out to touch my face but quickly diverted his movements, cupping the back of his neck instead.
âOkay?â
Nodding, I released a ragged breath. âOkay.â
Johnny exhaled heavily, expression full of relief. âNow, will you come inside with me?â
âI should probably just wait in the car,â I mumbled, hardly able to look him in the eyes. âI donât want to be intruding â unlike my idiot brother who apparently has no qualms about walking into strangerâs houses and eating their food.â
âFirstly, Iâm not a stranger to you, and youâre not intruding on me,â Johnny corrected gruffly as rain pelted down on us both. âSecondly, Iâm inviting you into my house,â he added, running a hand through his now-soaked hair. âYouâre getting soaked.â His gaze traveled over me once more before he inclined his head towards the house. âI want you to come inside.â
âAre you sure?â I croaked out.
He nodded slowly. âAbsolutely.â
âUm, okay,â I whispered uncertainly. âIf youâre sure that youâre sure?â
âIâm sure that Iâm sure,â Johnny quipped. âCome on.â
Johnny spun around and hurried over to the front door, only to turn around and jog back to where I was rooted to the ground.
He placed his hands on my shoulders and walked me into the house.
âSee?â he coaxed when we were both inside with the huge door closed behind us. âThat wasnât so bad, was it?â
I shook my head.
Johnny shook himself down like a dog would, causing rain drops to splatter everywhere.
âYou laughing at me, Shannon like the river?â he teased, noticing my smile.
I shook my head again.
He smiled one of the big, double-dimpled smiles that caused my heart to spazz out before gesturing for me to follow him down the long entrance hall and into a spacious foyer with two huge archways on either side of the room, leading god knows where.
Careful to keep my lips mashed together â and not let my mouth fall open like I wanted to â I took in the enormous staircase that took center stage, with its intricate wooden balusters with the little lion heads carved on top.
My gaze trailed upwards to the top of the staircase where both sides of the landing was clearly visible through the wooden banister rails that eventually joined the wall on either side.
âItâs an old house,â Johnny said by way of explanation. âLike a hundred and fifty years or something.â He looked uncomfortable as he spoke. âMy mother didnât want to change the original design too much when we bought it. We renovated most of the rooms and put in a new kitchen, but Mam wanted to keep some of the original parts.â Shrugging, he added, âShe says the place has character or some shite like that.â
âSheâs right,â I breathed, doing a full 360 turn so I could take in the ridiculously tall ceilings and crystal chandeliers. âI think you could fit my entire house in this hall.â
âJohnny!â Gibsieâs voice thundered from the archway on the left. âGrubâs up.â
âAre you hungry?â Johnny asked as he led me down the long hallway to the door at the end. âKnowing Gibsie, heâs after frying the contents of the fridge.â
I shook my head, my arms moving to wrap around my body almost protectively, as I trailed after him. âIâm okay.â
The moment Johnny pushed the door of the kitchen open, we were bathed in sunlight and the delicious aroma of rashers cooking.
âHey â itâs little Shannon,â Gibsie chirped, turning from his position at an impressive looking stove range to smile and wave a spatula at me. âDid Johnny manage to coax you inside, or was it the smell of my fucking amazing cooking that drew you in?â
âItâs raining,â I mumbled, biting back a shiver as the dampness from my clothes began to seep into my skin.
âYou cooked one egg, Gibs, under my supervision,â Joey, who was sitting on a stool at the center island, piped up. âYouâre no Darina Allen.â
âThank fuck for that, Lynchy.â With the frying pan in his hand, Gibsie walked over to where my brother was sitting and slapped an egg onto his plate. âI like my man parts.â
Reaching across the counter, Joey retrieved the tea-cozy covered teapot and poured two cups of tea before swinging the pot in our direction. âShan, Kavs, tea?â
Gibs?
Lynchy?
Kavs?
This was typical Joey â sparking up a friendship as easily as he could snap his fingers.
A sudden jolt of jealousy burned inside of me, the unfairness of how easy life was for my brother making me feel hard done by.
That tinge of jealously was quickly doused out by the huge tsunami of guilt that enveloped me.
Joey didnât have anything easy.
He made the best of every situation.
He was just trying to survive like the rest of us.
âCan I get you a towel or something?â Johnny offered in a low tone, gaze trailing over me. Frowning, he added, âYouâre soaked.â
âHoly shit,â Joey barked then, startling me. âWhat in the name of Jesus happened to you?â
Setting the teapot down, he stood up and stalked towards me.
Leaning closer, Joey took a whiff of me and then quickly backed away.
âJesus Christ, Shannon,â he gagged. âWhat did you roll in â dog shit?â
Wow, tactful, big brother, thanks a lotâ¦
âNo!â I balked and then tried to sniff myself inconspicuously. âI donât smell.â
âYou donât smell?â Joey shot back mockingly. âYouâre so ripe my eyes are watering.â
God, Joey!
âMy dogs mauled her,â Johnny quickly interjected, running another hand through his hair. Droplets of water continued to drip from his broad shoulders to the tiles on the floor as he spoke. âThey knocked her down outside and rolled all over her.â
âHuh,â my brother bit out. âFunny how my sister always seems to get mauled and knocked around when youâre near her, Kavanagh.â
Johnnyâs jaw ticked, but he didnât respond.
Turning his attention to me, Joey said, âYou need to get out of those wet clothes, Shan, before you get pneumonia.â
I opened my mouth to respond, but
âDo you have something she can throw on?â Joey asked, looking to Johnny. âOr some bleach to mask that god-awful smell?â
Johnny nodded slowly. âYeah, I can find something ââ
âOr we can just leave?â I offered, glaring at my brother, praying he would take the hint. âWe should go home, Joey.â
âYouâre not getting into my girlfriendâs car smelling like that,â Joey shot back.
âDonât be a dickhead,â I growled. âTake me home.â
âYou guys canât go home yet. We havenât had tea and chats,â Gibsie piped up. âAnd I have scones baking in the oven.â
âYou baked scones?â I asked, momentarily distracted. âYou?â
âYes, me,â Gibsie shot back, looking slightly wounded. âIâll have you know that Iâm a wonderful baker.â
âSorry,â I quickly replied, not wanting to offend him. âYou just donât strike me as a baker.â
âRelax, Iâm totally fucking with you,â he laughed. âI have no idea what Iâm doing.â He pointed to the stove and said, âFor all I know, those scones could be killers.â
âKiller scones?â I scrunched my nose up at the concept. âThen I hope you wonât mind if I pass.â
Gibsie chuckled. âI like you.â He looked over my head and said, âI like her,â before returning his attention to me. âBut not the smell.â He pegged his nose with his fingers and added, âYour brotherâs right â you need to change.â
âThatâs okay, Iâm going home ââ I began to say, but once again, I was interrupted â this time by Gibsie.
âJohnny, she can take a shower here, canât she?â
My eyes bulged. âWhat?â
âUh, yeah, I guess,â Johnny, who was still standing behind me, replied slowly. âIf she wants?â
Joey, who had returned to his perch at the island, nodded his head.
âGood idea, Gibs,â he agreed between forkfuls of egg and sausage. âWash that wet dog smell off ya before we have to drive home in small confines.â
âI donât smell,â I muttered.
âYou stink,â both Gibsie and Joey said in unison.
âFuck off the pair of you and leave her alone,â Johnny piped up, sounding aggravated. âShe doesnât smell bad at all.â
âYou donât smell it because youâre immune,â Gibsie retorted. Turning to Joey, he said, âHe lets the mutt sleep on his bed every night.â
âCall my dog a mutt again and youâll be wearing that frying pan,â Johnny warned.
âMy sincerest apologies, lad.â Gibsie threw his hands up in retreat. âI never meant to insult your precious pooch.â
Ignoring the snickering and banter, I swung around and stared up at Johnny. âIâm so sorry about this.â
His attention flickered from the boys to me and stayed there. âItâs okay, Shannon.â His voice was impassive, but his eyes were burning with something I was afraid to decipher because I had the distinct feeling that in this moment, my eyes mirrored his. âYou can wash up in my bathroom.â
âNo, honestly, itâs okay.â My face was burning with embarrassment. âI donât have to shower in your house.â
âAh, yeah you fucking do,â Joey called out. âI meant it when I said youâre not getting into Aoifeâs car like that. I could run a drag off ya with the state youâre in.â
âFor fuckâs sake,â Johnny snapped.
Yanking the kitchen door open, he caught ahold of my hand and practically dragged me down the hallway.
âCome on,â he ordered. âIâll look after you.â
âUh, okay,â I strangled out, because in all honesty what hope did I have of saying no when a gigantic rugby player was dragging me through his house?
âFor the record,â Johnny called over his shoulder as he tugged me up the staircase, turning right when we reached the upstairs landing. âI donât think you smell that bad.â
âUm, thank you?â I strangled out, unsure of the appropriate response to a boy telling you that you donât smell that bad, and too out of breath to come up with anything better.
He was moving fast, my hand still wrapped in his, and I had to run to keep up with his long strides.
He didnât stop moving until we were at the end of the landing and standing outside a closed door.
I noted that we had passed at least half a dozen other doors on this section of the landing, but I was too lightheaded from trying to keep up with him to really take stock of my surroundings.
Releasing my hand, Johnny pushed the door inwards and stepped inside, gesturing for me to follow him.
I did â and it was like stepping into a bedroom version of the hall of fame.
The room was huge, the walls were blue, and the enormous, four-poster bed took center stage.
There was an entertainment center opposite the bed that resembled a miniature cinema, but none of those details were what stuck out in my mind.
It was the rows upon rows of trophies and medals ordaining the walls that had my immediate attention.
Framed jerseys littered the walls, along with several peculiar looking caps and posters of the Irish rugby team.
There was a huge oak desk settled in the space at the far wall between two windows.
On top of the desk was an expensive looking laptop and heaps of school books and exam papers.
Above it hung a huge corkboard, mounted to the wall.
Stuck to the board were countless photographs â of different celebrity athletes.
All of whom Johnny was standing beside in the pictures.
âSo,â Johnny said with a shrug. âThis is my room.â
He walked over to his bed and kicked several items of clothes under it.
âItâs a nice room,â I replied, chewing on my lip as I glanced around.
In typical teenage boy fashion, it was a complete mess with the mandatory posters of semi-naked girls with humongous breasts ordaining the walls.
Clothes were strewn everywhere, and PlayStation controllers and games littered the floor by the TV beside a couple of leather beanbags.
âYou can shower in here,â Johnny said then. Shaking his head, he burst into action, moving for a door in the left corner of his room, near his bed.
âIf youâre sure?â I squeezed out, feeling incredibly intimidated to be standing in his personal space and potentially removing all my clothes.
We were virtual strangers.
It seemed wrong to be in his space.
Seemed wrong, but felt so rightâ¦
âYeah, itâs no problem,â he quickly replied, opening the door for me. He poked his head inside for a brief moment before popping back out. âThereâs fresh towels on the rack. Use whatever you like.â
Holy crap.
This was crazy.
It was too surreal.
I left my house this morning to buy some hash browns and a can of coke, and now I was standing in Johnny Kavanaghâs bedroom, about to take a shower in his ensuite bathroom.
How was this even happening?
âDo you want me to throw your clothes in the dryer while youâre in the shower?â he asked, startling me back to the present.
âMy clothes?â My hands moved to my middle and I quickly shook my head. âUh, no, thatâs okay.â
He nodded stiffly and I watched him kick several more items of clothes under his bed. âIâd give you something of my motherâs but she locks her clothes room when she travels.â
âHer clothes room?â
âYeah, she, uh, my Ma works with clothes.â Johnny shifted uncomfortably. âItâs more of a giant fucking wardrobe of a room if you ask me, but she calls it her office.â He smirked then, clearly thinking about something funny. âGibs broke in there one time and wrecked some important piece for a new line she was working on, so she keeps it locked when sheâs in London now.â
âYour Mam designs clothes?â
âYeah.â
My eyes widened. âLike a fashion designer?â
Johnny nodded.
âIn London?â
Another nod.
âReally?â
âYeah.â
Whoaâ¦
âWhatâs your father?â I muttered. âA doctor?â
âNo, heâs a barrister,â he replied without batting an eyelid.
Jesus.
His mother was a fashion designer and his father was a bloody high-class lawyer.
Well, at least that explains the mansion Iâm standing inside.
Johnnyâs gaze darted to his bedside locker then and he hurried over and yanked open the top drawer before sweeping the contents on top into the drawer.
âIâll go find you something of mine you can change into,â he mumbled, cheeks turning slightly pink, as he shoved the drawer closed and kicked a bunch of papers that had toppled off his locker under the bed. âIâll leave some clothes on the bed just in case you want to⦠Just pick whatever you want.â
I hesitated, taking one step forward and three steps back, before taking a deep breath and walking over to the bathroom door.
Johnny stepped aside for me to pass, but he was so big that I still managed to brush against him.
âThanks, Johnny,â I whispered before hurrying into his bathroom with a raging case of hormones and a hammering heart.
âYouâre welcome, Shannon,â I heard him say just before I clicked the door shut.
Oh Jesus.
What the hell was happening?