Chapter 286 – Xiao Qin’s First Nigh

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Xiao Qin was humming the theme song for the cartoon, the ‘Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf‘. Her excitement was only second to the time when I picked up fifty cents on the road when I was in elementary school.

It seems she had a lot of stuff in her Hello Kitty bag other than textbooks.

First, was a bag of mangoes she brought from home. Besides me, she also shared it with Loud Mouth and the rest of the girls in our class.

Loud Mouth said while eating, “Xiao Qin, did something good happen?”

Xiao Qin made a (～￣▽￣～) expression but remained secretive.

Finally, the class leader got her hands on a mango. She happily ate it when she heard it was a gift from Xiao Qin, but I was worried it was poisoned.

However, I was the first one to eat a mango, and I picked one at random. Even if Xiao Qin was willing to poison Loud Mouth and the rest of the class to kill the class leader, I don’t think she would poison me.

Xiong YaoYue was chewing a leaf and dazing out at the front of the class, but she was lured towards us by the noise we made.

Xiong YaoYue’s eyes widened when she saw yellow stains around my mouth and she blurted out:

“Fuck, Ye Lin, did you eat shit.”

You’re the one who ate shit. Even if mango kind of has a shitty yellow color, can you pay more attention to your behavior and speech as a girl.

At this time, Xiao Qin held a lemon towards me and said: “Ye Lin classmate, eat this too.”

I didn’t accept it, “Is it sour, I don’t really like sour things.”

Xiao Qin gave me a stern lesson: “How can you not eat something because you don’t like it. This is the antidote.”

Anti…dote, so were the mangoes really poisoned? I can’t believe you would sacrifice 1/3 of the girls in our class in order to eliminate the class leader.

“Ayayaya (￣▽￣)~* . Look at how scared you are, it was only a joke. Only malicious female antagonists would use poison.”

She said as she put the lemon away, but it was unable to escape from Loud Mouth’s godly eyes. She got her hands on it, cut it into small pieces and shared it with everyone.

Eh, what’s the reason for her sudden increase in confidence. Does she believe victory is within her grasps because the class leader has been cold to me for the past couple of days?

“Stop it~?” Xiao Qin covered her bright red cheeks, “How can you ask me why. It’s clearly because Ye Lin classmate couldn’t hold back and forced himself on me.”

Wait… wait, what did you say? Who forced themselves on you? When did this happen? How come the perpetrator doesn’t know about it?

In biology class, Xiao Qin took out a refined thermos from her bag. She used her textbook as cover and ate in small spoonfuls.

I noticed her “lunch” was a box of Osekihan, there was also a date in the middle.

When Xiao Qin saw my suspicious gaze, she explained:

“In shoujo manga, when a girl becomes a woman after night, she has to eat sekihan. I made it myself this morning and was almost late.”

Who cares if you were late or not. Yes, it is Japanese culture to eat sekihan after losing their virginity, but why are you copying them, also who turned you into a woman.

“Of course it’s Ye Lin classmate, it’s so embarrassing… Ye Lin classmate was so rough last night.”

Don’t tell me I sleepwalked to your place? No way, Auntie Ren would not have let me inside, also there’s no reason for Xiao Qin to tell such a blatant lie…

Is it possible someone else took her first time and I was cuckolded?

Although Xiao Qin is only my girlfriend in-name only, I wouldn’t allow any other men to lay their hands on her. I’ve been bullied by the Little Tyrant for so many years and I plan to return the favor one by one, so everyone else should butt out.

But, Xiao Qin has androphobia and wouldn’t allow other young men to get closer. How would she mistake someone else as me, unless…

Unless they look similar to me, I can’t believe such a person actually exists. Wait, isn’t it the depressed bro who’s acting for Director Cao, Wu Sheng?

Fuck, you dare get on my woman. Looks like you don’t want to live anymore. I’ll pull your heart out!

Calm down, something’s wrong. First of all, depressed bro doesn’t know martial arts, so he wouldn’t be able to get past Auntie Ren. Also, I don’t think he is connected to Xiao Qin, they might have never even met before.

The most important thing is that there’s a reason he’s nicknamed ‘Depressed Bro’. In film school, his two ex-girlfriends all got depression and dropped out because of him. Also, rumor says he never even had a physical relationship with those girls because he ‘couldn’t feel joy’. How can someone who has no drive to live take the time to NTR me?

Xiao Qin didn’t know my inner thoughts and happily finished her sekihan. She wiped her mouth, patted her stomach, and said foolishly:

“I saved a lot of Ye Lin classmate’s fluids last night, how about I release a egg tonight.”

I hesitated and inquired Xiao Qin details about last night’s events, but Xiao Qin was unwilling to say.

“How can I say… something so embarrassing.”

“Anyway… it was Ye Lin classmate who initiated… you first stripped me nude, then used your tongue… over there and even on there….”

“The terrible Ye Lin classmate purposely tickled me and stole my precious thing while I was laughing…”

“Even though I was pressed underneath and was a bit out of breath, but I was happy…”

“I rode on top of Ye Lin classmate, I didn’t have to worry about you being snatched away…”

“Wait.” I asked, “Weren’t you just underneath, how did we switch positions.”

Xiao Qin covered her face again:

“So embarrassing. The first time the thing was on top, how could I say it aloud.”

Didn’t you just say it? Also, what was on top of who?

Xiao Qin lowered her voice and she had a sunset glow on her face.

“Because Ye Lin classmate was really perverted and couldn’t be satisfied, I had to change positions many times…”

It sounded more and more fishy. The performance of men versus women is like comparing an ant to an elephant. As the proverb says ‘There’s such thing as an unplowable field, only cattle who get tired’. (TN: I think it’s clear what this means)

I heard there were two American girls who did almost five hundred men in one day and only ended up with sore hips and legs.

They are not alone. A Russian man also tried the same with vodka and viagra. He did it thirty-six times with two women in a day, but he ran out of strength and died.

If a women begs you on bed, it’s either because she wants to sleep or she’s feeling generous and wants to satisfy your vanity.

If Xiao Qin kept changing positions, even if her partner was an alien, they would have been sucked dry.

Xiao Qin suddenly sighed.

“Well, I followed Ye Lin classmate in every aspect, but he was still not satisfied. His nostrils kept getting bigger and bigger… Finally, both of us grew wings and lingered on the cumulonimbus clouds before Ye Lin classmate finally gave me his precious seed…”

What… wings, cumulonimbus: aren’t you just fucking dreaming.

“That’s right.” Xiao Qin blinked innocently, “It is last nights dream. Weren’t you also there?”

I looked at her with disdain.

“Um… um…” Xiao Qin twiddled her index fingers, “Were you satisfied with my performance last night?”

My ass! You actually gaze me a scare, but it was only a dream. What do your erotic dreams have to do with me?

“How does it have nothing to do with you.” Xiao Qin wanted to hug my arm, but couldn’t because of the biology teacher’s stares.

“It’s not a normal dream, it’s the brainwaves of two lovers meeting. You must have also been there, but you’re not admitting it because you don’t want to take responsibility.”

In China, there are at least 5 million people who have dreamt about Sola Aoi. Based on your logic, would they have to take responsibility.

“I don’t care.” Xiao Qin pouted, “We’re already at the stage where we have dream sex, so I won’t allow you to look at other girls.”

Dream… sex. You’re already a lost cause. For the sake of the IQ of my descendants, not only will I look at other girls, I’ll also get a harem.