Chapter 335 – A Pervert Who Likes Underwear

TN: Just saw there was someone translating the manhua, so if anyone’s interested…

I was curious on what Ai Mi was scribbling, was it her signature?

It wasn’t her signature! I thought she would be signing her own own name on a sheet of paper and putting a kiss on it as a souvenir, but it wasn’t. Ai Mi signed her name on a pair of light pink underwear!

It might be due to the fact her Chinese writing wasn’t up to par, so she signed her name in English. It was written in beautiful cursive, but unfortunately, I have trouble recognizing all the letters. I could only make a guess it’s the English word for ‘Ai Mi’er’ based on the spelling. Since it was for a fan, she could only sign her artist’s name.

Actually, if it’s a gift for me, I prefer if you would sign your real name. A while back, I used a VPN to watch one of your opening acts on youtube (my English was god awful), I couldn’t understand anything and couldn’t even differentiate if it was good or bad. Also, I couldn’t even keep watching when you were dressed so skimpily with all the cheering fans. It’s better if you stop being a celebrity, or at least stop doing those concerts.

No, what am I thinking about? It’s not the right time to be thinking about her signature. A younger sister giving her older brother her underwear isn’t normal!

I asked while trembling: “Ai Mi… what are you doing?”

“It’s a signature.”

“No…. I mean what are you writing on?”

“Underwear.”

Can you not reply as if nothing is wrong? Even if you’ve lived an open life in America for 12 years, can you at least have some shame?

“Who’s underwear?”

“Mines.” Ai Mi finished signing her name and looked at me strangely, “Who else could it belong to? Peng TouSi?”

Damn, please don’t mention that possibility. Now I can’t help imagining Peng TouSi wearing girly underwear and it killed off millions of my brain cells.

“Why… are you signing your name on underwear?”

“Didn’t I say I wanted to give you a souvenir?”

“I… I’m not a pervert, why would I want that as a souvenir?”

Ai Mi looked at me mischievously and we both stood there in silence.

“If my underwear could be removed by your gaze alone, it would have already been removed at least twenty times in the past couple of days. Don’t think I didn’t realize you were staring at them.”

Is it a women’s sixth sense? I feel ashamed…

“Just tell me if you want it. If you can say you love me easily, why do you have to act so shy over a pair of underwear?”

Shy? I think that’s a normal reaction. On Valentine’s day, there are a lot of boys who confess to girls, but I don’t think there’s a single one who asks for a girl’s underwear.

“Ai Mi, you can’t just give away your underwear randomly…”

“I didn’t. Obama was the one who gave them away randomly. As for me, it’s the first time I’ve ever personally handed a fan my signed underwear, just be grateful and accept it.”

“But, your worn underwear…” I refused while I subconsciously reached out to receive it.

Then, Ai Mi suddenly moved the underwear further away and I grabbed air. Ai Mi mischievously hid it behind her back and laughed.

“Even though you say you don’t want it, it seems your body is pretty honest.”

She gleefully brought the underwear in front of her. Then, she stood on the stool and raised the underwear as high as she could like she was baiting me like a fish.

“Come on, I’ll give it to you if you bite it with your mouth.”

It was like she was getting revenge for the time when we first met at the supermarket where I raised the chips and only gave it to her when she said good things.

Who would use their mouth to bite their sister’s underwear? Don’t seduce me onto a dangerous path.

“Ai Mi, stop fooling around, it’s dangerous.” I said, “How could you take your worn underwear….”

Ai Mi sat on the stool with disappointment when I wouldn’t play the fishing game with her. she then rolled the underwear into a ball.

“Manservant, this pair of underwear is indeed from my closet, but I never said I’ve worn it before.”

“Huh?”

“I have hundreds of pairs of underwear I choose daily based on my mood. I can’t remember which ones I’ve worn or not….”

“Do you have a requirement that it must have been worn?”

Ai Mi’s current expression made her seem like she was a Alien Queen conquering Earth.

“Hehe. If you kneel and beg me, I’ll wear this underwear, then take it off and hand it to you.”

“No, no need” I waved my hands in a hurry, “It doesn’t have to be worn, it’s fine as long as it’s your underwear…”

Since I’m going to sell it to Director Cao, I would feel less guilty if it’s never been worn.

Ai Mi, on the other hand, thought I confessed. She pointed at me and laughed:

“Hahaha, as expected, you’re a lolicon with fetishism! Do you get excited as long as it’s my underwear, even if it’s never been worn?”

“No, you’re misunderstanding…”

“Why are you being shy? Didn’t you just brazenly profess your love for me? Hey, are you going to take this underwear home and use it to jack off?”

Who would use their sister’s underwear to masturbate? I only want to sell it for money…

“I’m warning you.” Ai Mi suddenly became serious, “You can use it to jack off, but you are not allowed to wear it. I hate perverts who wear female clothing. Stay away from me in the future if you do wear it.”

Ah, aren’t you talking about Shu Zhe? He’s fond of your money and might even try to get into a relationship with you.

“I don’t care about what you do with it as long as you guarantee you won’t wear it.” Ai Mi told me her condition as she handed it towards me. I hesitated whether or not I should accept it.

It’s twenty thousand bucks! It’s the money I’ve decided to use to cut off all relations with Ai ShuQiao. I could only battle her without restraint after I returned the money I used. And since this pair of underwear was willingly given to me by Ai Mi, you can take it as a declaration of war from the two of us.

I accepted my sister’s underwear with uninhibited excitement.

I put it in my pockets for now. I don’t have to worry about it losing its smell since it has never been worn.

Ah, what am I thinking about? It’s already bad enough I’m selling my sister’s underwear, I have to make sure no one gets their hands on my sister’s worn underwear!

“You can come ask me for another pair when that one tears.”

Ai Mi said magnanimously.

What do I have to do in order to tear it?

“Of course, it’s when your by yourself on a quiet night furiously jerking off while using your imagination. You’ll definitely rip it since you’re strong.”

Ai Mi said happily.

“I’m actually a bit curious on how you would fantasize about me when using my underwear to jerk off. Would you jump on me and tear off all my clothes or attack me when I’m sleeping?”

Stop, I have never and will never use your underwear to masturbate. The scene you’re imagining will never happen between the two of us. It’s a crime just thinking about it.

Ai Mi was in a good mood after teasing me. She instructed her French chef to prepare me an extravagant lunch. While we ate, we both laughed at Kyle’s stupidity, complained about our mother’s harshness, and Auntie Ren’s pickiness.

Peng TouSi reminded Ai Mi after we’ve eaten quite a bit: “Miss, you’ve already surpassed your daily recommended caloric intake.” Ai Mi left the table in a bad mood.

There was a ton of fruits and desserts in the afternoon. I pretty much ate all of it since Ai Mi had calorie limits.

In order to not gain fat, I took off my shirt and began doing push-ups in Ai Mi’s room in my vest.

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6……”

“7……7%￥@#￥,.,,,…..”

Something heavy was suddenly put on my back and my nose almost hit the floor.

It was Ai Mi who had sat on my back.

There are a lot of chairs and sofas in the room, go sit in another spot. Although you’re not heavy, your butt being pressed against my back is distracting!

“Is it too much for you?” Ai Mi taunted me, “Peng TouSi could do 1000 push-ups with me sitting on him.”

Of course I believe it since he’s a man with God as his target. The most important thing is that he’s gay, and it doesn’t matter if you guys have physical contact. But it’s not fine for me since even if I’m your brother, my body will still have natural physiological responses!

But I guess it’s unavoidable for siblings to have physical contact. I might as well get used to it now.

I quietly accepted the fact Ai Mi was sitting on my back.

“25, 26, 27…..”

“You’re not as stable as Peng TouSi.” Ai Mi said fussily.

No shit. He’s two meters tall and wide as hell. If you think I’m skinny, then get off!

Ai Mi turned on the TV while treating me as a chair. She started laughing while watching a foreign TV show called The Powerpuff Girls.

And you still say you’re not a child while watching such childish cartoons.

Due to various reasons, I dropped down from exhaustion after doing 40 push-ups with Ai Mi sitting on me.

Ai Mi still didn’t get off and finished watching three continuous episodes of The Powerpuff Girls.

Then she called Peng TouSi and told him to teach me killing techniques. Peng TouSi shook his head and said ‘It’s not good to kill’. He refused to teach me even when Ai Mi went and pinched his face.

Gradually, it was already 8pm. It was time for me to say my farewells since the wind wasn’t blowing outside anymore.

Ai Mi was reluctant to part and she told me to come see her more often which I agreed to do.

It was hard to calm my emotions on the way home.

It was like Ai Mi’s underwear that was in my pockets was calling out to me to take it out and appreciate it under the streetlights.

I resisted the bad urges and walked into an alley that seldomly has people passing through it. Then, I heard the hurried footsteps of someone running. He was carrying a large bag and his face mask had fallen off and it was hanging on one of his ears. It was like he was being chased and he was running for his life.

Wait, isn’t that the small-time gang leader, young master Xu, a.k.a the outdoor jacket-wearing panty thief?

He was even holding onto a recently stolen pair of underwear. He was sniffing it while running with a satisfied expression.

It seems like it’s true you can’t escape if you’re guilty. Watch me punish this perverted underwear thief in the name of the citizens!