Chapter 358 – A Near Miss

Along with a nearby clap of thunder, the wind picked up, and the rain transitioned from a vertical descent to a frontal assault. The umbrella became completely useless and almost flew out of my hands a number of times.

I was relatively fine because I had waterproof pants, but Ai Mi was already soaked from head to toe and an outline of her underwear was visible.

Of course, I looked away and tried to contend against the force of nature while trying to block as much rain as possible.

Ai Mi was not the least bit grateful. She raised her head and let the rain pour down as she enjoyed the feeling of rain trickling down her limbs.

“It’s better if the sun never comes out again.” She yelled.

Do you really think you’re a vampire? I mean would there even be a vampire as weak as you? You would probably starve to death if you had to attack people with your strength. But if you beg me while crying, I might spare a bit of my blood.

It happened all of a sudden when a different crackling sound appeared. Before I realized what happened, a huge fracture split the sky, then a large black building began toppling towards us.

No, it wasn’t a building, it was a large tree. I’m not sure if it was because the tree’s roots were rotten, but it began falling towards me and Ai Mi.

Shit, does the tree want to commit double homicide? Did you have a grudge on me in your past life, then waited for me for five hundred years after reincarnating as a tree? Why did you have to fall right now? How come someone who’s destined to become a harem king be flattened by a mere plant?

The tree snapped near the bottom, but the bark still held on for a bit which delayed its speed.

Ai Mi was thoughtlessly standing in front of me. When she heard the sound of the tree breaking and the large black shadow descending from the sky, she froze and couldn’t even scream for help.

Martial arts, especially Yin Yang Sanshou, is about anticipation and quick reactions. I instantly estimated the amount of time it would take for the tree to fall and compared it against the time it would take for us to dodge.

It’s a bit dangerous, I would only have 0.1 seconds of margin if I don’t make any mistakes. Let’s get my sister out of the way first.

I snapped forward and shouted “watch out!” and shoved her to the side before she could react.

It might have been a bit barbaric, but it’s better than being squashed by a tree.

Ai Mi stumbled backwards, but couldn’t stand still and sat down on the rain-covered stone street. But it was better to land with her butt than with the back of her head, the worst case would be a slightly wetter dress.

After being positive my sister was out of danger, I let go of the umbrella and let it be blown away so it wouldn’t slow me down.

If a martial artist focuses their concentration, especially with the help of adrenaline, they would see their enemies in slow motion, like the tree that was falling towards me.

I could have avoided it unscathed, but I suddenly had a thought, which was in short a mistake.

Although gramps have already told me the wuxia moves you see in on TV or in novels are all bullshit… but subconsciously I still thought they existed.

Especially when gramps praised my improvement, it inevitably made me a bit cocky.

So I had an impossibly stupid idea, which was to use Yin Yang Sanshou to change the force from the tree and shift it towards another direction. Then Ai Mi would be safer and she would also respect me more.

“So my brother is even more incredible than superman! I’ve acted inconsiderate towards you before, but please excuse your immature sister.”

Would she say something like that?

I wasted the tiny amount of margin time I had when I was having stupid thoughts.

As the black shadow began to drop on my face, my body ordered me: Dodge it, you idiot. You watched way too many wuxia movies. If you don’t dodge it, you’re going to die in front of your sister.

I quickly turned my heels around and ran towards Ai Mi. But since I wasn’t used to wearing rain boots, paired with the fact the ground was wet and slippery, I made a mistake and slipped.

Then, the tree that was thick enough to be enveloped by one person’s arms, fell onto my back.

“It’s over.” That’s what I thought at the time, but I tried my best to disperse as much of its force as I could. I tried to act like a cotton ball and move along with the flow and not go against the force.

There was a ‘CLANG’ followed by a ‘BANG’. I thought all my innards had leaked out after my ribs were crushed into a pulp. I couldn’t help feeling a bit of sorrow.

I had such a miserable death even though I haven’t done anything bad. Congratulations tree, you were able to get your revenge after five hundred years. now you can go ahead and reincarnate in peace.

Wait, I think the clang earlier was made by something metallic. I don’t think I have anything metal on my body. Unless I’m actually a robot made by my dad, and he’s been progressively giving me an aging body so I didn’t notice anything.

Wait, that doesn’t sound right. What kind of shitty robot wouldn’t even be able to beat Little Tyrant? I’m a defective robot, I don’t have the courage to face brother Optimus Prime anymore.

After feeling around a bit, I realized my ribs weren’t broken even though I was under the tree.

It seems the clang from earlier was the tree knocking down and flattening a nearby garbage can.

I was actually saved by a garbage can! I have to take the remains back home and worship it, then pass it down to my descendants. Its noble sacrifice created a tiny space between the tree and the road. My life wasn’t in any danger, but I was pressed against the road tightly so I couldn’t crawl out.

It kind of seems like I’m not going to make it.

They say those who survive a catastrophe are bound to have good luck later on, so I have to go and buy the lottery! Ai Mi, why are you just staring blankly? Hurry up and call the bodyguards. The space seems to be stable for now, but who knows how long it would hold.

Hey, why… are you crying?