Chapter 4 – My Ingenious Plan

Editor: @potatoes|i edit for fun

The matter with Xiao Qin still bothered me after returning to the house where my dad and I live.

“Hey, hey, you didn’t expect that, right? The shota I bought increased in value again!”

The door to my old man’s room was not closed. He was sitting in front of the computer while having a scary discussion with a client.

Of course, my dad is not a child trafficker. Although he’s useless, he has not fallen to that extent.

Because he was not able to endure the shock of being divorced from my mother, he fell from the position of a university lecturer to someone who raised me by depending on income from an online store.

Normally, I should be grateful to my father, right? My mother eloped with a foreign teacher at her university before I even turned one month old, her whereabouts are still unknown. Even if I see my dad’s old treasured photo of a woman smiling sweetly, it’s completely incapable of making me feel the warmth and comfort of a mother.

My dad’s not short, he should be 183cm, but his legs are a bit short (I’m also the same type). He looks educated with his black-framed glasses, like a university lecturer. He also treats me very well, he doesn’t tell me what or what not to do, instead he speaks to me at a equal position like friends.

Yet, I’m still not satisfied with this dad? I believe a lot of people will call me greedy.

—— But, my dad’s Taobao store is too embarrassing!

Censored products. I mentioned it once before, to be specific, he sells tools that satisfy abnormal sexual desires to failure otakus who don’t want to get involved in society.

For example, H manga, onaholes, prostate vibrators, bishoujo figurines with skimpy clothing, love pillows with a naked cat-ear girl in a shy pose, and inflatable love dolls… (TN: Feel free to google stuff you don’t know, not gonna link this stuff)

Once, my dad mysteriously made a promise that if I can score in the top 15 of my class (my class has a total of 44 people), he would let me pick any product from his online H store.

“I recommend an onahole! The R20 model has pretty good reviews!” He suggested with a wretched appearance.

I refused the old man with chills going down my back.

There are not many boys my age who do not like H goods. No matter what, I do not want my dad to know what H goods I buy, not to mention using an onahole my dad gives me.

Sometimes, having a father who is an even bigger pervert than yourself, where he even comes to you to discuss new H sites, gives you headaches.

Also, my dad was never like this before.

He only slowly degenerated to this state after being discarded by my mother.

“Huh? You don’t like that S&M book? How about this book, ‘The Three Sows’?” The sound of my dad’s voice could be heard once again.

I helped my dad close the door to his room while filled with feelings of disgust.

I’m also a boy in puberty, so I can’t deny that the stacks of H goods were once extremely alluring. But every time I see my dad carelessly show a lonely expression, I get scared to death of females.

On more than one occasion, my dad has locked himself in his room, sobbing and screaming a woman’s name, while he was drunk.

I guess it should be my mother’s name? A mother who can abandon her own son without the slightest bit of hesitation, yet my ruined father is still unable to forget her.

What a destructive power!

That’s why even though my school has a lot of beautiful girls, not one of them can give me a good impression.

—— I know they have venom deadlier than a cobra.

That’s why I cherish the memory of exchanging blows with the Little Tyrant, it was an intense and pure time. On the other hand, when Ren XiaoQin asked me to be her girlfriend in a gentle voice, I could feel the venomous fang hidden behind her smile.

The doorbell rang, it was the food that my dad ordered. I glanced at the dining table and I found the tea can where my dad kept the change and handed it to the delivery man.

“It’s time to eat!”

After being called more than three times, my dad reluctantly left his computer and came out to eat a box of rice with meat and vegetables.

My dad was reading ‘Ichigo 100%‘ while eating.

“Don’t read while eating!”

The role of father and son was completely reversed.

“Oh right, do you still remember Auntie Ren who lived in that complex with us before we moved?”

“Oh, our neighbor? I remember! She was smoking hot! Look! Doesn’t she look like this character?”

He raised his manga to show me a nude woman who just came out of the bath.

“Stop messing around!” I wanted to snatch away the manga, but my dad nimbly avoided it.

“Dad, how much do you know about Auntie Ren’s kid…?”

I pretended I was not fervently awaiting for a reply.

“Oh, that tomboy who used to fool around every day! I think… she was called Xiao Qin! She didn’t have an ounce of femininity, how is she going to get married when she’s older!”

My dad sighed as he shoveled food into his mouth.

So my dad already knew Xiao Qin was a girl! Was I the only one who was completely in the dark?

When I was bullied by the Little Tyrant before, I always said the injuries were because I tripped due to my pride. I also said I accidentally lost my toy robots… If I just told my dad once after being bullied that many times, he would have told me that Xiao Qin was a girl, and I wouldn’t have had this misunderstanding for this long!

I felt even more angry and depressed. I returned to my room without saying another word to take an afternoon nap.

Damn Little Tyrant! Forced me to get up so early on the weekends, we didn’t fight, and I wasn’t able to save brother Optimus Prime. What a failure.

After glancing at the exercise equipment under my bed, I felt like an idiot.

Dumbbells, sandbags, and pec machines… I can’t feel the burning excitement anymore, I might as well become a lazy person.

Didn’t Xiao Qin say she stayed holed up in her house for three years? Wouldn’t your muscles atrophy if you don’t leave the house for three years? She lost the Little Tyrant’s strength, right? Also, is it okay if you don’t go to school for three years? Now that I brought it up, I have no idea which school the Little Tyrant went to. Was she homeschooled?

Damn it! Why do I keep thinking about her?

Not only did the Little Tyrant disturb my afternoon nap, I couldn’t sleep well at night either.

I wish I can viciously beat the Little Tyrant in my dreams, so I can release some of my anger. As a result, when I succeeded and knocked him to the ground, his sinister face disappeared before I was about to release another one hundred punches.

It turned into Xiao Qin’s face, the one I just saw today.

Snow-white skin, long eyelashes, large misty eyes, and soft and light pink lips…

“Hit me, hit until your anger is gone…” Xiao Qin said as she turned her head and laid out her body like a fish on a chopping board.

I woke up from the dream with a scream. The display on the fluorescent clock by my bedside: It was currently 3:00am.

I actually had a physiological reaction. I had a physiological reaction to the Xiao Qin from my dream.

No, it’s just a coincidence. It’s a natural reaction for a boy in puberty at 3am. I should be able tot settle down after using the washroom.

I will never have any feelings for Xiao Qin. There is only one reason she is constantly in my mind, and it’s because she still has not returned brother Optimus Prime.

That’s definitely the reason.

I’m not sure why, but I wasn’t able to fall asleep after using the washroom. It was as if I was afraid of having the same dreams if I fell asleep.

Damn, my head is filled with thoughts about Xiao Qin!

This is not a good omen! The barbaric image of the Little Tyrant in my head is being gradually replaced with Xiao Qin’s delicate figure —— my nemesis is going to disappear!

No, it would be better to say she turned into a scarier form.

Just like my mother who abandoned my father, a scarier and more ruthless form.

You will never be able to recover once you get bitten by her venomous fangs.

I got it! The Little Tyrant is just changing the way she’s bullying me!

When she had a physical advantage, she used her fists to cause bodily harm. Now that she’s lost her physical advantage, she morphed into a cute girl. She wants to get into my heart, and when I’m so far deep in feelings and can’t leave, she will reveal her venomous fangs and finish me off!

She wants to turn me into a sad and unfortunate creature like my dad!

My body was covered with cold sweat after that thought.

Scary, too scary! It’s a good thing I’m smart and was able to see through her trick!

I definitely cannot agree to her request! What boyfriend or girlfriend, she clearly wants to mess with the innocent heart of a young man!

Even if you did not give up after today’s rejection, I will be prepared for your future attacks!

If you dress beautifully, I’ll intentionally say you look ugly like Sister Feng. (TN: We also mentioned Sister Feng in a later chapter’s footnotes)

If you make me a bento like they do in manga, I’ll intentionally spit it out after one bite and say it’s worse than animal feed.

If you are conversing with another girl, I’ll intentionally get closer to that girl and ask her out to see a movie.

Basically, I’m going to beat her at her own game and bully her!

Don’t blame me, you were the one who declared war first. You forced me to do this.

I was finally able to fall asleep after making my decision.

The snake known as Xiao Qin wants to inject poison called “love” into my body, it’s clear she’s delusional.

I am so smart.