Chapter 481 – Philosophy of Life and Death
I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl
As if the heavens were influenced by the class leaderâs tears and also wanted to weep for the passing of the little black dog.
Everyone says it rains on Qing Ming Festival (day to commemorate the dead) because rain acts as a good farewell when a life passes away.
I vaguely remember back many years ago when my own dog died. The skies were clear and a detestable shade of blue. It was not until late into the night when I secretly buried my dog in the community garden that the heavens stingily shed a few tears.
Afterward, I had a long discussion with my dad. He might be a man who couldnât escape from his emotions, but he has a lot of unique views about life and death, you could even say heâs almost at a philosopherâs level.
I could plagiarize the words my dad once told me and tell it to the class leader.
âIt doesnât matter if itâs a burial or a cremation.â I pointed to my heart after I attracted the class leaderâs attention, âBen Hur Lampman once said: The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master.â
My dad once said that to me to comfort me.
Of course, I still have no idea who Ben Hur Lampman is, maybe he didnât do anything else but say that line.
The class leader, who was sharing an umbrella with me while walking on the water soaked streets, looked up at me as if she didnât expect that I could say those words.
The pet hospital had received an emergency where a German Shepherd had its stomach pierced by a chicken bone and needed immediate surgery. I was able to persuade the class leader to leave the little black dogâs body with Xiao Ding, and we walked out with my umbrella.
I was only planning on comforting the class leader a bit and then bring her home, but she wandered around aimlessly and brought me onto streets I didnât recognize. It was clear she still had a lot of emotions and didnât want to head home yet.
There werenât many pedestrians on the damp streets and the air was crisp and clear. The wet surface of the road reflected the lights from the streetlights and the dimness of the night more pronounced.
The class leader once again let out a couple of sniffles. If I didnât personally witness it, I would never believe the mighty class leader would suddenly act like a crybaby.
The night breeze blew at the class leaderâs skirt and I slanted the umbrella a bit more towards her to prevent her from being showered by the rain. It was fine for me since I already got wet when I ran over.
What, did you say I would get a cold? Stop joking, a Spartanâs body wouldnât be that frail.
âButâ¦â the class leader spoke for the first time after I comforted her, âHe was able to pass so many crises, but he couldnât pass this oneâ¦â
I recollected the things my dad once said to me and instead of answering the class leader directly, I asked:
âClass leader, do you believe in life after death?â
The class leader shook her head, âMy parents are atheists and so am I.â
âThatâs right, if you donât believe in the afterlife, then the little black dog is currently in a state of nothingness. Itâs a great state to be in, even better than a deep sleep. If you donât believe me, try to remember the state you were in before you were born.â
My unconventional rational caused the class leader to widen her eyes in surprise, âSo youâre saying⦠since nothing exists after death, itâs even better than being alive?â
Yeah, thatâs pretty much what my dad meant. He even quoted a passage from the Book of Dao which says, âI suffer because I exist, if I donât exist then what sufferings could happen to me?â
In laymanâs terms: âSince I have a physical body, that means I would die of sickness and suffer. If I donât have a body, then I wouldnât suffer any hardships.â
Before waiting for the class leader to speak her doubts, I continued to speak:
âConversely, if you do believe in an afterlife, then regardless of religion, a sick puppy is free of sins. After it dies, it can go to the heavens and enjoy paradise. It might even be watching you from the skies, so why show him your sad face?â
My words may have stirred up emotions as the class leader sniffed and covered her eyes.
âYe Lin, you⦠actually thought a lot about life and death. I underestimated youâ¦â
Actually, the one who thought about life and death was my dad! Why would I think about the world after death as a 14 year old? But I guess itâs good if the class leader thinks Iâm complex.
The class leader took a breath of the cool and crisp air, then sighed: âIâm not as open-minded as you. I go and visit the dog every week and itâs already become a habit. If I suddenly change my habitâ¦â
Itâs the same for me. Even now when I have leftover bones, I always think if I should bring it home for my dog, but then I realize we no longer have a dog at home. An indescribable feeling was stuck inside me, so I could only smile bitterly.
If someone else heard about the class leaderâs current state, they might recommend the class leader to raise another dog, but I donât have the right to make that recommendation.
The healthiest dog will at most live ten plus years, so after that amount of time, the class leader will once again feel the pain of losing her dog. And the longer youâre together, the more pain you would feel, since being together everyday would have become a habit.
So I recommended the class leader to stop volunteering at the pet hospital. She could find a different hobby or even use her free time to get some more rest.
The class leader didnât reply but asked: âYou like dogs, right?â
âA bit.â I made my sure appear as indifferent as possible, âAs long as they donât bite, then I would feed them if I had food on me.â
âThen have you raised a dog at home?â
I really wanted to avoid her question, but I needed to comfort her and I also said I had a similar experience. So I sighed and told her about my dog and how he died of illness.
I rarely tell people that story, maybe itâs because I think they wouldnât understand how I felt. But I finally felt like I could tell everything to the class leader and get rid of the sadness in my heart. I even told the class leader about how I buried my dog in the garden with my own hands.
I might have accidentally said too much, so I turned my head away in embarrassment.
âSo thatâs whyâ¦â The class leader nodded, âNow everything makes sense.â
It wasnât raining that hard, but the class leader got a bit closer to me. I felt like because we had similar experiences, our minds was also closer.
At around 8:30, after walking around in the rain, I safely sent the class leader home.
When we opened the door, Shu Zhe was was sitting the living room eating KFC takeout while watching TV. He didnât even notice his sisterâs grieving expression, he glanced at her and asked:
âSister, where did you go after school? I called you and you didnât pickup. I was starving but I didnât even have anything to eat, so I could only order some takeout.â
âI had some stuff to do, so I came home late.â The class leader said apologetically to her brother.
Shu Zheâs tone really made me angry. I walked in quickly and gave Shu Zhe a scare, then I said to him:
âYour sister was at a pet hospital taking care of a dog that just passed away. Sheâs feeling down right now, whatâs wrong with taking care of your own dinner? And youâre still complaining to your sister?â
Shu Zhe only just realized the grief on his sisterâs face, but as someone who didnât love animals, he couldnât understand his sister.
âBro Ye Lin and sis, really? It was only an animal that died, itâs not like I died, why are you so serious? Just buy another one.â
I rolled up my sleeves in anger, then I pointed to Shu Zhe and asked the class leader: âCan I hit him?â
âDonât, he didnât do it on purpose.â The class leader stopped me, âEveryone has different perspectives. Xiao Zhe just doesnât like animals.â
Shu Zhe quickly escaped to his room and took his KFC with him before I could change my shoes.
He escaped pretty quickly.
I thought if the class leader went directly to the pet hospital after school, that means she hasnât eaten yet.
âClass leader, you havenât eat yet, right? How about I help you go out and buy some food?â
âNo, itâs fine. You already helped me a lot today and I can just cook some noodles at home.â
She might have said that, but who knows if she would actually eat something or just go to sleep after I leave.
I decided to volunteer: âI could also cook noodles. If you donât mind, Iâll help you cook some noodles with eggs. Youâre the main force of the volleyball team for tomorrow, it would be bad if you donât eat or get a good nightâs rest.â
The class leader had already cried for a long time before I got to the hospital, so she seemed to be really tired. She didnât think it was a good idea, but then she thought about it and graciously accepted my offer.
Ah, I can finally cook noodles for her like I said a while back, but I have to cook and not think about dirty jokes. (TN: Cooking noodles also sound the same as the lower half of your body so it could mean Iâll feed you my lower half, was a pun from a looong way back)