Chapter 90 – Defense Strategy 2.0

Who would watch an AV with you! If Auntie Ren caught me watching an AV with her daughter, my miserable 14 years of life would come to an end! (TN: Using AV for adult video/adult film)

Good thing the old man realized that it was too loud, so he lowered the volume.

After the sound of the AV disappeared, Xiao Qin’s mood evidently became better.

“That’s right! With a girlfriend like me, you don’t need any AVs!”

Her as a matter of fact tone of voice really irritated me.

“Who said you were my girlfriend! Aren’t you being too arrogant? Do you really believe you can compare your washboard chest to those of an AV actress?”

After I poked her sore spot, Xiao Qin wailed like a small animal.

“Boo hoo~~~~(gt;_lt;), Ye Lin classmate looks down on others! Even though it’s small now, it’ll definitely grow big in the future! Also, since you turned off the AV, doesn’t that mean I’ve won this battle?”

“How did you win?” I asked in astonishment.

“Isn’t it pretty evident! Ye Lin classmate needed an AV to comfort himself, but now just the sound of my voice is enough!”

Who is rubbing one out to the sound of your voice? Do you think your home phone number is a sex hotline!

I was so upset that I didn’t say anything, Xiao Qin saw that I didn’t see anything so she cautiously asked:

“What? Is it because of my bad behavior, so it disappointed you?”

“I’m sorry! Ye Lin classmate turned off the AV because you had high hopes for me! But,… because of my lack of experience, I couldn’t satisfy you!”

“You must be feeling pretty bad, right? You accumulated a lot of desire, yet you can’t release it…is it because I didn’t work hard enough?”

I asked in a foul mood: “How would you work hard enough?”

Xiao Qin momentarily hesitated.

“Even though I’m useless in your eyes, but emulating the wailing screams of AV actresses is probably something I can do…”

Damn those are moans, not wailing screams! Also, you would do such degrading things? Moaning while calling a male classmate, is definitely not proper conduct and should be reported to the parents!

I should just record your moans and exchange it with your recording.

Never mind, if I think about it, I already have twenty photos of Xiao Qin. (Last time when I went to her house to fix her computer, and she gave it to me under the pretense it was my toys) If I record the sound of her moans, maybe it’ll be of use in the future.

It would be perverted enough if I already had a few erotic dreams of her. I would be at a point of no return if I rubbed one out while sitting in a pile of her pictures listening to her moans.

She didn’t want to back down.

“Ye Lin classmate, when I call you, how should I address you?”

What else can you call me? Do as you usually would, you’ll probably call me something like ‘Ah Lin’, ‘Xiao Lin’, or something extremely cheesy like brother Lin.

“Un…it’s a bit embarrassing, should I call you husband or master?”

“Where did you learn these things that are not suitable for kids! Don’t even mention your mom, even if your dad knew, he would be disappointed to the point of tears!”

Ah, I accidentally mentioned her father in front of her. As kids from single-parent families, when she hears the word, father, she will probably react the same way when I hear mother.

As I worried about her feelings, unexpectedly she declined in a loud voice.

“Definitely not! I’ll never call you father! That’s too perverted!”

When did you hear me say that I want you to call me father! Although I was just tricked by you and called you Auntie, I don’t want revenge and want you to call me father.

The old man stuck out have his head from his room, “Xiao Lin, I think I heard you call me?”

No one called you! We were discussing someone else’s father! Hurry and scram back into your room to watch your AV!

My dad’s baritone voice has always been considered loud. His pronunciation was correct, and enunciation was also crystal clear. He even placed first in a reading contest when he was in university.

That’s why Xiao Qin heard our discussion, and she knew there wasn’t much distance between us.

“Uncle, uncle!” Xiao Qin started to wildly holler and her voice almost made me deaf.

“Hurry and take control of your son! He’s forcing his own girlfriend to call him father!”

“He’s only 14 years old yet he has such a perverted Hobby. What if we have a daughter in the future, how can I let him help me take care of her?”

“Also he had the gall to watch AV while you were at home…what blatant disregard for elders! Please teach him a lesson!”

“Oh right, I still haven’t introduced myself I’m your future daughter-in-law…”

I fiercely hung up the phone. Then I quickly added her phone number to the ignore list. I set it so that I could call her but she couldn’t call me.

Although it doesn’t completely solve the problem, it does significantly lower the chances of my dad talking to her.

Ultimately, it’s because I’m too embarrassed by my dad.

If he wasn’t the owner of an adult goods shop and he wasn’t an AV commentator for the ‘HHH Enthusiasts Club’, but rather a teacher at a university, I would be proud to introduce him to others.

Maybe there was a bit of vanity involved, but I knew he was different from director Cao, my dad was not a natural-born pervert.

Director Cao took joy in his own corruption, where he would make a business out of shameful activities. Whereas my dad used it as an narcotic to numb himself.

Through watching AV you can discover art, through reading H manga you can discover philosophy. When other people are throwing away their used tissues, the old man was sprawled across the table writing a review, this was not normal.

If Mom did not leave him, he probably would have stuck with that simple romantic relationship till the end of time.

In contrast, the reason for Director Cao’s divorce was because he got a STD when visiting a prostitute in Japan. (Of course, he’s cured now) That’s why his wife filed for divorce.

I remember when I was watching the ‘Fullmetal Alchemist’. When I saw the ‘gate of truth’, I was puzzled by the plot, thus I asked my dad what exactly was truth.

My dad who was reading a scientific magazine was very interested in the question. But he said that others cannot tell you what truth is, it’s something that you have to find yourself.

I said that I didn’t know alchemy, I also didn’t have a leg, an arm, and a brother to use as sacrifice. Where would I go to find truth?

He laughed, it wasn’t a vulgar laugh, but a laugh of a wise man, a laugh that I have not seen for a while. He patted my head and said:

“Xiao Lin, truth is everywhere. The main point is whether you want to find it or not. If you truly want to find it, then you would find it even in a pile of shit.”

I didn’t understand the phrase, but I thought it was pretty cool, so I remembered it.

Now I realized, my dad was still searching for truth at the lowest point of his life. Every time he watches an AV, every time he reads a H manga, he’s looking for truth between the pixels or lines.

In short, he’s searching for an answer.

Which is: Why did mom leave him?

My father who has understood many truths, chose to be trapped by his emotions. He would rather self destruct than let go.

It’s a constant reminder for me of the destructive nature of women.

An enemy can change your fate and damage your body, but as long as you persist, you will become stronger.

But when it comes to women, they can make you turn into something that you’ll no longer recognize.

I don’t want to walk down the same path that my dad took. Sometimes I thought it would be cool to get an STD from a prostitute like director Cao.

At least you don’t have to love others, and you don’t have to be loved. Regardless of how difficult sexual diseases are to cure, it’s still easier to cure than a broken heart.

Now that I think about it, am I taking Xiao Qin too seriously? Because I didn’t want to follow in my dad’s footsteps, that’s why I fought back against Xiao Qin’s advances.

Perhaps I should learn from director Cao and be a fickle person (at least on the outside)? That way wouldn’t she automatically leave me?

It seems like a great idea! I thought of another excellent idea! I’m so smart!

The only question is, how do I act like a womanizer? Since I’m very fickle in love, I should have three or four wives, I should have a harem!

But the problem is when I’m chasing a girl, what if she likes me, wouldn’t that be bad?

The plan would only work if I can find a girl that would never like me.

Does such a person exist? If I think carefully, aren’t my worries needless? My actions are vile and my appearance repugnant, other than Xiao Qin, there shouldn’t be a single girl in the class who likes me.

Regardless if it’s Gong CaiCai, P.E. member little bear, literature member Zhuang Ni, or the class leader, all of them should be in the category of people who doesn’t like me.

If I pretend to chase after them, they would hate me even more. That way Xiao Qin would be completely disappointed in me and she would leave for good!

What a great idea! No wonder I’m my dad’s son! This idea that can only be thought of by someone with over 250 IQ!

What’s next is how to carry out the plan. I’m lacking experience, so I should take it slow, and take time planning.

Also, my dad criticized me saying it was rude to hang up the phone especially if it was a girl. It would be difficult to find your other half.

How foolish, did you think I would be like you and try to find my other half! Today I’ve decided to be a womanizer! I would be the worst human scum! Any girl that I come into contact with would hate me!

Thus I wouldn’t have to get entangled with romantic relationships and I can just be myself. I could just be Sparta!

Since Xiao Qin already misunderstood that the class leader was her rival in love, should I just do the experiment with the class leader?

Wouldn’t it be half the work? It would be much more effective! In addition, the class leader has been treating me strange lately, but as the class leader, she definitely can’t disobey the ‘100 rules that prohibits male female relationships’.

Of course everything has to be done in front of Xiao Qin, otherwise it would be pointless.

I forgot to ask earlier, I don’t even know if she’ll be at school tomorrow.