Real princess clothes...

Coffee on the balcony was very eventful that morning.

"NOOOOO!" JJ said as he paced. "Miss Behave. That bitch."

"Maybe you guys could become friends." Bruce burst out laughing and I quickly followed. "Maybe you could do a duet together," Bruce added in between more laughter.

"It's not funny."

"It's hysterical," I clarified.

"No, this won't do. This won't do at all." JJ said and walked off to his room.

Bruce and I were left alone to imagine the antics that would ensue when Ben's brother came to visit.

"He'll probably pull a Mission Impossible and climb the walls to try get a look inside that apartment," Bruce said.

"I would pay good money to see that."

"So you and Ben huh? Jogging? Pancakes?"

"Just friends," I said firmly.

"Yeah right." Bruce studied my face, probably looking for a sign of something telling. "Why don't you just go out with him?"

I shook my head. "I can't. Not with all the shit in my life. Remember what happened with the last guy."

Bruce looked unconvinced. "You know, some people don't care where you came from. Some of us don't care that you lived in a trailer park and that you're 'trailer trash.' Some of us think that makes you a better person than ninety-nine point nine percent of the people out there in the world who don't know what it's like to struggle to rise above your circumstances."

I hung my head. "I don't know."

"You should give it a go."

"Do you know what all my colleagues think of people like me?" I asked. "Whenever we make a TV or radio ad one of the first things everyone says is, who is the target market? What LSM are they? How much money do they have?"

LSM meant Living Standard Measurement, and, every time the ad was for anything lower than LSM 5, everyone started joking about having to "dumb it down." Little did they know, they had an LSM lower than 5 sitting at the same table as them.

"You of all people should know how judgmental and cruel people can be," I said to Bruce.

He nodded. "Perhaps. But if you don't give it a try, you'll never know."

"Maybe."

"It doesn't even have to be a formal date. Start by knocking on his door. Take some pizza around or something, whatever. Or just pop in to say hi," Bruce said.

"I'll think about it."

Bruce gave me a smile, patted me on the leg and got up. "Time to console JJ."

***

I didn't see Ben the whole day at work. He was out at meetings. I was actually grateful for this because it gave me the whole day to think about what Bruce had said, and I allowed my mind to wonder, to imagine what it would be like to actually go on a date with him.

But not seeing Ben in the office didn't mean he was absent.

"So I think Samantha is going after him." Ness said, sidling up to me conspiratorially.

"Who?"

"Ben. You should have seen her yesterday, practically throwing herself at him. She was basically dry humping his desk"-Ness had a way with words.

Vampira had obviously tuned her hearing for the word "Ben" because she was at the desk in seconds-Had she flown here?

"Slut."

Ness and I both turned and stared at her. She was wearing an unusual amount of black eyeliner that day and her lips were stained a very dark mauve.

"Barbie doll slut." That was all she said before she slunk off again back to her seat in the shadows from whence the intriguing creature came.

Ness turned to me. "She's obviously talking about Samantha right?"

"Yup. I'm pretty sure she is."

But the conversation disturbed me. I know I had no claim over him. Eating pancakes together-and God, I wasn't going to tell anyone at work about that-didn't mean I should feel anything about who was coming onto him. But I kind of did. It bothered me. A lot. Samantha was gorgeous. She was talented, creative and men flocked to her. There was no way she wouldn't be able to charm the pants off Ben-they came down pretty quickly as far as I remember. The fact that all the woman in the office wanted him, and would probably continue to throw themselves at him for all eternity, just complicated things.

I was still mulling the whole "to knock, or not to knock" thing over in my head when I got home hours later. It had been an early Friday, so it gave me the opportunity to go to my special thinking place, so I could think in some more torturous circles.

My apartment has a huge beautiful garden attached to it and at the very end is a bench under an enormous tree. I sometimes go there to sit and think when I need alone time. But when I got there this time, I wasn't alone. A young girl, not more than five years old, dressed in a pink tutu and tiara was sitting under the tree holding a tea party with her teddy bear. I'd never seen her before. She looked up at me and smiled and I was quite taken aback by how pretty she was.

She was Asian with pretty eyes and silky black hair. Her face was perfectly round and I could see she had attempted to put on lipstick-It actually looked more like bright pink paint, and it was taking up the bottom half of her face. I smiled back at her.

"Looks like a lovely tea party," I finally said, sitting down on the bench next to her.

"Here," she said and poured me an imaginary cup of tea, which I took and drank.

"Mmm...delicious...thanks, and I like your outfit."

"My daddy bought it for me. He said a princess should have real princess clothes."

I smiled at her. "He sounds like a smart man."

"He is. The smartest."

Then she leaned in and whispered to me. "I'm allowed to play in the garden all by myself now without my nanny," she said before looking around quickly. "She thinks I don't see her, but I do. She's hiding over there," she said, gesturing to the far side of the garden where, sure enough, a nanny was hovering in the distance trying not to look in our direction.

"Wow, you've very smart," I said.

She nodded proudly. "I'm turning five very soon. But I'm not really meant to talk to strangers, my dad says, and you're a stranger, even though you're a pretty one. I probably shouldn't really be talking to you."

"Your dad's right. You mustn't talk to strangers, so I'll leave you here to have your tea."

I stood up and started walking away. She called after me.

"My name is Li-Hau," she said.

"That's a very pretty name."

"It was my granny's name. Daddy says she's resting in a far away beautiful, magical land where she is very happy and not sick anymore. He says I can still talk to her if I want because she is always listening and still loves me."

"Your dad sounds like a wise man."

"My name means pearl blossom," she said enthusiastically.

"Lovely"-I couldn't imagine a better name for her.

"What's your name?" she asked. I was about to tell her when she stopped me. "You look like your name should be Snow White."

"Snow White it is then."

"Now we're not strangers," the little girl said triumphantly.

I smiled at her. "You've very clever."

"Daddy says so too, but he says being a nice person is more important."

I actually sighed out loud. Who was this child's father? Dad of the year? He sounded like he should have an Olympic gold medal in parenting.

"He's right again!"

She suddenly jumped up. "I better go inside so I can be responsible."

"Do you live here?" I asked. I hadn't seen her before, but people were constantly moving in and out of the building.

"No. I'm just visiting." And with that she picked up her things and skipped off.

Oh to be a child again without a care and a worry in the world.

I watched her as she disappeared and was left feeling a little empty inside, thinking about my own "father of the year." She reminded me of all the things that I hadn't had in life and how my circumstances had caused me to not trust getting close to people. I didn't really have any friends, other than the guys. It dawned on me that, if I continued to go through life like that, I would be letting my father win-Maybe getting to know Ben wouldn't be the worst thing.

Later that evening I told JJ and Bruce about my encounter with the Princess in the garden-They are always game for anyone who wears tutus. They both ooohhhed and aaaahhed at all the appropriate parts.

"Forget Ben, where can I get me a dad like hers?" JJ said.

"JJ, the guy is married with a daughter."

"How old is the kid?" he asked.

"Five."

"Then he's definitely divorced. All straight people get divorced."

I laughed. "That is such a generalization."

"And all Asian men are hot," he added.

"Another generalization," I quipped.

"Besides, you can't go out with Ben now that we know who his brother is!"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "He's been talking about this all day."

I stood up and started walking towards the door.

"Hey," JJ called out, "Where you going?"

"To work!"

"Oh, good. Don't let me catch you knocking on that next-door neighbor's door." He waved a threatening finger at me.

Bruce slapped him on the arm. "Don't listen to him. Go and knock."

"Bye guys. See you later."

"Traitor!" JJ called out after me.