That picture is skew...

Several extremely puzzling thoughts were running through my mind as I stood there staring at him-okay, the lower half of him. I mean, he was wearing the exact same underwear from my dream, how was that even possible?- I closed my eyes a few times and opened them again to make sure he was really there. I pinched my cheeks too, but he was still there. This wasn't a dream.

But why was he there? Was he really my new neighbor? Could such an insane coincidence really have taken place? Why was he doing home improvements in his underpants? And why in the middle of the night?-Inconsiderate!-I didn't even know where to begin my line of questioning, so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"That picture is skew," I said, pointing at the framed picture on the wall behind him.

Ben climbed down the ladder slowly and walked right up to me. He turned to face the wall and looked. "I believe you're right. Thanks."

He climbed back up the ladder and readjusted the picture-I'm not even going to even try and explain what Ben looks like when he climbs a ladder in his underwear - there are just no words in any dictionary, in any modern or ancient language that will do the spectacle justice.

Once he'd straightened the picture, he turned, sat on the top step, crossed his legs and looked at me as if he was totally unperturbed. As if he was somehow totally separate from reality and on his own weird wavelength. It was as if nothing about the current situation was even vaguely bizarre to him. I opened my mouth a few times to try and say something, but I just ended up staring at him as he pulled a cigarette out from behind his ear, lit it, took a drag and let the smoke tumble seductively out his mouth. I suddenly pictured this moment being captured by a photographer in black and white and hung in some French gallery for a whole bunch of wanky, pretentious people to admire and appreciate as modern art.

"You shouldn't smoke," I finally managed. "It's bad for you," I said this even though I was totally transfixed by it. It took the whole bad boy thing he had going on to an entirely different level.

"So they say," he said as he took the cigarette from his mouth and put it out on the top step of the ladder and stepped back down towards me.

"It's winter," I added. "You should put clothes on"-Another fricking stupid thing to say.

"Yes, Mom." He said as he again stepped towards me, prowling like a wild animal about to pounce. I had a momentary lapse in sanity when my eyes met his, my mouth opened and a little breathy sound came out.

Snap out of it!

"Okay. Stop. Stop right there. Stop that walking-or whatever that is-that you're doing-immediately." I pointed at him.

He stopped and smiled.."Yes, M'am."

"Ahhhhh," I gasped out loud and slapped my hands over my mouth in total shock-he'd said that in my dream too. Maybe Vampira was onto something here, that he was indeed a vampire-person-thing with supernatural powers able to manipulate my dreams.

"Stay back." I said, fully aware that I looked like a crazed woman backing away from a rabid dog, but if I didn't keep him at bay, I was almost certain he would have me bent over that ladder-and I probably wouldn't object.

Ben burst out laughing and held his arms in the air like he was under arrest-images of handcuffs flashed through my mind.

"So how long did it take you to find me?" he asked.

"I beg your pardon?"

"To find me? Have you been running around the city knocking on doors looking for me all night?" He flashed me an iceberg-melting smile.

"What! NO! You think I've been looking for you?" Again I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing. Ben was definitely the most arrogant, cocky and self-assured person I'd ever met-God it was hot. "I can assure you I haven't."

"Joking again, Sera."

"Oh. Right." Thanks to all the distracting hot nakedness, I'd almost forgotten why I'd come here in the first place. "Well forgive me if I don't have a sense of humor at two in the morning after being woken up by a drill in my ear," I said with as much venom as possible.

He watched me for a few seconds while some cogs turned in his head, "You live there?" He pointed to the wall looking genuinely shocked. "Seriously? You live there?"

"Yes, on the other side of the wall you've been drilling into for the past half hour."

Ben blinked a few times before bursting out laughing, a big hearty laugh. "Well it's official," he said. "I'm never going to be able to sleep again knowing that only a few inches separate us."

I swallowed hard, and my breath caught in my throat as I too pondered the implications.

"Some people at the office think you don't sleep anyway," I said, trying to steer the conversation in another direction.

"Really? What else do people think?" he asked with a knowing smile, as if he was used to such rumors and stories.

I debated whether to say it or not but decided I would so he would know that I knew what kind of man he was. "I heard you slept with all the women in your last office."

A tiny smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he ran his hands through his hair. "I think that's a slight exaggeration." His voice was all whispery and sexy again and I slid one of my feet backwards.

"What do you think?" he asked as he met my eyes.

"About what?"

"What do you think about me?"

"Um..." His question caught me off guard. "What do you mean?"

He'd started walking forward again, and I continued my backwards shuffle.

"Be careful of that box," he said, pointing behind me just as I was about to walk into it. But I kept on going, retreating while he continued moving forward.

"You walk backwards a lot," he finally said with another smile that could melt the entire polar ice cap.

"Well, you walk forwards a lot"-Great retort, Sera. Real genius one there!

"So what do you think of me, Sera?"

I stopped walking, considering that this might actually be a great opportunity to re-draw my line in the sand. I could make it quite clear to him that we would never have sex again-although I'm sure I would be tempted-and again make it clear that things should remain professional at all times- despite the unprofessional images flashing through my mind right now.

"Honestly?" I asked.

"One hundred percent."

"Okay. I think you're arrogant."

He nodded. "I've heard that before."

"And cocky."

He nodded again.

"And you're clearly a flirt. You've got all the women in the office whipped-"

He cut me off, "Do I have you whipped?"

I tisked loudly. "Absolutely not."

"Anything else?"

I collected myself. "You're obviously very good at what you do," I said. "And you seem very professional-like me-I'm sure we will become very good colleagues."

"I'm sure we will," he said, folding his arms and leaning against the doorway in that cool, relaxed I-don't-give-a-crap-way-Still in his underwear I might add.

"Um...I have to go now. Early meeting, you know. Need my sleep."

His demeanor changed somewhat. "Right. I really am sorry for waking you. The landlord-what a flaming weirdo that guy is by the way," he said, suddenly seguing and I couldn't help but chuckle. "I thought he was going to strip search me when I came into the building."

"He's pretty mad, wait until you come to the next body corporate meeting..." I stopped myself mid sentence. I didn't want to encourage more conversation.

"I bet!" Ben smiled again. Nothing melted that time but it gave me warm fuzzy feelings. "Anyway, he said the neighbors were a gay couple, so I assumed there'd be no children staying in the second bedroom."

"Nope. I stay there." I said as I continued to walk towards the door.

"Well, sorry again, Sera."-Stop saying my name. Stop saying my name.

I gave him one last little nod as I walked into the corridor.

"Sera," he called after me. "Please close the door behind you."-Is this sounding familiar?

"Sure," I called back without turning around.

"And Sera..." He called again. "Go out with me?"

I stopped dead in my tracks as his words stunned me into some strange silence. I paused for a moment before swiveling around and looking at him.

"What did you say?"

"Dinner? I'm a really good cook."

I shook my head involuntarily. "Sorry? What?"

"A date. Go out with me?" He smiled again-more warm fuzzies.

"I don't think so."

"Why not?" He started walking towards me again, but this time I didn't move-couldn't move-my feet felt like they'd frozen into the floor. He walked all the way up to me, stopped and then placed his body casually against the wall in another lethal lean-He does a lot of leaning.

"Why not?"

"Well, firstly, you're my boss, and secondly, I don't date."

"I don't believe that."

It was true actually. I didn't date. My life was so complicated already that there was hardly any space for it. Certainly no time. And anyone who got involved with me would need to know about my family and all the craziness they brought, not to mention the tiresome responsibilities that came with them. My last boyfriend hadn't been able to handle all the very regular drama.

"I don't." I said firmly. "And certainly not my boss."

"Well..." The word came out slowly and deliberately. "I look forward to trying to change your mind then." Again, he seemed so unperturbed by everything, as if he existed in an alternate universe that obeyed a different set of physical laws. He spoke with an absolute confidence that was both sexy and slightly scary.

"Not going to happen."

"Wait and see."

I was almost about to exit when a sudden thought stopped me in my tracks.

Out of all the women he could choose? All the women that are a million times hotter and far, far cooler than me? I wasn't one of those cool, creative, tattooed uber-cool chicks, I was just...me. A little bit plane and normal.

"Why me?" I turned at glared at him. "Why me?"

"I told you already. I'm totally in love."

I burst out laughing-He was obviously fucking with me. "Does that line really work on women?" I felt all fired up now and stepped back inside. "Oh babe, you're the best," I said, imitating him now in my best arrogant man voice. "Yeah, you're so sexy it's killing me, babe. You're so beautiful. I need you. I want you. How many other women have you pulled those lines on?"

Ben suddenly swooped forward, looking more serious than I had ever, ever seen him. "None!" He was emphatic and it stopped my heart.

Sorry?

"I never say things I don't mean."

I looked at him, trying desperately to size him up. He sounded and looked completely serious-But how could he be? I had absolutely no idea what to make of him-At all.