To quote Vampira again...

It took four tries that morning to start my car, and I had a sinking feeling that she was going to pack it in and call it a day pretty soon. She was at least twenty years old and pretty worse for wear- not to mention a bilious shade of yellow that meant she announced herself loudly wherever she went.

The petrol tank was also dangerously low. And just to add a little extra worry to the morning-on top of the whole strange Ben thing-I got an SMS from my sister:

Katie: Dad broke into the house this morning and found the money you sent me!

That terrible plunging feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. It always formed at any mention of my father.

In all my 21 years, the most shocking thing that had ever happened to me, the day my world fell apart, was the morning the bank and the sheriff showed up at our house.

Apparently we were being evicted.

My dad was out-as usual. We all knew where he was-that wasn't a secret. My mom looked shell-shocked, as usual. It was an expression she'd worn on her face for as long as I can remember. I was 15 at the time and my younger sister was only 11. I remember how terrified she was.

The bank was repossessing our house and my father had been aware of it for over six months. He hadn't bothered to mention to his family that he'd gambled the entire house away and spent the rest on prostitutes-we all knew he slept with them after a "big win".

They hauled us all out onto the pavement in front of all the neighbors while locks were changed and furniture was moved out. By the time they were all done, we were left with only our clothes, a few personal possessions, and an old rusty caravan that smelled of cheap perfume.

A ball of anxiety formed as I responded to my sister:

Sera: Bastard. Did you call the police on him?

Katie: I tried. Mom stopped me.

Another ball of anxiety formed. My mother was a huge part of the problem, still supporting my dad even though he was constantly unfaithful and had ruined all of our lives. Worse, I knew the implications of his latest theft. I sighed again.

Sera: When do you need to buy your textbooks?

My mother only had a part-time temp job, which barely covered food and basics around the house. She'd gotten pregnant young, and, back when my father was still vaguely sane, he'd supported the family, making her a stay-at-home mom.

So I was single-handedly putting my sister through school. Katie was smart, and I was not going to let our father ruin her life. I wanted more than anything to give her a fair shot. She had such potential. She wanted to be a surgeon, and had the marks for it, but med school is just about the most expensive thing you can do, but I was determined to see her do it. I wanted her to go to college and enter the working world without student loans that would cripple her for years to come-like me.

Katie: End of the week. Sorry. I put it in the safe you bought, but he stole it, too. I feel so bad that you have to send me money again.

Sera: DON'T. We've spoken about this. You're my little sis. I'll pick up some extra shifts at the restaurant. It's going to be okay. Love you.

Katie: XXX. You're the best.

If I'd been harboring any doubts-however small-about whether I could go on a date with Ben, this had just reinforced the fact that I had no space for anything like that in my life. My sister was my top priority, and, therefore, so was my job. My last boyfriend hadn't understood that or been able to cope with my family's constant drama. Driving out in the middle of the night to drag my dad out of a Casino, or pick him up off the pavement after security had kicked him out. Having to fetch him from the drunk tank the morning after, or worse, coming over to console my sobbing mother and pick her up off the floor when she'd "finally" kicked him out-again. My ex loathed the fact that I'd had to work every night of the week and had never had time for him. He accused me of putting everyone else first, including my job-Well of course I did! I had to.

JJ and Bruce were probably the only two people in the world that knew how bad things really were. They knew the full, nasty unedited truth of my life and I wanted to keep it that way. If it hadn't been for their help, my mom and sister would probably still be living in that trailer, borrowing cups of sugar from the Meth cooks next door. But thanks to my rent-free living arrangement, and the flexibility of taking on shifts at their restaurant whenever I wanted, I'd managed to move my mom and sister into a small garden cottage. But the landlords were getting pissed off. Thanks to my father's constant crap, they'd been threatening to kick them out. He wasn't actually living there at the moment, but between his late night arrivals, the drunken screaming he did when he was there and this latest breaking and entering, things weren't looking too good-When it rains, it pours.

I arrived at work after a thought-filled car ride and was shocked to find Ben already in the office. Usually, no one arrived before me, and I liked it that way. It gave me a chance to get on top of things before the usual chaos of the day descended in all its hellish glory. I also wouldn't have minded a moment to pull myself together before I had to engage with people. The SMS from my sister had thrown me.

He noticed me the second I walked in and he smiled. I reciprocated with something that could be called a smile and sat at my desk. I lowered my head, opened my laptop, grabbed some files, and slapped them down loudly. I was hoping to convey a sense of very important do-not-dare- disturb busyness. Obviously it didn't work. Within seconds he was sitting at the desk next to me-and smiling, DANGER!

"How was your jog this morning?"

"My what-" I almost forgot my lie. "Oh. My jog. Yeah! Great. Great. Mmmmm, really great. 20Ks clears the mind, you know"-What the hell am I saying? Do joggers really do 20Ks?

"20Ks. Impressive. You must be a serious pro."

Shit!-"Mmmmm." I nodded and picked up another do-not-dare-disturb prop which I used to staple some random papers together before slapping them down on my desk.

He sat and watched me as I opened my emails and answered a few, while I filed a few papers away-along with some more unnecessary stapling-and busied myself with my morning ritual, all the while trying to work out mathematically how much money I would need to make at the restaurant to buy my sister those books. But his stare was making me very uncomfortable and I wanted to turn and scream, "WHAT?!" But he was the boss.

"Is something wrong?" he finally asked.

"What?...No...Nothing. I'm fine. Just tired."

"No, it's something else."

I looked up at him, feeling annoyed that he was trying to pull a Freud on me. Actually, I was irritated that he'd even picked up on it. Clearly he was perceptive- most men weren't. He leaned over the desk and looked at me, a mixture of sex and charm and concern all rolled into a very expensive-looking dark grey vintage suit. I didn't like this. Especially when he reached out and tried to take my hand in a commiserative fashion, as if he knew me and understood what I was going through. But there was that look again-like he knew me. I pulled away quickly and cleared my throat.

I didn't want to do anything that would raise alarm bells and have him questioning me all day, and I certainly didn't want him to think I was the kind of employee that let her personal life interfere with work.

"It's something personal," I explained. "Nothing I can't deal with and nothing that will distract me from my job, I assure you."

He eyed me curiously. "That's not why I was asking you, Sera." Our eyes met, and once again something strange and intense and physically palpable hummed between us. Thankfully, Ness arrived at that exact moment.

She and I usually had a chatty cup of coffee before starting work, but all her usual happy chattiness was gone the second she saw Ben. She transformed into a swoony someone I did not recognize.

"Good morning, Ben," she said in a breathy whisper with the stupidest, girly smile plastered across her face.

She was not subtle and she looked at him perhaps a little too long before finally turning to me, "Sera." I tried not roll my eyes. Just another woman that had fallen victim to Ben's Voodoo charms.

"Morning, Vanessa."

"Ness," she corrected with a coy, girly smile that made me want to slap her into adulthood. I looked up at Ben and studied his interaction with her. He gave her a smile. Deadly. Iceberg melting.-What a flirtatious shit.

"Good morning, Ness." His voice sounded super-friendly and enthused. Too enthused-What a bastard. I was right about him. He was like this with all the girls. He was just your average, run-of-the-mill man-whore.

I couldn't help it, but I actually felt a bolt of ugly jealously rush through me. Ness sat down and I took the opportunity to look across at Ben again. He was staring at me and then flashed me a smile-A secondhand smile? I glared at him in utter disapproval before looking away and unnecessarily flicking a pen to the other side of my desk-Not the most mature move, I'll admit.

He looked at me as if he was slightly confused and then got up and walked away.

I looked after him feeling.....

....feeling what?