Chapter 1: HUGE X3: Chapter 1

My name is Katelin and I have a secret. It’s something that no one knows about me. Something that no one will ever find out. Well, only if they manage to crack the super difficult password for my Kindle and peruse my reading material.

Even the thought of that sends a shiver of mortification down my spine.

I know that you know exactly what I mean. There are so many amazing sexy romance novels out there, packed with dreamy book-boyfriends that never do annoying things like drone on about sport or forget your birthday. I can get lost for hours with an alpha or a bad boy, a charmer or a rogue and I do, regularly. Maybe too regularly. Maybe that’s why I’ve been single for a while and haven’t even really been bothered about it. Well, not really.

My latest book downloads have all had an extra twist. I feel weird admitting to reading more ménage romances since my best friend Carrie hooked up with her hotter than fire twin stepbrothers. I mean, I always thought they were cute, and well, the rumors about their dimensions and proclivities didn’t pass me by, but actually contemplating a relationship involving more than one man was out of my realm of thinking until a couple of years ago. Now, I can’t seem to get it out of my head. Twins, brothers, friends. It doesn’t really matter as long as they know how to treat their woman. And I’m not talking bunches of flowers on Valentine’s Day. I’m talking hot and dirty sex and more orgasms than you can shake a stick at.

The trouble is that, while Carrie seems to have hit the jackpot, the opportunities for multiple-love style relationships are not exactly presenting themselves. In fact, I’ve been struggling to find even one dude that can get my motor running. The pickings are slim in my town and getting slimmer with every year that passes. The good ones have been snapped up or have left for jobs in faraway cities. So when Abigail asks me if I want to join her for a night out, it’s not really surprising that I’m not jumping at the chance.

Abigail can be very persuasive, though.

So, here I am with an old song buzzing around in my head. It’s by Cyndi Lauper, I think. I’m curling my hair and half singing ‘girls just wanna have fun, oh girls just wanna have fun’, over and over. It’s true. We do. Fun, fun, fun. If only it was that easy to find.

The half singing is my way of psyching myself up for the night out that I really don’t want to be going on. It’s not that I’m a party pooper or anything. Ask my friend Carrie. I’m usually the first one on the dance floor and always the one who has to get dragged home, protesting loudly, at the end of the night.

The thing is, it’s been kind of different lately. Too many of my BFF’s have partnered up. First Jenna with her stepbrother Harrison, then Carrie with her stepbrothers Ethan and Nathan. Maybe that’s my problem. I don’t have a stepbrother to seduce me.

I need to get me a stepbrother!

Now, every time I go out, I feel like there’s something missing. I feel like I’m supposed to be somewhere else, doing something more grown up, or at least something involving way more sex. And not the passive ‘book reading’ kind. I want the swinging from the chandeliers, screaming with pleasure kind.

I feel like I’m getting left behind.

So here I am, putting on my game face, stroking on my reddest lipstick and fluffing my blonde curls so I can head down to the Red Devil for another night of pretending I’m having a good time and wondering whether there might just be a man out there who’s brave enough to pursue me.

As I pull on my cute leather jacket, and part the drapes to see if Abigail’s outside, I wonder if Bryan will be there.

We’ve had this strange thing going on for a couple of years that’s kind of become a running joke between all our friends. I could have sworn he was interested in me. Carrie had the inside information from Eth and Nath that he was, but nothing ever happened. To be honest, I’m not one for chasing men. I like to know that they are invested enough to make the effort. I don’t like to make myself easy to get. So I waited to see if he would make a move, and when he didn’t, I just assumed he wanted to be friends, or that maybe he had someone else on the down-low. The thing is, having a secret girlfriend for a few months is one thing, but it’s been years. I guess I’ve mostly given up on him, but my heart doesn’t seem to have been sent the memo by my brain. Rationally I know there’s no point in pining after him but I think the small feeling that was originally just a silly crush has morphed into something way more serious. Something that hurts when I think about it too much.

I may not know a lot about love, but I know it’s not supposed to do that.

Abigail presses the horn outside and I call to mom that I’m on my way out. She’s glued to the phone as usual, and the way she’s smiling leads me to think that she’s chatting to a boyfriend. I love my mom, but I draw the line at gossiping with her about her personal life. I think she’s been with the same guy for a while, but we made a rule that she’d keep things separate from her home life until it was something important to her, and by important I mean marriage. I guess the fact that I’ve never met the current man in her life means that he hasn’t graduated to ‘important’ yet.

Abi has an amazing car; a Mercedes convertible that was a twenty-first birthday gift from her Godfather. We drive to the venue, chatting away as usual. My mind is somewhere else, and maybe she can tell because she puts on some music to keep the mood light. All the way I feel a strange sense of anticipation that I can’t really explain. Then a song comes on the radio that reminds me of Auntie Marie. It’s an old song that I think is from the 70s. She used to sing it all the time when she’d babysit for me. When I finally got around to asking her what the words meant, she told me that it was about opening your eyes to see what life has to offer. She never explained why she liked it so much so I’ll never know, but I wonder if it was because of how her mom passed away when she was a teenager. It’s not the best song for me to hear when I’m already struggling to get in the mood, but as we pull up outside the club I rub the frown from my forehead and force a smile. If I’m going in there, it’s going to be with my game face on.

The doorman is friendly when we arrive, letting us in with a wink and a smile. We’re such regulars he must secretly be sick of the sight of us. The music is pounding as usual and I feel the familiar urge to dance, as though the beat seeps into my bones and becomes a part of me. Light’s flash above the crowd and I scan for familiar faces. There’s no one on the dance floor but on the edge, at our usual tables, I think I see Bryan. My heart skips a little as it always does, then I curse myself for still feeling that frisson of attraction when he’s so obviously not interested in me. It takes a couple of seconds for me to realize the dude I’m looking at isn’t him. He just really looks like him.

“Shall we get some drinks, or you wanna dance first?” Abigail shouts over the music.

“Drinks,” I say because I definitely need something to pick me up.

I order us Red Devil cocktails, and two shots of tequila each. Abigail knocks her shots back first and then guzzles the cocktail. I drink the other way around, savoring the sweetness of fruit before swallowing the bitter liquor. Maybe it says something about me, that I always choose the easy path first and swallow the bitter pill last.

“Did you chat to Carrie?” Abigail asks.

“Yeah. She’s getting tired now. She said something about swollen ankles and feeling exhausted all the time.”

Abi raises her eyebrows. “I think that’s probably less to do with the pregnancy and more to do with the twins.”

We laugh, because damn! The thought of my sweet friend Carrie keeping those two huge men happy is sometimes too much for me to take on board. She does it with a big smile on her face, though. I mean, who wouldn’t.

I swivel on my stool and gaze out across the club again, eyes seeking out Bryan even if I don’t want to admit it myself. Instead, I catch eyes with the guy who looks so much like Bryan I do a double take. He’s smiling at me, across the dance floor, like a Cheshire cat. I can see he has dimples from this distance and they do something so powerful to my insides that I think my ovaries have combusted.

“Check out Bryan, looking at you like he wants to eat you all up.” Abigail laughs.

“That isn’t Bryan,” I say and Abigail does an identical double take. “And anyway, if he wanted to eat me, he’s going about it all the wrong way.”

“Oh my god, is that Bryan’s secret twin?” she gasps.

“I have no idea! It sure looks like him.”

Abigail stares some more and the dude waves us over, obviously mistaking our confused staring for flirting.

“Shall we go over?” she asks, looking very excited at the prospect.

“We could.”

“We should.” She giggles. “Anyway, I swear Bryan is just shy.”

“Shy? Am I so scary?”

She pauses for a moment, as though she has something difficult to say and she’s trying to come up with the best way of phrasing it. “Not scary, but maybe a little intimidating.”

I shrug. She’s probably right, but I’m not gonna change myself to get a man. My mom did that and it didn’t work out so well for her in the long run. “If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.”

“True, true. I think you’d burn him alive after all this time!”

“I don’t know about that. I’m over the whole thing. Even if he was interested, he’d have a lot of making up to do for all the years of jerking my chain.”

“Damn right.”

We smile at each other because there really is nothing better than having girlfriends who have your back no matter what. Even if you are blatantly lying to yourself! “Come on then. If Bryan isn’t interested, maybe I can snag myself a dude who is.” I try to sound enthusiastic, and I guess I am in a way. I don’t want to be the girl who spends all her time pining for a man whose attention is elsewhere, but I do like talking to Bryan. I like the way he puts his arm around me sometimes and I catch his scent. I like the way that he laughs at my jokes and his eyes sparkle. I like the way he always seems to remember what I tell him.

“I wonder who he is,” Abi says, sliding off her stool and adjusting her short pink mini-dress. She’s gone all out tonight. Even her lipstick and nails are coordinated.

“I have no idea but I guess we’re about to find out.”

I follow Abi around the edge of the dance floor, scanning the crowd for familiar faces. By the time we get to where Bryan’s doppelganger is sitting, I’ve waved to a few old acquaintances. The Red Devil will always feel like a second home.

“Hey, girls,” he says, getting to his feet. He’s tall. At least 6’ 2” and seriously gorgeous. I think I drool a little.

“You know, you seriously look like someone we know,” Abigail says, looking up at the slice of heaven standing in front of us.

“Yeah? You know my brother Jason?”

“No.” We both shake our heads.

“You talking about me?” a voice says from behind.

And then another clone appears. By this point, my mouth is hanging open.

“This is Jason,” the first guy says. “I’m Austin.”

“Wow,” Abi gasps.

“Two for the price of one,” I say in a dazed voice, then snap my mouth shut as I realize how that sounds. Austin and Jason are identical twins who bear a striking resemblance to Bryan.

They both laugh and smile, sporting gorgeous dimples and twinkly green eyes that are brighter than the sparkliest jade you ever saw.

Abi seems to have maintained at least one brain cell and introduces us.

“Hey, Katelin,” Jason says, leaning forward as though he wants to kiss me on the cheek. I’m totally not expecting it so we do this awkward fumble in the middle where neither of us knows which cheek to go for. We almost brush lips and when he finally does the air-kiss thing by my right ear I know my face is the color of a beetroot.

“Smooth, bro.” Austin laughs, reaching for my hand instead and pressing his lips to my skin in a kind of gallant way that doesn’t really fit with this century. His lips feel really soft on my skin and he dwells a little longer than I’m expecting, as though he’s inhaling the scent of me.

Abi gets an air kiss and a hand kiss too, and then we all stand around awkwardly. I’m usually cool with meeting strangers. I don’t really have a shy bone in my body, but something about facing Bryan’s carbon-copies has stolen my usual confidence. I can’t bear the silence, though. I have to fill it with some kind of conversation, however banal.

“So, where you from? Your accents aren’t from around here.”

“New York,” they say in unison. It reminds me of Carrie’s boyfriends Ethan and Nathan who always manage to either speak in synch or finish each other’s sentences. Another of those traits that Carrie refers to as a ‘twin thing’.

“Wow…this must be a bit of a culture shock.” I laugh, looking around at our small-town bar.

“Beer, music and dancing. We have those things in New York too.” Austin grins and I can’t help but smile too. He’s kind of cute with his mock-chivalry and sarcasm. I can dig that.

“And there was me thinking we were trend setting.”

“Sorry, guys. I’ve just seen someone I need to speak to.” Abi waves apologetically and heads into the crowd. I watch as she grabs the arm of a guy she knows from the coffee shop she works at. She’s had a thing for him for a while so I know not to expect her back too soon. I’m left hanging between two of the tallest men in the club. They’re like a couple of blond-topped pillars.

“And then there were three,” Austin says.

“Three is the magic number,” I blurt out. I definitely lost my brain cells at the bar or somewhere between their dimples and eyes. God, that sounded so flirty.

I catch the twins looking at each other. It’s a glance that I would have missed had I not been used to seeing Ethan and Nathan communicating silently so much. It’s a glance that sends shivers up my spine.

“Three is a magic number,” Austin says in his oh so sexy city accent. He runs his fingers through his messy blond hair and I almost swoon.

“Three’s a charm,” Jason says in a low voice.

“Three’s a crowd,” I mumble, self-conscious that I seem to have set ideas running in the minds of these two strangers. Ideas that have ignited my lady parts.

“Now whoever said that was an idiot,” Austin says. “You wanna dance, Katelin?”

For a moment, I don’t know what to do. Have you ever had a fantasy that you thought was only ever going to be that? Sometimes the things we dream are too extreme for our small, real lives. Our fantasies are too large and too life changing to go for. At least, that’s what I used to think. Then Auntie Marie told me something that rushes through my mind, right at that moment; ‘Don’t miss the chances that life throws at you. You get one chance to catch them. One moment to live out your dreams.’

That was just before she got too sick to speak. Maybe that’s why now, her words seem so loud and important.

There are moments in life where you just know that something big is about to happen, and this is one of those moments. So I say the only thing that would be right to say to an offer like that.

“I think I do.”

The boys smile and usher me forward, so I lead the way to the dancefloor, not looking back to check if they are following. There is something electric in the air, like stars aligning. I feel as though something in the universe is colluding to make my fantasies come true. I almost don’t want to turn around in case Austin and Jason have disappeared and I discover they were really just a figment of my extremely overactive imagination. When I’ve maneuvered myself into the center, I turn and to my absolute relief find both blond sex gods standing before me.

Time seems to slow and I almost hear classical music and see light streaming from the sky.

Twins.

Gorgeous twins, here in my small town bar.

Gorgeous twins who are looking at me with hungry eyes and wicked smiles.

I look to the sky (well, the nightclub ceiling that is covered with exposed pipes and lighting rigging) and say a silent ‘thank you’. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this blessing, but I wish I did because I’d be doing it over and over and over again for the rest of my damn life!

I smile at these manifestations of all my sexual imaginings and start to dance. The music is happy sounding with a pulsing beat, and the flashing lights make everything feel magical. I’m grateful for the liquid courage that Abi and I drank a few minutes ago. The alcohol sits like a warm balm in my stomach, so that when Austin starts to dance behind me, I don’t freeze up, but meld into him. Jason takes up position in front of me, grinning down as he starts to move.

All I can think is wow. I love a man who knows how to move his body. Men who know how to dance know how to fuck. At least that’s my experience.

“So, have you lived around here for long?” Austin asks, bending to speak directly into my ear.

“All my life.”

I turn so I’m dancing face to face with Austin, wanting to see his face as he talks.

“Do you come here a lot?”

“What do you think? It’s the only bar in town that isn’t filled with middle-aged men or alcoholics.”

“You’re really selling this town.”

“I don’t need to sell it,” I say, shrugging my shoulders. “You’re here already. It’s a bit late to be having second thoughts.”

“Oh, I never have second thoughts.” He runs his eyes over my body suggestively and I swear my nipples harden under his gaze. It’s something my dirty little books always say happens, but it’s a first for me.

Austin rests a hand on my hips. His palm is so big and heavy. This close I can see golden flecks around his irises, and the long lashes that make his eyes look so pretty.

“You’re very flirty.”

“You’re very pretty.”

“She sure is,” Jason whispers in my ear from behind. He rests his palm on my other hip and presses in closer.

I get a flash of another evening from a few years ago, when I watched my friend Carrie dance just like this, sandwiched between two gorgeous men. I was so jealous of her then. Of their attention and of the dazed look she had on her face as she became their focus. I didn’t know that she was interested in them then, but I totally understand how she felt now that I’m in the same situation. There’s something so unbelievably overwhelming about so much man. Two tall and strong bodies. Broad shoulders, narrow waists. Thighs that look about to burst through their fitted jeans.

I smirk as I realize they could be great casting for Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy.

“What are you smiling at?” Austin asks.

“You into comics?” I ask, expecting him to totally roll his eyes.

“You’re thinking we look like Peter Quill,” he says.

“Oh my god,” I gasp. “How did you know that?”

“We get it all the time,” Jason says.

“You like comics,” I say in wonder. No decent looking guy ever likes comics. I guess they might be thinking the same thing. I might look like a cheerleader, but I’m a bit of a nerd at heart.

“I bet you’re pissed at the Spiderwoman butt picture, aren’t you?” Austin says grinning. How did I know they were going to bring up this very conversation?

“They had this perfect opportunity to make her a strong and empowering female character, and instead they made her look like some vampish porn star,” I whine.

“They made her sexy, you mean,” Jason says.

“The guy who drew that image based it on erotica.”

“Comics are erotic in their own way,” Austin says. “You don’t find the supersized muscles on the male characters arousing?”

When he says the word arousing, my pussy clenches. Talking to them about comics is arousing. Watching their stunning eyes light up about one of my passions is arousing. The fact they look a little like Chris Pratt is also turning me on like nobody’s business.

“Muscles don’t maketh the man,” I scoff.

“Maketh,” Jason laughs and I scowl at him. Inside though I’m reeling at how perfect they are. Before I came out tonight, if you’d asked me to describe my ideal man, it’d be scarily close to Austin and Jason.

“It’s a phrase,” I snap, putting my hands on my hips.

“You haven’t answered my question,” Austin says, mimicking my tone.

“There isn’t a woman here that wouldn’t swoon a little for a muscly guy, but most would run a mile if that was all he had going for him.”

“So you’re looking for the full package?” Jason asks with a cheeky grin.

I shake my head with mock exasperation. Really I love their banter. “Yes. Brains as well as brawn.”

“I wasn’t talking about brains.”

“I know exactly what you meant.”

I start dancing again, making sure that my movements are seductive but not too sexual. I live in this town after all. Creating some speculation is one thing. Causing a scene is a whole other thing.

“So how long are you in town for?” I ask, loudly enough that they can both hear.

“The whole summer,” Austin says.

“That long enough?” Jason adds.

“For what?”

“For whatever you want.” Austin grins at his own suggestiveness and I want to laugh.

“And what do I want?”

“I wish I knew every little thing that’s going on in that beautiful little mind of yours,” Jason says. This time, his mouth is so close to my ear I feel the press of his soft lips. My ass bumps against his thighs and everything in me goes tight with anticipation.

“I’m not sure you really wanna know.”

“Oh yes we do,” Austin says. He reaches up and pushes a curl behind my ear and grazes my cheek with this thumb.

“I think it might blow your mind.”

“I doubt it,” Jason says. He has his hands on my waist now, his thumbs pressing into my back in a way that feels deliciously controlling. I get a flash of a scene from a favorite book, where one of the characters makes the heroine ride his brother hard, and I feel lightheaded.

“Do you ever get the feeling that something might just be too good to be true?” I ask because things like this just don’t happen to me. I’m Katelin who isn’t scared to go for what she wants, but also Katelin who never seems to find it.

“Never,” Austin says.

“How come?”

“Because if it feels that good, I make it true.”

“Good things come in three’s,” Jason says from behind with a smile in his voice. I turn around to see his face, a carbon-copy of his brother’s. The only way I can tell them apart is that their shirts are different.

“What’ve you got on your mind?” I ask because hell, I might be living out my dream but I’m not prepared to make a fool of myself.

“Oh baby, if I told you, I’d definitely blow your mind.” He slips his hand lower on my hips so it’s resting on my bottom. All I can think of is ‘squeeze’, just a little bit. Then he does and it feels electric. God, I’ve missed sex so damn much.

“That a promise?”

“Oh yeah.”

And then I do what any girl would do in my shoes.

I tell them it’s time to go.

What? Wouldn’t you be even a little bit tempted to ask them to make good on their promises?

Liar!