Chapter 39: Thirty-eight

A week passed.

Eva began to heal, and Reese said she would probably be released from the hospital any day now, even though they had no idea where to take her once she left. Her parents had basically disowned her as soon as they found out about the baby.

I guess they demanded she get rid of it, but Eva adamantly insisted she wanted to keep it, which had surprised the hell out of me.

When Reese had told me that bit of information, I had shaken my head, unable to picture the pampered, selfish socialite I’d always seen in Eva as becoming the motherly type. “You mean, she actually wants the baby?”

“Yep, I guess.” Then Reese narrowed her eyes and pointed at me sternly before I could say anything else. “And yes, I know; stop looking at me like that. But I’ve heard of stranger things happening. Maybe she’ll be a kick-ass mom. Who knows? I mean, just her determination to keep it gives me hope that she’ll be okay. Maybe being shot, disowned, and knocked up is forcing her to change. Maybe for the better.”

Maybe. Hopefully. Because hearing the list of Eva’s woes made my gut tighten with dread. A third of those woes were my fault. I hated knowing that my decision to not sleep with Patricia had ended with Eva getting hurt. Almost as much as I hated being too afraid to tell Reese how I’d been involved in her cousin’s hospital stay.

“I asked her to move into my garage apartment with me,” Reese was saying, totally oblivious to my swirling remorse. “But since the place is owned by her parents, she wants nothing to do with that idea, and actually…” She winced and glanced at me. “I don’t really like the idea of staying there myself after what happened. I mean, how could they just wipe their hands of her, just like that? It feels wrong living in a piece of their property.”

I glanced at her knowingly. “Trust me. I get it.” I had sent Patricia our notice, letting her know we’d be leaving before the end of the year and would want our deposit back, though I wasn’t holding my breath on ever seeing that money again. But it couldn’t hurt to try.

I hadn’t even discussed the idea of moving out with Mom yet, but that just showed how determined I was to get away from our landlady. Even if Mom refused to come with me—an idea which sent panic through my extremities—I was leaving this town. Since Reese had entered my life, all my priorities and fears and dreams had changed.

Two months couldn’t come fast enough. Reese and I were escaping this place.

Reese squeezed my hand. “We just need to hang on a little longer, baby. And then we’ll both be free. Your mom and sister, too. I just know it.”

I loved her hope. But when I kissed her hair, in the back of my mind I wondered how I could ever really feel free from anything with all this guilt hanging over my head.

Except, I couldn’t see how Reese would forgive me for what I hadn’t done, either. I knew I needed to tell her it was my fault but I was still trying to figure out how.

The next day, I was still playing my hypothetical confession over and over through my head, debating the best way to tell her and maybe not lose her in the process, when my phone rang.

I was currently home alone while Mom and Sarah were gone to a doctor’s appointment. It was strange, being here by myself. I used to be gone a lot, working at the Country Club or taking on a client, and then more recently, I’d been at college most of my time. But since being suspended from the Country Club, I’d been home a lot more. I even watched Sarah for Reese quite a bit since Reese spent most of her time at the hospital with Eva.

The entire house felt eerily quiet. I grabbed my phone, glad for the distraction from my thoughts, hoping it was Reese.

But the number was unfamiliar. I considered ignoring it, thinking it was probably just another persistent client, except I worried it might be Reese or Mom needing to call from a different phone.

“Hello?” I answered warily.

There was a pause, then a relieved sigh before a man’s voice said, “Mason.”

He sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place how before he added, “This is Stuart Scharper. My wife, Farah, and I heard about all the excitement you had at the community college last week with the crazed gunman, and we just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Hey, Mason,” the senator’s wife piped in quietly. “That was really heroic of you, the way you tackled him and saved lives.”

I didn’t feel very heroic since it was my fault the guy had showed up in the first place. But I was even more confused about getting this call. “Uh…hey,” I said uncertainly. “Thank you.” I’d never expected to hear from them because of this. It was plain bizarre to learn any of my clients would actually worry about me.

“You’re a good kid, Mason,” the senator said, shocking me even more. “We really appreciate everything you ever did for us. So, if you need anything... I mean, we probably can’t help you publicly because of your, you know, your past. But if you ever need anything privately...” His words trailed off as if he expected me to start listing off a page full of requests.

“Thanks,” I said again, shaking my head over such a puzzling conversation. “But, uh, I’m good, I think. Thank you anyway.”

“Oh.” The senator sounded almost disappointed. “Well...”

He hesitated, so his wife took that opportunity to cut in with, “Can we ask you something?”

“Sure,” I said hesitantly, wondering why she felt the need to ask me if she could ask a question. It must be something really—

“Did you ever like it?” she asked. “The things you did with us?”

“Um...” I paused, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

Her husband sighed. “That’s what we feared. Make us a promise then, will you, Mason?”

“Okay,” I uttered, wincing over what they might want me to do. Just try it one more time; you might like it if we did this or that instead. That was not a promise I would keep.

“Never do anything like that again unless it’s what you actually want to do, okay?” Mrs. Scharper insisted, sounding like a scolding mother.

Oh, thank God. A promise I could keep…and wanted to keep.

I nodded, a relieved smile wavering on my lips. “Yes, ma’am. I won’t.” For some reason, I blurted, “I have a girlfriend now. That’s why I stopped. I...she… Everything’s changed.”

Mr. Scharper sounded amused when he murmured, “Things usually do whenever you find the right woman.”

“She is,” I said, smiling with pride.

“Good, good.” Then his wife asked, “Does she know? About what you were?”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “I mean, she knows a lot. Not...everything.” Hopefully, they didn’t think I’d broken my confidentiality agreement I’d signed with them. But then I went on, needing to talk about it, I guess. I don’t know why I spilled so much to two people who were basically strangers, but they’d called, concerned, so it just came out. “I feel guilty about not telling her some things, but then... I don’t know. I worry about how much she can handle hearing.”

“You should tell her,” Mrs. Scharper said decisively. “If this is going to be your life partner and you want her to trust you with everything, you need to trust her with everything in return, the good and the bad. If you know you can trust her, then it’ll be okay, and you’ll end up feeling better afterward. I have a feeling you’ll be surprised with how much she can actually take hearing. Open, honest communication is the key to any relationship.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “Thank you.”

Their phone call actually left me feeling a little more hopeful. After I hung up, I blew out a long, decided breath.

It didn’t matter how I told Reese the truth, I was just going to do it. I did trust her. I might not relish the idea of her knowing just how weak and stupid I’d been so many times, but she needed to know. And I knew she’d be upset, but something intrinsic and deep inside me also told me she would forgive me. I just had to man up, trust that part of myself, and tell her already.

Sighing, I scrubbed my hands over my face, not looking forward to the talk we needed to have when the back door opened.

I lifted my face, expecting Mom and Sarah to be home, or maybe—hopefully—Reese here to visit, but when Patricia strolled through my back door, I jerked to my feet, enraged.

“What the actual fuck?!” I roared. “How many times do we have to have this conversation? Get out!”

“Oh, Mason,” she murmured, shaking her head sadly. “How many times do I have to tell you…?” she countered. “Whenever you leave your door unlocked, I take it as an invitation to come right in.”

“Well, seeing as you’ve never actually fucking told me that before, I guess just this once will do. I’ll make sure to triple-bolt and bar the doors from here on out, whether I’m home or not.”

“Cute,” she murmured cattily before walking further into my kitchen and hopping onto the counter, making sure to sit exactly where I’d set Reese the first night I’d kissed her in this kitchen.

I sighed and rubbed my face, restraining myself from strangling the landlady. I really didn’t want to deal with this right now. And I really didn’t want to go to jail for losing my temper.

“So I just received your two-month notice,” she murmured, tilting her head as she watched me. “I can’t believe you think moving out is going to change anything. It’s not going to be that easy to escape me—”

“Will you just shut the fuck up,” I growled, pointing toward the door. “And get out already? This is getting old and annoying. Go learn some new tricks. Like kindness and decency maybe.”

“I’ve figured something out,” she announced, ignoring my demand as she began to swing her legs merrily, like a little kid, or like she thought it was something Reese might do, because it totally was.

God, she was such a bitch, trying to imitate my girl. She failed at it, big-time.

I ignored her, turning away to leave, because if she wouldn’t go, then I’d freaking go.

“Reese doesn’t know,” she cut in curiously. “Does she?”

Shit, I think the keys to my Jeep were sitting on the counter next to her. Whatever. I’d just walk somewhere, then. I only knew I wasn’t staying here with her.

“She still thinks you and I fucked that night, doesn’t she? She thinks you were some kind of noble hero and saved her from getting me to tell her little ex where she was.”

I was stupid, and I let that get to me.

Pausing before I hit the hallway to escape out the front of the house, I glanced at her, scowling. “I’m still not convinced you were the one who told him. I mean, you were still trying to get me into your bed the night before he showed up. I don’t think even you’re senseless enough to play your one trump card before you’ve gotten what you want.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Oh, so you don’t think I’m the one who contacted him, huh? You sure about that, big boy?”

I ground my teeth, fisting my hands at my sides. “Why are you still here?”

Patricia just grinned smugly, examining her nails. “Oh, I just wanted you to know how cute I thought it was that you keep so many things from Reese. You know, since you love her so much. But it’s probably best if she didn’t find out about us. I mean, her poor cousin was shot—and almost died—over the whole ordeal. We wouldn’t want her to know it was your fault, now would we?”

“So, let me guess,” I bit out. “You’re going to try to blackmail me into doing something else so I’ll ensure your silence? Except I don’t give a fuck about your threats anymore. I’m going to tell Reese the truth myself.”

Patricia laughed smugly. “Yeah, sure you will. She’ll never forgive you, but that’s okay. I still have a spot saved for you in my bed.” Her eyes narrowed. “Since you made me lose my fiancé, I have plenty of aggression to take out on you.”

I grinned for the first time since she’d walked in. “Oh, did you and Ted not make it? I’m sorry to hear there.”

“Fucker,” she snarled, hopping off the counter and storming toward me. “I don’t know what you said to his brother, but rest assured, I will make you pay for that.”

I backed away from her, glaring. “Don’t touch me, or I’ll break your hand,” I warned, even as I kept backing away from her, reversing so much that I reached the opening of the hall that led toward the front of the house.

Movement from the corner of my eye caused me to turn that way and make eye contact with Reese, who stood frozen at the other end of the hall, where she stood listening to everything Patricia and I had said.

Stopping short, I stared at her as she stared back.

Patricia faltered too, as if she knew from my expression that someone else was there. She must’ve thought it was either my mom or sister, though, because she instantly started to retreat. “Well, I just stopped by to say goodbye and wish you all the luck with wherever you’re moving to next.” Then she winked, whispering, “And good luck confessing everything to Reese. I’m sure she’ll love learning about all the ~lies~ between you two.”

When the door shut behind her, Reese waggled a couple fingers, waving her farewell. “Bye, Felicia,” she said.

I sighed and slumped against the frame of the hall opening. “How much did you hear?” I asked. “Or do I need to catch you up on most of it?”

“Well,” Reese murmured, strolling toward me, “I heard the part where Mrs. Garrison announced you two ~didn’t~ have sex that night, after all. After that, this loud buzzing in my ears blocked most of your conversation.”

My bottom lip trembled. “Fuck,” I rasped, bowing my head and closing my eyes. “I’m sorry. God, Sweet Pea. I’m so fucking sorry. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t have sex with her.”

“Mason.” Warm fingers cupped my cheeks gently. When I risked lifting my face just enough to meet her gaze, she grinned and rolled her eyes. “I’m confused here. Please try to help me understand why in the world you’re apologizing for ~not~ having sex with another woman. Because I can guarantee you I’m okay with that. Like ~always~.”

“But…” I sighed, still disappointed with myself. “She obviously followed through on her threat and called Jeremy. He showed up in town right ~after~ I didn’t—”

“Wait,” she cut in, holding up a hand and frowning with obvious confusion. “Were you not there when the officer told me how Jeremy ~really~ found out where I was?”

“What?” I blinked, shaking my head. “No. How did he find out?”

“He confessed everything to the police when he was arrested, I guess. At the hospital, they told me he broke into my parents’ house a few weeks back and went through some papers until he deduced my location. It had nothing to do with you or Mrs. Garrison at all. He’d been in town, staying at a hotel even before the night the landlady propositioned you.”

My mouth fell open. “But…” My head wobbled back and forth in disbelief. “Are you sure?”

She blurted out a surprised laugh. “Yes. My God, baby. Have you been worried all this time that Eva’s injuries and Jeremy’s arrival were ~your~ fault?”

“Well…” I winced, and my shoulders slumped. “Yeah, pretty much. I kept telling myself that if I’d only gone through with it and slept with her, you and your cousin would be—”

“Never, never, ~never~ feel as if you have to sleep with any woman for me? Okay?”

“But at the time, I thought it would save you. I ~wanted~ to save you. So bad. Yet, instead I-I…I chose ~me~.”

“Mason,” Reese said very carefully, gazing into my eyes with nothing but love and acceptance. “It’s alright. You can’t save anyone else ~until~ you save yourself. You can’t love anyone else until your love yourself. Walking away from her was what you needed to do. For both of us. You did the right thing.”

Leaning in, she kissed my forehead and more forcefully repeated, “Okay?”

Gulping down the pressure that kept rising up my chest and into my throat, I nodded.

I loved this woman. I didn’t think I could ever love anyone the way I loved Reese. She made everything better. She made ~me~ better.

“Okay,” I murmured, still a little bowled over that this conversation had gone so much smoother than I’d feared it would. Until I remembered that I ~had~ actually slept with someone for her.

Sucking in a cringe, I said, “I need to tell you about your English professor.”

A sickened expression filled her face. Her complexion actually turned a grayish green. “Oh, God,” she uttered. “What?”

Closing my eyes, I told her everything that had transpired between me and Monica.

“Wait, wait, wait,” she cut in at about the time I got to the part where I’d stupidly given into Monica’s terms. “So… This all started because you cried out ~my~ name in the middle of—”

“Yes,” I muttered, pressing a palm to my forehead before gripping a handful of my bangs. “I know. I was an idiot who—”

“So you were pretty much ~mine~ all the way back before we’d barely even spoken to each other?”

“Reese,” I said dryly, “I told you, you had me the moment I heard your laugh across the college courtyard that very first day.”

“I know, I know.” She waved a distracted hand. “But this, like, ~proves~ it without a shadow of a doubt. Holy wow.” She let out a little squeal of joy. “You have no idea how happy I am to learn you didn’t touch the landlady that night. And you were already that fixated on me so early in our acquaintance! This is so ~awesome~.” She jumped at me and hugged me hard.

I hugged her back, even as I sighed. “You are honestly the most unique person I’ve ever met. I just confessed to you that I ~did~ sleep with another woman, and you’re…excited?”

“Oh, I’m not excited about ~that~. Pfft. Of course not. But I’m choosing to forget that part because it was before we ever got close and decided we were really together, and I’m focusing on the fact that you ~did~ abstain when it mattered the most to me. I’m so freaking happy you didn’t touch Mrs. Garrison that night.”

“So am I.” I hugged her back and closed my eyes against the relief. “And I really ~didn’t~ touch her, if you were wondering how far things went. Except to grab her wrist to stop her. We got to her bedroom, and she had me take my shirt off, then she put that hickey on my chest. But when she tried to open my pants, I freaked. I just…I couldn’t do it. So I grabbed her wrist, spit in her face, and walked out.”

Reese’s jaw dropped. “You spit in her face? For real?”

I nodded. My girl grinned and offered me a congratulatory fist bump. “You rock.” Then she sprinkled kisses all over my cheeks. “I’m so happy to hear all this. You can’t believe how much I ~love~ hearing this. I would get sick to my stomach every time I even thought about you and her together, but knowing it didn’t happen… Oh, God. This is great. This is just…it’s…”

Her brow furrowed before she stepped back and winced at me. “Except, do you think it’d be okay if we went ahead and let Eva think you really ~did~ sleep with her?”

“Um…” I squinted before saying, “I wasn’t aware Eva knew anything about it.”

“Oh, right. ~That~.” Reese blew out a harassed breath and ran her hands through her hair.

“So, she told me about some conversation you and she had the night before she was shot, you know, while I was out confronting Mrs. Garrison. She knew ~something~ had gone down there, and I felt I needed to tell her everything because, you know, she’s already going through so much. But then she tried to get all upset and judge-y on my behalf, mad at ~you~ for sleeping with someone else. So I went off on her a little and made this huge production about how honorable and protective I thought it made you, because you did it ~for me~, when in reality, it just made me clammy and ill to think about. But I didn’t want ~E~ thinking anything bad about you, so I defended you big-time, and now she thinks this is what I really ~did~ want, which is a total lie, because I’d rather face Jeremy down a hundred times over than have you near that woman. But now that, whew, I know you ~didn’t~ sleep with her, I can’t eat my own words and tell Eva ~never mind,~ ~it’s all good now~ after I made such a big stink of supporting what you’d done, and—”

“Reese.” I covered her hand to stop her from rattling on further. “It’s okay. We don’t have to tell Eva the truth if you don’t want to.”

“Really? Okay, whew. Thank you. Not that I advocate lying, or anything like that. I am so much happier that you told ~me~ the truth, but—”

I kissed her to shut her up.

“I have no problems lying to Eva,” I confessed against her mouth. “The only person I can’t seem to handle lying to anymore is ~you~.”

“Oh. Good. I love that answer.”

She kissed me back.

I started to return the kiss, only to pull away and lift a finger. “Which reminds me, I should probably tell you everything about Ethan Riker, too, and his getting me suspended from work at the Country Club.”

Reese blinked once before her face flooded red with rage. “He did ~what~?”