Final Goodbyes

Tori's POV

"Come on Sarg." I said clapping my hands together waiting for the little pup to jump off my bed and into my arms. "I promise I'll catch you."

He was looking between my arms and the bed until finally, after what I felt like hours of coaxing, he jumped. I caught him without difficulty and laughed. Placing him back on my bed I rubbed his soft fur while cooing at him. The next time we did the trust jump, he instantly came into my hands instead of hesitating. He and I were getting along, occasionally he would come and sleep in my bed with me. But other than that, the one he was truly soft for seemed to be Suzie. Either way, the little puppy and I would still have fun. I taught him how to play tug-a-war and we were working on tricks. Somehow, it was getting the hang of 'sit' but that was still with some difficulty.

There was a soft knock at my door before Cole popped his head into my room. He was smiling brightly and said, "You should come downstairs and see this."

I quickly grabbed my crutches and managed to get up. Prom had been weeks ago and finally I was gaining more control over my leg. I could put pressure on it and my doctor said it would be good to start moving on it. So every so often I would use my leg to stand or I would put pressure on it when I had the support of my crutches. I still couldn't walk but at least it was getting better.

Sarg followed me downstairs as Cole stayed ahead looking back to check up on us. "Come on Tori," He would whisper.

"What is it?" I asked as Blake appeared at the bottom step. He held his finger to his mouth silencing both of us. Shawn was in the living room and the only reason I knew that was because I could hear him commenting on a Cartoon Network show he was watching with Suzie.

Lilly and dad were at the front door. They quietly opened it letting Em slip in. Following her was an elderly man that I recognized from dad's wedding. The wrinkles on his face seemed to match the wide grin he had. Almost like years of smiling is what got him the wrinkles. He wore a satchel around him and started pulling things out of it with ease. It reminded me of Shawn's backpack that always seemed to be packed with the most random things. The elderly man, who I recognized as the boys grandfather, pulled out a pair of plastic glasses with a really ugly nose attached to it. Then a stuffed snake he wrapped around his neck like a scarf. And finally, he pulled out a noise maker and held it in his hand. "This is a surprise you say?" He asked no one in particular.

"Yes." We all whispered back.

"Do I get a hello grandpa?" Cole asked.

"Just a minute now boys," He said tip toeing towards the living room. "I need to see my favorite grandson."

Blake and Cole rolled their eyes like they were not at all offended. Their grandpa gave me a small pat on my shoulder as he walked past me. He held up the noise maker in his hand and crawled slowly to the room. He definitely looked like a ninja about to make his move. Finally, he jumped out into the living room making the most noise anyone could ever imagine. He swung the noise maker while screaming, "A boogla boola boo!"

Shawn gave a high pitched scream that was followed by a sudden surge of happiness. He started jumping up and down like a girl who had just seen Justin Bieber. "Grandpa!" He exclaimed while running to his grandfather who was laughing hysterically. Shawn hugged the old man so tight I thought he was going to break him. Instead they both laughed. "What are you doing here?" Shawn asked.

Mr. Parris turned towards us with a smile. We all returned it seeing as Shawn looked incredibly happy. Blake had picked up Sarg to prevent him from getting in the way. He was wagging his tail and trying to worm out but Blake kept his grip somehow. Cole held a proud smile on his face as he watched Shawn hug their grandfather. Lilly and dad were both happy, at least Lilly was especially because she was glad to see her old father-in-law. Em wasn't watching Mr. Parris as much as she was watching Shawn. I think his reaction is what made her day because she couldn't stop beaming. "Your amazing girlfriend called me to come to your graduations." Mr. Parris said giving Em an approving look. He leaned close to Shawn and whispered loud enough for all of us to hear, "She's a keeper. Don't let her get away or the bees will all escape."

Shawn looked up at Em. The happiness and pride in his eyes said it all. He looked like he had woken up to Christmas. "Is that true Em?"

She nodded, "Yeah he told me some interesting stories on the ride here from the airport."

Shawn ran towards Emily, picking her up and kissing her on the cheek. As he put her down he kept repeating, "Thank you thank you thank you."

"Anything for you Shawn." She replied returning his hug.

"I've got presents!" Mr. Parris exclaimed. "Everyone! To the room of appliances, happiness, and pure satisfaction!"

He held up his noise maker like a baton and made his way to the kitchen. We all followed, somewhat eagerly. Shawn however, grabbed Em's hand and dragged her quickly to the kitchen where we all gathered around the main island.

"First," Mr. Parris said pulling up the suit case that Lilly had brought along. "Shawn. This is all for you."

"Really?" Shawn grabbed the suitcase taking a deep breath in. His eyes were wide and he stared at all of us with his mouth open. "This whole suitcase?"

"Yes little chicken nugget," Mr. Parris said. "All for you."

Shawn started jumping up and down again. He gave his grandfather another hug before turning to the suitcase. As he placed it on the ground to open it Cole turned to his grandfather, "And us Pop?"

"Oh that's right," He said like he was suddenly remembering that Blake and Cole were still there. "You two exist as well."

"Dad," Lilly said putting her hand on his shoulder. "They're your grandsons too."

"Yes yes I know." Mr. Parris said patting Lilly's hand. Even with the sarcasm I could tell that Mr. Parris deeply cared for his grandchildren. And even though Lilly wasn't actually his daughter, they treated each other like family. They both obviously endured the worst together and it seemed to bring them closer. Mr. Parris wouldn't take his eyes off Cole as Shawn ripped through the suitcase. Eventually he sighed and said softly, "You look so much like Jacob you know that?"

Cole smiled sadly and nodded, "That's what I'm told."

"Good." Mr. Parris then put on a straight face with a lopsided grin. He turned towards Blake saying, "And you look like you took Muscle Menacing Candy Droplets. You know that?"

"No..." Blake looked bewildered and confused.

"He does look like that doesn't he Pop." Shawn said pulling out a few wrapped gifts from the suitcase. So far he seemed to have a crocodile mask, pointed shoes, and a very suspicious box.

"Well everyone," Mr. Parris said pulling out four envelopes. He handed one to Blake, Cole, Suzie, and I before giving us a big smile. "Those are your presents."

Cole opened it first before squinting down at the small paper, "Bonds?"

"Yes." Mr. Parris said. "Not the spy, not the things used to tie people up for whatever purposes you may have, but the government entitled ones."

"Whoa!" Shawn exclaimed. He had just finished unwrapping the large box which apparently contained an airplane as big as the suit case. "This is awesome!"

Cole looked between the bond to the airplane then back at his grandfather. He looked so in shock he couldn't form words. Then Blake said, "Don't we get something...fun?"

Mr. Parris snapped his fingers like he had just remembered something else. He went digging in his pockets until he pulled out two Yo-Yo's and handed them to Blake and Cole, "Go nachos."

Shawn continued to play around with the plane as all of us watched. He zoomed by us with it over his head and then got me to pose on the counter as King Kong. Mr. Parris watched the madness unfold around us as Blake and Cole just looked down at their bonds and Yo-Yo's. Suzie asked Cole what a bond was. Shawn made airplane noises and then exclaimed that he would save the Princess--Em--from the gorilla--me. There was still a suitcase full of random trinkets and toys but Shawn was far too distracted by the plane.

"I'll show you to your room dad." Lilly said after a solid five minutes of watching Shawn play around like a five year old.

Dinner that night was interesting. Em stayed with us even though she had insisted on going home. But in the end I think she was glad she stayed. Mr. Parris and Shawn did an reenactment of the "very famous" pegasus and griffin war. They first explained the story that both mythical creatures believed they were the kings of the sky because they could fly. They all declared territories for each other. Pegasus' controlled the northern and southern skies. Whereas the griffins belonged to the east and west. One day however, they crossed over and suddenly a war broke out. The reasoning behind the war is apparently unknown. They had been in a strong rivalry and I guess it finally caught up to them.

The pegasus and griffins were suddenly fighting continuously. The creatures of the earth were getting tired of all the battles that happened in the sky. Whenever the pegasus and griffins died the rain became black and the clouds would cover the sun. So one day the rulers of earth got together to try and create something that would prevent the pegasus and griffins from fighting. The unicorns, elves, and other mythical creatures I'm pretty sure Shawn and Mr. Parris made up--got together and created the phoenix. Another creature of the sky that would promote peace between the pegasus and griffins.

"And that is the story of how Northeast, Northwest, South East, and South West were all created." Mr. Parris concluded. "The end."

There was only silence at the table. Shawn was clapping loudly but everyone else had their mouths wide open in astonishment. "So...that whole story was to explain how a compass works?" Cole asked.

"Yeah Cole. Weren't you listening?" Shawn said in a 'duh' tone. "The phoenix lives between the pegasus and griffins working as a buffer between their rivalry. Without the phoenix all the Landias of the land would be devastated."

"You should be thankful young man," Mr. Parris said chewing on his food. "Without the phoenix we could've died."

Blake clicked on his watch, "That story only took about twenty minutes. Wow...I'm impressed."

"Shawn once told me a story that is somewhat familiar," Em admitted.

"We don't want to hear it."

"Stop. Don't encourage them."

"I still don't understand what that has to do with a compass..."

Em laughed as we all tried to hush Shawn as he was about to commence another story. It wasn't as if the stories weren't interesting, it was just...we had enough of Shawn as it was and now his grandfather--his teacher--was here as well. It was suddenly weird living at home. There were constant remarks about unicorns and rainbows and sugary foods. My brain was slowly imploding in my head.

"What about unicorns?" Shawn asked his grandfather. "What's their origin story?"

"Maybe," Blake said catching everyone's attention without looking up from his food. "They were tested on because they're immortal and suddenly their horn became metal. Maybe there are horses that just sprout that metal horn out of their heads like Wolverine. Or maybe unicorns were bitten by ice cream cones and like Spider-Man, inherited the abilities of a pointed cylinder shaped...thing. Or I know I know! They're actually aliens from a different planet that exploded but one unicorn escaped just in time to live among humans. And instead of the sun giving them power, rainbows do."

"Oh my God!" Cole slammed his hands on the table. "It's contagious!"

Lilly and dad laughed hysterically but Suzie looked worried. Suddenly it looked like she had been surrounded by mad people and just like Cole, she was very afraid of what that meant for her. Mr. Parris turned to Shawn and said, "If you go upstairs and grab my cigarettes, we can go outside and I'll tell you all the stories you want to know."

"Deal." Shawn shot out of his chair and ran upstairs to the guest room. While he got his grandpa's things, we all slowly got up and cleaned the table.

By the time everyone was done washing the dishes, we all dispersed into our own things. Em had followed Shawn and his grandfather outside. Mr. Parris continued telling stories as he slowly smoked. Suzie decided to watch TV with our parents which left my brothers and I oddly looking out the window at Shawn. He was sitting on one of the chairs with Em on him. Mr. Parris was turned in their direction but was looking up at the stars. I grabbed my crutches and went out to join them.

It was a beautiful clear night. The moon shone perfectly along with the stars. With summer rolling around the hum of moths wings against the lights joined in with the crickets chirping. I pulled up a chair and enjoyed the light breeze that went through the porch. "Sometimes," Mr. Parris said smiling softly. "You can still hear what they say. Why do you think streams make such an alluring sound?"

Em smiled at me softly as Shawn went off asking his grandfather questions. She had her head tucked under Shawn's and looked at the verge of falling asleep. Blake and Cole soon joined us followed by Sarg who roamed around before settling with us. The boys sat at our feet because there weren't any chairs left. Mr. Parris continued telling us stories. The myths of how fireflies got their fire. The stories of how zebras and tigers got their stripes. Sometimes he would branch off and make up a story of how worms in books were actually bookworms--a very complicated story of how people become worms...Then other times he would tell us about how fairies were called fairies. How the moon was actually a symbol of light whereas the sun wasn't. It was the weirdest stories that seemed to make the most sense.

I'm not sure when we all fell asleep. Or if we had gone inside to sleep. But everyone was in a daze. Mr. Parris told stories like it was his job. He probably knew they weren't real just like we did. But by the end of each story, somehow it made sense. Just like Shawn learned how to do. His stories never made sense but they did. And finally I understood where Shawn learned it all. This man wasn't just Shawn's father figure. He wasn't just his inspiration. This man truly made us believe there was magic. That things that couldn't possibly exist did. And that's why Shawn looked up to him so much.

I guess that's the secret of Shawn Parris. He truly believes in magic.

************************************

"Tori come down!" Dad yelled. "We're going to be late!"

"I"m coming I'm coming." I mumbled to myself. The car was honking and I could hear my name being yelled from outside. Everyone was in the car except for me because I couldn't find my graduation cap. I had looked through my bed room a thousand times and I could've swore I had left it on my bed. But now it was gone and I couldn't find it anywhere. It wasn't in my closet or on my TV.

There were loud and heavy footsteps in the house as they ran upstairs and into my room. Blake had his blue graduation gown on along with some dark polished shoes. He gave me the most annoyed look he could possibly conjured before realizing I was missing my cap. "We're going to be late Tobi!" He said joining me in my hunt for my cap.

"I can't find it!" I said. Anxiety started to kick in. After a few weeks of catching up with my classes I was finally given permission to graduate. I didn't think I would be able to until summer but my teachers and I worked out an after school schedule along with some Saturday school or online classes. If I didn't have my cap I was going to murder someone.

Sarg barked from under the bed and Blake bent down to look at him. "Sargent no!" He shouted before he began pulling on my cap. "Give that back. Drop it. Drop it."

Sarg gave off a bark before handing the cap over. I guess me teaching him how to play tug-a-war didn't help but I still sighed in relief and grabbed my crutches. Blake hastily put the cap on my head before grabbing me around the waist in one arm and quickly running back downstairs. "Ow, ow, ow." I muttered every step he took. It was definitely not a comfortable position.

"Suck it up Tobi." He was carrying me like a football while I held my crutches for dear life. "We're going to miss Cole's valedictorian speech."

When we got into the car it was mania. Dad quickly started driving before we even got the door closed. Lilly was in shotgun which left Blake, Suzie, Shawn, Mr. Parris, and I in the back. Luckily the mini-van was suitable for all of us but the gowns were making it harder for us to scoot in. Mr. Parris would pretend that we broke his foot every time we would accidentally step on it. And every so often Shawn would let out a blood curdling scream before bursting into laughter.

The graduation ceremony was being held on the football field. It was a sunny day with only a few clouds which meant that everyone was invited to go to the ceremony. Typically, if it started to rain it would have to be moved into the gym but our class got lucky. Cole had left about an hour earlier because as valedictorian he had to be there to shake peoples hands and whatnot. Honestly, all we knew is that for the last couple of days he had been stressing about writing his speech. He had called Jodee several times to ask for advice and one night she joined us for dinner.

The school parking lot was completely full and backed up with traffic. I found it shocking that we could not find a place to park. Eventually we did and my brothers and I made our way to the student entrance. "We'll see you after you've graduated!" Dad yelled after us.

"Come on Tobi!" Blake said a little ways ahead of me.

"And now if everyone could find their seats--" The intercom said.

"Let me be your horsey." Shawn said before kneeling in front of me. I handed Blake my crutches and jumped on Shawn's back. As we ran towards the stadium Shawn narrated, "And away we ride into the free zone where the hero's will claim their victory. Here we will finally become true knights. We will have the dignity and respect us knights deserve. We will be vict--oh my God that's such a nice tree."

"Focus Shawn." We went through the back entrance where there was a teacher chaperone. As everyone was already sitting down we quickly made it to our spots. Shawn set me down on my chair as Blake handed me my crutches. People were staring at us but finally we could take a deep breath because we made it. Shawn coughed a few times in his sleeve like he was out of breath before following Blake a few rows behind me.

I looked towards the stands and saw dad sitting with our family. Next to him were the Bennett's joined by Jodee and Em's aunt. I gave them a wave which they all returned before turning their attention back to the front. A few rows in front of me was Mark who turned around and looked directly at me. It was obvious by the look on his face he had been worried I wouldn't show up, but the moment he saw me he smiled. It wasn't a regular smile. It was a full blown teeth-showing-almost-laugh smile that was followed by him biting his lip. My heart did a somersault and I had to look down so no one would see how red I was.

Wherever I looked in the crowd of students I saw my friends. Em was sitting with a grin on her face as Shawn kept trying to get her attention in the most obvious ways. She pretended not to hear him but it was obvious by her smile that she could. Then again, Shawn was yelling across the student body to get her attention. Cali's spot was empty. It made me sad seeing she wasn't here to celebrate her graduation. But the moment the school started talking about how she was pregnant she basically stopped showing up. She was still going to receive her graduation diploma because she had passed all her classes and theoretically graduated, but she decided against coming to the actual ceremony. Blake tried making her feel better and for a short time he did. He told her that she was never going to see these people again so it really didn't matter if they knew she was pregnant. It didn't matter what they thought. For a while Cali was content but then people started harassing her at school and she realized that she couldn't take the silent judgement of the graduation ceremony where both students and parents would be attending. She agreed to come to the after party though.

I found Hayden and Sunshine who were all sitting in different places. A few of the other guys on the team gave me smiles and nods of approval. Trent gave me a grin before flicking me off discreetly. I returned it with a small laugh. Finally, I looked up at Cole. On the stage were some of my teachers and Coach. They were all in their own gowns which Coach had told us were like torture devices. They had to wear them every year in the sun when it was blazing hot. They all looked stiff and uncomfortable except for Cole. He and a few other students held their heads up high. Especially him. He would find us in the audience giving us each a wave before he turned to the parent audience. When everyone had been clattering to find their seats you could hear him yell, "Jojo!"

"Now," The principal said as we all finally settled down. "If we could all stand for the pledge of allegiance."

Who would've thought a graduation ceremony would take hours before they even handed us our diplomas. I know that it is supposed to be glorified because we are graduating, but the spokes people with their motivational speeches probably caused half of the students to doze off. By the time Cole had a chance to speak he knew we were all getting anxious.

He cleared his throat into the microphone getting some people to pay attention. I finally leaned in ready to hear what he had to say. He stepped away from the podium and started patting down his gown like he was looking for something. People started paying more attention. A few started whispering wondering if he lost his cards. He then pulled an air horn out from behind him and blew it. Everyone shot up in their seats holding their ears. "That was my brothers idea." Cole said grinning into the mic.

"Yeah!" Everyone heard Shawn yell from the back. "Whoo!"

"Well now that I have everyone's attention." Cole chuckled, "Let me first off start with the cliche, we made it."

He spread his arms out as we all clapped and cheered. He placed the microphone a bit higher so he wouldn't have to lean down into it. After the noise settled and he looked down at his notes for a brief second before turning back to us, "I want you all to look at the person in front of you. Behind you. Those that are sitting at either side of you. These are the people that have followed your life for the first journey. Now, most of them you probably won't ever see again. Some of them you don't want to and some of them this isn't goodbye because you'll probably see them tomorrow morning."

That gained a small laugh from the audience. "But what I want you to know," He continued. "Is that these people are your family. Some of you may have fond memories. Some of you have bitter-sweet memories. And some of you just flat out feel sour. Either way, they're your family.

"When I started high school I had this plan. This straight path on what to do, when to do it, how, and where I was going to end up. What I didn't know was that, that path isn't as straightforward as you may think. There were twists. Turns. Bumps. Trees that prevented me to keep going. Nothing came to me as easy as I thought it would. I didn't know at the time I would make friends. I didn't know I would lose some. I thought my family wasn't going to change but it did. I got lost several times during my journey. I got stuck."

He paused for a second looking at all of us. He had a sad smile on his face but pushed forward nevertheless, "The point here is...nothing is ever going to come straightforward. Plans are going to change. You are going to change. It's what you do with the change that helps mold you into becoming better. You can either accept it or turn it down but nothing is ever going to stop it from happening."

"So look forward to it. Look forward to change. Because everything," Cole looked directly at me. I smiled brightly because everyone--including myself--realized what he was quoting. "Has changed."

I smiled brightly and he smiled back. Everyone knew he was quoting the song we all sang together at Prom. Even if people hadn't gone to Prom they had heard about it or saw it on social media. The student population suddenly became a roar of approval and noise. We all stood up, clapped, hollered, and called out Cole's name. He gave his thanks before going back to his seat on stage.

Once we all settled down the principal began calling our names for our diplomas. I paid attention of the names of everyone I cared most for. Mark went up there getting the typical applause followed by Shawn's scream, "Grizzly bear!"

Em went up, Shawn screaming, "My girl!"

I watched my friends go up. The soccer team go up. Finally, when the L's rolled around I grabbed my crutches getting ready to make my way on the stage. We were slowly inching our way forward. I went up steps patiently waiting for my name to be called. Finally, all I heard was, "Tori Linean."

Cole had quickly walked towards me on the stage. He pulled the crutches away from my arms and held them in his hand. "What are you doing?" I asked as the applause from the audience continued along with Shawn's screaming of gorillas and my dad's whistles.

"You're going to walk on your graduation day." Cole grinned handing me his arm like he was walking me down the aisle of my wedding.

"I can't." I said panic starting to creep into me. It was bad enough he was bringing attention to us but me falling on stage was not something I wanted to undergo. The audience had finally quieted down which left me in an awkward position.

"You can do it Tori!" Blake yelled from the back as he stood up.

Shawn joined his brother saying, "Come on sis!"

"I won't let you fall. I promise." Cole whispered. Gripping his arm firmly I stepped onto my good foot before shifting to my bad leg. As I took a step I could already feel my leg giving out but Cole quickly held me up as I stepped. I gave out a sigh of relief through a smile and looked up at Cole. "Told you."

Slowly--and I mean very slowly--I made my way to the principal who was smiling at me with my diploma. When I finally shook hands with them the students applauded again for reaching the end. Cole handed me my crutches as I said, "Why must we be so dramatic?"

"Because," He grinned, "We're the Parris.'"

When Blake and Shawn received their diplomas, the entire crowd of both students and parents went wild. Blake gave a small smirk as he shook hands with the principal while Shawn bowed and blew kisses into the audience. Everything just felt surreal. It didn't seem like we were all actually graduating. It just looked like a big party where the whole school was at. Or another one of the yearly assemblies we always have. I couldn't believe that in a few months I would be in college. Or that Blake was going to play soccer. Or that Cole was going to Harvard. That Shawn was going to New York. And especially, not that Mark was going to train. Everything did not...seem like it was happening. It felt like any other day but with purpose.

It took a long time to give over three hundred kids their diplomas, but once the last student went up and got his we all cheered. The principal told us to wait but finally they said, "Congratulations. You've all graduated."

Everyone was ecstatic. We threw our hats in the air and shouted with glee. The parents in the stands all applauded and took more pictures. All I could do was stay in my spot and laugh. I laughed in joy and in sorrow. Cole was right, everything was about to change but I couldn't wait for it. When I looked around I saw my brothers celebrating and getting pictures taken with basically the entire student body.

"Tori!" Mark pushed his way through the crowd of students. Parents were starting to file on the field to join their kids. I could see Blake and Shawn through the corner of my eye but it was quickly interrupted by Mark's hug. He kissed my head and hugged me tightly all while laughing, "You walked! It was amazing Tori."

I smiled looking up at him, "Thanks I spent all day and night practicing."

"Really?"

"No." We both laughed before I reached up and pecked him on the lips. "One step closer to adulthood. How do you feel?"

"Just peachy." He grinned turning along with me as I saw our families getting closer. "You ready to game later tonight at that after party?"

"You'll lose."

He raised an eyebrow at me and smirked, "I think we both know I'm going to win."

Before we could start arguing I was bombarded by family and friends. We were all forced to take pictures. Pictures with me and my brothers. Pictures with me and Suzie. Pictures with me, dad, and Lilly. I took a picture with everyone I could think of or knew. Then people from my classes would come up to me and ask for some more. A few congratulated me for walking and others were just happy to see I was getting better. Coach joined us after a while and talked to us about the future. We all took a picture with him, and somehow managed to get the team together for another picture. He gave us advice, some of it helpful and some of it things he said away from our parents like, "In college don't forget protection."

By the time I was in the car I thought maybe the day was over. Instead I realized that Lilly had set up the whole backyard for our graduation party. It wasn't really a party. Just our closest friends and family gathering together. Originally, we had invited the soccer team but after realizing we were all busy with our own parties we just simply decided a date to all get together for pizza. I was pretty sure Lilly had decorated the house before we had left but because I was in such a rush I hadn't noticed how nice of a job she did. She kept it a gold color with balloons outside that surrounded the table of snacks and cake.

Cali was already waiting on one of the chairs. When she saw us coming she smiled happily like she was at peace. "How was it?" She asked.

"It was ok." Blake said casually like he was trying to make her feel better. "You didn't miss much."

"Tori walked." Cole added. Cali looked over at me with wide eyes but before she could say anything she was interrupted.

"And Cole had a really cheesy speech." Shawn added. "Those are literally the only exciting things that happened."

Conlan and Suzie decided to hang out with each other while we all did our own thing. They chased each other around as they played with Sarg or would go inside to play some video games before returning outside. They would throw a ball out for the pup or try teaching him more tricks. The parents all stuck together, talking about the graduation, ceremony, and college. Everyone else decided to stick to the end of the porch where there were chairs for all of us. It was our Prom group so we all just talked and listened to each other. Jodee told stories about when she graduated how it was the best thing in her life at the time. Cole agreed that he would probably have to quit working at Hollister after Jodee leaves for New Zealand. Blake and Cali admitted that they were going to see an ultrasound specialist in the upcoming week. Shawn and Em showed us pictures of their new flat in New York. And then people started asking Mark when he was leaving for training.

"July." Mark replied smiling softly. July was apparently the cursed month. It's when Jodee leaves. When Blake and Cali are supposed to find out the gender of the baby. And when Mark leaves. Specifically in that order. Currently, it was May which meant we all had a little over a month to enjoy being together.

"That sucks." Shawn admitted. He turned to Em. "When do we leave for New York?"

"Not till August." She replied.

"Oh..." Shawn grinned. He let out a deep cough into his hand before saying. "We've got time."

"You should seriously get that cough checked out." Cole said.

"Allergies it is, my young Hollischolar." Shawn said speaking like Yoda. "Everywhere pollen is."

Cole rolled his eyes before looking at Em, "Make sure he gets that checked out."

After that we all goofed around. We talked about memories from high school. Our first days as freshman verses our first days as seniors. Blake told stories about times he was wasted and threw up over Shawn's feet. Cole talked about the first time he showed up to the chess club and how everyone there thought he was going to harass them. Shawn rambled on about mythical creatures and every so often Mr. Parris would chime in to correct something Shawn said. The afternoon turned to evening and soon the sun was replaced by the moon.

"What are you guys doing?" Em asked as Blake, Cole, and Shawn grabbed the hose and started spraying water through the backyard. It had rained the night before which meant that the ground was still relatively wet but they were completely drenching the grass.

"Remember how in Christmas I got fireworks?" Shawn said grinning. Cole went into the house before returning with the box he had given Shawn. "Well I just can't wait till the Fourth of July."

Dad and Mark helped set up the fireworks in the middle of the backyard. Everyone else stayed back on the porch as they opened the firecrackers and sparklers. "Ok," Dad said when he finished the set up. "This is technically illegal because it's not the season. And I'm a cop, so let's just forget this will ever happen, ok?"

We all nodded and grinned. Shawn called dibs to light the first firework. "Fire in the hole!" Shawn lit the small firework before running away to join us on the porch. In a few seconds the small ground firework exploded into different colors. It was a red and orange that changed quickly with the zapping of the fire.

"I go next!" Cole said when it was done. He picked out a small firework that ended up being a bright light instead of colors. After him was Blake and then everyone decided to light a firework. Mr. Parris chose the smallest one which so happened to be a very large explosion. It grass around the firework actually singed off and started a small fire.

"I'm the fire king!" Mr. Parris screamed into the sky. "Feast upon my Dragon Powers. RAWWWWW!"

Ok Mr. Parris, I thought to myself. You do you.

"Tori," Shawn asked. "You want to light the last one?"

I analyzed how I would run away in time before it started lighting up. So I grabbed the match, picked out a small cylinder firework and placed it on the singed area of the grass. Sitting down I reached over for the piece of string with the lit match. Once I set it on fire I used my good leg and arms to scoot back until I reached the steps of the porch.

Mark reached down and helped me stand. I leaned against the railing his arms wrapped around me as the fireworks started to crackle. We both laughed when we saw the sparks were green. I looked up at him while our family and friends were complementing the colors. "Guess green is my lucky color, huh?" I said.

"Nah," Mark smiled as he kissed my temple before squeezing me tighter to him. "It's my lucky color. Because I've got you."

***********************************

Shawn's POV

"So then I said, 'No way I'd go to your home. Who do you think I am? A tripping tacky turtle troll?'" Grandpa concluded making Em and I laugh. I wiped a tear away from my eye thinking about Grandpa's words. He quickly added, "The neighbor never came back."

I laughed harder, "That's gold!"

Grandpa gave me a smile before putting his hand on my shoulder. It was his way of comforting me. First, he told us a story where he did something crazy. Then, when he knows I'm going to get sad again he puts his hand on my shoulder or knee to reassure me he's still here. After all, we were headed to the airport so he could get on his flight back home. His stories would get my mind off of it but in the end when I'd look ahead of me as the car drove on I knew it was only closer that I had to say goodbye.

The last week had been amazing. Grandpa, Tori, and I kept rampaging through the house. Tori and I were still fighting against each other. She had banana nun-chucks and I had the foam Nerf sword that she had given me for Christmas. But now with Grandpa we added a new part to the game. He was the ruler. The emperor of us. God, it was awesome.

Em was driving the car while Grandpa and I sat in the back. Knowing that in a few minutes he would leave made my heart tug out. When Em had said it was her idea to invite Grandpa to graduation, I had never thought it was possible to love someone so much. I just could not believe someone would do that for me. Every time I thought about it I couldn't stop smiling.

She really loves you, my voice said.

And I love her, I answered while smiling to myself.

You know what we'd love more?

What? I asked.

Why haven't you tried licking your new dog yet? I think it'd be fascinating.

Oh my god would you stop that already.

At night Grandpa let me stay in his room and we talked until two in the morning. We spoke about our theories, our wishes, and our latest stories. My sleep schedule had been completely altered but it wasn't anything either of us couldn't handle. Then Grandpa started telling me about how much he loved my grandmother. I thought he was going to start crying but he quickly covered it up with a joke to cheer us both up. At that moment I felt like I was looking in a mirror. The way Grandpa talked about his wife. I couldn't help but think of Em and I.

I quickly glanced at the front and noticed the airport in my view. My stomach sank and I grabbed Grandpa's hand. He gave my hand a small squeeze and sighed softly.

I'm going to miss him...I thought to myself.

Me too, My voice said. He's the only one that gets us.

I glanced at Em to calm my nerves down. She had the radio on at low volume letting the top pop culture songs play. I recognized a few but others were new and I wouldn't get the hang of their beat till later. Her thumbs tapped to the steering wheel along with the music. When I looked up at her I noticed her hair tied back in a loose ponytail with a band that was rainbow colored. It didn't match her outfit whatsoever but I hardly cared because I knew she wore it for me. It made me smile even more.

"Did I tell you the story where Shawn sat at my window playing the bongos while singing to my dog?" Em asked Grandpa.

Grandpa laughed, "No. No this I must hear."

While Em told the story I kept my eyes in the rear view mirror. Sometimes she'd make eye-contact with me and I'd smile causing her voice to falter a bit like she had momentarily forgotten her words. When she'd look away she'd continue the story. She always turned away. A habit I noticed whenever I'd do something embarrassing, funny, or cute she'd always turn away like she was trying to hide her smile. But even if she'd turn I could still see the corners of her lips rise. My heart would always leap at that sight.

When we pulled into the airport I felt numb as I helped Grandpa pull his suitcases out of the car. Originally, the whole family was going to come and wish Grandpa goodbye at the airport. But now with extended family it's a very tight squeeze inside one car and there didn't seem like a point in taking a second one. So everyone gave their goodbyes at home, allowing Em and I to bring Grandpa to the airport. Plus, I had an extra hour or so with him. Even though I was secretly wishing for traffic.

Grandpa put his arm over my shoulder as we made our way to the entrance of the airport. People were scurrying around and running towards the doors. Others were hugging and saying their goodbyes. All of which was surrounded by the car exhaust and roaring engines of the planes. "Wait," Grandpa pulled his cigarette and lighter out of his pocket when we reached a smoking zone. He gave me a cheeky smile, "Gotta have one more before I start flying on the metal phoenix."

I grinned, "But the metal phoenix doesn't spew fire."

"Shawn," Grandpa inhaled quickly before putting his hand on my shoulder speaking like he was about to give me a lecture. "A metal phoenix," He said while smoke came out of his mouth. "Is a magical creature. Do you agree with that statement?"

I remembered how I used to think it was so cool that Grandpa smoked. He'd always play Tribal Chief and I was his little warrior that would run around the house. Then he'd do smoke signals with the tobacco. Making circles in the air and whatnot. People say they hate the smell of tobacco but honestly I've gotten so used to it over the years that when I smell it all I smell is my Grandpa. "Yes," I finally said agreeing with him.

"Do you want to know the secret behind it?"

"Yes please." I felt like I was five years old again sitting at Grandpa's feet as he told me the secrets to everything there ever was.

"A metal phoenix weighs tons of pounds. Well, that's one secret anyways. So how does it get up into the air? The phoenix is known to help people. Assist humanity, right? But because the metal phoenix isn't like a regular phoenix, it doesn't shoot fire out of it's mouth." Grandpa started chuckling. "It lets fire rip out the back and that's what carries you into the air. Why do you think gas is called gas? Farts are what powers metal phoenixes, metal transporters with wheels, and floating metal."

Em rolled her eyes as Grandpa and I laughed. "I think I'm actually going crazy because I understood all that," Em said shaking her head slightly as her arms stayed crossed. "But not everything is powered by gas."

Grandpa looked at me pulling up the handle of his suitcase. "And what is so special about metal Shawn?"

"It's the only substance on earth that's strong, malleable, and super shiny."

Grandpa put his index finger up as if my next answer was crucial to saving the world. "And why is that important?"

"Because griffins love shiny things but metal can kill them."

"Yes!" He high-fived me before pulling a candy cane from the small pocket on his carry on. Even in the summer Grandpa would carry around candy canes. I'm pretty sure he stores them during the winter so they would last him all year long. I guess it was another aspect that added to his magic because if someone could have candy canes all year long, they're obviously special. "You deserve this."

"Yes!" I said unwrapping the candy and hooking it into my cheek. I glanced at Em and grinned, "Look love, I'm hooked. Like Captain Hook. I'm a pirate. Arrgg!"

Em laughed and while I made faces with the candy cane Grandpa quickly finished his cigarette. Em and I were in the midst of taking pictures on her phone when Grandpa tapped my shoulder and said, "Watch this." He took a long and final drag of his cigarette before exhaling the smoke out of his nostrils. "I always feel like a raging bull when I do that. When I was younger I'd chase your grandmother around the house saying I was a running bull from Spain."

I laughed coughing into my hand. It was deep hacking sound causing me to have to turn away from Em and Grandpa to cough towards the side. My head started pounding at the same time as feeling lightheaded. It felt like I had pneumonia again and I really hoped I wasn't getting sick. Not when summer had just started. "Make sure he gets that checked out," Grandpa said towards Em. He looked at me up and down with an expression I hardly ever saw on Grandpa: concern.

Hey! I thought to myself. I'm eighteen now! I know how to go to the doctors office all by myself. I'm an adult.

But you choose not to...My voice said.

Of course I choose not to. I'm afraid of doctors.

You're a different kind of special Shawn, My voice sighed.

"Don't worry," Em kissed my cheek before grabbing Grandpa's second bag that was sitting at her feet. "I will."

Grandpa stepped on whatever was left of the cigarette and we walked into the airport. While someone checked him in and handed him his ticket I could slowly feel my heart sinking. The three of us walked to the security check where I would have to say goodbye. Grandpa took a deep breath before facing Em and I. He first turned to Em and smiled at her. "It was a pleasure to meet you little lady." Grandpa grinned and hugged her tightly. "I plan to be seeing you again."

Em smiled, "Me too."

Grandpa leaned forward whispering something in Em's ear causing her to look down and smile while she tried to hide it. Grandpa then turned to me and I felt my heart sink further down. Like it had landed in my stomach. "Don't cry my boy," Grandpa pulled me into a tight hug as I felt my eyes water further. I closed my eyes hugging him tightly as I tried to remember everything about this moment. His tobacco smell, the softness of his sweater, and the faint beat of his heart.

I was silently crying. Not mainly because he was leaving but because our good times came to an end again. My best friend was leaving again which meant all the fun was over. Even nowadays I'd call Grandpa just to talk to him because he's the only person that would ever understand me. I'd call just to hear someone say something crazy and weird to me. I was--and still am--his apprentice. Memories of when we used to stay at his house started flooding in. Blake would always play outside and Cole would read a book to Grandma or just stay in the living room. I'd be in Grandpa's small office playing with his old toys as he smoked cigarette after cigarette while telling me stories, myths, conspiracy theories, and his crazy ideas and plans for the future.

It used to be the best vacations in the world. Mostly because Grandpa had the best toys. Little wooden horses and a giant wooden caste where I used to play with horses, knights, and even the king and queen that usually stayed on their little throne chairs. I once found a block of wood and handed it to Grandpa for him to carve into another figure. I expected another horse or a young prince but instead he made a jester with a funny hat that he later painted with blue and red.

"The king is always really uptight," Grandpa had said to me as he finished carving the figure. When he was done he handed me the jester and smiled saying, "That's why he always needs a jester. Because the king loves to laugh. Except sometimes he's forgotten how to. So remember Shawn, laughing is the best gift anyone can ever give to another person."

"I'm going to miss you." I muttered into his shoulder. I looked up at Em who gave me a sad smile. I smiled back before Grandpa and I pulled away.

Grandpa wiped my tear away with the palm of his hand. "You know you're invited any time." I could tell my the drop in his voice that Grandpa was struggling to keep tears from falling. He sighed pulling me into another quick hug before kissing the side of my temple. "And don't ever forget to bring your special girl too, ok? I'd love to make you two my famous homemade waffles."

"So that's where you get your waffle obsession from." Em muttered to herself while slowly mouthing the word, Ohhh.

I chuckled before moving away to help Grandpa with his carry on. "I will see you," He pointed at me grinning as he took his bag. "On the seventh moon of the purple sky."

I saluted him grinning back, "It would be an absolute honor to dine with thee at the Orange Corral as well."

Grandpa saluted back, "Yes it will lad. Yes it will..."

I smiled, "Goodbye Master Master-Old."

"Goodbye Shawn-ator." He walked towards the security check but before I lost sight of him he turned around to face me and cawed like a bird. I laughed and cawed back adding in arm movements to look as if I was flying. Did we get weird looks? Yes. But it was totally worth it.

Em took a step beside me putting her arms around my waist and lying her head on my chest. "You two are made for each other. I love it."

"I'm going to miss him." I said sadly as I hugged her back.

"Don't worry." She looked up at me giving me a confident smile. "You'll see him again soon."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I took a deep breath before pulling back. I put my arm around Em as she slung hers around my waist. We started making our way to the exit as I said, "So how about some creamed ice?"

Em chuckled before nodding, "Ok. But only if you let me drive."

"If I still get to pick the music."

"Deal." She held out her hand and I tossed the keys into it. We raced each other to the car, me letting her win. By the time we started driving, I had already linked my phone to the car speaker. On the highway I played the music at max. The cars around us would vibrate with the Chicken Dance, Row-Row-Row Your Boat, and The Wheels on the Bus. I could tell that Em really regretted letting me choose the music, but I absolutely loved the weird looks we kept getting. I was probably the biggest distraction anyone could ever have in a car yet Em somehow stayed focus on her driving.

After a while of my terrible singing, a pounding headache, and weird looks from the people around us, I finally shut it off. "Finally," Em sighed. "I can't take Twinkle Little Star, anymore."

"You missed the exit." I said as we passed a large green sign. I glanced at Em who didn't look at all worried. She just kept driving on. I pouted, "I thought we were getting the magical substance made of creamed ice."

"We are," She quickly glanced on me before continuing to drive. "But first we're making a quick stop."

I wasn't sure how long we were driving, but every minute of it was spent with me guessing where we were going. I'd make up the most absurd places. Like the Landia of Pencils where everyone always has to make a point about something. Or the Landia of Marshmallows where everything is soft and cozy and when placed over a campfire either explodes or turns gold. I guessed and guessed and guessed but nothing I said was right. And then I saw the signs. And then Em stopped in the parking lot. We had a small argument. She got me to agree by promising to stop by and get me Starbucks after the ice cream.

That's how I ended up on the examination table at the doctors office. It took way longer than either of us expected. After the doc told me to take deep breaths he looked concerned. He said I could have just developed asthma or maybe a small case of phenomena that wasn't getting any better because I wasn't taking medication. Then he asked one of his assistants to take a X-Ray of my chest. That took about an extra hour of me not having ice cream.

I sat on the table while Em sat on one of the chairs across from me. I let my feet swing and my hands play with the loud paper that covered the cushions. Eventually, one of the assistants told us to move into my doctors office."What's up doc?" I asked like Bugs Bunny the moment we sat down in front of his desk.

He looked grim like he had suddenly aged ten years. "Mr. Parris-"

"Shawn," I interrupted before he could start talking. He gave me an odd look before I added, "You can call me Shawn. Mr. Parris is too formal."

He nodded before clearing his throat, "We're going have to run a few more tests. But from what we can see it looks like you have masses in your lung."

I didn't know what that meant. All I realized in that moment was how hard Em was suddenly holding my hand. I could feel her fear radiate off her like the heat from the sun. I was confused and somewhat bewildered. Why couldn't he just give me some medicine so I could go home? "Uh huh..." I said kind of vaguely. "So like...with a scale?"

The doctor gave me an odd look which was followed by Em placing her free hand to her forehead. "What?" The doc asked.

Seriously what's the matter with you! My voice said.

He said masses! I defended myself. So like the scale.

My doctor shifted oddly in his chair. He looked at me sternly and talked like he would to a child, "Shawn do you understand what I'm telling you here?"

"No..." I looked down at myself patting my body. "I'm healthy."

He suddenly looked sympathetic. Em stood up and walked to the window that was showing off the parking lot with the trees in the distance. I don't actually think she was admiring the view because there was no view to admire. Her arms were crossed tightly around her like she was trying to hug herself. "Shawn..." She said softly but didn't finish her statement.

My doctor put his hand on my wrist gaining my attention back, "Shawn...there's a high possibility you may have some form of lung cancer."

"So like Steve McQueen and Hazel Grace?"

Dude...

"Shawn," Em turned around abruptly. She looked at me with a grave face. "This isn't funny. Stop acting like this is a joke."

I had never heard Em tell me to stop doing something. Even when I would do the most embarrassing things or plan out pranks that were probably not safe, she never told me to stop. I felt like my stomach sank. The information was finally hitting me. This was like dad. Dad had cancer. Dad died. "This is a joke," I said looking down at my hands. I felt my heart rate increase and suddenly I felt like I was underwater. Not because I couldn't breathe but because everything was soundless. It was muffled and everything seemed to move slower.

I think my doctor started asking me questions but I wasn't sure. Sometimes Em would answer for me and then other times I just sat there thinking. "Any history of cancer in your family? Do you currently or have in the past smoked? Do you work in an area where smoke is present? Have you been in contact with a lot of second-hand smoke? What's your diet consist of? How often do you exercise?"

He was in the middle of asking me more questions when I interrupted him asking, "Can I still go to New York?"

"New York?"

"I'm suppose to move to New York." I said. He looked hesitant then agreed we would work something out. The doctors plan was to schedule a MRI later in the week to confirm any suspicions. He then began talking about different treatments and schedules. There was a small argument that erupted about me moving to the city. Living in the suburbs was better than somewhere with a lot more pollution but New York also has good doctors. The move suddenly became pending.

I wasn't scared about the being ill. I was scared because finally I had my life planned out. Plans change, and Cole talked about that in his graduation speech, but finally I had some idea of where I was going. Before thinking of New York I had no idea what I was going to do. Now that I finally decided I was going there to follow Em, this had to blow up in my face.

It's rotten luck, I thought to myself.

Shawn...

When I made smart comments or said things to be funny neither Em or the doctor questioned me. When he thought I wasn't listening he told Em that everyone takes the news differently. The doctor prescribed me a few medications that were supposed to help my coughing. He vaguely mentioned that when coughing begins its because lung cancer is at a later stage. He gave us the facts and numbers. But see, I was never really good with numbers. So when math was suddenly involved I blacked out entirely.

"Buck of Stars?" I asked Em when we got in the car. She had handed me the keys and sunk down in the passengers seat. Her mood had suddenly shifted and I could tell she wasn't happy. I sighed looking down at the steering wheel. "Nothing has changed Emily."

She looked at me through the corner of her eyes, "Everything has changed Shawn. What bothers me is that you don't seem to really care."

I felt guilty. Of course I cared, of course I knew what my probability was, of course I knew what this meant for my future. I just didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about it because all I could think about was my dad. The way he died and how he looked and how much he had changed after this diagnosis. I wanted everything to be like it was the last few weeks. Fun. Care-free. Exciting. Now suddenly it felt like a bus had hit me. When it was on a train. That fell out of a flying saucer. "I do care Em..."

"It didn't feel like you did." She said it softly in an almost heartbroken manner. Her hand went up and wiped her face. I don't think she was crying over what happened but what could happen. When I grabbed her hand as we pulled out of the parking lot she squeezed it tight. It only assured me that she was afraid.

"Could you stay the night?" I asked her as we drove home. I didn't bother going to get Starbucks or ice cream. The trip had taken way longer than either of us had expected. By the time we would get home everyone would be having dinner.

"I'll call my aunt." Em said picking up her phone with her free hand. Her aunt didn't want her to stay the night until she heard Em's tone. Melissa kept asking if Em was ok and if I was ok. Naturally, Em lied. But Melissa finally caved and said she could.

Em and I didn't say much on the car ride back. I didn't turn on the music, I didn't make anymore jokes. I held her hand which at least comforted me. My thumb was drawing circles on her palm and occasionally she would move her thumb too like we were playing. Every time that happened she would at least crack a small smile.

How am I going to tell mom? I asked myself.

With words, my voice answered.

Gee thanks.

Don't mention it. That's why I'm here.

By the time we got home, everyone had been sitting at dinner. Em headed straight up to my room. She was close to breaking down and didn't want my family to see it. Everyone asked if she was ok. If we had been in a fight. I think the worst part was seeing my family happy before I came in. I felt like the bearer of bad news and I hated taking away joy from them verses giving it to them.

That's when I started crying. I had to be strong for Em even though she never asked me to be. I wanted to give her the best of everything, but in front of my family I broke. I broke down and I said I was sorry. They had absolutely no idea what was happening and before I knew it mom was hugging me close to her like she always did when I was younger. I missed Grandpa and I wish he would have gone with us to the doctor. In that very moment I wish I had never existed because suddenly my whole family was there to comfort me when I knew how much pain they were going to be in after I told them. It was a bomb of guilt that I never wanted to drop.

Blake and Cole were suddenly hysterical. They kept looking me over to make sure I was ok even though I wasn't. They wanted to go upstairs and talk to Em but I convinced them it wasn't her fault because it wasn't. All I could do was stand there and wonder if this was how dad felt when he told us. I knew what everyone in the room was about to feel because I had felt that once. I had felt the pain, the fear, the desperation, and the small little bit of hope. When I had asked to be like my father I never meant it in this way. Blake had inherited the athletic drive. Cole looks like a copy of our dad. And me? Well I guess I was doomed with the suffering of my father.

Bill wanted to know if there was anything he could do. Tori tried standing and giving me a hug but barely managed. Whereas Suzie just looked afraid. The last time I had been like this was because Tori was in the hospital. It was like Sue knew something bad was about to happen. "I have cancer," I said finally dropping the bomb. "And I mean the illness not the zodiac."

I think they spent the first few seconds trying to analyze if I was joking or not. Then, when they realized I was being serious they started to absorb the information. After they absorbed the information, everyone looked numb. I couldn't look at anyone in the eyes, all I felt was pain. I was sniffling and wiping my arm across my face to catch all the tears and snot. Mom took it the hardest. Everyone started asking me questions. They tried finding answers but I didn't even have some of the questions. All while, mom was taking deep breaths. She hardly ever looked weak. She was the biggest fighter I knew. Making it past almost every obstacle that had been handed her way. And here she was, silently crying and breathing hard.

I touched her arm, "Mom?"

She looked up at me, tears pooling in her eyes. "It's my fault—"

"No it's not mom," I said stopping her. Instead of her hugging me I quickly wrapped my arms around her. I know that Cole was always a momma's boy. I was stuck with being the odd child. But she was still my mother and I loved her more than marshmallow pecan rainbow confetti ice cream. "It's most definitely not your fault."

I knew what she was thinking because my brothers and I were probably all thinking it. Even though she was trying to stay hopeful, all she could think of was my dad. She cried into my chest hugging me back while muttering through her sobs, "My little boy. My little weird unicorn loving boy."

Suddenly everyone started taking the blame. It was like everyone turned into Katniss Everdeen and started volunteering whose fault it was. They all agreed that they should have taken me to the doctor sooner. Bill said he was sorry for having his work get in the way of things. Blake said he was sorry and should have paid more attention instead of worrying over his new kid. Cole said he should have seen the signs because he's read so many books about it. And Tori felt guilty and said she should have said something too because she had noticed the most. I smiled at all of them and in reality, it was never their faults. It wasn't anyone's fault. Maybe if I was a dwarf from Snow White, working at the mines all day, then there could be a finger to point. But there wasn't.

"I'm going to go upstairs." I said suddenly exhausted. Whatever energy I had in the day was suddenly gone. It felt like the day had lasted a whole week. And suddenly I realized that every day was going to be long now. Every day was going to be another stretch. Especially now that they're numbered. "I need to make sure that Em is ok."

They all let me go. When I left them, I could still hear their conversations. Dad was comforting mom. My brothers were trying to make a plan. They started working like a team along with Tori. Suzie resorted in cuddling up with Sarg from what I last saw. It was the constant saying of "everything is going to be ok" that made me want to throw up. Because that's exactly what little Blake, Cole, and me thought when this was our dad.

I knocked on my door before walking into my bedroom. Em had strung some blankets from the ceiling and turned my bed into a fort. If it were any other day when I had the energy, I would have instantly screamed like a child and started jumping up and down making weird whale and hippo sounds. Instead, I just gave a small weary smile. Underneath the blanket, I could see Em's figure as she held a flashlight up towards the ceiling.

I walked over, peaking inside the fort only to see Em curled up at the head of my bed. She was holding a pillow close to her face, softly hiccuping. She had just finished crying. Between the hiccups and red face with puffy eyes, I knew that she had been crying for a long time. I crawled in next to her, careful not to ruin the blanket she strung up. She smiled up at me still holding my pillow close, "Your pillow smells like you."

"I bet I smell more like me though," I said smiling back. She moved slightly so that I could sit behind her as she tucked her head under my chin. We didn't say anything for a while. Em was still catching her breath from crying and I could already feel the both of us slowly drifting to sleep.

"I think I'm going to stay." Em said quietly after a while.

"I think you should stay too. My bed is so comfy. It's like sleeping on the feathers of a peacock."

Em finally let out a small laugh. It was probably the best sound in the world even if she didn't believe me whenever I said it. "No Shawn, I mean here. I don't think I'm going to go to New York."

I laughed. I mean it wasn't a heavy laugh just a small chuckle. "No. You're going. And I'm going with you. We already have everything planned out and that's not fair. Nothing has changed Em."

"Everything's changed Shawn."

"Then you go and I stay." I told her. I'm not sure how many times we've had this argument. Only now it was different. Instead me holding her back academically, it was a whole new ball field.

"We're not going back to this conversation," Em pulled my arm around her tighter. "We stick together. Through thick and thin."

"You mean syrup and pencils."

Em looked up at me pushing through another smile. "You're going to be ok Shawn." She seemed to be reassuring herself more than me. Her hand came up and she tilted my face towards hers. She placed soft kisses on my lips. We didn't move or start making out. We stayed still, softly kissing each other until finally she settled down into me.

With the blanket simulating as a canopy over us, it was warm and quiet. The flashlight got pushed to the end of the bed and soon I could hear Em's sleeping. I don't think I slept that whole night. I just looked down at my girlfriend occasionally brushing a piece of hair out of her face. I think I fell asleep and if I didn't, the next morning I didn't feel any different. But that whole night I remember pushing away the sinking feeling in my stomach.

"It's going to be ok," I said to myself quietly. "I'm always ok. Everything is going to be ok."

Then I would turn to Em who looked like an angel in her sleep. I'd kiss her temple and whisper, "I'm going to be ok. For you."

*******************************************

Cole's POV

The drive to the airport was surreal. We didn't talk the whole way there. It was an hour full of silence with soft music playing from the radio. We both didn't try to make small talk. It was a peaceful silence but a terrorizing one as well. We knew everything was going to end. We knew that this was the end. At least for us. Last night had probably been the best of my life. Last night and this morning I realized what it was to truly love someone. Emotionally. Physically. Hell, even spiritually. But it was ending. And I took pleasure in every second I had with Jodee, it's just...I want more. I want more time. More seconds, minutes, hours, days. It's all going away.

Jodee had said goodbye to her family and friends. They had thrown her a going away party with a banner and cake the day before. Her family was there. Ethan gave her his favorite bird to take with her. Dalton was there threatening to fire her even though she had already given in her resignation form. She loved it. She just didn't wan to admit how much she appreciated it. Classic Jodee, trying to act tougher than she lets on.

When we started hearing airplanes flying overhead, my stomach sank. Jodee kept staring out the window never glancing my direction. I still decided to stay quiet. It didn't matter what I said. It wasn't going to be enough to fill the void that was starting to dig into my chest. So I kept driving. Staying just at the speed limit to try and make somewhat of time.

After I got a parking pass I took my time deciding where to park the car. I wasn't sure if Jodee noticed I was stalling. Either she did and didn't say anything or was too distracted in her own thoughts. Finding a parking space wasn't difficult, nearly the whole lot was empty it just didn't feel like the parking spots were good enough. I guess that's how I felt too. I would be wandering around forever and never find a good enough person like the one I have now. But finally I guess I would settle--like I did with a stupid parking spot--even though I wasn't content.

We both clicked our seat belts off, not necessarily rushing out, but still leaving the car without looking at each other. In the trunk I met up with Jodee and helped her pull out her suitcases. Our hands touched as we reached for the bag and I felt my heart pull. We kept it there for a full two seconds before we reached back. I finally looked up at her. She was looking down at where our hands were, her face stern. Almost sour like she had smelled something bad. I sighed deeply, "Jodee-"

"My flight is going to leave soon." Jodee yanked on the handle of her suitcase and started walking away. I followed after her with one of the other bags. After checking her in she only had a small carry-on and backpack left. We sat down to have some coffee before she would have to leave. Still, we said nothing. I picked on the side of my cup as Jodee ate a cookie slowly. It reminded me of our first conversation. Sitting at a different Starbucks. And now we were ending our journey at a Starbucks as well.

I knew Jodee didn't want to talk. A part of me didn't want to either. I wanted to leave things like they were last night. I wanted my last memories to be like last night. Neither one of us seemed to want to ruin it. But it was so quiet. So tense that I just didn't know if speaking may be a better option.

"Are your friends ready for you in New Zealand?" I asked.

"Yup."

"Are they excited?"

"Uh-huh."

"Are you excited?"

She took a sip of her drink, "So glad to be leaving."

Ouch, I thought to myself. I felt like someone had just taken a bat to my heart. I let out a sad laugh under my breath, "It's just not fair."

"What?"

"You." I stared at her directly in the eyes. "I know you Jodee and I'm asking you to please stop."

"What are you talking about?" She finally looked up at me. It was the first time she made eye-contact with me since the night before.

"Don't try and start an argument." I said.

"You're the one that's starting it." She snapped back. "I was only answering your questions."

"But stop acting like it doesn't matter!" I felt my face turning red. I was trying not to yell but my tone was rising even if my voice wasn't. I didn't want to cause a scene in a public area, but my nerves were racking and anger rising. How could she act like nothing mattered? Like I didn't matter? There's no way she couldn't care about anything. Not after last night either.

"I never said nothing mattered Cole," Jodee said looking back at the cookies. "You're making a big deal about nothing."

"Am I now?" My filter shattered and suddenly I didn't care if the people around us could hear. "You're right. Of course you're right. You're always right. Our whole relationship was no big deal. You're leaving to New Zealand and I'm going to Harvard. This was only a fling and we obviously don't care about each other. Thanks for the attention and great sex. Bye Jodee." I stood up walking towards the exit. I couldn't do it. I couldn't sit there with her acting like nothing had ever mattered. Not when it was painfully stripping me away of all the emotions I'd ever felt for her.

I felt a tug at my arm as Jodee yanked me back in her direction. She led us to the check point before pulling me off a little to the side. I thought she was going to yell at me but instead when I faced her and she finally looked up at me I saw the tears streaking her face. She took a shaky breath.

"These last couple months have been the best of my life." She looked up at me giving me a sad smile. I definitely wasn't expecting her to say that. After constantly telling me how much she wanted to start over and move somewhere knew. What I didn't expect is what she said next,"I love you Cole."

My heart started beating fast like adrenaline had been pushed into my body. My mouth felt metallic and no matter how much I tried I could not form words. All my worries and anger was suddenly pushed away and replaced by realization. Jodee doesn't like showing emotion. She doesn't like looking vulnerable. And right now--with that three word phrase--she stripped herself of all the armor that had been protecting her.

I pulled her waist towards me, leaning down to kiss her. It felt like we were both trying to never forget this moment. She gripped onto me like it was the most important thing in the world. Like she didn't want to let go. It was our last kiss and we both knew it. But we both also shattered the walls that were protecting us. "I love you..." She said again when we broke our kiss. She sniffled letting out a small smile showing she was glad to have admitted it.

All I could do was stare at her. I could feel my eyes burning and a tsunami of sorrow drown me in the inside. "Jodee-"

"It's ok Coley-Woley," She said wiping away her tears. "You don't have to say it back."

"Why do we always fight?" I asked with some sadness behind my voice.

Jodee let out a small laugh, "Because that's who we are Cole. We're fighters. And you and I butt heads but I love you for it."

I love you too, Was the phrase that was ringing in my head. I'm not sure if it's shock or denial, but for the life of me I couldn't talk. All I could do was hug Jodee close to me. We probably stood there a few minutes in each others embrace. Jodee calmed her breathing down and I closed my eyes to stop them from watering. We both took deep breaths, enjoying each others company before she would have to leave. Eventually, she pulled back from me, giving me her most confident smile and saying, "You're going to miss me Coley-Woley."

You don't know how much, I thought. I love you.

But instead of saying that I smiled back and said, "You have no idea Jo-Jo."

She looked up at me for a few seconds. Like she was waiting. And all I could think was, I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

"Goodbye Cole," She smiled one last time before turning around and walking towards the checkpoint. That was my last view of Jodee. Her long strawberry blonde hair draping on her backpack as she pulled along a small red carry-on. Maybe I'd see her in social media. Maybe I'd see her enjoying her time in New Zealand. But right now, this was it. This was all I saw.

"Goodbye Jodee." I replied pitifully as I screamed in my head. I was calling myself names and yelling. It felt like someone was locked in my brain and had no way out.

I love you Jodee Rose Bamba! I yelled. Don't leave. Don't go.

It's no actually happening. I thought as I walked back to my car. The truth was that I was going to get back in my car and Aston Kutcher was going to jump out and say I was PUNK'D. But that didn't happen. Jodee had left her favorite CD in my car and when it started playing I still didn't move from the parking lot. I think I sat there and listened to the whole track. Maybe if I waited long enough she'd come back outside like in the movies. But she didn't. So I was stuck waiting in a dirty and loud airport parking lot feeling miserable when suddenly I could finally say it.

"I love you Jodee." I muttered quietly under my breath. "I love you."

And that was probably my biggest regret. I never told her how much she meant to me. I never told her just how much of my world she truly was. She opened up to me and I stayed closed like a shell. I always thought she would break my heart but instead I probably broke hers. After everything we had been through I love her yet I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell her how much I wanted her to stay.

The whole ride home I couldn't stop saying it. I couldn't stop feeling stupid. How couldn't I have said it when she was there. It's not the same to call her and tell her. I missed my shot. And that's my biggest regret.

*******************************

Blake's POV

The house was suddenly depressing. What used to be filled with joy was now overtaken by sorrow. After Shawn was diagnosed, and Jodee left, both my brothers were suddenly depressed. Shawn covered it up well. He joked around, still played games, and acted like nothing happened. He coped with humor when dad died. So I guess now that he was diagnosed with cancer, he wasn't letting that humor die off. Cole on the other hand didn't even try to cover up his depression. He had suddenly started studying like a madman. I didn't know people could study over the summer but he certainly found a way to. Suddenly, he was looking between law books and medical books. He was researching Shawn's cancer all while learning more on how to become a lawyer. In a way, he was a hermit. Now I was waiting for Mark to leave. That was going to be the final blow to the family. Tori has been relatively happy. Leaving almost every day to go on dates with Mark. She even started walking a bit. Maybe a step or two but nothing big. Mark has been there helping her all along so I knew for a fact that once he left for training she was going to sink into a hole just like Cole. My hopes were to prevent that from happening.

I wasn't sure what I could do to make my family feel better but I felt like I was failing them. Shawn was sick which gave him a reason to be looked after. Cole was independent. And at least Tori had a plan. I was stuck with the responsibility of two families. The one I have now and the one that was about to form. I was on my way now to pick Cali up for the ultrasound.

I was so nervous. Not necessarily for the ultrasound although that was killing me too. But of just being with Cali. Every time I'm around her I manage to mess up. Shawn shows affection to Em, Cole would basically be snogging Jodee, and Mark always kept a protective arm around Tori. I tried not to notice how bad of a boyfriend I am to Cali, but it's really hard when everyone else seems to be doing a better job. This was like when I play soccer. Only now I'm those stupid freshmen that sit on the bench and look up at me like I'm their saving grace.

After pulling into Cali's complex I went up to her brother's apartment and knocked on the door. Jake opened it. He was wearing a pair of headsets around his neck and there was a remote controller in the other hand. All of a sudden I heard two other guys in the living room all yell at the TV. "Are you going to judge our gaming session?" Jake asked me with his eyebrow raised.

"No...?" It didn't sound like a statement, more so a question.

"Cali," Jake called into the flat as he closed the door behind me. "Blake's here."

"I'll be out in a second!" She called back.

I turned to the living room where two college guys were sitting on the sofa. They were vigorously playing with the remotes. The last time I had seen such an intense game was between Tori and Mark. They had made a bet on who got Shawn's last cookie and played a round on the PS3. One of the guys looked at me up and down. "You're the one that knocked up Jake's sister?" He asked.

"You're the one that has Cheeto powder all over his face."

"Cool down," Jake said before placing his gear on the table. "Follow me."

I followed him to the kitchen where he started grabbing a few more snacks. I naturally crossed my arms and stared at him as he gave me a small look, "Cali told me you're finding out the gender today?"

"Yeah..." I wasn't going to lie about it. I was excited. We'd gone to several doctors to make sure the baby was ok. Cali had always insisted on never wanting to look at the screen. She wanted to see the ultrasound of the baby the same time she found out the gender. So basically, the nurses would tell us the baby was healthy and then send us on our way.

"She told me you really want a boy," Jake added like a side note. I guess I knew what was the coming the moment he turned to look at me. "Listen Blake, I just want you to know that you and I are basically all the family Cali has right now. When we were little I always promised to look after her. What my parents did was cruel. She's cut off and struggling. So I'm going to make this clear. I know this probably doesn't mean much to you but frankly, I don't trust you. I am this kids uncle and if you do anything to ever hurt my sister, I swear this will become a custody battle. I won't threaten to kill you because I know you'd probably kill me first. But I swear I will take away this family. Do you understand?"

I didn't have a chance to answer. Honestly, I probably should've been upset, instead I was understanding. If someone did something like this to either of my siblings, I probably would've reacted the same way. Or worse. Definitely worse. But before I could tell Jake anything, Cali came out of her room. She was smiling when she walked up to us. "What are you talking about?" She asked Jake and me.

"Names." He quickly replied. "We were talking about girl and guy names."

"Anything cute you settled for?" Cali asked.

"We agreed we wouldn't name a boy Jake." I said looking at her brother.

"Ha ha," Jake said with a fake grin. He gave Cali and hug and wished her luck with the ultrasound. As he walked us to the door he kept asking her to keep him informed. I was half-way out of the door when he grabbed my arm saying, "Remember what I told you."

I glanced at Cali who was already walking towards my car, then back at Jake. "I wouldn't hurt her. I swear."

The whole ride to the clinic Cali and I tried thinking of names. We couldn't settle for a girl name. Actually, it went quite terrible. "What about Courtney?" Cali would ask.

"No." I'd instantly say.

"What? Why?"

Because I once slept with a Courtney. I would think to myself. Of course I'd filter and answer, "I just...I don't know. I want my kid to have one of those names that no one else does. I feel like when they go to elementary school there's going to be plenty of Courtney's."

"Ok," Cali would think for a second. "I've always wanted to have a girl with a guy name you know? So like what about Sam? Or Riley?"

I've slept with one of each.

"Maybe we should think of boy names and go back to the girls." I said vaguely. I didn't want to discourage her. I didn't mind all those names. I just didn't expect this to be so difficult. Boys names seemed to be a bit easier. We found a few we each liked. I was adamant about naming my son Jacob after my father but then Cali had other names that I really liked too. I guess that was another reason to hope for a boy.

When we walked into the clinic, everyone seemed to turn to look at us. They were all married women that ranged from their mid or late twenties to their forties. Some of them had their mothers with them and others had their husbands. Cali went to the check in as I took a seat across from a couple. The father-to-be across from me gave me a reassuring smile. For some reason it really didn't make me feel better.

Cali sat next to me and we both waited patiently for the doctor to call us. She was lying back her hands placed on her enlarged stomach. Recently, she had been complaining a lot on how much the baby weighed or maybe it was just an issue because she was so small. "So is Shawn going to be ok?" Cali asked to make small talk.

"We don't know," I answered looking down at my hands. I really didn't want to talk about it. Cole and I were doing as much as we could but then again that was basically limited to family support. The doctors already confirmed that they would probably have to start chemo soon because the cancer had already progressed. Cole and I couldn't stop feeling guilty that our brother was sick.

Cali grabbed my hand giving it a light squeeze, "It'll be ok."

I looked up at her smiling softly, "What about you? Did you get accepted?"

Cali had been applying to several colleges. Most of them were small community colleges close to Jake. They were relatively close to where I was going but from what I heard I was going to be traveling half the time anyways. We still hadn't figured out how we were going to share custody but right now she was just trying to figure out where she could afford going to. "Yeah," She smiled brightly. "I guess not everything is as terrible as people paint it to be."

"Cali and Blake Parris?" The nurse called from the door. Hearing Cali's name placed with my last name gave me a weird feeling in my stomach. I glanced at her to see if she was fazed but instead she just got up and made her way to the nurse. I quickly brushed off the feeling because I wasn't sure how I felt about it. A part of me felt good about it and another disapproved.

The nurse helped Cali onto the recliner. As she went to grab her clipboard and the cream I sat on one of the small chairs and pulled it up to Cali's side. She gripped my hand tightly showing me she was nervous. I couldn't help but reach up and touch her stomach. Every so often I would feel the baby kick and I still couldn't believe there was a human being in there. Even though I wasn't supposed to be happy, even though everything around me felt like it was coming apart, and even though I knew everything was about to get more complicated, it was still an absolute miracle this could happen. I know it sounds stupid, but the fact that someone is growing in someone else, that a human being is being formed, completely blew my mind. Especially when I knew that I was part of the miracle.

When the nurse came back in she started with her routine questions. Then she got Cali prepped for the ultrasound. "Ok," the nurse said after she placed the cream on Cali's stomach. She started looking around with the handle, her eyes trained on the monitor. "You two ready?"

Cali looked up at me and I smiled back. We held each others hands and nodded as the nurse turned the monitor towards us. There was a figure. That's what we could make out. Wait... "You said you wanted a total surprise," The nurse said smiling. "Well I couldn't really tell before but now it's confirmed. You're having twins."

KA-boom.

Both Cali and I must have felt the pressure on our shoulders. Our faces drained and I couldn't process a single thing that the nurse was saying. Before she could continue speaking I interrupted her, "Wait...twins? As in two?"

"Yeah," She said smiling softly. "Your girlfriend said she didn't want to know anything about the child. Or I guess, children. So we didn't say anything. But now that she wants to know, there are two. Ready for the genders?"

"No." I said quietly. Cali nodded, agreeing with me. "I'm going to get some water."

I was sure I had seen a water station just down the hall. I excused myself from the room, asking Cali not to ask any questions without me regarding the sex of the baby—babies. I wasn't really focused on what I was doing. After drinking the small paper cup of water I leaned against the wall to breathe. Finally, when I had accepted the fact I was having a child, another curve ball is thrown my way. I was in a weird position of complete disbelief that it almost seemed funny. Maybe Shawn asked the nurse to pull a prank on me so I'd believe in the Parris Curse. Maybe Cole thought it would be a cool experiment to see my reaction.

I breathed for a while trying hard not to feel like a thousand pounds were just left on my shoulders. I felt like I had ruined Cali's life and my way to make up for it was to take care of the kid. But there was always a part of me that kept saying I was going to be a terrible father. Only now, I'd ruin three lives instead of two. It was just a number that continued to increase the deeper I threw myself into this situation.

I started doubting myself too much. I kept thinking that maybe Jake was right. Maybe I should just step back, pay child support, and not have to deal with the family structure. It would probably save Cali a lot of future arguments and issues between the kids and I. But then I thought about my dad. My dad who was probably the best person I ever knew. I wanted to be able to teach my kids the things he taught me. I wanted to be like him and show my kids what it was like to play soccer and throw a football and watch movies with aliens that sprouted out of people's bodies.

I can do it, I said trying to motivate myself. I can do this.

When I walked back into the room, Cali looked up at me briefly. The nurse gave me a small nod before getting up, "I'll go get the picture and give you two a few minutes."

"Still not regretting our decisions?" Cali said once the door was closed behind the nurse.

I took the seat but didn't say anything for a few seconds, "Twins..."

"Runs in the family, huh?" She meant it as a joke but only if she knew.

"You have no idea," I muttered.

We were quiet for a while. Not really sure what to say. Eventually, Cali broke the ice asking, "Are you still going to stick around?"

"Of course," I took her hand not sure what else to do. I was still doubting myself but seeing Cali so worried had be sprouting things that I wasn't sure I even meant.

By the time the nurse came back we both agreed we weren't ready for anymore surprises. That we would find the genders of the babies our next time but for right now, we settled with the twins bomb. The nurse understood and handed us our first baby picture. Still, I could see the outlining of the baby's head. And right next to it was another one. Or I think it was another one. I wasn't really sure how to look at an ultrasound. I knew mom was going to be ecstatic though. And Shawn was going to make fun of the family tradition.

When Cali and I were back in the car on our way home it was tense again. We were going to stop by my house to deliver the news before I would have to take Cali home. It felt like the world was collapsing around us. It felt like all odds were against us. It felt like everywhere we looked we were judged. But even then we somehow knew it was going to be ok. I guess that's what we latched onto: hope. Hope that the future for our kids was going to turn out just fine.

When I delivered the news at home, everyone was overjoyed. It was the first time I had seen my family happy in a while. For a few minutes, we all forgot about everything bitter-sweet that has happened over the last few months. We celebrated by eating ice cream and talked about baby names. Cole and Shawn were ecstatic about becoming uncles. Tori wanted to be the aunt. Suzie said if we chose her to be the godmother she'd be the best godmother in the world. Mom was in tears from the joy of being a young grandmother. Seeing everyone so happy only reminded me that good always comes out of the bad.

*******************************

Tori's POV

Mark's parents were throwing him a going away party. It was nothing to extravagant. Mostly just his family and friends. A few of this cousins showed up but other than that it seemed more like a get together than a party. There was a barbecue that Mr. Bennett set up happily. While everyone was outside talking, Mark and I stayed together. He and I were sharing the porch swing that was placed in the end of the backyard. It was a bench which probably could have left room for more people but no one came and bothered us. Even Blake, Cole, and Shawn left us alone. They were too busy consuming the cake that Mrs. Bennett had made.

"You excited for college?" Mark asked his arm squeezing me closer to him like he was pulling us back to reality. We had gone quiet for a while, enjoying each others company as we watched the children play in the backyard with Sarg.

"Yeah," I answered looking up at him. "I keep talking with that roommate and I already know a few people that are going there too."

"That's good," He smiled. "Any people from our school?"

"Yup," I thought about it for a second before answering. "Hayden, Sunshine, a few girls we know and I think Trent is stuck between either that one or another one."

Mark nodded like he was thinking the people over. He didn't seem jealous anymore, he actually looked really calm and comfortable. "Man," He said grinning. "College sounds like so much fun. You better write me."

I smirked, "What would you do if I didn't?"

He wiggled his eyebrows at me, "Stuff."

I pushed him away as we laughed but he quickly grabbed me and pulled me closer than before. He kissed my cheek causing me to smile, "I'll write you letters every week I promise."

"Pinky swear," Mark held out his pinky for me. I entwined my pinky with his and we kept it there. I moved my hand inside of his and then wrapped my fingers around his hand. Mark followed and before we knew it we were holding hands. "Stay the night," Mark said softly.

I smiled, "Only if my parents let me."

"I already asked your dad," Mark said grinning. "He said sure."

"What the actual heck dad," I laughed. Dad had been in this weird mood lately. Ever since I graduated he was basically letting me do whatever I wanted. He used to be controlling and give me curfews and I would have thought that after my accident he would've wanted me to stay home half the time. Instead, he stopped caring. As long as I didn't do anything illegal, he didn't mind.

"Maybe he just trusts you," Mark said. For a second we considered that and then laughed. Yeah dad trusts me but I sincerely doubt that was why he would say yes.

"There best not be some PDA there!" Shawn shouted from the porch. He suddenly started talking in deep horse voice, "We're watching you. Always watching."

I rolled my eyes before sighing sadly. Shawn had already started treatment and medications for his cancer. Every time he would come back from the clinic or hospital he would still smile and play games with us. It was like nothing had changed at all but for everyone in the house, it did. Lilly was taking it the hardest but also with confidence. Dad also seemed to take it personally. Even though the Trips weren't his blood related sons, he looked at them like they were. So he tried asking around and getting strings pulled. As the new soon-to-be Sheriff, he was given a lot more perks.

"He's going to be ok Tori," Mark reassured me. "He's Shawn Parris."

I only nodded because I didn't know what else to do. The whole family was taking it hard. And then when Cole came back home without Jodee it only seemed to get worse. "It just feels like everyone's leaving," I said sighing softly. "And everything is falling apart."

Mark took a second to answer. Especially because he was leaving too. Eventually he said, "No I disagree. Yeah, everyone is leaving. But you guys aren't falling apart. If I've learned anything from your family over the last couple months is that you all depend on each other. Even when everything feels like its collapsing, you each have each other to lean on. When you're sad, they're all there for you. It's like us. We're going to be apart, but that doesn't change the fact I love you. You and your brothers are going to be separated but I'm willing to bet that it's going to help you become closer. Just watch."

"Wow," I said impressed. "Who would've thought you were so wise."

"Well," Mark grinned. "I have my moments."

"Too bad those moments don't happen when we're playing Battlefield."

"Ok you cheated and you know," He said suddenly defensive.

I laughed, "Or you're just a terrible shot."

"You willing to bet on that Linean?" Mark said standing up. He gave me his hand like it was a challenge.

I smirked taking his hand, "I'm going to kick butt."

"We'll see about that." Mark smiled helping me up. He handed me my crutches before I followed him into the house. We kicked Conlan and Suzie off the TV in the living room to play. My brothers soon joined us, watching how Mark and I played on the console. Blake just looked flabbergasted at certain moves. He would give uproars or applause every so often. Cole would give us tips. Sometimes we didn't know which of us he was talking to so it would quickly become confusing. And Shawn was our cheerleader. He would get up and make a stupid cheer whenever we did something "good."

"Go Tori!" He would say standing up, "Go go go Tori! Kill, kill, the bad guys. Whoooo!"

We'd all laugh at some of the cheers he would make up. Eventually, Mark's aunts, uncles, and cousins started heading out. Even mom and dad decided to leave, asking us to come home whenever we pleased as long as it was ok with the Bennett's. Suzie stayed with us explaining that Cole would drive her home since we all took one car to get here. "You staying the night Tori?" Mrs. Bennett asked as she was the sink cleaning some of the dishes. We were all still around the living room, now taking turns playing the game.

"Yes ma'am." I answered looking up briefly.

"Good," Mr. Bennett rolled himself into the house from outside. He was holding the leftover cake before he grabbed a fork and started eating it. "That means Mary is going to make waffles in the morning."

Shawn, who had been sitting on the couch, suddenly started to slowly rise. If he had a theme song, it would be the shark one. His eyes were wide and his mouth opened steadily like he was about to let out a scream. "Did someone say," he whispered before yelling out, "WAFFLES?"

For a second I think we all thought Shawn fainted. He was suddenly on the ground causing all of us to worry but quickly we noticed he was just rolling on the carpet hysterically laughing like a madman. He was crying from his laughter and all we could understand was him repeating, "I just love waffles so much."

Mrs. Bennett laughed, "If you'd like to join us for breakfast Shawn, you're more than welcomed."

"Yeah," Mark chuckled. "I still owe you for helping me with that history project."

"What time should I be here?" Shawn asked.

"Mark leaves around seven. So I was going to make a really early breakfast." Mrs. Bennett answered.

Mr. Bennett, who was inhaling the cake, grinned. "Mary makes the best waffles. It's worth waking up early for."

"It's true," Suzie added in. "Whenever we stay Mrs. Bennett always makes us waffles. I get them with chocolate chips."

"I'll be here." Shawn said standing up. He exaggerated a thumbs up like he had just caught a Pokemon. Then he pulled his phone out and started playing his favorite bunny game.

Cole coughed in his hand and scratched his temple, "I mean...I like waffles too."

We all laughed and the boys decided to join us for breakfast tomorrow morning. I wasn't looking forward for tomorrow but having my brothers there reassured me more than I thought it could've. After a few more rounds of TV and an episode of Total Drama Island (Shawn insisted), my brothers decided to head home taking Suzie along with them.

When they had finally driven off, which I was surprised they did without give me "the talk," Mr. Bennett wheeled over to Mark and I where he said, "So like do you two want a hotel room or something? Or what?"

"Really dad?" Mark asked his face red with embarrassment as I laughed.

Mr. Bennett put his hands up like he was surrendering, "I was just asking. Don't worry though, as much as we love you Mark, we're going to the movies. Conlan, you coming?"

"Huh? Nah I'll stay." Conlan said. He had been focused on the TV show in front of him then gave us a side glance. Mark coughed getting his attention. They exchanged some weird looks before Conlan let out a big groan and got up. "If you wanted to be alone with your girlfriend you should've just said so."

"Smooth." I commented as I laughed. While the Bennett's got ready to go to the movies I grabbed my crutches and started heading upstairs. Mark was about to follow me but then his dad called him. I slowly made my way to his room and once I was inside I tossed my crutches to the side and hopped to the closet. "What'd your dad say?" I asked when I heard Mark enter the room. I was too busy going through his shirts and flannels to look at him.

"Something really embarrassing referencing caution when performing a certain act." Mark grabbed the crutches I had tossed and leaned them against his desk. "What are you looking for?"

"That really soft green and blue lumberjack flannel you have." I answered still going through his clothes.

Mark chucked and walked towards me as we heard the opening and closing of the garage. He stepped beside me letting me lean against him since I was trying to balance myself on one foot. Reaching up--to a shelf there was no way I'd ever possibly be able to reach--he grabbed the flannel I was talking about. "This one?"

"Yes!" He handed it to me and I buried my face into it. It was softer than a t-shirt and smelled just like Mark. I was about to start changing when I realized he was still standing in front of me and looking down with a raised eyebrow and smirk. I poked his stomach trying to push him away. "You can turn around mister."

"If I'm being one hundred percent honest, I really don't want to." Mark added. I stared him down for a second before he finally turned around letting me use him as a wall to stabilize myself. Every so often I would catch him peeking over his shoulder before I'd hit him lightly in the back causing him to laugh softly. "Do you want any sweatpants?" He asked me as I finally managed to take off the jeans I had been wearing.

"Nah I think I'm good." When I looked down the flannel covered me to mid-thigh. It was also summer which meant that most nights I slept in shorts but the shirt was already longer than most of the shorts I'd wear. I had folded my clothes neatly into a stack at my foot before putting them to the side. "Done."

Mark turned around and looked down at me. He barely had his hand on my hip just to help me keep balance but his focus was on looking me up and down. Eventually he just shook his head and laughed softly, "You'll be the death of me Tori."

"Yeah well, help me get to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Then we'll figure out how I'll kill you." He helped me hop by way to the bathroom that was connected to his room. Inside, my toothbrush was already next to his. He picked me up by the waist and sat me on the counter as we both brushed our teeth. While we brushed our teeth we started making weird faces at each other. Mark stuck his tongue out at me which was covered with the toothpaste foam. I in turn, smiled at him while violently brushing my teeth. We both laughed and took turns gurgling water and using the towel.

He picked me up bridal style and put me on his bed as he walked back to his closet to grab some basketball shorts. "You know," Mark said walking towards me after taking his shirt off. I pretended to be interested in the book he had left on his nightstand. "I still can't get over the fact that your dad actually let you stay." He looked bewildered but quickly brushed it off when he started to take his jeans off to replace with the basketball shorts.

Oh wow, I thought to myself. The main character of this book is named James. Who knew.

"Is it out of trust or pity?" Mark asked standing in his black boxer briefs. He pushed his jeans to the side before grabbing his basketball shorts.

Oh wow,  this James is a guy.

"Tori you listening," Mark asked.

No I'm watching. I thought but answered, "Uh-huh."

My voice failed me causing both Mark and I to look up in shock. It had come out a lot higher than I had intended. After he overcame his initial surprise he smirked, "You're holding the book upside down."

I frowned, "Then who's James?"

Mark chuckled before putting on his basketball shorts. It still didn't help with the fact his chest and abdomen was in full view. You'd think that after seeing his shirtless countless times I would be used to it but I sure wasn't. He reached over taking the book out of my hands before sitting at the end of the bed where my feet were resting. "So you've been practicing how to walk?" He asked smiling softly.

"Yeah," I grinned. "Wanna see?"

He waved his hand in front of us like directing me on a stage. I stood up, still holding onto the nightstand as Mark moved up the bed. He ended up lying down with is arms behind his head as he watched me. Slowly, I placed my bad foot on the floor and took a quick step. For a second I had lost my balance and Mark sat up to catch me if I had fallen, but I quickly regained my stability. I looked towards Mark and bowed, "That will conclude the act for tonight."

Mark clapped giving me a warm smile, "Very nice very nice. That was better than the dancing elephants."

I crawled back onto the bed where I ended up straddling Mark. He was sitting up and suddenly I could feel his hands on my thighs. His fingers just underneath the shirt that risen up when I sat down. The necklace that Mark had given me was dangling from my neck between us. He reached up with one hand to lightly touch it. Then gave me a bitter sweet smile which instantly changed the playful mood.

For the last couple weeks we had spent just about everyday together. If we weren't together then we'd still somehow text or call each during every second of everyday. We had gone apple picking in the north, zip lining, and numerous days to the local pool. Knowing that tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, I wasn't going to see him killed me a little bit inside. I knew he was going to be ok and I knew he was always going to come back to me, but I was going to miss him more than I thought. My teddy bear was finally leaving me to fend off the dark alone, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it yet.

I lent down placing my lips on his. Mark immediately answered back. As I arced towards him his hands slowly rose up my leg causing chills to run down my back. I wrapped my arms around the back of his head and kissed him like I was trying to tell him how much I love him. When we broke for air all I could do was give him a sad smile. I didn't want good times to end. "I love you," I said quietly to him.

"And I'd die for you." He replied before cupping my face and kissing me again.

He gently rolled us over keeping a hand on my waist. My shirt rolled up leaving me cold but whenever Mark moved his hand on my side I suddenly felt warm inside. He kept our fingers interlocked as he held my hand over my head. When he moved I moved along with him. I thought air would have been the issue but we found ways to breathe in between our kisses. Eventually, his hand trailed down my side to behind my knee where he pulled me closer to him.

That's all I really wanted. Me and him and no one else. Nothing else. If I could stop time I wanted it to stop here. I wanted this to play in a forever loop where nothing would happen in the morning. Morning would simply never come because Mark and I would stay in this time forever. I wasn't sure how long we were awake. I was sure that Mark probably hadn't gotten much sleep. We briefly heard his parents come back but then there was silence again. Even when we weren't doing anything we were awake. We stayed awake facing each other and enjoying the last bit of time we had.

I probably fell asleep early morning. But when I woke up it didn't feel like I hadn't gotten rest. Maybe because of the adrenaline pumping through me and knowing that if I crashed I would probably miss Mark going. What woke us up was his alarm. He had set one of his phone the day before and he reached over to turn it off. "Stay," I said holding his arm down as he was about to get up. "Five more minutes."

Mark settled back down. I could feel his breathing in my hair since he was behind me. His arm functioned as my pillow while his other one was wrapped around my body pulling up my shirt. Even though I closed my eyes I knew I was wide awake. Mark pressed his lips softly against the back of my neck and held them there for seconds before finishing the kiss and moving to another part. When the alarm went off again, the first rays of the sun started to show from the blinds.

He got up this time, slowly moving around his room like he was groggy. He had already made his suitcase and bag which were already downstairs. So all he did was get dressed. I pulled the covers towards me, trying to get the sleep out of my eyes. We would look each other in the eye, share sad smiles, before continuing to do what we had before. We didn't talk or play around. If Mark walked past me to grab something from his nightstand he would take the time to kiss the top of my head. But other than that we hardly interacted.

When we were both dressed and ready, we went downstairs where we found Conlan, Mr. Bennett, and Mrs. Bennett in the kitchen surrounded by waffles. Conlan and Mr. Bennett were already eating a stack. I had placed one on my plate but couldn't find the appetite to eat it. A part of me felt like crying. I knew everything was going to be fine but that didn't stop me from feeling the pain of it all. Mark had just finished a waffle when my siblings appeared. Every one of them looked tired except for Shawn who seemed energetic. He brought the life to the table, sharing jokes and stupid acts causing all of us to laugh. Even I managed to crack a smile.

"Alright my boy," Mr. Bennett said. "You ready?"

Mark nodded and we all followed him to the garage. Mrs. Bennett was driving him and I had insisted on going along but everyone agreed it'd be much easier if I had just stayed home. It would mean an easier goodbye and a less painful trip back on the road. I still didn't believe any goodbye would be easy, but I did believe that the ride home would probably be hell.

We all seemed to be set in an assembly line as Mrs. Bennett waited in the car for all us to say goodbye. Mark started out with my brothers. They didn't have much to say except for Shawn. Shawn threw himself onto Mark pretending to be sobbing, "But I love you so much!" He cried as he latched himself onto my boyfriend. Mark just stood there, laughing softly as he tried to get Shawn off of him. He told Shawn he loved him too which caused Shawn to gasp loudly and start to hysterically cry on Cole's shoulder.

Blake shook his hand while Cole gave him a weird man hug and wished him luck. Mr. Bennett was next. He hugged his son tightly and even though he looked sad, he also looked proud. He was beaming when he saw that Mark was in his uniform. Conlan was sniffling. Suzie was standing next to him trying to comfort him and we could all tell he was trying hard not to cry. Mark lent down, his brother suddenly becoming taller than him. "Keep me posted on hockey, ok?" Mark asked Conlan.

Conlan nodded, wiping his arm across his face before hugging Mark tightly. "I'm going to miss you."

Mark had his arms wrapped tightly around his brother who started to cry softly on his shoulder. "I know. But I'll be home before you know it." He said softly. When he looked towards Sue, who was standing behind them looking at Conlan sadly, Mark said to her, "Make sure you watch after this guy."

Suzie smiled at Mark and nodded. She gave him a quick hug before he turned to me. I felt in the same boat as Conlan. My throat was burning from un-shed tears. My eyes felt watery and I knew that if I tried to speak I would start to cry. When he stepped in front of me he gave me a quick look before putting his arms around me. I wrapped mine around his waist and hid my face in his chest. I wanted so badly not to let go. I tried remembering every aspect about this hug. The smell of his clothes, the sound of his heart beating, the warm feeling he always seemed to radiate. Even though he was leaving, that one hug made me feel better.

When he started pulling away I could already feel myself sink down. This was it. He tilted my head towards him and gave me a soft smile. We didn't have to talk. We had said everything we had to last night. Both of us knew that all of our thoughts had already unfolded. He leaned over, kissing me lightly. Nothing extravagant or out-of-this-world. "Hey," He said smiling. "Don't forget to write me letters."

"I won't." Shawn sobbed as he blew his nose in Cole's sleeve.

"What the heck Shawn," Cole said wiping his arm on our brother.

That got all of us to laugh softly. When I looked up at Mark my voice was shaky the tears were starting to pool too much in my eyes. "Every week." I said smiling back. A small tear shed down my cheek and Mark quickly wiped it off with his thumb. He gave me one more kiss before turning and getting into his car. We all followed the car out of the garage and onto the street until finally it was out of sight. I wrapped my arms around myself until Conlan joined me. I placed him in front of me, putting my arms around him as we stared at the corner where the car had turned. "He'll be back," Conlan nodded like he was talking to himself. "Before we know it."

I smiled softly and ruffled my fingers through is hair, "I know big guy."

***********************************

Mr. Bennett had given Shawn all the extra waffles which he finished on the day Mark left. Now it was over two weeks since Mark was gone and I was still feeling down in the dumps. I had kept my promise and written him his weekly letters. Shawn had started packing for New York, turns out Lilly was still letting him go. I'm not sure what conversation he had to pull it off but he did. Em was constantly over, helping him decide what to take and what not to take. Blake was somewhat in the same boat. He was getting ready to move as well. For college and for the babies which meant that Cali had been spending most of her nights here. Which left Cole and I. Whenever our brothers had their girlfriends over we would get together and play sad songs on his guitar. He was still upset over Jodee and I was slowly coming to terms with Mark. Of course, it was different. Mark was still mine, but Jodee seemed way farther from Cole's reach.

I was sitting on the couch fiddling with the necklace Mark gave me when suddenly Blake threw a plastic gun at me. "I challenge you to a water fight," He said grinning. Lately, Blake hadn't been smiling as much. Maybe it was the stress or maybe it was just his face, but seeing him smile made me happy. I just wasn't in the mood.

"Can we do it tomorrow?" I asked.

"Nope," He replied showing off his own blue and red gun. "You. Me. Water fight outside."

I picked up the gun and pumped a pathetic shot at Blake, "Whoosh."

He rolled his eyes, water hardly touched him. He grabbed my arm and lifted me up. "Enough sulking, come on Tobi."

"I'm not feeling it Cake." I answered. We walked out of the backdoor and onto the porch.

"Now!" Blake shouted as he moved to the side. Suddenly, my whole family was shooting me with water. Mom and dad were throwing water balloons at me. Suzie and Cole had a pistol in each hand. Shawn was yelling at the sky like a maniac as he pumped his water gun at me. I wasn't sure if I was in shock from the fact they all ambushed me or the fact that the water was freezing cold.

"I'm going to kill you all!" I shouted as I brought my water gun up and started pumping it in all directions.

"Retreat!" Cole yelled as he and Sue ran away. Mom and dad bailed out as well leaving Blake, Shawn, and I.

"I'm going solo with Foo-Foo." Shawn winked at us and ran off into the trees. Sarg decided to follow him, probably because Shawn was leaving a trail of dog treats. According to him, the dog treats also attract fairies which means he was constantly carrying them around.

"Guess that leaves you and me Tobi." Blake grinned. I squirted his face with water causing him to sputter. "What was that for?"

"For having me ambushed." I replied before smiling back. "Now we're even."

He grinned putting the gun up like he was about to go hunting, "You ready Miss Parris?"

"Right after you Mr. Parris." I waved my hand in front of us and suddenly we both charged into the no man's land. We were back to back, spraying water everywhere as Sarg barked in the distance. Cole and Sue were hiding in the tree house. Mom and dad took control of the bushes. Shawn was running around randomly as he was chased by Sarg.

I looked around and saw mom and dad giving wide grins as they hid behind the trees. Cole and Suzie were laughing hysterically. Shawn was goofing off like always. And when I looked at Blake behind me he was smiling. A contagious smile that made me happy. This was my family and our wild times and games were never going to change.

I smiled along with Blake and was glad to call this place home. I was glad to call these three boys my brothers.

*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*

Well...first of all thank you to all my loyal followers that actually stuck with me even though I was absent for like...forever. I really hope the update was worth it and if it wasn't I promise the epilogue will be. But that also means there's only one update before I'm done. Crazy right?

Y'all really are the best readers ever though. I promise my next update won't take a year to upload because I already have like half of it written down--bless. But stay in tune because it's not over. There are STILL some unanswered questions. I hope that this chapter was bitter sweet though.

Also, I've been working a few other stories which is why I'm excited to move on from this book too. I hope you all follow me on the next journey as well. Other than that, have a happy new year and lets pray 2017 is better. I promise to update soon and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for being patient.

I love you all!!!!

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