Epilogue

Shawn's POV

"Whoa..." I said as we stepped into the apartment. My hands were carrying a few boxes and Em walked behind me tugging along our suitcases. "This place..."

I set the box down on the counter. Sure the apartment isn't big. Actually it's tiny. It was basically only one room where a bed fit and a counter separated the room from the kitchen. There weren't any doors except for the two that lead to the closet or small bathroom. And there was only enough space for a desk in the corner. But other than that...it seemed perfect to me. I ran over to the window and opened up the curtain expecting to see a brick wall but instead there was a view of the street in front of us including a small fire escape that had an empty plant pot.

"I like it." Em said smiling softly. I turned to look at her, her grin widening. My smile could not describe the amount of happiness that surged through me. I ran over to Em hugging her tightly as she laughed while I kissed her head continuously.

"This place," I said between kisses. "Is so amazing because you're here."

"Hmm..." Em looked up at me her arms holding me close. She kissed my chin lightly as she said, "This is our first home you know that?"

I nodded pulling out my phone placing it in front of us, "Selfie!"

As we settled into the house we would goof around. Em let me put a whole case of hats under the window because she placed cushions allowing it to become a small seating area where we'd read. Next to it was Em's bookshelf that she decided to bring up all the way from home. The moving truck was downstairs and luckily we found a flat with an elevator. That was something Em had required when we were looking for places to live.

New York was constantly buzzing. The moment we arrived all that was happening was persisting movement. Between the cars, people, and even the lights, everything was in motion. Every so often if a car let out a large puff of exhaust I'd have a small coughing fit until Em would hand me my inhaler. That was why we tried to find somewhere that wasn't located directly in the middle of the city. We soon learned that everything was city but some places were better than others. Honestly, the city life was way different than the little bubble we used to live in.

Some people aren't city people and they prefer calmed areas and lives. But New York moved like my mind did. Constantly shifting from idea and idea and never stopping. All it did was move just like I think. It was like watching the inside of my head and I'd never felt so at home. Even if a part of me was dying at least I knew this would live on.

Em had chosen the perfect home. Not just the inner aspect of our little flat but right across from us was a coffee shop. When I first stepped into that shop all I could smell was waffles. My mouth instantly started to water and from that moment on I realized how unconditionally screwed I was now living right across from this cafe. A few blocks down was a Barnes and Noble and I think Em knew too because the moment we walked in she went to Customer Service and picked up a few books she needed to read for over the summer.

"So," I said once the movers finally left after transferring all our stuff from the truck to the small flat. "What could we possibly do now?"

Em finished her bowl of cereal, the only food we currently had in the flat, and checked her watch. "We could go see the new doctor that you'll be visiting. Maybe check out the clinic."

I groaned ripping some tape off the moving back, "That's a worse idea than a unicorn sniffing a acting like a dog and sniffing another dogs butt. "

Em chuckled, "I guess we'll do that tomorrow. So...ice cream?"

I looked up at her and smiled, "You're getting warmer."

She gave me a smile, "What'd you have in mind?"

"We could break the bed in." I said grinning. The mattress was still sitting up on the wall but the bed frame had been set in place over a carpet. "You know," I raised an eyebrow. "Because new apartment and all."

Em laughed and together we managed to place the mattress on the bed frame. I grabbed her hand taking steps on the bed, "Come on let's break it!"

Em and I jumped on the bed for what seemed like hours. And I mean literally jump. We played games and acted like the floor was lava. We'd put cushions on the ground hopping from one to another until finally we were both exhausted. We didn't break the bed. At least not until later that night. Needless to say, my first day in New York was the best one I'd have for a long. Long. Time.

************

It didn't take long to get into a schedule. I'd have regular check ups with my doctor to monitor my cancer and even though we all wanted to believe it wasn't getting any worse, it sure wasn't getting any better. Mom and all my siblings kept in contact with me throughout the process. And if for some reason I wouldn't answer them when they called, Em would. There were some days I didn't want to talk and other days when I didn't want them to hear me talk. So Em would tell them how I was doing and continuously keep them posted on what was happening in my life.

Em went to college everyday. It was expensive, more so than already being on campus but we managed. I didn't have a job although I tried looking for one. Even if I found a place to work, Em wouldn't let me. She said I would be wasting my energy for something that wasn't as important. We started arguing a lot more often. I told her I was better off moving back home where I wouldn't hold her back. But then sometimes when I'd get really sick I would be ridiculously thankful she was there for me. I hated bickering and it never got us anywhere. So we always ended up on our bed cuddling as we watched Disney movies.

Even though I couldn't find a job I found success. The journal I made for Tori during her coma gave me ideas. I'd look through it and every morning when Em had classes I'd go to the coffee shop and order my favorite drink with a side of waffles. One day the waffle maker they had broke so they made me pancakes instead. Sure, I was disappointed at first but then I found out that pancakes are just as good as waffles. Maybe not number one but one and a half. Eventually I became a loyal and valued customer that was known by everyone in the shop. I'd walk in, take my seat which seemed specifically reserved for me, and the cashier would give me a smile and say, "The usual Shawn?"

I'd smile back and nod, "Keep refilling my cup till I pass out from pure electrical buzz."

They never questioned me. I would sit at the table for hours typing on my laptop. Letting my imagination roam free. Then when my first book was published I did a signing at my same table. They never questioned me when my hair started falling out. And they definitely didn't question me when some mornings I'd come in looking like hell. It was always the same smiles and greetings. Sometimes when they knew I had a rough week they'd give me free coffee. I told them I didn't accept pity coffee because regular coffee tastes so much better but they just replied, "It's on the house because it's a secret recipe no one can know about. Including the customers. See, it'll help you get better. Like a fountain of youth sort of thing."

They all read my book.

When Em arrived home she'd stop by the coffee shop to pull me out. Then we'd do whatever we wanted to do. On good days we'd go on dates in the city. On bad days, dates consisted of hospital food or staying at home with a bucket next to my feet as I threw up all night long.

There were days I'd cry. I'd scream to the world that it was unfair. That I never felt like I deserved it. I'd like to say I never pitied myself but that's a straight up lie. Of course there were days I'd curse at the world. Begged for death. Begged for everything to end. Your whole life you spend breathing. Your entire life. Something everyone seems to take for granted. Like those moments you get a cold and feel self guilt for not taking advantage of when you could actually breathe through that one nostril. But now that feeling hurt. Now it was a constant struggle and it hurt to breathe. I didn't want to breathe anymore if it just meant pain all day.

Talk about John Green, my voice would say.

Shut up, I'd reply. I'm not Hazel Grace or Augustus Waters.

But frankly I would rather go through all that pain than the pain I went through whenever I saw Em cry. That was probably the worst of all. I remember one day coming home after my usual coffee and waffles and saw Em crying on our bed holding a picture of us. I knew something was wrong when she hadn't picked me up but I hadn't noticed for an hour. She didn't say anything at all when I walked in. She didn't even bother to hide her tears. I simply crawled into bed beside her and held her close to me as she cried. She sobbed. She cursed. Em never curses...

"It's not fair," She would say crying hysterically. "Why'd it have to be you? It's not fair it's not fair it's not fair!"

Those were the moments I would have to hold her up. She was constantly supporting me. Through the chemo, the book I wrote, and even at home. She gave up everything for me. Nights out with her friends and sometimes even getting good grades. She'd stay up late studying and sometimes I'd wake up nauseous. She would have to pet my head and hold the trash can for me as I threw up.

I can't recall how many times I threw up, bled, or coughed something up on my Em. And through it all she would still kiss me goodnight. Pulling the blanket closer and silently crying next to me. I'd give anything to hold her in those moments but I just couldn't. The nights I was weak she would hold me. So the days she lost control I did everything in my power to comfort her just like she does for me. Eventually she would fall asleep.

Even my humor didn't get me through. It was always Em. My humor never dwindled. Actually it probably got stronger. I had to make jokes to make people laugh. They'd look at my bald head and instantly pity me. The only way for me to get rid of the pity was to make them laugh. I had to show them that I wasn't weak. I was still me and if there was something that wasn't going to change, it would be my sense of humor. It tended to work. I actually started spending time with the pediatric cancer wing of the hospital to make little kids laugh too as they went through chemo with me.

It was one night though. One night that I knew from that moment on nothing would ever be the same:

Em seemed hesitant at the moment. She kept biting her lip and fiddling with her fingers as we had dinner. Our usual fruit salad. Em had changed my whole diet. She believed that if I ate healthier it would help even just the slightest. She let me have my glorious waffles every morning but that was about it.

"It looks like you have a bumble bee nagging at your brain." I chuckled. "What's up?"

Em looked up at me with her big eyes. "Uhm..." She smiled softly, "How are you feeling?"

I rattled the bottle of pills next to me, "Fine. I haven't felt this good in a while. It's like all the rainbow has returned to my unicorn horn."

Em laughed softly, "Yeah?"

I nodded, "Yup."

She sighed in relief, "It's just..."

I grabbed her hand to try and get her to talk. Kissing the inside of her palm lightly. "Em you can tell me anything." I gave her a reassuring smile. Sure I was afraid. Whenever I saw Em serious there was always a part of me that was afraid she would leave me. Or ask me to move back with my mom. I wouldn't blame her if she asked me to. Suddenly I became a lot more work that neither of us expected.

"Tomorrow there's this outing on campus." Em said smiling softly as I kissed her fingertips. "It lasts the whole day. And I don't want to leave you alone for so long but I promise I'd be back by later in the afternoon. Do you think it'd be ok if I went?"

It hadn't occurred to me until then how much time she had put away for me from her friends until then. I felt a huge pang of guilt. It was like someone had taken a hammer and nailed a gong inside my heart. Here was my beautiful girlfriend being isolated from having fun--from having the best years of her life in college--because of me. "Yes!" I instantly said. "Go! Please. And when you get back tell me all about it!"

Em and I slept soundly that night. When the sun broke the horizon she headed out and I gave her a goodbye kiss before heading down to the cafe. Em had told me to call her if I didn't start feeling well. Or to call Cole that didn't live too far away. He visited us every few weeks or so. But not so much considering he spent most his time studying.

At the cafe I felt pretty good. It became a thing where my fans would come visit me. Even though I didn't have a job and money was still an issue for both Em and I, at least I had a paycheck. My book didn't take off instantly but suddenly it was becoming more popular and I wasn't sure how. No one seemed to disrupt me whenever I was writing but every so often the owner of the cafe would get my attention to tell me I had a couple fans that were watching me from the window. I would look over, sometimes a group of girls, sometimes couples, and sometimes just a guy or girl that were too shy to say anything. I would always walk up to them and talk to them. Always. Even when I wasn't feeling my best I wanted to know who they were. And that was the great thing about the cafe, I could talk but I could also write. I'd spend my whole day there between eating breakfast to getting my lunch.

But that day it was something weird. I entered the cafe and the baristas already knew something was wrong. "Rough day Shawn?" One asked me with concern written on her face.

"Yeah I don't know." I answered between breaths. I had taken my medication in the morning so the pain in my chest was bearable. Not necessarily painless, but it had been worse.

I'll just have to go get my lungs drained out again, I thought to myself.

You should call Em, my voice said.

You know exactly why we're not calling Em, I replied.

I ordered my usual, remembering to put my extra change in the little fund jar that the cafe has. One day when they asked Em what cancer I had they decided to change out their tip jar to a cancer donation jar. Every month or so they also held fundraisers with bake sales and coffee samplers and whatnot. I have book signings and they place nearly half of what they make into the fund to find a cure. It brought me to tears the first time they had a fundraiser.

"The usual," the barista said while bringing me the waffles and coffee. I had already set up my laptop and notebook on the table, placing them to the side when the plate arrived.

I poured my syrup on the waffle--a little piece of heaven on earth for me. I should've realized something was wrong the moment I tasted that waffle. Even on my worst days the waffles made me feel like I was on top of the world. For a second I feel the warmth of life come back in me even though it's probably just my obsession over waffles. But this day, the waffles tasted like ash. I was completely disgusted and had to run to the bathroom where I threw up.

The baristas were used to me getting sick. Actually, whenever they saw me run to the bathroom like that they would turn on all their blenders and machines. At first I thought it was because they didn't want their customers to hear me throw up. But then I realized that Em had actually talked to them about how I always felt self-conscious and guilty whenever I puked.

I had to go home. I thought that maybe it was the new medication that was taking my waffle appetite away. But after throwing up I felt my energy completely drain. My flat was not far away from the cafe but I took a cab. I literally got in a car, went up the street about a block, and stopped. The cab driver didn't say anything. He just seemed afraid that I was going to get him sick because I probably looked like hell.

"Maybe I should get you to a hospital," The cab driver said. I ignored him and handed him a five before stepping out on to the pavement.

You need to call Em, my voice said almost frantically.

I can't, I answered as I rode up the elevator.

I could feel tears start streaming down my face as I stumbled into the hallway. I fumbled to get my door unlocked and when I did I quickly went over to lay on my bed. My mistake was putting my keys, wallet, and phone on the counter. I think I was laying down for about ten minutes when I started breathing heavily. It felt like I was drowning. Air simply wasn't filling into my lungs. Or maybe there was too much fluid. Maybe my body just finally gave up. I wasn't sure but all I knew was that panic started filling me up faster than the air that I was supposed to breathe.

I grabbed my inhaler but my efforts to inhale the medicine failed. I couldn't get up. I fell out of bed in my attempts to get to the counter to call 911. I crawled my way there. Panting. Wheezing. Sucking in as much air as I could but getting nothing. I was gasping and nearly thrashing and tears were running down my face as I realized this was it.

"I'm sorry." I tried screaming and I'm sure something came out of my mouth but it was probably rambling or muffled through my gasps. I collapsed on the floor--all the energy in me had given out entirely. I couldn't hold myself up. I couldn't move. I just stayed still and focused on breathing. Silent tears kept streaming down my face as I kept focus. Even with me breathing all my mind could think of was Em.

The way she always smiled and laughed whenever we'd go to the park. The way she'd kiss my chin every day before saying good morning and getting out of bed. The way she held me at night and smelled like vanilla regardless how many times I must've thrown up. Most importantly, I remembered the way she looked the last time I saw her.

She was wearing her favorite shirt that just so happened to be a reference from a character in my book. Her hair had been pulled back into a bandanna and her jeans were ripped. She wore a leather jacket and her favorite pair of ray bans on her head as she got ready to go to the outing with her hiking boots. I told her she looked badass. She laughed. She kissed me. She said she loved me. And I said I loathed only vital excuses you too.

I'm sorry, I thought again. I'm so sorry.

I don't know how long I was on the floor. I felt like a fish out of water. I could breathe but I was slowly dying. I think I blacked out for the most part. Or maybe I had an out of body experience like people say they do before they die. I'm not sure. All I remember was hearing the door open.

I must've been there hours. Em called my name--she was probably worried she hadn't seen me at the cafe. Or she called and I hadn't picked up. Or maybe the baristas told her I had gone home. Em called my name again only this time it was filled with terror.

I felt her hands on me as she turned me to my back. She yelled my name a few times. And started talking. I wasn't sure what she said exactly. All I could remember was her tone. Frantic. Hysterical. Afraid.

It felt like a lifetime that I was there but suddenly I heard the cry of an ambulance and then I knew I was being picked up by the paramedics. Like I said, everything went by so fast. Or at least it seemed that way because soon I was at the hospital. I heard yelling, I felt lights on me, people were poking me and trying to understand what was happening.

I think I went into surgery. Wait...did I go into surgery? I can't remember. But I do remember Em. That was the only thing that stuck with me the whole time. I couldn't hear what the nurses were saying. I couldn't even hear all the noises from the machines. But every time Em spoke it stuck out like an angel among them.

"It's going to be ok Shawn," She said through sniffles. "You're strong. Come back to me."

That went on forever. Em didn't leave my side the whole day. Maybe it was more than a day. I don't know. But when I finally regained consciousness it was dark outside. I had opened my eyes to the sight of the white ceilings. Craning my neck to look out the window seemed impossible because I was stuck into place like a stone. My throat was dry and it felt like my whole body was lead. There was no pain and in the corner of my eye I could see why: Morphine.

I rolled my head to the side realizing I was alone in the room. The door was slightly open and I could see Em cupping her hand over her mouth as the doctor spoke to her. I didn't have to listen to know what he was telling her. Suddenly an arm wrapped around Em pulling her in like it was shielding her and I realized it was Cole. He started asking the doctor several questions, he started to argue like there was a way to fix this but there wasn't.

Shawn, my voice said somewhat fearfully.

Yeah?

We're dying aren't we?

I think so, I answered.

I don't want to die.

I didn't reply. I coughed softly which seemed to get Em's attention. "He's awake," she whispered to Cole as she came through the door. She ran to my side softly holding my head to her as she kissed my forehead. Her tears streamed down her face onto mine. I could feel my own eyes filling up with tears so I put my arm around her to hug her as tight as I could. It probably didn't even feel like anything but then again when I was lifting my arm it felt like I was lifting a ton of weights.

"I'm sorry," I cried into her. It was then I realized my voice was hoarse. Almost inaudible. Frustration and fear started climbing its way into my body. Everything was giving up. My lungs. My voice. My willpower to live. I felt like everything was dying. "I'm so sorry."

"It's my fault." Em sniffled. "If I had stayed--if--if I had just stayed. We could have gotten you here faster--I could have--if only--"

"No no no," I said looking up at her. God I was tired. Every time I moved it felt like I was wasting every ounce of energy left. I sighed, "It's not your fault Em. It was never your fault. I should have called when I started feeling bad. I love you so much Emily. I'm sorry I don't say that as often. But I love you so much. So so much."

Her voice got caught in her throat and she wiped her tears with the back of her hand. She pushed a smile kissing my forehead again. "I called Cole."

I looked over at my brother without moving in Em's arms. He was at the foot of my bed. His smile soft but sad. His eyes watery and daunt. "Hey little brother." He said walking towards Em and I.

"We're triplets Cole," I said grinning. "We were born the same day."

He let out a half laugh before grabbing my free hand. He took in a shaky breath like he was about to say something but all of sudden his eyes became overwhelmed with water and he started sniffling. "It's going to be ok," He said squeezing my hand. "I'm here for you."

I smiled back but seeing both the love of my life and my brother crying I knew that wasn't true. "Did anyone ever tell you you're the worst liar, Hollischolar?"

He laughed putting his arm around Em as well, "We're here for you."

I looked between them feeling grateful and guilty. "I thought I was going to die alone," I said quietly.

We didn't talk much. We just held each other and I realized that I hated goodbyes. They held onto me like I was about to fall. Maybe they could catch me before I fell or prolong my stay but I knew holding on wasn't enough. Cole had already called everyone else in the family. Mom and dad were waiting to catch a flight with Suzie. Blake was already on a plane here having dropped off his twins with their mother. And Tori was waiting at an airport for her flight. I didn't know how much longer I had left. If all of them were coming it could only mean one thing.

So I called them.

"I love you Shawn." Mom said hardly covering up her sobs. "I'm going to be there soon ok? You wait baby. I'm coming."

This was the person that raised me. The person that took care of me my whole life. Who loved me even when I did everything stupid. My mother. She was always there for me when everything was right and wrong. She supported me in decisions she probably knew weren't the best for me. She pushed me through to be better but knew that I what I loved to do was to make people smile. She never got mad at me. No matter what jokes and stupid things I would do, not once was she mad. And if she was it was probably because I ruined some perfectly good shoes. This was my mom. I didn't want her to see me like this. Not like how dad looked when he died.

"Shawn everything is going to be ok." Bill said. "We're going to be there. You're going to get through this just like you always do. Just think about all the waffles you can eat after this."

"Shawn," Suzie sniffled. "I love you."

I couldn't speak when everyone spoke to me. I just told them I love them. That I always will. That I would always look out for them even if I wasn't there. I couldn't dare talk or I knew I was going to break down. And they had enough guilt already. Then I called Tori, "Shawn?"

"Hey Tori..."

She wasn't crying. At least if she was I couldn't hear her. "Shawn..."

"Tori..."

"I love you Shawn."

"I love you too Tori."

There was silence. And neither of us dared to hang up. "You're my best friend Shawn."

"Stay on the phone..." I asked her. "Please."

So she did. Em and Cole kept her on the phone until her flight was called. We all knew she wasn't going to make it so before she was about to take off I could hear her crying. I had only seen or heard Tori cry a handful of times but this was full on sobbing. She tried making me feel better by laughing softly and saying people were staring. But when she hung up I knew that was it.

I was slowly drifting off. My eye lids felt heavy and my body was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of living without air. There was a knock on our door what seemed like hours later. "Hey," Blake walked in his face just as sad as everyone else's.

"It's about time you showed up." I smiled at him lightly as he joined Cole and Em. He hugged them both before placing his hand with Cole and I's.

"Hey baby brother." He smiled lightly.

I rolled my eyes as much as I could, "I already told Cole this but I guess I have to tell you too. I was born on the same day. Thank you very much."

Blake pulled his hand away from ours and ran it down his face slowly. I never thought I'd see him cry. The myth was that he cried once after dad died. But no one knows if it was true or not because they weren't there. He took a deep breath and suddenly I saw how bloodshot his eyes were and how tears were streaming down his face. He was covering his eyes with his fingers and through a sob managed to say, "Don't go Shawn. We need you."

Cole sucked in a sob suddenly tightening his grip on my hand, "We're triplets Shawn. Not twins."

I could feel my eyes burning along with the back of my throat, "I was always the screw up in the family."

"No you weren't." Blake said in the midst of crying, "You were always the best of us. You're the one that made us happy even when we thought we had no right to be."

I grinned, "It's good to see my death brings you to tears. I always thought you were just made out of stone Blake."

"You're our brother." Cole added his voice breaking unable to say anything else.

My doctor walked inside to check up on us. He looked grim but no one bothered to look at him but me. After months of him treating me, I had gotten attached to the poor man. It made me wonder how many patients he'd lost. I used to think doctors were evil. Or just scary. But this man taught me what it was like to be a fighter. He was compassionate and caring. He showed me what to do in order to prolong my stay.

"Is it going to hurt?" I asked the him.

He shook his head, "No Shawn. It's not going to hurt. I'll make sure of it."

I nodded looking up at Em who's tears kept falling on my face. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were red from crying. "You're beautiful." I said to her.

The doctor gave us a small sad smile, "I'll leave you to say your...goodbyes."

Em couldn't speak. Her voice failed her every time she tried. And even though I was crying I wasn't going to let my voice falter on me. Not now.

"Emily," I said to her through a smile. "I'm sorry you got stuck with a screw up like me."

"Shawn," Em put her arm around my head leaning forward. She looked up at my brothers for a brief second before turning to me. "You're not a screw up. You are nothing like a screw up."

I felt the guilt start to eat at me like the cancer. I was glad I couldn't feel the pain. Because if I did I probably wouldn't have been able to cry. "I'm sorry Emily," I said through choked words. "I'm sorry I can't fight anymore. I'm sorry I'm dying. You deserve so much happiness and love and I'm sorry I can't do that. Em I love you so much and I'm so sorry."

"Baby," Em said lightly stroking my cheeks while shushing me softly. "I love you Shawn Parris. I love you more than you could ever imagine, which is a lot don't you think?"

I sniffled nodding my head and craning into her hand.

"I don't regret any of it Shawn," She continued. "All I ever wanted was your love."

I squeezed her hand as tight as I could, "Promise me you'll find someone else. Promise me you'll find someone who will love you as much--if not more--than I ever could."

Em looked like she was in physical pain. She squeezed back but didn't answer through her hesitation. In a quiet voice she pushed through the words, "I promise."

I looked towards my brothers who joined their hands with Em and I. They had their arms around each other and Cole's face was filled with tears. Blake only cries for those he loves and the fact his face was red and his eyes were puffy told me just how much he cares. It made me feel prideful. "You're both my brothers." I said shakily, "I love you both so much."

"How are we supposed to get along without you?" Cole said sadly.

"You'll manage," I said grinning. "Maybe you can find a textbook all about it."

"We love you." They both said at the same time. I was going to miss that. The triplet telepathy I always had with them. It was always our thing. Just like being the Parris Trips was. Or how we always did everything together. We always went everywhere together. But now I was going alone. They weren't coming with me and although I was happy they were staying here, I was also scared. What would I do without them. Without my brothers that have stuck by me my whole life. How was I supposed to move on without them? Where was I supposed to go?

"Promise me you'll take care of her," I said to them as I glanced at Em. I looked at both Blake and Cole with the most serious face I could conjure. "Promise me that you'll invite her to Thanksgiving and Christmas and get together for dinner and charades. And when she finds someone new you'll welcome him too. Tell me you'll treat her like your sister. That you'll call her and ask her how she is. You'll go get coffee and have fun at the carnival. You have to promise to make her blueberry waffles a Sunday morning because those are her favorite. And watch Aladdin with her because she loves that movie. Listen to Frank Sinatra in the car even though you'll probably hate some of his songs. You have to swear that you won't forget about her and you will treat her like our family. Like a Parris. Because she's one of us. Just promise me that...th-that's all I want. Promise?"

Blake and Cole put their hands on Em's shoulder like they were taking her under their wing. Like they were treating her as if she were family. All I wanted was to make sure that someone would be there for her when I can't be. And I trusted Blake and Cole with everything. If I had the chance, I would take a bullet for them because I know they would take one for me too. "We promise," They both said.

I nodded settling into my hospital bed. "I'm ready," I said quietly. Mainly to myself more so than everyone in the room. My eyes stayed trained on Em. Her face was close to mine, enough so that I could skim my finger on her cheek. I smiled softly at her already feeling more tired than before. I felt like I was drifting away. It already felt like some of my body had gone to sleep.

What does dying feel like? Like slowly sinking in water. You're floating but slowly your feet go under water and you can't feel them. Then your body slowly sinks down. You're arms are next along with your chest. When finally you feel the water at your next and you're barely staying above.

"Give me a goodnight kiss Em."

She kissed me softly. Her tears falling uncontrollably. It didn't seem like she could speak with the amount of crying she was doing.

"I want you to be the last thing I see." I told her.

"I'm right here Shawn."

I closed my eyes still being able to perfectly picture Em. "Never forget me."

"Never."

I smiled remembering the first time I met her, "Love me forever."

"Forever."

"Emily?"

"It's ok Shawn. I'm right here." But her voice was fading. Everything seemed to be fading. The water was climbing up my neck over my head only leaving my face.

"You were the air Em," I wasn't sure if she could hear me anymore. I hope she could. "You were the air that kept me breathing."

I drowned.

*****************************

Eight seconds. That's what they said. They said that it lasted eight seconds. I was dead for eight seconds.

There were a lot of factors that played into those eight seconds. Most people still don't believe it. I still don't believe it. But after I had "gone under" or "passed away" or "dropped it till it stopped" I was apparently gone for eight seconds.

It's a miracle really. No one knows how I came back. Theoretically, I'm a zombie. Except, I don't eat people or have this craving for brains. I like spaghetti, but not brains. What I remember is darkness. I was apparently in a coma-like state after those eight seconds. But from the reports, the doctors, and what Cole told me it kinda went like this:

I had died. My monitor had gone flat because my heart had stopped. Em was sobbing and Cole had to pull her in for a hug to shield her away from my body. That was probably a full two seconds.

On the third second, Blake finally registered what had happened. He ran to my body just as the nurses arrived to call time. He started performing CPR which only drove Em even more mad. She kept saying, "Blake it's over. It's ok. Just let him be." But Blake couldn't let go. According to Cole, he was hysterical. He was shouting and cursing and the nurses were too afraid to pull him away. Em sobbed into Cole's shoulder and Cole stood there feeling helpless as he cried. He was trying to be strong. For Em and Blake. But it didn't stop the fact that he was sobbing too.

After three more seconds of CPR, Blake stopped. The nurses called time. My doctor came in to give his sympathy. But then after that eighth second, something weird happened. According to the doctors, they say that because of Blake my body rewired. It was like a computer that just needed to be rebooted. My heart came back which they couldn't believe. My body was suppose to be dead. Poisoned. Even if I was alive, wasn't I supposed to be brain dead? The combination of cancer and chemo was supposed to kill me but instead, I came back. When my monitor beeped, the doctor looked baffled. The nurses went to make sure it wasn't broken. They checked my pulse. It was faint. I mean, probably the pulse of an ant faint. But it was there.

My doctor didn't know what to do. The nurses kept asking him what actions to take but instead he just stood there with his mouth wide open. "I don't know," He said which later got recorded. "This hasn't ever happened before."

A few more seconds passed by and the nurses were afraid I was going to crash again. They put me on life support and continued my treatment. Even if I were to wake up they all believed I wouldn't be there. They thought I was a vegetable, but they still tried. I was on life support for 24 hours. Instead of my health getting worse it was getting better.

My heart-rate increased. My body was producing everything normally--well as normal as someone with chemo and cancer in them could. Hell, even my lungs were opening up. I was asleep I think three days. It felt like three years by the time I woke up. The first thing I saw was Em and I asked, "Am I in heaven?"

I think she, Cole, and Blake cried harder that day than when I was actually dying. They couldn't believe it was me. They didn't think I would wake up. But they stayed. They kept telling me that I had died. That my heart had stopped. That my body had given up after a long fight. I had thrown in the towel, but like Rocky I jumped back in place. By the time my doctor came to see me I was already eating some pudding.

"Is this a dream?" I asked him.

He still looked baffled. They had taken an MRI of my chest just a day before. He placed both of the images in front of me showing my cancer before my death and after my death. "It shrunk," He said smiling without purpose. "I don't know how. It's a miracle, but they shrunk a whole centimeter. I've had this job for over fifteen years and never has that happened."

They did more tests. They checked my blood for some fountain of youth component. They took MRI's of my brain and whole body. CT scans too. Then X-rays of my legs just to confirm. I mean, every possible test you could think of, I did it. I did it because they did not understand what it was that happened.

Everyone always asks me what it felt like being dead. Everyone asks me if I think it was an act of God. If it's a miracle. Or if I just had a secret medication. Something off the counter or found in Mexico. I never knew how to answer. And by the time I left the hospital, everyone seemed to know my story. 'Shawn Parris, Your Real Life Zombie' was basically pasted all over the place.

My book jumped to the number one NY Time in a few hours. It stayed there for a year. I broke some record or something because my name quickly became known again. I ended up publishing my book in every language possible because of high demand. I sold more copies than the Bible, and the Bible is the most sold book in the world.

Sorry God, I thought to myself.

And Jesus, My voice replied.

Sorry God and Jesus.

My new fame didn't stop me from seeing what was actually important. Em and I still stayed in our little flat. I had a new found joy when going to get my chemo treatments. I didn't think I would ever be happy to get chemicals pumped through me, but now I did. Grandpa would call me frequently and ask me how I was. When mom called him and told him I was diagnosed with lung cancer, he had apparently been smoking. In that instant, he stomped on his cigarette, and threw away all the packs he had. Ever since then, he hasn't smoked.

My whole family still couldn't believe I was alive but then again who could? Those eight seconds are a blur. What even is eight seconds? I remember being told by a bull rider that the eight seconds he's on a bull are the longest of his life. When the gate opens and the bull charges out trying to shake you off, you hold on. You hold on to dear life and don't give up. They're the longest eight seconds of your life but the reward and satisfaction that comes afterwards is worth it.

That's how I felt except I was being shaken off in a different way. I was being told to give up even though I didn't want to. I didn't want to accept defeat but I did. I'll still never understand it. When I came back my entire body did too. It felt like the energy that I had lost was finally coming back to me. All the energy I seemed to have in high school came back. I laughed louder, I smiled wider, and I acted stupider.

Everything started fighting back--my body, mind, and even my attitude--eventually, after months and months and months, I was in remission.

During the time after my death, remission, and anything later, I still went to my coffee shop. I started donating more money to cancer charities. My book sales were continuously going up. I ended up having to get an agent to help me manage my book signings and whatnot. If I wasn't around the world I was around the nation.

Em joined me whenever I went. We were living in luxury but we tried hard not to flaunt it. We rode cabin on airfare, stayed in our apartment, and drove Em's rusty car. But there were times I took advantage of the money. For example, on Christmas I had gotten Em's student loans paid off completely. She cried with joy.

That was one thing about my life that I definitely enjoyed the most. Yeah, the fame and popularity was nice. It was cool having money to buy as many waffles as I wanted. But nothing compared to Emily. After I came back she didn't do anything but stay by my side. She took me home. She nursed me back to health and even started going to my treatments with me. She had stopped going unless I needed her to. Her seeing me as weak as I was did not appeal to me whatsoever.

When I was dying, it looked like she had aged ten years from stress. There was always a glow in her but now she radiated. Her youth and happiness came back like a spark that ignited a deep fire in the both of us. Sometimes I'd catch her crying. I would do stupid things like accidentally burn a hot dog and she would just break into tears. At first I didn't understand why and then I realized it was because I was there.

Suddenly, every moment we had together, every second--good or bad--we cherished. At first she blabbered on that it was too good to be true. That something tragic was going to happen to either of us because I was alive. Sometimes she just couldn't believe I was there. I would hug her and kiss her and tell her stupid things about unicorns and rainbows to remind her I'm real and this isn't a dream. She'd only look back at me with eyes filled with tears and nod. "Yeah," She would say smiling brightly. "You're definitely Shawn."

"Wrong. I'm a zombie." I would answer as I chased her around our small little flat while making zombie noises.

When my hair, body, and color started coming back to me, I stepped up in my field. I could write again and that's what I did, write. With the help of my agent I scored talk shows and book signings everywhere. At talk shows Em would stay by the cameras and at book signings she would sit next to me and say hi to the fans as well.

We finally had a social life again too. Now that I didn't have to stay home I would go out with her and her friends. I never realized how fun and active they were. When I first met half of them I had been sick. I would cancel dinners and plans because I wouldn't be feeling well. When I got better they treated me like I was a life long friend. It hadn't occurred to me that Em spoke of me so often. I guess I thought she would want to be friends with everyone else to get away from my sickness. Instead, her friends knew me almost as much as she knew me. We bonded quickly, some cried when they saw I wasn't bald. I grew close with them and truly enjoyed myself when I was with them.

I was a lot more careful out in the open now. There is always a part of me that is afraid my cancer will come back. If I walked by car exhaust I would hold my breath. If someone sat next to me that smoked I would casually move away. I tried hard to get away from the city on weekends to enjoy the fresh air more. But for now I wanted to enjoy life like it was.

Which is where I bring you now: the present.

Em is busy in the bathroom trying to get ready. We already have our flight tickets to go back home. Tori is having a birthday party to celebrate her 22nd birthday and graduation. It is a getaway for my brothers, Tori, and I as well. We are all exhausted from our jobs and fame which meant we are taking a family vacation to the lake house.

"Em!" I yelled loudly after I had signed the clipboard for the FedEx man. "Oh my jumping jumble-berries. Emily!"

"What?" She asked after turning off the hairdryer.

"It came in!" I yelled shutting the door behind me and running into the flat. I sat on our bed quickly trying to rip the box open. "It came in it came in it came in!"

Em ran out of the bathroom, her hair getting her shirt wet. "Shawn that's awesome." She smiled taking a seat behind me as I opened the box. She snaked her arms around my torso and neck hugging me from behind and peering over my shoulder. "Open it! I want to read it on the flight!"

When I opened the box, my new book was sitting in the styrofoam in full glory. I took a deep breath in and started kicking my legs as I made a high pitched sound with the back of my throat.

"Isn't it amazing?" I asked gliding my hand on the cover. I handed the extra copy to Em who was admiring it. She pulled me in for a hug before kissing me quickly. I kept my arms around hers as she placed the book in front of us to read the synopsis.

"Your readers are going to be so happy Shawn." Em beamed. After I had gotten a deal with Hollywood to convert my book into a movie, I realized my absence of writing and began a sequel to the original book. It was always meant to be a trilogy but I never thought I would be able to complete it.

"Speaking of," I grabbed Em's hand as I stood up. "Come here."

I led her to our small window seat. It is surrounded by cushions and looked out to the street and coffee shop. The comfortable nook is where Em and I spent most of our time reading. We always took turns but lately I had been reading to her a lot. When I was sick it was always the other way around. Her voice would soothe me and make me forget about the pain. I would lie curled up under her chin or on her stomach. She would run her finger on my head after my hair had fallen out as she read and if I had to hurl she would keep the trashcan next to us. Now it was me reading. I am overly enthusiastic to read. I use my many different character voices that Em loves. Sometimes I stand and act out the scenes--especially if it's a confrontation or fight. Em couldn't be happier.

I stood her next to the window and smiled, "Flip to the dedication."

Em looked at me slightly confused but excited. She gave me a soft smile as she flipped the book to my dedication. It had taken me a long time to think this through and finally I knew exactly how to say it. The dedication wasn't short, but then again I didn't care. I was the author, I could do whatever I pleased. Em looked at it for a second before saying, "Shawn..."

In one hand I held my copy of the book flipped to the dedication. "Em," I grabbed her hand and got down on one knee. She instantly gasped and hid her face into the open book before looking at me through the top. I couldn't see her smile but I could tell she was beaming by the look in her eyes.

"People always ask me how I'm alive," I said reading what was on the page. I didn't even have to look because I have it memorized. "For the longest time I couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't know what it was that gave me the will to live again. I could've died the moment I was brought back but I didn't and now I know why. I couldn't leave you behind Emily. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. You're all I need and ever will need to breathe because Em, you're air. You give me and everyone around you life. You're the Rex to my T. The rainbow to my unicorn. And the air to my lungs. So would you give me the honor of forever being the laugh to your smile? Will you marry me?"

Em couldn't make any words out because of her crying. She was nodding her head ecstatically and when I stood up we hugged each other tightly. I kept kissing the side of her head as she cried onto my shoulder.

This was another moment I knew I wasn't going to live for. And now that I was living it I knew it was worth it. When I was dying I would randomly ask Em to marry me. We would plan our future and pretend I wasn't sick. But it was always a joke. Now, now it was real. Now it was worth it. And now, I would be known as the happiest man alive.

"Yes," Em said shaking. She pulled away from me laughing softly. Her hands cupped my face and between kisses she kept saying, "Yes."

I smiled placing my forehead on hers. I pulled the small box out of my pocket showing her the ring I had bought. Instead of tears Em just smiled and laughed as I placed the ring on her finger. I had taken my time choosing the ring. Another perk to being a rich author was: I didn't bother looking at the prices of the ring. I chose the one I knew was right. The center diamond was a light pink surrounded by little diamonds. Inside of the ring I had 'I Only Loathe Vital Excuses You' engraved. Em kissed me again and smiled, "I love you Shawn."

I grinned keeping my hands on her waist. This is without a doubt the happiest moment of my life. I know that my wedding would soon over come it. And after that the moment we have kids. But that's in the future. And this is the present. My books being published, my cancer being cured, they're in the top five now. Because this--this is bliss. This is love.

The moment I woke up from death, my intention was to get Em an engagement ring. And when my book started bringing in money I realized I could do it. I could actually propose. "I wanted to do it in front of our families," I finally said before chuckling. "But then I thought, it'd be so much better if millions of books were printed with my proposal."

Em laughed leaning against me. "Wait till you tell everyone I cried. Probably the worst reaction to a proposal ever."

"I disagree." I grinned, "It would've been worse if the Robo-Dal-Ma-Tons came and attacked."

We stood by the window for a long time. Just holding each other and admiring the ring. I couldn't be more thankful. A part of me was still thinking I was in a dream but then I realize this is actually happening. And all those years of telling myself that everything would be ok paid off. Because I was right. As long as I had my fiance and siblings by my side, everything would be fine.

So is Foo-Foo going to be your best man? My voice asked.

I laughed, except this time, Em didn't know why.

**********************************************************

Cole's POV

I'll never forget my first day at Harvard University.

It actually wasn't a sunny day. No one was throwing the Frisbee on campus. The clouds were gloomy and it looked like it was about to rain. But every freshman on campus smiled nevertheless.

There was a mix up or some issue with the housing when I applied, so instead of being located in a freshman dorm, I was placed in one of the Houses. Houses were only meant to upperclassmen so I called my counselor a few weeks ago to confront the mistake. They said it could be weeks before they can change me to a regular dorm, so I told them it was ok. I would easily manage where I was placed.

It wasn't really a dorm. It was actually more of an apartment. I wasn't sure who I was living with. They probably marked the Random square when filling out who they were going to live with. But if I was placed in this spacious apartment, my roommate must be an upperclassmen. It took me a while to bring all my boxes up to the room.

When I was done I decided to stroll around campus looking for Matt Kingsmen. He was Dalton's brother and in my pocket I was holding the letter Dalton wanted me to hand deliver. I still wasn't sure why Dalton couldn't just call his brother but I decided against asking. Might as well learn the structure of the campus.

"Excuse me," I would ask groups of students. "Do any of you know Matt Kingsmen?"

They would shake their heads, apologize, then resume with their conversation. I found a dorm counselor and asked if they had Matt Kingsmen down on their roster. Still I got nothing. When I finally gave up I decided to sit on the courtyard. If Dalton was in his early twenties and he has a brother, it would mean that Matt has to be a junior or senior here. Unless he's in graduate school which means I would never find him.

As I sat on the courtyard, I decided to people watch. The sky was really gray and with the setting sun it started to mix in with different hues of orange and red. I took a deep breath and couldn't help but smile. A part of me still couldn't believe I had made it here.

I wonder what Jodee is doing.

The moment the idea popped into my head I sighed deeply before getting up and heading back to my new home. By the time I reached the door that led to my flat, it started to rain. Students that were still unpacking were desperately trying to get inside. A few students just laughed and ran around the rain like it was a blessing. I laughed to myself when I saw a couple jumping in puddles and ironically, dancing in the rain.

When I stepped back into my flat the fire alarm was going off. The loud beeping was piercing my ears as I saw my roommate standing in the kitchen swatting away the smoke that was coming out of the toaster.

"Help!" He screamed when he saw me walk in. He tossed me a towel and pointed at the smoke detector that was going off. "Get a chair and make it stop before the whole building has to evacuate!"

I stood there in disbelief. My thoughts started to wonder, He looks just like--

"Don't just stand there!" He yelled, "Do something!"

It finally clicked in my head. I grabbed a chair and stood underneath the smoke detector, waving the towel underneath it until finally, it shut off. My roommate quickly rushed to the windows and opened all of them. Letting the burning smell and smoke flow out to join the rain. "Glad that's over," He said letting out a sigh of relief. Finally, he looked at me. "Hey I'm-"

"What the hell are you doing here Dalton?" I blurted out.

My roommate took a step back his hand to his chest like I had just offended him. It didn't seem to cross his mind that I was a complete stranger because he simply answered, "Excuse you, but I am not my brother. I am far far from my brother. My name's Matt. His twin."

It took a second for it to click with me. Dalton. Matt. They looked exactly the same. I mean, exactly the same. Typically, twins have something that marks them from each other. A freckle. A birthmark. Maybe a mole. No, Matt had the same body build, the same height, even the same hair style as Dalton. For a second I thought that Dalton had pulled a prank on me. Telling me about a make believe brother that goes to Harvard. And that he was here. Maybe he was a secret genius. But instead, I find Matt. He's actually real.

"Holy shit," I said stepping off the chair. "You're real."

"Yeah," Matt looked around awkwardly. Suddenly, it seemed to click that he doesn't know who I am. "You're really starting to creep me out dude. Who are you?"

"I know your brother."

He scoffed, "That's unfortunate."

"I've been looking for you all day."

"That's just creepy, man." He shook his head, "Don't admit that kind of stuff out loud. You sound like a Ryan Gosling movie."

There were so many questions running through my head. "How'd the fire start? Wait, why do you hate Dalton? Wait, what the hell am I doing in this apartment and not in a freshman dorm?"

"Time out," Matt put his hands up in a T shape. He walked back to the kitchen putting the burnt toast on a paper plate. It crumbled to ashes when he touched it. "How about, we order some pizza and start over like cliche roommates?"

I nodded pulling the seat back where it was. While we waited for the pizza, Matt pulled out a few beers from his fridge. "Want some?"

"No thanks," I replied. "I don't drink."

He tossed me a soda instead. We didn't have any furniture so we sat on the floor on opposite sides of the room. "So what's your name kid?" Matt asked taking a seat a few feet away from me.

"Cole," I said opening the can of soda. "Cole Parris."

"No shit," Matt laughed after a swing of his beer. "The Parris? As in the triplet? Man, that means we're from the same town."

"Yeah well, your brother was my boss." Matt gave me a confused look so I answered, "I mean I worked at the same place he did and he was my manager."

"Did he threaten to fire you all the time?"

"You have no idea." I laughed at the memories of working at Hollister.

"Well," Matt said setting the beer down. "I'm Matt Kingsmen. Not a complete idiot, just one that burns toast."

We spoke for a few minutes before I pulled out the letter Dalton had given me from my pocket and started twirling it in my hands. Then I lent over and handed it to Matt. "Dalton wanted me to give you this."

Matt took it while giving me an odd look. "So is your profession stalking people? How'd you get into this dorm? Aren't you a freshman? I can read it in your face. You're new. Fresh. This place is going to chew and spit you out in a month."

I honestly would have listened to his words a little better if he had not called me a stalker. It reminded me of Jodee. The way she always called me her stalker. I had a different term that I always used with her. I called it fate. But she would always laugh at me whenever I would suggest such a thing.

I tried it out with Matt. I let on a small grin looking out the window that was open. The sound of the rain hitting the windowsill. "I don't know man," I finally said. "It must be destiny then."

Matt choked on his beer in mid-swing, "A week. This place is going to chew and spit you out in a week. And stop sounding like you belong in a Nicholas Spark's book. Grow a pair."

When I started laughing, so did he. When the pizza arrived he told me about how he wanted to start over with having a roommate. That's why I probably ended up in this flat. Him being a junior meant he could have an apartment instead of a dorm. The reason behind wanting to fall with a random student was much like mine. We both decided on clicking the Random button when signing up for a roommate because we wanted the risk. His philosophy was, "If you don't take risks now you'll never know how to take risks in the future."

I just got lucky to dorm with an upperclassmen.

I asked him about how he burned the toast. Apparently, he was on a video call with is girlfriend who was currently visiting family. They were getting frisky--or however frisky you can get on a video call--with each other before he started hearing the alarm go off. He had forgotten he had put bread in the toaster for a sandwich.

He asked me how I got to come to Harvard. What I wanted to do. How my brothers were doing and where they were. Matt had attended our rival school. He was very aware of the Parris Triplets. It was a legacy I was hoping would be forgotten at Harvard, but it stuck with me. At first the idea of being known as Trip disgusted me, but the more I talked about my family the more I realized I couldn't escape the title. And I was ok with that. I was ok with sticking as the Second Triplet. I also told him about my new family. About Tori and Suzie.

I asked him about Dalton. Matt got dark about it. We had been joking around, talking about his favorite classes, and what he wants to do after Harvard. He even told me what happened with his last roommate. But when I got to Dalton he took a deep breath, "We used to be best friends."

I nodded understanding that feeling, "I'm close to my brothers and sisters."

"If I'm being honest it was completely my fault," Matt added. "We were both in love with the same girl. She couldn't tell us apart. So one day she came looking for Dalton. She wanted to choose him. She wanted to be with him. And after hearing what she had to say that was so great about him, I snapped."

I frowned, "She couldn't tell you two apart?"

"No," Matt chuckled. "The only way to tell us apart is that I've got a mole on my ass and Dalton doesn't."

"My brother's got one of those." I bit into my third slice of pizza. "The mole on his ass I mean."

"That's weird bro."

I ignored him, "So what happened?"

He sighed, "I don't know man. I was jealous that's for sure. I mean, Dalton and I look alike so it wasn't a sense of who looked better. I got into Harvard, so I figured she'd want someone more successful. Instead, she wanted my brother who was settling for average. But she made him sound like the best human being in the world. So when I snapped, I acted like Dalton. I used his voice and hand gestures. I even talked like him. I guess I was very believable because she ran away crying.

"That night Dalton and I got into a huge fight. Turns out, even though this girl loved him and we both loved her, Dalton had been having sex with one of my best girlfriends. I was pissed beyond measure. Pissed because my best friend was being screwed over. Pissed because he didn't seem to care who it was he was with. But then again, he was pissed at me too. He did really love this girl. He just didn't know what to do. And because of me she never spoke to him again. And because of him my best friend stopped talking to me. I look like him, he looks like me. Eventually, if one of us does something bad to you, you can't even look at the other. It just brings bad memories."

I know Matt had just told me some deep memories. Some he definitely wasn't proud of. But the only thing I could think of to say was, "Huh."

He looked up at me from the rim of his beer, "What?"

I shrugged, "That just explains why he's so cranky all the time. He threatened to fire me because I pushed his Chinese take out to the side in order to fit my lunch in the fridge too."

Matt laughed and after a minute I couldn't help but join him. He was holding the envelope in one hand, letting it weigh his arm down. After another bite of pizza he sat up and tore the envelope open. He pulled out sloppy notebook sheets of paper that were all stapled together. He read through it quickly. Flipping through the pages anxiously. Every so often he would give a small laugh like he was remembering an old joke. Finally, he set it down. A small sad smile was playing at his lips as he looked down at the letter that was sitting by the pizza.

"Do you have any regrets Cole?" He asked as he looked up at me after a minute. "I mean actual regrets. Not one night stand regrets."

"Yeah," I grinned down at the small heart tattoo on my hand. "I've got a big one."

**************************************************

"Cole!" Matt barged into my room. He was obviously upset. "You promised me you wouldn't study tonight."

"It's only noon." I replied before glancing at the clock. It was not noon. I looked outside--definitely not noon. I turned my attention back to Matt. "I'm sorry man. I didn't notice."

"You never do." Matt shook his head his arms crossing over his chest. Sometimes he reminded me of a dad. The kind of dad that just wants his son to go out and have fun. He's that weird dad that gets upset when his son stays and studies but glows with pride when he comes back without condoms. That's Matt. Matt the Weird Dad. "Just because you're Summa Cum Laude and top of the class doesn't mean you can't go out and have fun."

I sighed remembering the countless times Matt and I have had this conversation. It started my freshman year and has recurred over and over again. After our bonding experience with the toast, he's not only been my roommate but best friend. Which--for him--that means the responsibility of helping me get girls and go to parties.

Even after Matt graduated, we still agreed to room together. He was waiting for me to graduate so for him, that meant an extra year or two living on campus. But he didn't mind. Mostly because it meant saving money. And now that I'm top of my class and graduating early to start Grad school, it meant we were going to get an actual apartment soon. Our plan is to start our firm own firm: Parris-Kingsmen.

Matt--like just about everyone else at Harvard--believes I have no life. Whenever I'm stressed I dig myself into my work. I spend so many hours at the library that eventually everyone that works there got to know me on a first name basis. Between my studies, visiting Shawn, and still trying to stay in contact with my family, I just never have much time to go out. I became a workaholic instead of an alcoholic.

Matt is the only person who knows about how I used to have a drinking problem. He also knows why I never date anyone at school. Or even outside of school. I just don't date period. Many rumors surfaced of me being gay. My lack of interest in the female population seemed to spread like a wildfire. But then when everyone saw I wasn't interested in guys either, they just began to think I really am devoted to school.

In honesty, I just could never move on from Jodee. I tried flirting and talking to other girls. I even went on a few dates, but by the end of the night I just couldn't shake off the feeling that I was cheating, even though I wasn't. Whenever I'm on a date I see certain objects or things that remind me of Jodee. If I slept with someone, I pictured them as Jodee. That wasn't fair. To me or anyone else. So I stopped. Period.

It's stupid. Even sad. I'm hung over someone from high school. Someone who I haven't even seen in years. The last time we talked was at the airport. Sure, I see her posting pictures on social media, but other than that...I haven't seen her.

Matt grabbed the back of my chair pulling me out so harshly I fell onto the floor. "Go shower, you smell like books. And shave. God man, it looks like you were born before Christ."

I reached up touching my face to feel my beard growing in. My hair had grown out and I couldn't remember the last time I shaved. When I took showers they were usually very early in the morning when I was so dazed that I didn't even realize I was functioning on autopilot. I was glad to have Matt though. He didn't hesitate to let me know when I started looking like a caveman.

"Where are we going Matt? I need to study for the LSAT."

"You've been studying your whole life." Matt tossed me a clean pair of jeans and a button down navy shirt. "We're getting you laid tonight. So suit up."

I smirked remembering how we binge watched How I Met Your Mother the week after exams. "Yes Barney."

*********************************

"It's really loud." I yelled over all the shouting, singing, and beat of the music. The base was causing vibrations that shook me from my toes to my hair.

"What?" Matt yelled back laughing. "Come on Cole, have fun!"

A few girls appeared near Matt and I. I probably looked like a fish out of water. In high school this was so much easier, but after secluding myself it was like entering a different world. My shoulders stayed tense and I kept glancing at the exit. Matt was fitting in fine as he danced and passed drinks around with a group. The girls probably recognized him considering he spends a lot of his time out anyways. After knowing Matt for a while I discovered that he and Dalton belong to a ridiculously successful family. It surprised me thinking of Dalton but if you see Matt, he screams rich boy. So for him, partying has been his forte since the day he was born. It wasn't hard for him to get girls. He would state he came from a wealthy family and suddenly they were all over him. Me--well--I'm a Parris. Most people still don't believe I'm a Parris. Or that my family is the Parris family.

Especially now that Shawn had written a book and Blake was climbing the ladder of sports success. Mentioning I'm from the Parris Family was like calling myself a Kennedy, Jackson, or even a Kardashian. It's exhilarating but embarrassing. Matt gives everyone my last name, they suddenly ask questions or go 'Wow,' and then I'm immensely popular.

"I'm going to go get some air." I tell Matt as I head to the door. I had to fight my way out because the club was cramped and frankly, very unhygienic. I finally push my way outside where I feel a gust of fresh cold air. There was a long line of people that are trying to get in but can't because of the bouncers. That's when I decided that even if I wanted to go back in, which I didn't, I would not be able to. I took a deep breath of the city air. The lights and taxi's clouded the streets and people walked around either with their heads tucked close and hands in their pockets or partying and having fun.

I couldn't tell what time it was but I started walking down the sidewalk. I saw a local coffee shop that had a bright neon sign that read 24 Hours. It's only a block down from the club so if Matt were to walk out swaying and laughing with people I had never seen before, I could easily walk out and rescue him.

The shop gave a completely different aspect compared to the club. It was warm but not due to bodies clumped together. It was cozy. Quiet. A girl my age stood behind the counter reading on her phone and she gave me a small smile like she had been eyeing the club wishing she could go have fun instead of staying in a vacant coffee shop.

"Long night?" She asked.

I sighed pulling out my wallet to pay for a coffee, "You have no idea."

I sat on one of the tall chairs that was placed behind a bar in front of the window. It gave me a perfect view of the street where I saw a few taxis buzz through. My phone was blowing up with texts and pictures of Matt having fun at the club.

Bro where are you?

Hey, I found twins.

Dude, come back.

I smirked scrolling down at all the messages he sent. I texted him back the answer he was looking for, I'm having fun. Chill.

It isn't a lie...I am having fun...sitting at a small coffee shop reading a book I downloaded on my phone. Every so often I would hear laughter and look up at groups of friends that were swaying as they walked towards cabs or the club.

"No." Someone yelled outside.

"Yes Bambi," A man said as a group of two women and two men walked by. "You just need to have fun!"

"It's over Liam." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I lost, ok?"

"More reason to go out and have fun."

My shoulders had tensed when I first heard the conversation. That voice. I know that voice. When I looked up I saw the group was headed towards the club. My heart started racing, my hands clamped up, and all I could feel was my heart suddenly reach the pit of my stomach.

"Jodee." I said just underneath my breath. I yanked my coat off the chair causing it to fall. The clang scared both the barista and I. I spilled my coffee when I accidentally hit the table. "I'm sorry," I said frantically at the girl. "I'll be right back to clean it, I'm-I'm so sorry."

She told me not to worry about it but I was already flying out the door. I quickly put on my coat keeping my eyes on the group. There's no way. She's not actually here. She's in Victoria. In New Zealand. And even if there was a chance she was back in the states, she said she would have moved back to California not the east coast. There were times when I still thought I heard Jodee's laugh. Or hear someone say Coley-Woley again. Now I must've just been sleep deprived because she couldn't be right here.

I crossed the street in a sprint while the group laughed. A car honked at me but I still ran. "Jodee," I said louder. She still didn't respond which made my heart sink again. It either meant that she couldn't hear me or it wasn't her. It probably wasn't her. I should have given up on the spot, but I didn't. I stopped on the sidewalk and cupped my hands around my mouth, "Jo-Jo!"

The girl stopped in her tracks. She didn't look like Jo-jo from the back. Her hair was shorter than last I saw Jodee have it. It was a dyed a darker red, but the body posture and the language was the same. At least...I think it was the same.

When the girl turned around I felt like crying. My breath caught in my throat. I felt numb all over and my legs couldn't move. They were stiff in place. All I could see was Jodee and me. Jodee and I. Me and Jodee. Us.

My head started spinning, my heart was beating loudly, the cold from the air didn't stop the fact that my palms were sweating. When I exhaled my breath was visible in the air. Every pant I exhaled became white. But I didn't care. I didn't care I was cold, because it was her. It was her.

She quickly turned towards her friends who looked confused and frightened. She whispered something to them before they turned and headed to the club. Jodee slowly walked towards me. She was wearing a green-blue cocktail dress that when put int he right amount of light glittered. With the red of her hair falling over her shoulders she looked like a mermaid. It reminded me of how her favorite movie is Little Mermaid. It also made me wonder if she wasn't cold. The only thing protecting her was the blue coat she was wearing.

I wasn't sure if I was happy, mad, overjoyed, maybe annoyed. My body felt like too many emotions were running through so my mind couldn't process it. I finally said, "Hey."

"Hey," She was looking down at the ground before glancing up at me with a small tint of anger on her face. "It's been years and the only thing you can say is 'hey?'"

There was that spark. That spark of rebellion. The spark that I no longer had inside me. It was finally back inside of me and suddenly, it lit a wildfire that raged through me. "You never called," I said trying to feed my anger. For years I never got angry. I always went along with everything and everyone. Sure I never let anyone push me around at school, but at the same time I did. I focused on my studies but that only submitted me for more ridicule. I never fought back. Every since Jodee and I broke up the only fights I've ever had was when Matt ate my last popsicle. Seeing Jodee, it reminded me of all the fights we had. How they would never mean anything but seem like the world is ending. How I would scream and yell and get red faced.

No.

I will not let anyone push me around again.

"You're the one that left. Not me. You could have called me but you never did. Why?" I asked as the fire inside me started to heat up.

Ok, I thought to myself, Maybe I am a bit angry.

I wanted answers. I wanted to know why she never tried contacting me. She never tried to talk to me. Not even to catch up. The first holidays we were apart I would send her messages. For Thanksgiving, I sent something. For Christmas, I sent something. For New Year's Eve, I sent something. But after a year of sending her messages and wishing her the best, I stopped. I stopped because she never replied. She never tried to get back into contact so I stopped. This wasn't a cliche Nicholas Sparks story where the messages were lost or stolen, I knew she got them. She just decided to never answer back.

"Are we really going to fight?" Jodee asked like she was stealing my line.

"You started it."

"Really Cole?" Jodee crossed her arms. "Don't be so childish."

"Just answer the question," I pulled us to the side as people walked past us. "Why didn't you ever call? Answer my texts? I don't know, send me a freaking letter?"

"Because we were broken up." Jodee said nonchalantly.

"You erased yourself entirely Jodee. You erased me," I fumed. "Do you realize how...how angry that makes me?"

"Cole-"

"No! Listen to me, for once. Everything you and I had you erased. I haven't seen you in years. I'm finally getting over it. I'm finally learning what it's like to move on. You can't just show up to Boston and not have answers. Or have pathetic answers. You need a monologue to fill up how much you owe me. I haven't been able to get over you completely be-because--" Then I had a small realization. "Why the hell are you even here?"

Jodee had small tears at the edge of her eyes. She pushed through a smile like she was unsure what to say. "I came looking for you," She finally managed looking up at me. Her eyes finally met mine and it was like someone sucker punched me in the gut. I couldn't breathe. "And I found you. I went by your school. Asked around. And I found you. I found you at the library on campus. Your nose was in a book and I was about to walk up to you when a guy and girl sat next to you. You all started talking, laughing, and I realized you were happy. I didn't want to ruin your happiness Cole-Woley. You never had that with me."

My mind couldn't process what she was saying because I was so taken aback. "How long?" I asked her searching her face for any details. Seeing her for the first time in such a long time made me pay more attention to how she looked. "How long have you been here?"

Jodee sniffled, "I've been staying with my cousins. It's been about a month."

That was another sucker punch to my gut. If only she knew how utterly miserable I was. "I guess you became my stalker," I muttered. "Tables turn."

Jodee broke a smile before looking down and biting her lips. We stood there for a moment unsure what to say or do. "You should probably go Cole," She finally said looking up at me.

I was shocked, "Why?"

"Because you have another life."

I tried desperatly hard to be upset but I couldn't. My shoulders sank down and I kept looking around because I couldn't look Jodee in the eyes. I sighed glancing at my shoes, "But you're not in it."

Jodee took my hand. It didn't seem at all romantic, just comforting. Her fingers were holding mine and finally she looked up at me, "You broke my heart Cole. We all thought I would break yours, but you broke mine. So yeah, tables have turned."

I knew exactly what she was talking about. I stepped closer, putting my hand to her cheek so she would look up at me again."I know I did."

She sniffled keeping her eyes locked with mine, "You never said you loved me. I came back be-because...I had to know. But then I saw you so happy...so you. That I couldn't do it Cole. I lost my chance a long time ago. I threw it away. And I just have to accept it."

"You don't have to accept that." I smiled.

"Yes I do Cole!" She shoved me back. "I do have to accept it. Because you're happy."

"No I'm not." I said snorting.

Jodee mocked me snorting back, "Yes you are."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh."

I sighed reaching into my pocket for my wallet. I pulled out the picture I had given Jodee when I first talked to her at Starbucks. I had kept it folded up in my wallet all these years. Two little stick figures holding hands while Why Can't We Be Friends, written at the top in the form of a rainbow. I gave Jodee a goofy smile, "Why can't we be friends?"

Jodee smiled up at me before leaning forward. She pressed herself against me, placing her lips against mine. Maybe it wasn't a long kiss and maybe it was. I wasn't sure. All I could feel was the warm surge through my body as I felt weight, guilt, and sorrow flood out of me. This is what I wanted. This is what I'll always want. One day I might find a way to get over Jodee--if it ever comes to that--but it doesn't mean I want to have to let go if I don't have to. When she pulled back I kept my grip around her waist placing my forehead against hers. "I love you Jodee."

She smiled. Actually we both did. She looked like she was content, the weight lifted away from her just like it was lifted from me. We stood there smiling at each other, eyes closed and breaths combining in the cold air. "Took you long enough," She said. "Was that so hard?"

"There's the Jodee Bamba I know." I chuckled pulling her into a hug. I placed my chin over her head holding her close for warmth. We stood under the fluorescent lights and noise of the city. Shivering in the cold. "Can I invite you for some coffee?"

After a minute she responded, "I'd like that."

We turned around towards the coffee shop I had been at. Hand in hand. We walked down the street like nothing had changed. Nothing felt different. It almost seemed as if the few years we had we were apart but together. Now we both had stories to tell about places we had seen, people we had met. It was years of distance and silence that made me curious over everything that had happened. I wouldn't be jealous or mad or upset over anything. Even now I had known. Somehow, I had known that we would see each other again. That time of silence was now going to be filled with constant fights, distractions, and maybe even love.

"So I met Dalton's brother." I said as we entered the coffee shop.

"Not even one hour in and you're already shitting with me Cole." Jodee replied in a snarky manner.

I grinned, Oh yeah. Everything was going to be fine.

****************************************************

"Cole."

I groaned.

"Coley-Woley," Jodee poked my side as I grunted. "Wake up."

My arms are underneath my pillows as I pushed it closer to my head. When I finally opened my eyes I came into contact with Jodee's. She was pouting which caused a smile to form on my face. Her hair was draped over her bare shoulders and back. She was holding the comforter closer to herself even though it wasn't at all cold. "Good morning," I managed to say in a husky voice.

"It would be amazing if you made me cookies." Jodee replied with an eye-roll.

I threw the pillow at her before placing it over my head to drown everything out. "Go make them yourself." It came out muffled because of the pillow but I was sure Jodee understood it.

Jodee started to whine. She poked me, shoved me, tried pushing me off the bed, but nothing was going to get me out. I had spent hours finding this mattress. It took a whole day for Jodee and I to finally agree on a bed. And I was not going to move. This was the best bed in the whole world.

"Come on Cole!"Jodee jumped on top of me, which felt interesting considering she was only wearing a bra and underwear and I myself was quite nude. "We're going to be late for Tori's birthday and I want breakfast."

"You're so annoying," I muttered before sitting up and swinging my legs over the bed. I stretched my arms over my body and behind my back before running my fingers through my hair. I didn't have to look in the mirror to know it was sticking in all directions.

"You're so sexy." Jodee kissed my neck sending shivers down my body. "And you love me anyways."

I glanced at her over my shoulders, smiling. After being together for a while Jodee figured out my 'I love you' face. Of course, I would still verbally say I love you. Especially because of my past guilt-eating self that never said it to her. Now I learned to say it a lot. But Jodee says I never have to say it anymore because she can tell by the way I look at her that I mean it.

I gave her a kiss which lingered a few more seconds than we both meant to. "I do love you Jo-Jo."

Jodee snorted, "You better. Now go make me breakfast."

After I put on some pants I headed to the kitchen to fry some eggs and bacon. While I was making breakfast, I called Matt. Jodee and I are living in a penthouse in Boston. A few months ago Matt and I finally officially started Parris-Kingsmen. It didn't take long before we had customers lining up. The question everyone always asks me is: How can you afford a penthouse while paying off student debt and law school?

Simple: I graduated Harvard early. As Summa Cum Laude. Because of my early graduation, I managed to start law school early. I completely isolated myself--basically, disappearing off the face of the earth. My friends didn't see me for a while. When they did they couldn't believe I looked like a twenty year old Dumbledore because of my long beard. After graduating Harvard I went to find a job at a firm. And during law school, I didn't have to look for a job because they were looking for me. My last name must have set them off after hearing about my success and siblings.

I finally found a firm where Matt and I decided to work together. He had graduated before me which meant he was already very integrated in the world of law. So he helped me make acquaintances and meet high status people. Me working under him because I still didn't have my license. We were sharing an apartment just like Jodee was sharing one with her cousin.

At the firm I was working at, I learned about Stephen McHill. Stephen McHill was on death row. His last lawyer was honestly just terrible at his job. Not to be blunt, but it's true. I pulled some strings, I asked around. Part of me became more of an investigator and reporter than a lawyer. But when I discovered new evidence, I managed to get his case back into the courtroom.

Stephen McHill didn't have a lot of money, actually, he was basically broke. But everyone, the whole world believed he was guilty. They all wanted him to die. Which meant that when I took up the case, everyone wanted me to die.

It was a very difficult few months. First off, I rushed through my law school. Instead of taking it for three years like advised, I finished in almost half that time by taking it over the summer. Graduating Harvard and Law School early is a real kicker on my resume.

Second, by taking the McHill case I asked Jodee to leave my apartment a few times wearing a hoodie. The last thing I wanted was for her to become a target to the media. Matt stuck with me through the trial but I knew he didn't have much of a choice anyways and he was afraid constantly. We had both received threats and sometimes we would see people parked outside our home that looked as if they were watching us.

Managing my way through the trial took a really long time. Longer than anything I would have ever expected. Eventually, the case reached the Supreme Court. During the trial, the FBI became involved--again, a very stressful process. My firm fired me which meant I started working on my own time, for free. As the trial progressed, new found anxiety started to form in everyone. I couldn't pay off rent for the apartment between Matt and I because I didn't have a job. Matt had to work double, his relationship with his girlfriend nearly crumbled. I hardly saw Jodee which meant my relationship also almost crumbled.

My family was the only thing that was keeping me going. Blake, Shawn, and Tori were constantly calling me up and helping me calm down. A few weekends if I had the time I would go see Shawn just to make sure everything was ok. But even then, the whole world was watching me. They were glued to the news when we finally reached the day of the trial. I didn't sleep that whole night and we were all holding our breaths for the verdict.

"We find Stephen McHill," The court echoed. "Not guilty."

That moment changed my life.

Honestly, those months were the most stressful I had ever experienced. Jodee and I could not stop fighting. Don't get me wrong, we fight all the time. But this was different. This was We-Almost-Broke-Up-Several-Times different. Matt and I definitely started to verge out. Especially with the financial issues, it was as if we were a married couple and one of us had lost our jobs. But finally, finally, all my work paid off.

By the night the verdict was reached, I had people from corporations and agencies all over the globe calling me to help them with their lawsuits. Another few months I was paid very nicely for my hour, and I was able to pay off all my student debt while returning the money I owed to Matt and his family. Matt and I finally found a place to start our firm and bought it with the help of his parents. And after a year where Jodee worked constantly, along with my salary, we finally moved in together in this penthouse.

"Matt," I said flipping the bacon in the pan. "Did you get the call from Malcolm?"

"Yeah," Matt answered. I could hear him clicking his pen. "Do you want to represent him?"

"Hell no," I thought of the man. Amazing actor with millions of fans and millions of dollars, but I had one conversation with him and he seemed like an utter prick. I didn't mind saving fat cats from their mistakes if it meant paying off my home, but I also wanted to help actual people.

Right now, Malcolm "Manny" Osme Dean was going through a custody battle with his son. A very complicated history on who-gets-how-much-money. I talked to the son as well--a very decent and nice going man--I was definitely leaning towards the son. "Tell him I politely decline representing him."

"Good." Matt answered. "I hated that son of a bitch."

I chuckled, "If his son asks for my help though I'll represent him."

"On your hourly?" Matt seemed shocked. "He doesn't have that much money."

"But once I win for him he will." I stayed speaking long enough with Matt to finish Jodee and I's breakfast. When I was done I called her from our room and placed the food at the table.

"I still think its' weird you're friend's with Dalton's brother." Jodee added nonchalantly. Her hair was pulled up in a towel seeing as she had just taken a shower.

Whenever Dalton would come to dinner with his new girlfriend I had to admit it was weird. Although they were twins, having two of them together was just odd. Matt and Dalton had finally cleared up their feud. Apparently, in Dalton's letter, he had said that he forgave Matt. And if Matt was able to forgive him, then maybe they could patch up their differences. They did. Now whenever Matt was being lazy it would always remind me of Dalton. Every time Dalton was losing an argument around Jodee and I he would threaten to fire us even though we both obviously don't work for him anymore.

Jodee took a seat on our counter, a fork and knife in her hands. She was holding them up as if waiting for the food to magically fall in front of her, "You almost done?"

"Yes your highness. Your breakfast is almost complete."

"Don't get snappy with me," Jodee said ironically in a snappy tone. She stuck her tongue out at me. "I'm hungry."

"Hi hungry," I said placing the food on Jodee's plate. "I'm Cole. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You know I get cranky without food," Jodee mimicked me while stabbing her food. "You're a meanie."

"I'm a meanie? You're bossy Ms. Make-Me-Food."

"You should be honored to make me food."

"Bossy."

"Mean."

"Rude."

"Meaner." Jodee took a bite of the eggs and her eyes widened. "Oh my god."

I smiled, "You were saying?"

"What kind of eggs are these?" Jodee asked suddenly digging into the food. She looked like she hadn't eaten in days.

"Chicken..."

Jodee rolled her eyes, "A meanie and a liar. There's no way eggs could taste this good."

I smirked, "Too bad I'm never making you food again, Bossy."

Jodee looked up at me like I had just kicked a puppy. Worse, like I had eaten her last cookie. For a second I felt guilty by the horror on her face. "That's not even a joke Cole," She said. "You know how much I love food. I love good tasting food even more."

I shrugged, "Too bad."

"Then I'm moving out." She tried keeping a serious face but it didn't work. We were both laughing in a few seconds. Picturing Jodee move out was impossible. She had basically decorated the whole penthouse with her favorite framed pictures and movie quotes. The whole bathroom had a modern day mermaid theme. After spending hours at Ikea finding furniture, I sincerely doubt she was going to want to move out anyways. She also loved our balcony that had a view over the city. Sometimes at night I would catch her staring off into the distance.

"You wouldn't leave me," I said walking over to her. I stood behind her pulling the towel off her head and letting her damp hair fall over her shoulders. I pushed them to one side leaving me a space to kiss her neck. "You wouldn't leave me, again."

"That's exactly something a meanie would say," Jodee let me bite off a piece of her bacon as I wrapped my arms around her torso and rested my chin on her shoulder. "I miss this." She muttered quietly.

"Miss what?" I asked giving another small kiss behind her ear.

Jodee finished her breakfast before answering. It got me wondering as to what she missed. She looked sad but I could already feel a small tint of anger sparking inside, "We can never get together anymore."

It wasn't the first time I had thought of that either. Recently, with the new firm and clients that were dying to line up, it was really difficult to balance my time with Jodee. At least with Matt I saw him everyday at work, but Jodee has work too. So it's impossible for us to see each other all the time. "I'll try to Jodee but after McHill it's hard. Matt and I are still trying to get the firm fully handled."

Jodee sighed, "Ever since McHill all you do is work. Or you have interviews. Or you give interviews. You always have to do something. When was the last time we actually went on a date Cole?"

"I try to Jodee," I said somewhat frustrated. I pulled away grabbing a chair and sitting on it beside her. "Every time I can get together, you schedule to work. Why can't you just take those days off?"

"Because it's my job." Jodee said in matter of fact tone. "I can't sit around with your insane and unorganized schedule and figure out when I can and can't show up to work. If you call me while I'm at work and say you have the day off I'm not going to stop everything I'm doing, come here, and just drop my panties, Cole."

"I never said you have to stop working--"

"Yes you did." Jodee stood up and faced me.

"No I didn't," I stood up to join her. "I'm just suggesting that you can take more days off now."

"I can't do that. I'm not my own boss, I don't own a company. I'm a worker. But why would I even do that?" She asked. "You're asking me to put you over my job when you're the one that puts your job over me. It's hypocritical."

"My job lets me provide for the both of us Jodee, that's why I put it on top! You can just stay home, you don't even have to work."

Jodee scoffed, "You're such an ass Cole. I don't care if you're the best lawyer in the whole world, you do not get to make me feel like I am below you. I work because I love my job, not because I need to 'provide.' I'm not asking you to drop your job. I know you love it, but don't dig yourself so fucking deep you become a workaholic."

This is what I hated but loved about our relationship. Sure, we fought all the time. But for me it was agonizing. After going to court and winning battles, I was accustomed to always coming off on top. If Jodee was a lawyer and I had to compete against her--I would be so undoubtedly frustrated. I always lost these battles, and even if I won, it wasn't a good feeling. The best feeling was always the afterwards. The make ups and the forgiving. But right now, it was a hell storm.

"I'm not a workaholic," I said through gritted teeth.

Jodee pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. "All you do is work Cole. I see you at night but by then you're so tired you crash. I wouldn't be surprised if you got addicted to your job. It's not like you haven't been addicted to anything before."

That felt like a hammer hit me in my stomach.

"Stop always bringing that up!" I shouted. "That happened in high school! You're always talking about it but has it ever occurred to you that being a lawyer makes me so ridiculously happy that it's the reason I dig myself so deep into my job? Maybe if you just made me happier I wouldn't always be working all the time."

"So you love being a lawyer more than you love me?" Jodee shouted back.

"Yes!" I then shook my head. "No! Wait--"

Before I could say anything else Jodee stomped into our bedroom. I could hear the clicking of the lock before she yelled, "You can go to Tori's birthday by yourself."

I groaned to myself before sitting back on the chair. When I saw the dirty plates I went ahead and cleaned them. We had to be on a flight in a few hours and the last thing I needed was for Jodee to bail out. When I was done cleaning the dishes I grabbed the paperclip that I always hid on the top of the fridge and walked over to my bedroom door. After I unlocked it with the paper clip I saw Jodee standing on the balcony. I was trying my best to give her space but the thing we had the most during our 'break' was space. I hate it now.

I walked towards her and out onto the balcony. The wind was pulling her hair back and the cars beneath us honked. We could see the Boston river from here. One of the best aspects of the penthouse is the view. I think we bought the penthouse because the view was so magnificent.

I wrapped my arms around Jodee. She tried hard not to relax against me but failed. We stood there in silence for a few moments. Watching a one of the college row teams row on the river. "I love my job Cole," Jodee finally whispered quietly.

"I know," I said at the same level of whispering.

"I can't drop my job," She added placing her hands on mine. "I need to be able to know I can maintain myself too."

I couldn't think of anything else to say except, "I know."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"No," I turned her around to face me. "I love you more than my job Jodee. Because even though I work a lot, knowing you're here--at home--gives me more joy than when I leave for work. So don't think for a second my job is more important. And you're right, I do miss spending time together."

She sighed, "But you love your job and I definitely don't want to take that away from you either."

"I just want to give us the best of everything," I admitted softly. I know it was hard to look into the future, but eventually I want a family. Definitely not now. And maybe not in the near future. But eventually, I want to be able to give my family the best of everything just like my mom did.

Jodee and I had discussed this before. We talked about having getting married and starting a family. Both of us agreed that we aren't ready for that step yet. That right now we need to settle, and figure out if this is what we truly want. The last thing either of us want is to bring children into our crazy relationship. But if anyone could do it, I know we could.

"I know Cole," Jodee sighed. "But you're already the best of everything."

I couldn't help but smile. I did miss spending time with my Jo-Jo. It felt like the last couple of months weren't as intimate. We hardly had time for each other and even if we did it was very surreal.

"I have a compromise. You want to hear it?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"First off, neither of us works on Sunday's. It is the day that we spend together for sure. A whole day to ourselves. To do whatever we want to do. Second, I come home the same time you do on Friday nights. That gives us time to go out and have drinks with Matt. And third, every six months we pick a vacation spot and take a week or two off."

Jodee analyzed all of it. Missing a few days off of her work because of a vacation could penalize her. But finally she nodded, "Ok Colely-Woley. Sounds like a deal to me."

I smiled and leaned forward capturing her lips in mine. She instantly put her arms around my waist as I started threading my fingers through her damp hair. I walked her back into the room, never pulling away from the kiss. When I finally had her on our bed, I hovered above her. Kissing from her lips to her cheek to her neck and collar. "We've got a bit of time Jo-Jo." I said through a smile.

She pulled me up kissing me harshly as her legs wrapped around my waist, "I don't want to be late Cole."

That didn't stop either of us. That's one of the best things about our fighting, it always somehow ended up with bliss.

Afterwards, we stayed in bed a while longer. Soon we would have leave in order to catch our flight. But right now I just wanted to enjoy the fact that the woman I love was resting in my arms. "Coley-Woley?" Jodee asked softly against my chest.

"Yes Jo-Jo?"

She looked up at me through her lashes. "I'm sorry I'm so emotional all the time."

"I'm sorry I'm apparently a meanie."

"You are a meanie," She hit me lightly but smiled nonetheless. Then her face went serious for a second and looked at me intensely. "I'm pregnant Cole."

I shot up in bed causing Jodee to laugh hysterically. I didn't have time to process what she had just said because in that moment I realized she was kidding. She was pointing at my face but couldn't make out words because she was laughing too hard.

I let out a shaky breath through a smile. Using my pillow, I hit her over the head, "And I'm the meanie?"

She grabbed the pillow and hit me in the arm with it. "You should've seen your face," She said still giggling like a child. She sat up to meet me and placed an arm around my neck using her other hand to trail down my chest.

"I hate you so much," I said even though I was grinning.

Jodee smiled, "I bet I hate you more."

I kissed her. She kissed me. We argued who hated who the most. Maybe she was rude, egotistical, obnoxious, annoying, and a meanie. It didn't matter to me. People can't handle Jodee because of her strong character. They need to have the patience and maybe that's why a lot of people don't like her. Or they don't like her bluntness. But at least she always gives me a piece of her mind. And that's what I will always love about her.

Maybe one day we will have kids. And if we do...God help their poor souls.

When we realized we had to leave to catch our flight, we held hands all the way through the airport. Never looking back and never regretting unspoken words.

******************************************

Blake's POV

I always told myself I wouldn't cry. I didn't think I ever could cry. Not after dad died. Not after Shawn got sick. I promised myself I would never cry. And I didn't. Not until one day.

It was the twentieth day of September. Cali and I were scared because the babies were suppose to be arriving soon. God, Cali had blown up like a balloon. She hurt constantly and her feet were always swollen. I thought she was going to have permanent back damage from carrying around the twins. During those nine months all I could think of was, Thank God I'm a man.

Then the day came. Hours passed of screaming and hitting and sweating. At every scream of pain it slowly made me feel even more of a jerk. If I knew--well I did know that labor hurt--but if I knew it hurt this much? I wouldn't succumb this sort of pain to anyone if they had a choice.

"Cali it's ok." I said for probably the hundredth time. "Just breathe."

She opened her mouth to say something but it was interrupted by another blood curdling scream. Her hand clenched mine so hard I thought that it was going to break. "I'm dying," She managed to say. The nurse and I were able to crack a small smile when we realized she was trying to joke around.

"It's going to be ok," I repeated again. "I'm right here."

Truthfully, I was freaking out. My hyperventilating matched Cali's. Even with all the pain she was in, I couldn't help but dread this moment. I swallowed down the fear when another nurse walked into the room. Outside the doors I got a peek of my family that was patiently waiting. Pacing with the same tense and scared shoulders I had. Tori gave me a quick reassuring wave. We were all worried that the twins would have to delivered through a C-Section, but over the last couple of hours the nurses and doctors realized they were positioned properly for a natural birth.

The new nurse walked up to Cali and got into position, "Ok Sweetie. You're going to have to start to push. Ready?"

"No." Cali said arching her back as she bit her lip when another contraction came. A small cry escaped as she looked over at me. Tears were filling up her eyes that were coated in fear, pain, and unknowing. "I can't do it Blake. I can't."

I leaned forward from the chair that had been set by her bed. I put my arm around her, "Yes you can. You can do this. I know you can do it Cali."

She held back a sob. I wasn't sure if it was the hormones, the fear, or the pain. But I could have sworn that as she whispered I heard, "I can't."

I looked at the nurse who was positioned at Cali's feet. She kept looking between us and the opening of Cali's legs. "Ok, Sweetie, start pushing!"

I slipped off my shoes and climbed behind Cali. It wasn't difficult, her back was basically arched up towards her legs. I held both her hands acting as her cushion for her back. The next few minutes were filled with screams from everyone in the room. The nurse yelling for Cali to push, Cali screaming with pain, and me helping the nurse help Cali.

In the midst of the sweating, screaming, and motivational speeches, I would whisper in Cali's ear--telling her about how wonderful our family was going to be. I told her how kids bring joy to people. I told her how 'mommy' was going to be their first word. I told her that these two children were going to be the most beautiful things in the world to us.

Then there it was. It was like in the movies. Everything around me went silent. The beeping of machines, the talking of the nurses. All I could hear was a cry. A wail. The most cliche baby cry in the world but it was happening to me. So for me it sounded like angels singing. My heart sank deep into my stomach like an anchor. I was suddenly consumed by fear and excitement. I let go of a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. This was the moment, the moment that I had been dreading since the day I found out Cali was pregnant. I thought the last nine months were hard but now it was like leveling up to the next stage.

Cali threw her head back a small tear falling down her cheeks. We watched the nurse wrap the bundle into a blanket. She and a few other nurses were already tagging the baby. "One down," Cali whispered to me. She was exhausted and I wasn't sure how she could possibly go through another one. "One more to go."

I kissed her temple running my hand through her hair. "You can do it."

I let her grip my hands again as she started bracing for the next child. While she pushed she didn't see me watching the baby. I wasn't as motivational but I didn't think she noticed. The nurse was helping her well enough. My eyes were locked on the small cries and cooing that was happening in the corner. I want to see the baby. It's my baby.

Eventually, a second wail pierced through the room. It almost seemed like the two were crying out to each other. They sounded like they were searching for each other. After being in the womb together for so long, they were reaching out for their other half as they entered the new and scary world.

"Congratulations," The nurse said after Cali collapsed against me. I looked up just as they nurses approached carrying the two bundles. I was handed the first born and Cali was given our second. "You have two beautiful baby girls."

That wasn't much of a surprise. We had known for a while what the genders were but I guess we just never believed it. "Really?" Cali asked looking at our daughters. Tears were pooling into her eyes again but this time it wasn't out of sadness. Her smile was filled with pure joy. She looked up at me, "Blake..."

I finally looked down at my daughter. I was holding her close but that was because I wasn't sure what was blanket and what was my daughter. I finally saw her face. Her little face was scrunched together. Her head was no bigger than my hand. Her eyes were closed because she was still crying with her sister. I ran my finger down her cheek, she stopped crying long enough to open her eyes. Blue. A smile crept on my lips. I knew babies were usually born with blue eyes. But the blue I was looking at was my blue. Not baby blue.

I glanced over at her sister, Cali was holding her close and cooing into the blanket to stop her from crying. The baby looked exactly the same except for a small birthmark on her chin. My smile only grew wider because although it was no bigger than a mole, it looked like the shape of a strawberry.

I felt my chest constrict. My heart start to speed up and slow down like it wasn't sure I was content or excited. My body felt like it was in space. What even is gravity? Nothing I had ever done felt like this cloud nine. Air didn't seem to exist. I couldn't breathe. I ran my finger down my second daughter's face. She gave a few more spurts of crying before ceasing. My smile fell because my heart melted into my body taking all my other organs with it.

"They're mine," I said quietly.

Cali was probably looking directly at me but all I could do is glance between my twins. When I finally looked up at Cali, she looked petrified. Ever since we found out that both babies were going to be girls, she continued to ask if I was ok with it. For her, this was the moment of truth. Looking down at the little girls, I couldn't say no. I could not muster any power to ever refuse these two beautiful little girls that were now mine.

"You're crying," Cali ran her thumb under my eye. "Blake you're crying."

I didn't acknowledge it. I didn't even try to fight the tears that started to pool into my eyes. Cali bunched closer to me, letting me see our second daughter. I couldn't make out any words. I couldn't think about anything except the fact that I was feeling myself let go of everything I had ever bottled in. "They're beautiful," I said.

I broke into controllable sobs. I pictured myself as their dad. I was going to make sure that nothing bad ever happened to these girls. I never thought I'd cry. And I never thought I would change for a girl. But now I changed for two. I vowed I would be a better father. The best father. These two, they were my whole world now and nothing was going to change that.

*********************************************

"Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum." I shouted while stomping through the small house. "Whoever stole daddy's ball is dumb."

I heard giggles come from the girls room. Sammy--our little mutt puppy that I rescued for the girl's--was yipping at my feet as I stomped. "Stop it Sammy," I said whispering to him quietly. "You're messing up my threatening vibes."

The girls giggled more and I tiptoed to their door. I slowly reached for the handle and opened the door quickly. "Rawr!" I growled as I stepped in. The girls ambushed me. They had joined forces and were at the top of their bunk bed suddenly pelting me with all sorts of plush animals and pillows.

"Get him!"

"Get the giant!"

Sammy started barking along with the girls yelling. The girls were screaming together and finally they ran out of things to throw. One of them took the steps down the bed while the other took the slide. They tried running away from me but I caught one of them and swung them up in my arms making them fly. She screamed and looked at her sister, "Run Mal!"

Mallory ran away in laughter while Sammy followed her. I glanced at my little girl, "And what do you think you're doing Velvet?"

"Let me go!" She screamed and giggled trying to get out of my arms. I placed her back on the top bunk but kept my grip on her. I started tickling her causing a high shriek to ring out through the house. Eventually, Velvet managed to escape by going down the slide. She ran away to join her sister.

They were probably going to hide behind the fruit and food boxes in the pantry. They think it's super top secret, but I know all their hiding spots. It makes for a fun game of hide-and-seek too. When I walked into the kitchen they were standing in front of the fridge with cans of silly string they had gotten from their Uncle Shawn. Between them was my favorite soccer ball.

"Don't make us use this Daddy," Mallory said. For a child, she looked quite threatening.

"Yeah Dad," Velvet added. She was trying not to smile but whenever she did the strawberry shaped birthmark on her chin would move with her smile. "We love you, but don't move."

I rose my hands up in defeat, "You win girls. You win. I won't tickle you anymore if you give me my ball back."

Velvet grabbed the ball looking at her sister. Between them they had a small telepathic conversation before nodding. Mallory but the silly string on the counter, having to stand on her tiptoes to reach. Velvet put the ball on the floor and kicked it in my direction. I tapped the ball once it reached my foot and started juggling it. The girls started giggling again. They loved watching me play soccer. The only times they were ever allowed to stay awake late was when I was playing soccer somewhere with a different time zone.

"Dios mio," Maria said. She walked into the kitchen from the garage holding some groceries. "What happened here?"

I hired Maria about a year ago. When it was my turn having custody of the girls sometimes I would have soccer tournaments. I would bring them along with me to the competition or game if it was in the nation. In those cases, Maria would come along and take care of them. Everyone on the team absolutely adores the girls. They love having them around. But sometimes it was best for them to stay with their nanny. Especially on nights my teammates and I would go out and celebrate.

I talked to the girls about it. Asking if they would rather stay with their mother, but they refused. Instead, we travel the country together. Maria joining us. They love Maria as their nanny. Slowly, they're learning Spanish terms from her and I couldn't be happier. Maria is an older woman. She looks like someone that has young grandchildren which is why I was happy with the way she treated my girls.

When I asked Maria how she could travel so often she said, "Senior Parris, I have always wanted to travel the world. My husband does not mind, he loves these little girls as much as I do. Son bellas."

She wasn't just their nanny, she was also my house keeper. But slowly she became part of our family. After my first year of college, I quickly moved out and into a suburban home. It was located in one of the safest neighborhoods in the city which made me feel a lot better for my girls. It was a couple months into college that the national team started asking about me. I was signed on quick. Soccer isn't like football where you go national after college. In soccer, you start young. Which is why my case seemed to be somewhat of a miracle.

I wasn't in the system until now. After a few months of college, the scouts finally saw me play. I was given interviews and asked what made me so special. So I told them. I told them about Mallory and Velvet and my profound love for them. A week later, I received a letter that came along with my own US League T-shirt with my name sprawled across the back over the number one.

"We stole Daddy's ball," Velvet said running up to Maria.

"So he chased us like the giant from the story last night!" Mallory added.

I couldn't help but smile. Maria looked down at the girls with admiration. She gave them each a lollipop she had gotten from the store before saying, "Your mother is outside waiting for you two."

The girls screamed gleefully before running out the door. Maria gave me a sad smile, "She brought Tommy, Señor."

I shook my head walking past Maria as she started making our lunch, "It's fine." I said smiling softly.

By the time I got to the drive-thru, Cali was already giving the girls a hug. She was on her knees holding both of them close to her. We had tried to work as a couple. But it was hard. We were at separate colleges meeting separate people. I was suddenly heavily involved in soccer and she was studying. I was dedicated to my girls and my sport, she was dedicated to the girls and her social life. So, we split.

The actual reason we split was because Cali met Tommy. Thomas, her boyfriend throughout college, is a very nice and educated man. I was never jealous when Cali told me about Tommy. Actually, I was relieved. I didn't think I could ever marry Cali. As hard as I tried to love her, I wanted her to find someone she could love too. Whenever she looked at me there wasn't a glow like the one I see in Tori, Em, or Jodee when they look at their boyfriends. Instead, it looked like disappointment and regret. So when Tommy came into the picture, I was sincerely happy for her. What I absolutely hate about the man, is when he tries treating my girls the way I treat them.

Sure, I'm glad Tommy treats them like family. It's when he tries getting them to play soccer with him. When he tries to make Shawn's Famous Waffles with them. When he tries to be too much like me that I get upset. I think it's fantastic that Cali met someone new that cares about the girls. But I swear to God, they're mine. And I only hope they remember that I'm their father.

In the back of my head I'm always afraid I'm going to get a letter that tells me Cali and Tommy are going to fight me for custody. They aren't engaged yet, but Tommy had recently asked me if he had my permission to marry Cali. So I knew the question was going to be popped soon.

"You're going to have a lot of fun aren't you?" Cali asked the girls.

"I can't wait to see Aunt Tobi," Velvet said enthusiastically.

"And Uncle Cole," Mallory pitched in.

"Uncle Shawn!" They both yelled loudly.

Cali chuckled. She told the girls to give Tommy a hug. While they walked towards their future step-dad I walked up to Cali. She stood up giving me a small smile. Ever since she and Tommy got together, whenever Cali would look at me it was filled with pity and hurt. "Tell Tori I say hi, ok?" She said.

I nodded returning the smile. I didn't want her to pity me. I didn't care she and Tommy were serious. I was happy for her. Even happy for me. "Will do Cali."

We stood staring at each other for a few seconds. And it was in those awkward seconds that I was reminded why we failed as a couple. We were never in love. We never had anything to say to each other. We tried, for a long time we tried. It just didn't play out for us. Which is why when Tommy came along, I couldn't take Cali away from her chance of being happy with someone. Someone who could truly love her.

"Don't worry Blake," Cali said when she caught me staring at Tommy. The girls were giving him awkward half hugs. "They love you more than they love him."

"I'm glad you're happy Cali," I said genuinely smiling.

Her eyebrows furrowed like she was trying to figure out if it was a lie or not. Finally, she took a few steps forward and gave me a hug. "You'll find love someday," Cali said softly.

"I already have," I replied in a whisper as well. When we pulled away Cali looked even more torn until I broke into a malicious grin. "They're names are Mallory and Velvet."

Cali shook her head as she laughed. When she looked up at me there was no more pity. Only a grin of happiness, "Blake Parris. The boy to never love a girl."

"I guess I was meant to love two instead." I said with a small shrug. "Go big or go home."

"Cali," Tommy called from his car. "We better be going if you want to make it to dinner."

The girls ran back to me. Their pink tutu's slightly dirty from running around in the grass. Velvet had her hair in pig tails, while Mallory's shoes were untied. Cali gave them one more hug before they came to each of my sides. I waved at Tommy who waved back politely. We stayed on the lawn watching the car drive off before heading back into the house.

I picked each girl up in my arms and carried them inside, "So how about some ice cream?"

That night we made sure to pack everything for the flight in the morning. The girls finally settled in their castle of a room. Everywhere in the house is white marble or tile. Their room however, is pink. A very light pink that looks red at night when only the light of the closet seems to shine. When I had first bought the place, I honestly thought the girls would want separate rooms. Instead, they put up a big fight that they wanted to share a room and have a bunk bed.

Hence, the castle bed was formed. They took turns sleeping top bunk. The slide curls around the side of the bed leaving the girl a few feet from the door. Whereas the bottom bunk was a bed that extended the out like a T. In the space left over was a small hammock where Sammy would sometimes sleep. Everything else in the room was covered in a pink haze. Between the curtains, the walls, even all the decorations. Everything is pink.

The rest of the house is a clean white. Something simple and modern. Sure, it gets dirty every so often, but when it's nicely clean the way Maria leaves it, it looks amazing. The pictures in the girls room was that of their birthdays. Cali and I join together for their birthdays. Every other holiday we take turns. This year it was my turn to have them for Christmas. I was very excited.

Around the house are pictures in frames of our adventures throughout the US. The girls and I standing in front of Mount Rushmore. Shawn and I each holding one on our shoulders in front of the statue of liberty. Us at the beach, Hollywood, Seattle, and even one picture of us in Canada. A few of the pictures even include Maria because she is basically part of our small and weird family.

Once the girls got older, I assumed they would want to sleep in different bedrooms which is why I bought a house big enough that would suit us all. It's a two story house with a very nice lawn and backyard but nothing else. Whenever Shawn would come and visit, he would help the girls with their project of creating a tree house in the back. According to Shawn, that was to be finished this year.

"Daddy," Velvet croaked from the top of the bunk. She and Mallory were already drifting into sleep.

"Yes baby girl?" I asked walking up to her. The bunk bed wasn't high enough for me not to see over. I placed my hand on her face running my finger across the strawberry shaped mole on her chin.

Mallory stood up in bed and I picked her up placing her by her sister. "There's this mean boy at school," Velvet said.

"He's really mean Daddy," Mallory added.

"He said my name is ugly." Velvet sniffled and looked at the verge of tears. Mallory wrapped her arms around her sister.

Seeing my little girl upset made my heart pull. I smiled softly, "He probably likes you Vel."

"No!" Velvet said crossing her arms. "Boys are gross and he's just mean. Right Mal?"

Mallory nodded. Her face looked so convince I almost laughed. "Well do you girls want to hear how you got your names?"

They both looked at me with gleaming eyes. It felt like I had just asked if they wanted the secret of the universe. "Is it like story time?" Mal asked.

I nodded settling my chin on the top of the bed to tell them the story. "Mallory," I said getting her attention. "Your name is special because Mommy chose it. When you girls were born we decided that each of us gets to name one of you. And Mommy really likes the name Mallory. Do you like it Mal?"

Mal was grinning. She looked so content and happy I thought my heart was going to explode. "Yes Daddy. I like my name."

Velvet turned around in her bed. Her back was facing me and she started to cry. "Why are you crying baby girl?" Seeing my little girls cry, even for possibly the stupidest reasons, always tore my heart in two.

"Mallory has a pretty name but mine is ugly." She cried into her pillow and I glanced at Mal who looked sad at seeing Vel cry.

"Baby girl," I pulled myself higher to turn her to face me. "Your story is just as special."

She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. She started to sniffled and I grabbed the edge of my shirt to wipe the snot away. "Really?"

I smiled at her, "Yes really. Daddy picked out your name."

"But it's so ugly," Velvet's bottom lip started to quiver. "Why'd you pick a ugly name Daddy?"

"It's not an ugly name," I said putting my hand to my heart. "This boy that says it's an ugly name! Well...I bet I could beat him in soccer."

The girls giggled. Just the sound of their laughs makes my heart rise. "You can Daddy," Mal said. "You would score a bazillion goals."

I smiled before continuing the story. "Velvet," I said looking her in the eyes. The beautiful thing about my girls is that not only do I love them, but they look just like me. Their eyes are the same color as mine. And their hair is blonde like a mix between Cali and I. But their faces? Their faces were molded like mine. "I named you Velvet because that's my favorite kind of cake."

Velvet pushed a small smile, "Really?"

"Of course! Do you know how awesome velvet cake is?" The girls laughed causing me to grin. "One bite of velvet cake is like making a thousand goals."

"If it's your favorite," Velvet put her arms around my neck giving me a hug. "Then it's my favorite too Daddy."

Mallory wrapped her arms around me too and I hugged them back. They would never understand how much I love them. I know now they're little innocent children that crave the affection of their parents. I just hope that our bond will never be broken. I hope that even as teenagers and young adults, they'll be able to tell me how they're feeling.

"Can we sleep with you tonight Daddy?" Mal asked.

I couldn't say no to them. That's my weakness. I nodded before grabbing either one and carrying them on my sides. Vel ran over to Sammy and picked up the sleeping puppy, before running back into my arms. My bed is a king which left plenty of room for all of us. I placed the girls on the edges of the bed, they were already half asleep. Sammy yawned and curled up at the end of the bed.

I was sleeping between the girls, both of them curled into my side. They were breathing softly into my chest. Usually they were scared of the dark and I tell them stories to help them fall asleep. Tonight, with me by their sides they didn't ask to turn on a night light. For the first couple of minutes I couldn't fall asleep. All I could do was admire my daughters.

Eventually, I joined their slumber. And all of our breathing synced perfectly. Mallory and Velvet Parris, the love's of my life.

**************************************************

Tori's POV

It was a beautiful day on campus. The birds were chirping, squirrels running away from students, and the wind was rustling through the trees. I was sitting underneath my favorite spot--the big oak tree. Occasionally, an acorn would fall next to me or on my head because of the squirrels running through the branches.

I was sitting with my notebook, writing uncontrollably. Lyrics and beats started to cloud my mind. Next to me I had sheet music but right now I was simply getting my thoughts down. Although I wasn't majoring in music, it was my minor and my professor loved assigning us with creative homework. When I first joined the class I realized I was slightly behind everyone else. They had already had experience with music--whether being with instruments, singing, or even dancing. It didn't take long for me to catch up though.

After learning how to read and write music, I branched away and started making my own songs. Sometimes they were about how family is the closest thing to home. Most of the time it was about Mark. Writing about a far-away love seemed to be my specialty but then again, a lot of artists write about love.

Hayden discovered my sheets of music and pulled some strings managing to get me into the college studio. He wants to be a producer and his big dream was to go to Los Angeles one day. For some reason he was very interested in the show business. But once he meant Rose he told me that LA wasn't the big picture anymore. He realized how much he loves the east coast too. And after hearing all the good things Shawn said about New York, Hayden's new plan was to go there.

My first day in the studio was amazing. It was almost as good as the day I moved in. I grabbed Cori--my guitar--and sang my heart out. That same day I was given my first CD with copies of all my songs. Before anyone else could see it, I transferred the information to a flash drive and sent it to Mark.

I had kept my promise, writing him letters every week. He would write back of course. But every chance he would get we would video call or talk over the phone. After his training he came and visited me for a few months. He stayed on campus with me before being deployed.

Some days I would miss him like a flower misses the sun in winter.

And then other days he simply lingered in the back of my mind. It's not to say I didn't think about him. I think about him all the time. But there were days when I was truly enjoying my life here on campus.

There were times when someone would ask me on a date. It wasn't uncommon the first couple months on campus. After a while people tended to leave me alone when they realized I would never leave Mark. I would quickly explain my situation and if they continued to persuade me, sometimes Hayden, Sunshine, or even Trent, would step in like brothers. Mark didn't know how much Team Mark the three are, but if he did he would probably appreciate it as much as I do.

Before we all graduated high school, Sunshine and Hayden had confirmed they were staying in-state like me. Although we all wanted to venture out, it helped our families economically and prevented us from drowning in student debt. What came to a surprise was Trent. He had ended up joining us on campus even though he had received scholarships from out-of-state colleges.

We all stayed together on campus. Sure, we all had different friend groups, but we would still get together every so often to play soccer and hang out. There was monthly taco night and the occasional party we would all go to. Instead of just being acquaintances or friends from high school, we became best friends. To the point where we told each other everything.

Trent ended up telling all of us about his life at home. I used to judge him harshly, it's not to say he had a good excuse, but I finally understood where he was coming from. His main reason for staying in-state was because his parents never paid attention to him and his little sister. If his parents decided to take a vacation--they apparently did that often--he didn't want his little sister to be alone. Before college, Trent was there with her. But now that he's gone, he doesn't want her home alone when their parents genuinely don't care about them.

Whenever his parents would leave, Trent would drive down to pick up his little sister and bring her to campus. The days Trent was partying with his fraternity, he would leave his sister with my roommate and I. It wasn't so bad. Especially, because it was typically over the weekend so I would invite Suzie too. And it didn't happen often so when we were given the role as babysitter, we didn't mind.

I looked up at the oak tree. Sitting under it and seeing the leaves slowly fall down. I had stopped writing my music for a moment when I was suddenly joined by my friends. Hayden sat across from me with my roommate Rose. After I had introduced the two, Hayden and Rose seemed to hit it off quick. A month later they were dating.

Rose is majoring in political studies and since day one we got along. After the awkward 'moving in with my roommate' phase, we quickly found out that we have a lot of common. She's more of a formal soft Southern Charm kind of girl, but she would still sit down with me and discuss our favorite scenes from horror movies.

At first, Hayden wanted to make sure I was ok with him dating my roommate. I was nothing but happy for him. Ever since he started dating Rose, he smiles and laughs more. I think we all thought I would be jealous seeing a guy that liked me like someone else, but in reality, I was the one that was secretly pushing the two together. I would invite them separately to the the movies only to ditch them and have them go on a date.

Sunshine joined us with Rue. I didn't think Sunshine and I would keep in touch after high school but we were both placed in the same calculus class. He came to this university to follow his girlfriend--Rue. When I first met Rue it was at Prom. At the time she was dressed up like the rest of us but in reality, Rue looks like a punk rocker. Always wearing black, chains, and dyeing her hair different colors frequently. Every month she would have a new color. Mainly, red because that's Sunshine's favorite color.

The thing about Rue is that at first sight she looks terrifying. But once we all started talking to her we all realized she's one the sweetest people to have ever been born. All she ever wants is to cuddle with Sunshine and take naps all day. She and Sunshine live off campus with four dogs that Rue saved from the pound when they were going to be euthanized. They're all old mutts that lay around and sleep on her all day. Occasionally, she brings her younger dog on campus for walks.

Finally, Trent sat down joining us. He had gotten a hair cut to match his frat brothers. Instead of having long hair he could flip it to a side, he got it cut in a sloppy manner. It looked good on him and his brothers but then again, they were all a specific type.

"How's it going nerds?" Trent asked grinning.

The best part about still being with this group is that we all belong to different groups. When I'm walking through campus I'll see Sunshine with Rue and their group of friends. When I see Hayden he's with his classmates. And Trent is always with his fraternity or with the soccer players. He might not be playing with a scholarship but he still played for the club team. Then there's me, I typically hang around the musical people with Rose. Or branch out with some of the soccer players. It doesn't matter that we're all in different social groups. We would always come together to enjoy each other's company.

"When you come to me in a few years and ask for a job I'm going to remember the countless times you've called me a nerd." Sunshine said throwing a handful of grass at Trent.

"If anyone is going to make it big we all know it would be Tori." Rue added. She smiled showing off the stud on her tongue.

I laughed, "That is doubtful."

"I don't think so," Hayden added. His fingers were intertwined with Rose's. Whenever I saw them together I would have to try hard not to smile. Mainly because Rose being my roommate means I know exactly how she feels about Hayden. Her past was filled with broken hearts so when she got close to Hayden I knew they would be a good couple. Not because Hayden has had many broken hearts but because I know he's a genuine guy that would know how treat Rose well.

The only downside to always seeing my friends with people they love, reminded me of Mark. I would wear his shirts all the time. It didn't stop the sadness and emptiness I felt in my heart whenever I saw my friends getting lovey-dovey with each other.

"Yeah Tori," Rose added. "All you do is play your guitar, write, and play it some more."

That was true. Some nights when I should be studying, I would stay up late playing Cori and writing lyrics for songs. Sometimes I would stay up late because Mark had planned to call so I would wait all night logged onto my laptop hoping he got access to the video camera.

If he couldn't access it I would simply lose track of time. What would end up happening is that early morning Rose would come back from Hayden's room and turn red. I would only laugh and then sing to her my new song while she went to sleep.

"You should sing at the school's talent show." Sunshine added.

I scoffed, "Uhm...no."

"Why not?" Rose asked. "That's a fantastic idea!"

"I hope you freeze if you do." Trent chuckled causing us to all clump grass in our hands and threw it at him.

"Do it Tori," Sunshine said. "We can even invite your brothers. Come on, I want a famous friend."

"Yes because I'm definitely going to become famous." I said sarcastically.

"If you do, I'll sponsor you." Trent added. "With the small amount of money I make."

"I'll give you my five dollars I'm supposed to use for lunch." Rue added pulling out a five dollar bill from her pocket. Coming from someone who is struggling as much as me--if not more--with college tuition, I was very touched.

I glanced at Hayden, "Will you be my agent if I'm ever famous?"

"Hell yeah," Hayden grinned giving me a fist bump. "You can be my first client."

Hayden was working hard for his business and management major. The plan of moving to New York was followed with opening an office.

I laughed and we all agreed that I would join the talent show. We were all kidding about me being famous. We talked about what celebrities I would meet and how cool it would be to walk the red carpet. So naturally, us college students decided to make a plan. It was more of a vow. We all vowed that when we all branch out with our lives we would still get together. Our yearly tradition of meeting for a barbecue and catching up with each others lives.

When we were done making ridiculous vows, I pulled Cori close to me and started playing. I leaned against my oak tree, playing softly. Trent laid back on the grass enjoying the sun. Rue and Sunshine leaned against each other slowly swaying. Rose joined Hayden who was lying on the grass as well. He had his arm around her and they closed their eyes like they were listening to my lyrics.

I missed my family and old friends. I did get homesick every so often. So did Hayden and Sunshine. But for me, it mainly involved my brothers. I was still close to Blake, Cole, and Shawn. Closer than I thought we would be. We all text throughout the day. We call each other and talk through what's happening. That's the strong thing about friendships though. Whether you meet someone in high school, college, or even in your family--friendships never die.

*********************************************

The graduation ceremony was probably one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. It's not my number one because nothing will compare to when I sang in front of hundreds of people. But graduation was amazing. High school graduation was a ceremony for parents, undergrad graduation gave me excitement. I had fallen a semester behind which meant I graduated later than my brothers and some of my friends. Trent and I were graduating together. Sunshine, Hayden, and Rose had graduated on time. Rue graduated a year before. Trent had fallen back because he failed a few classes. Whereas I got too caught up with my singing career and with visiting Shawn.

Now, all my friends were here for me just like I had been there for them at their graduation. My parents had come, Dad and Lilly were in the stands joined by Suzie and Conlan. Conlan was starting his senior year after this summer and Sue was beginning high school. I still couldn't believe how much all had changed.

The night before my graduation I got a call from Mark. He was supposed to come back in a month. And after four years in the army, he was now thinking about coming back and focusing on his studies. I was lucky enough to see him a few months out of the year and whenever he came I could not be happier. Which is why on my graduation cap I designed two hearts, one made of camo that was linked together with music notes to the green heart that represented me. In bubbled letters I wrote, "He's there, I'm here."

When we video called, I showed him my cap. We stayed up as long as he was allowed to. But we both tend to stay online longer than we mean to. In the morning when we're exhausted, we don't regret it. Whenever we talk we always go through the certain phases:

Phase One--The laughing phase. It's when we tell each other what we're missing out. I tell Mark about my stories here. About kids bathing in the fountains, pranking each other, or playing laser tag on the campus grounds. Mark tells me about his brothers--that's what he calls his teammates--his brothers. He tells me about how they act and what they're like. Occasionally, I get to say hi to all of them through the video camera. We never talk about Mark's missions. Or about what he does. A long time ago I asked if he wanted to talk about it and he said that the moment he gets to his bedroom door, he drops all thoughts about war at the mat.

Phase Two--It comes after the laughing. It's the promises we hope to keep with each other. I promised to show him my favorite cookie shop here on campus. I promised to introduce him to my new friends. And Mark promises to come home. That's the only promise I care about. And when he does come home, it's the best feeling in the world. I have introduced him to my friends, they all already know basically everything about him. I've taken him to my favorite cookie place. I've played songs to him on the campus field while he napped in my lap. We play video games whenever we have the time. And the best part is that even though we may get into arguments, we're in bliss because we're together.

Phase Three--The final stage is the sadness. When we video call and I start to get tired but refuse to sleep, that's the phase we always feel with a heavy heart.

"I really miss you." I would say.

Mark would lean towards the camera, clutching a pillow to his chest to support his head. "I'll be home before you know it," He'll say.

It's heard not to get emotional. Sure, I have fun when we talked and laughed. But there were days that were really difficult. Days where negativity and sadness was all that I could feel. "I just," I would hesitate. I may not know exactly what Mark goes through but sometimes he would have a busted lip. Other times he looked purely exhausted. When his brother died in combat he became distant for months. But he never faltered or became angered when I would say this, "I had a really tough day."

Whenever I would say that I always felt a pang of guilt. Mark however, would only smile. "Tell me about it." He would push. "What happened?"

I wasn't sure if he was never interested, but he always listened to what I was saying. It was as if he was memorizing every single word I was saying. The problem with having a tough day, it went two-ways. When Mark has a bad day I just want to jump through the camera and hug him. And when I'm at the verge of tears on the other end because I just want be held by him, I could see it physically hurts him.

Then there was the second phrase that killed both of us. It didn't matter who said it, it was a knife to our hearts. "I really wish you were here."

I always resulted in playing with the necklace he gave me. It meant the world to me and whenever I was missing Mark I would always touch it to remind me of him. I never took it off and people caught on. If I was ever missing Mark or I wanted something that reminded me of him, I would hold the necklace in my hand.

It didn't matter how long he was deployed. I still wrote him letters every week. Even though he didn't receive them for a while, he would read all of them and keep them. We video called and he wold show me he got them. He kept them all stored in a shoe box and when he would come home he would always give them to me for safe keeping. Then he would start again.

"I love you Tori." Mark says. I think the most common argument we have is when he says that I don't have to wait for him. It's the same fight and it never changes either of our opinions.

The day before graduation happened to fall on the weekend of my birthday. After my graduation, I had simply asked that my family would get together at our lake house for the weekend. Blake, Cole, and Shawn were already on their way. Dad and Lilly were going to head over tonight with me.

Last night Mark had called to wish me congratulations on graduation and a happy birthday.

"Happy birthday Tori!" His brothers and him yelled into the camera when I logged onto the video. I was touched and laughed along with their stupid jokes and remarks. Once they were done Mark and I talked for another couple hours.

"When do you think you'll be home?" I asked after a while.

"Hopefully soon." He answered, "Maybe a month or two. But not long."

I smiled, "As long as I get a birthday present from my teddy bear."

He grinned, "Of course of course. How about a shirt that says, 'My man is an Army man,' then have an arm flexing."

I couldn't help but laugh. I already owned a lot of army shirts. But what I loved most was that Mark gave me all his punny shirts. Some of them still smell like him so whenever I got sad I would sleep with the shirt.

"Don't worry," Mark gave me his award winning smile. "You'll see me before you know it."

He logged off by kissing the camera lens. I couldn't help but smile sadly. He's missed a lot of holidays but sometimes he's lucky and gets to come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

The first thing that came to my attention when I arrived to the lake house was the twins playing outside with Sarg. Sarg had grown into a beautiful German Shepherd who has kept me company whenever I was feeling low. The girls were chasing each other as Sarg acted like a herding dog and tried keeping them away from the lake.

When I saw the driveway I saw Blake's minivan, Cole's red convertible, and Shawn's eco-friendly Mini Cooper. I couldn't help but smile. Knowing the boys were already here made me happier than I thought.

I could have gone out with my friends for my birthday, they had even asked me what I wanted to do. But considering my new album was going to be featured in Shawn's new movie, I knew my schedule was going to become really busy. All I wanted was to spend time with my brother's because the majority of the time we only have the ability to get together for holidays.

"Hey girls," I said when I got out of my car.

"Aunt Tobi!" They both yelled together as they ran towards me. They slammed into me, each claiming one of my legs.

Sarg ran up to me with them. He started whining when he realized he wasn't receiving as much as much attention as the girls. The door of the lake house opened revealing Blake. He was grinning before saying, "Alright girls. Come inside. Dinner is going to be really soon."

They ran up and into the house as Sarg stayed by my side. I grabbed my bag and a few groceries from the trunk of my car before joining Blake at the top of the steps. "You," I said to Blake, "Own a mini-van?"

Blake shrugged, "It's a rental."

I smiled giving him a hug. Blake pulled me close kissing the top of my head, "I missed you sis."

"I missed you too Cake." I muttered in his shoulder. "It's great seeing you."

Blake had changed a lot. He was starting to grow out a beard and he was even more bulky than when we were in high school. "Mallory and Velvet have been hoping you can come visit sometime," Blake said as we walked into the house.

"I would love that!" I exclaimed. Even though we remain strongly in touch I didn't have many opportunities to go visit the girls and their home. "Just give me the custody schedule and I'll see if I can fly up for a week or two before touring." I answered.

Cali and I had branched away. She doesn't go to the same school as me and she followed Blake to where he lives. By getting into a local community college, she manages to live happily with Tommy now. And even though we see each other and occasionally text, there really isn't a friendship there anymore. I wish there was, but after her ordeal with Blake, I wasn't surprised she wasn't attached to coming and seeing my family.

As for the touring, after my album went public one of my songs reached the top ten over the radio. Suddenly, my album was being sold all around the nation. Part of it was mainly due to the fact that Shawn had featured the song on the trailer of his movie. The other part was because it went viral with a video that Mark's brothers posted of them all singing to. It was uploaded on YouTube and within days was known through the world.

Now Hayden--my manager--was telling me that I should go on tour and follow my singing career. I didn't want to, I was never a very spontaneous person, but then I called the boys. The three of them agreed I should. It would continue the tradition of being the "Famous Parris."

"Tori!" My family yelled when I stepped foot in the living room. "Happy birthday!"

Shawn added a clap with a dance and then dropped to his knees singing in a deep voice, "And many more!"

I laughed before going around and giving everyone a hug. I started with Suzie and Dad before moving towards Lilly, Cole, Jodee, Shawn, and Em. Conlan and his parents lingered in the back but I still made my way to hug the Bennett's. Mr. Bennett was finally walking with his new prosthetic's. A few years back he saved enough money to get prosthetic's and now he walks around like nothing had ever happened.

He still invites Suzie and I for camping trips. Especially when Mark is back in town. Whenever Mark comes back he makes sure to take the time to go camping with his family. And because Suzie and I are basically family, we always end up enjoying ourselves.

Cole and Shawn walked up to me again wanting another set of hugs.

"Our future Taylor Swift has entered the building." Cole grinned. "I guess that guitar came in handy, huh?"

I rolled my eyes and elbowed him lightly, "Says the most successful lawyer on the planet. You're like the most powerful person ever."

"Second most," Jodee cut in. "I obviously hold the true power."

We all laughed at Jodee's comment. Shawn came up to me. Ever since he became an author, he wears ridiculous spectacles like he's a French struggling artist. I don't think he wears them with Em but if he gained a couple thirty pounds, grew white hair, and a beard he would look like Santa.

"Gorilla!" Shawn yelled before crushing me in another hug. He squeezed me tightly and I tried squeezing him back just as tightly. It was like a competition of who could squeeze the other the tightest.

"Shawn-ator!" I yelled back when we broke our hug. Seeing Shawn look healthier and have a full set of hair was relieving. After seeing his condition a few years ago, none of us thought he would come back from it. But if someone was going to defeat death, it was going to be Shawn.

"I got you a really cool birthday present." He grinned evilly and for a moment I was afraid.

"Did you put fireworks in your book like last year?" I asked.

He shook his head, "Nope."

"I promise it's more controlled." Em grinned, "I helped pick it out."

"I trust Em," I stated walking over and hugging her as well. "How's my youngest older brother treating you?"

"Waking me up with silly string, accidentally burning waffles, he's still eating way too much junk food. The usual." Em couldn't stop smiling but before I could ask the twins jumped at us.

"Don't forget the readers," Shawn said.

"The readers?" I asked Em.

Em rolled her eyes, "Shawn as this crazy idea that there are 'readers.'"

"There are readers!" Shawn argued. He pointed up at the sky before whispering to me like he was revealing a big secret, "There are readers and they love us."

Before I could think about what he was saying or ask what he meant, Mallory walked up to me. She gave me a breathtaking smile like she was trying to show all her teeth,"We got you a present too Aunt Tobi."

"Aunt Suzie helped us pick it out," Velvet gave me a smile just like her sisters.

I looked up at my sister who had been conversing softly with Conlan. Over the last years Suzie grew an unbelievable height. She was still growing seeing as she was about to turn fifteen and start freshman year. Conlan also grew, he wasn't a middle-schooler anymore just like Sue wasn't in elementary school.

Conlan is about to start his senior year. Through hockey, he grew to be quite a young man. As far as I knew, he hadn't taken up any girlfriends in high school. Maybe a few flings but never so serious that I have met her. On long weekends I would either go home to spend time with Suzie and Conlan or if I'm lucky--visit one of my brothers. Which meant we all stayed in touch fairly well.

"So now I exist?" Suzie said smiling when I gave her a hug. She was almost at my height. Wearing a floral dress. Her hair had grown out over the years, cascading down her back in the natural black curls.

"Hey Tori," Conlan smiled giving me a short hug. He was already taller than me. Mark was upset because Conlan even managed to grow one inch taller than him. I remember when Mark came back last year and realized his little brother had inherited the height genes. Even though it was only an inch, Mark was not at all pleased. He and Conlan had a wrestling match to prove who was better. To this day, none of us know who won.

"You're going to look after Sue in high school, right?" I asked.

Conlan turned a light shade of pink, "You better believe it."

Sue was holding Mallory and Velvet by her side whispering to them not to tell me what my present is because it's a secret. The girls giggled putting their fingers to their lips.

"Alright everyone," Lilly said with Mrs. Bennett at her side. "Who's hungry?"

Instead of setting a table, our moms got together to make one long buffet line filled with all our favorite foods. Dad and Mr. Bennett grilled streak and burger patties for Blake and his girls, Lilly made barbecue pulled pork for Cole, and Mrs. Bennett made the best waffles for Shawn. For me? My favorite side of mashed potatoes.

The picnic table was extended so all of us could fit outside. It was a beautiful summer day where all the birds were chirping and the bee's were buzzing. Sarg stayed by my side begging for food that I would sneak under the table for him. I sat near my siblings while the parents sat a little ways up. Conlan and Suzie were placed at the end to take care of Mal and Vel who were behaving like princesses while Suzie pretended to serve them food like a queen.

"Girls," Shawn said catching the attention of Mal and Vel. "Don't forget you must always thank the Kings of Candy-Mania for the blessing they gave us for these magical sweets."

The girls and Shawn each held up a piece of candy. "Yes Uncle Shawn," The girls said together.

"Now repeat after me," Shawn said. "We thank the King of Candy-Mania for this blessing...For without him if he had not sacrificed...His royal candy staff...to the pits of Unicorn island...Then we pesky humans would...Never had the ability to eat this divine and magnificent candy."

"...This diva and majifihent candy." Mallory said.

"...This dev-ificent and mag-ine candy." Velvet butchered.

"Close enough!" Shawn said giving them a high five. He came back to our end of the table sitting besides Em.

I was given the head of the table which for some stupid reason made me feel very special. Probably because I could see everyone from where I was sitting but also because I could see all the conversations that were going around.

Shawn passed Blake, Jodee, and I a few beers. Shawn and Em don't drink because they went on a 'health strike' after Shawn's diagnosis. And Cole vowed to never drink again a long time ago. Which left the rest of us to share the case of beers with our parents.

"So," Lilly said getting everyone's attention. "Have you all seen the cover of this months Time Magazine?"

The boys all sighed as Lilly took it out of her purse. We were all shocked to see it. The cover title was, 'The Three Parris Triplets.' And the picture was of Blake in his USA soccer jersey holding a soccer ball extended in front of him, while Shawn was this right holding his book, and Cole to the left giving a breathtaking smile while wearing a fancy suit.

"You guys?" I shrieked as Lilly passed the magazine to us. All the girls came together as we flipped to their page. "Why didn't you tell me this was happening?"

"We didn't want to make a big deal about it." Cole said.

"Yeah," Shawn added. "The CEO of Time magazine found out what cafe I'm always at and approached me about having Blake, Cole, and I on the monthly cover."

"When did you go to New York for a photo shoot?" Jodee asked Cole.

"Remember how I was gone for a weekend because I had to go to New York, Miami, and Atlanta to meet up with contractors for those knew buildings?" Jodee didn't reply to Cole's answer because it seemed to click in that moment.

"Daddy," Velvet said standing on her chair. "You're on a book!"

Blake laughed taking the magazine from us and reading from the page. "Says here how I'm famous from soccer. Cole found riches and glory at Harvard. And how Shawn is an underdog to wonderdog story seeing as he hasn't even gone to college yet has reached one of the best selling books in the world."

Shawn looked over Blake's shoulder reading the page as well, "Tori you're in here too."

I snatched the magazine away and Dad asked me to read where I was mentioned. "It says here, 'Tori Linean, the triplets step-sister has also been touched by the boys golden finger by also finding a place in fame through her singing. She will be touring soon after the release of Shawn Parris' movie later in the fall where she will also be attending the red carpet.'"

"I'm not attending the red carpet." I said looking up at Shawn. He only gave me a devilish grin, "I'm not attending the red carpet...right?"

"I forgot to tell you," He laughed. "You're going to my Hollywood premiere."

My mouth dropped, "Are you serious?"

"As serious as a penguin munching on Gooble-berry fish."

I couldn't help it. I threw a waffle at him, "How dare you not let me know earlier!"

We bickered for a few seconds before agreeing that we would fight this out with swords later. I kept looking through the article with the other girls. It went into detail about the lives of the boys. How Blake is a father to two girls. How Cole graduated from Harvard at the top of his class. And how Shawn struggled with cancer. Jodee screamed when she saw her name mentioned with Cole. Em smiled seeing her name besides Shawn's.

"Are we going to the premiere too?" Cole asked.

"Yeah I think the girls would love to go back to Hollywood." Blake turned his attention to his daughters. "Do you girls want to go back to Hollywood?"

"Yes!" They both shouted in agreement.

"Well actually," Shawn said. "My agent said I can't invite a lot of people. But then I told him that if he couldn't get all of you to come, then I wouldn't be going either. I have better things to do...like getting Foo-Foo ready."

"Ready?" I asked.

Shawn smiled. It was a devious smile that was typically followed by something odd. "The wedding," He said casually.

"Foo-Foo is getting married?" Blake asked.

"To Fee-Fee?" Cole added.

"No!" Shawn stood up pulling Em to his side. Everyone at the table was suddenly looking at them. Our parents had all been conversing before but now everything went quiet because all eyes suddenly turned towards Emily's hand.

"I'm engaged," Em said just as we all realized she was wearing a beautiful diamond ring on her finger.

In that moment, everyone stood up and screamed. Jodee and I rushed to Em and started hugging her and congratulating her. Lilly and Mrs. Bennett joined in. While all the guys surrounded Shawn, who was beaming like a complete and utter idiot. Em was wiping a tear away from her cheek as she laughed and told us her aunt had already agreed to walk her down the aisle.

Shawn looked between his brothers who were both slapping his back and giving him hugs. "So I'm the best man right?" Cole asked.

"No I am," Blake argued.

"No," Cole frowned at Blake. "I'm nicer than you."

"I'm older."

"I went to Harvard."

"I can beat your--" Blake stopped himself when he realized his daughters were right next to him, "Butt."

Mallory and Velvet giggled, "Daddy said butt."

Lilly was crying tears of joy as she hugged Shawn and Em. She was fanning her face with her hands trying to calm herself but was failing miserably. I think we were all thinking the same thing: Honestly, none of us expected Shawn to get married. Not because he and Emily weren't strong, but because we all thought he was going to die. Shawn even admitted it to my brothers and I one night over the phone. He had just come back from chemo and was in a depressed mood. He told us he was never going to marry Em. And as much as we all hoped it wasn't true, we all thought it would be.

Ever since he 'came back from the dead' we were all waiting for him to pop the question. None of us were surprised, just overjoyed. Blake placed a bet he would have asked the question at the premiere. Cole bet it would have been in Central Park. And me? Well Shawn called me about a week ago to ask for my advice as to where I think he should ask. I told him somewhere special that means a lot for the two. I assumed that's what he did. And I was so happy to see it turned out good.

"So Tori and Jodee," Em asked smiling widely. "I was hoping you two would be my bridesmaid's?"

Jodee squealed again. She was never a very romance-y person but whenever it came to weddings, she was all over them. If there's one thing I learned about Jodee over the years she's been back with Cole, it's that, she really wants a family one day. The way she interacts with little kids--including the twins--just makes everyone's hearts melt. "Oh my god yes!" Jodee hugged Em.

Em laughed giving me a hug as well after I agreed. She explained that she didn't want to chose between Jodee and I to be her maid of honor and that as much as she loves us, she has to assign that role to her best friend in New York. We completely understood and honestly didn't care because we were still part of the wedding. It also would have been difficult to formulate a wedding when both Jodee and I live somewhat far away from Em.

"I promised Foo-Foo he would be the best man," Shawn pouted as Blake and Cole continued to argue.

"Shawn," Cole said putting his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Foo-Foo is very special. But he's not a man. So how can he be your best man when he's a unicorn."

"Yeah Shawn," Blake added. "Foo-Foo can be your best...unicorn."

"But not best man."

Shawn thought about it for a second. It looked like he was having a conversation in his head. He finally nodded, "Alright. But can you both be my best man? My best men? I can't choose you're both my brothers and best friends. It'll be like Two and Half Men, you two and Foo-Foo."

The boys chuckled and nodded. "Fine," Blake said. "But Mal and Vel have to be the flower girls."

"We already decided on that." Em answered for Blake.

We all sat back down. Talking about the wedding to come and all the preparations Em would have to go through. She invited Jodee and I to go dress shopping with her in New York. It would also all give us a chance to find elegant dresses for the red carpet. Suzie was also invited to the red carpet which meant she would be going with us to New York to visit Shawn and Em.

There was a constant buzz at our table now that we were all talking about the success of the boys and I. Along with the wedding we all so desperately need. It also brought on questions from Dad and Lilly about when I was going to get married. I only laughed which caused Mr. Bennett to laugh as well.

"What's so funny?" Mr. Bennett asked. "Mary married me before I was even deployed."

Mrs. Bennett hit her husband on the shoulder, "Leave the poor girl alone. That was at the time of perms and rat tails and dresses that were horrendous."

Mr. Bennett thought about it for a second before taking a swing of his beer, "She's not wrong."

"Besides," Dad said. "My Tori is too young to be getting married right now."

My brothers all gave a grunt of agreement. It's not like Mark and I haven't spoken about getting married. We just both agreed we would rather get married once he comes back and we settle into a home. I think we both knew we weren't going anywhere which is why we didn't talk about it often.

Before college sitting at a dinner table typically meant talking about school and where I wanted to attend for undergrad. When I was in college, conversation shifted to how I was doing. And with other people it meant who they were seeing. But now that I've graduated, and seeing my other brothers as well, conversations at dinner were now about marriage and how to settle down. It's a very precarious cycle.

"What about you, Cole?" Lilly asked eyeing her son and Jodee.

Jodee and Cole gave each other odd looks. They were stuttering trying to formulate words until Jodee said, "As much as I love your son's elbow, we both agreed we're not ready for marriage yet."

Lilly nodded in understanding. When we all found out that Jodee and Cole were back together, we were happy. Especially for Cole. He had been digging himself very deep in his work and Lilly wanted Cole to be truly happy. She didn't want him to ignore life around him. And Jodee seemed to be the aspect that always shed light around the world.

"Grandma," Velvet said coming up to Lilly.

Lilly picked her up and set her on her lap. "Yes my darling?"

"Do you think Daddy will get married?" Velvet asked.

Blake looked up at his mom and gave her pleading eyes. These little girls were very enthusiastic about their dad finding true love. After watching countless Disney Princess movies, they really wanted to believe their father is a prince. Yet they have no idea what kind of king he truly is.

Although we all were hoping for Blake to find a nice girl and settle down, it didn't look like he was doing that anytime soon. "Um," Lilly mumbled. "I don't know Velvet. Love isn't something that you find, it's something that finds you."

"That was so wise," Shawn muttered pulling out a small notebook from his pocket. "I need to quote that for my next novel. I think the talking meerkat will say that."

The day rolled out. Eventually, we all decided to take a swim in the lake after eating. We were all waiting for my cake to arrive because apparently Lilly said that the caterer messed it up. Instead of putting Tori they put Tobi. That got a big laugh from Blake who was listening.

The little girls still didn't know how to fully swim, so Blake brought noddles and gave them floaties and they stayed near their dad. Shawn borrowed a pair of floaties and wrapped them around his arms. All the parents decided to stay in the lake house, setting up all the mattresses. Everyone else including Suzie and Conlan decided to join us. We all kept taking turns throwing the frisbee at Sarg who would chase it and jump into the water from the dock. For a while Suzie and Conlan were at the shore just sitting next to each other and watching the sun set.

"What will happen to those two if you and Mark get married?" Shawn asked me as he floated by.

I shrugged, "They'll be brother and sister-in-law but still from two completely separate families. It's not like they're blood-related."

"Neither are you and I," Cole said from behind me. He had Jodee on his shoulders trying to stay balanced.

"Cole," Jodee said hesitantly.

"But I was never interested in you," I said to Cole as I splashed him with water.

Cole laughed throwing Jodee off completely causing her to scream. When she resurfaced she joined me in trying to splash Cole with the most amount of water possible. Cole tried fighting against us, but it was no use. Eventually, his brothers had to come in and save him.

"Go Aunt Tobi!" Mallory yelled.

"Go Daddy!" Velvet shouted. They were both giggling on the dock.

We all headed back inside when the sun had set. Blake was afraid he wouldn't be able to see his girls in the water so he took them inside for a bath. Then we all took turns taking showers before getting into comfortable clothes and going back outside to see the campfire Dad had made for the s'mores and cake.

"Is the cake here?" I asked grabbing a stick from the table and a few marshmallows.

"No," Dad grumbled. "It's because Shawn called and altered the cake a bit. He asked them to add a rainbow consistency."

We all turned to look at Shawn who was munching happily on a burnt marshmallow. He put his hands up in surrender, "Rainbow cake is amazing and you know it."

The campfire was cozy. It reminded me of the first time Blake, Cole, Shawn, and I had first sat around this same campfire. Years ago this was the moment where we all bonded first. Where they pretended to be interested in my life because Lilly had forced them. I couldn't help but smile.

"The cake is here!" Lilly yelled to us from the house.

"Finally!" Blake said.

"Boys," Lilly said. "Could you go around and get the cake? We're still cleaning up in here."

"Come on," Cole said grabbing my hand. "You're going to want to see this."

Cole dragged me along side our brothers. Shawn only gave me a grin, "The cake is amazing."

I rolled my eyes, expecting a ginormous cake that was now assaulted by Shawn's imagination. I'm sure it was going to be surrounded by unicorns and faeries. Jodee and Em joined us, following behind our footsteps. And when we finally made it around the house to the front yard the cater's car was parked in the driveway.

That wasn't what caught my attention. It wasn't the fact that my cake was huge. I mean it was two stories tall and quite magnificent. It wasn't the fact that all the cars in the drive thru, including mine were aligned in a semi-circle with their headlights on. And it wasn't the fact that Dad, Lilly, the Benett's, and everyone else was watching my reaction.

What caught my attention was the fact right in the middle of all the headlights was Mark in uniform, standing with a big smile on his face and a bouquet of flowers.

Do you know that feeling when you've been away from home so long, that when you finally arrive, you just want to stay there forever? Or the feeling of not having something for such a long time, that when you finally see it, you didn't realize just how much you've missed it? That's what it felt like running towards Mark.

It was the last sprint of a marathon and when I finally jumped in his arms, everyone let out a shout of approval. I hooked myself onto him with no intentions of letting go. Tears were streaming down my face and I was very aware that everyone was watching. Very aware that this was being recorded and I was in one of Mark's t-shirts and my mutant ninja turtle pajama pants that Shawn had given me for my last birthday.

I didn't care, and neither did Mark.

"Mark," I muttered into his shoulder between sobs.

He was smiling and kissing the side of my head while he held me up. He had dropped the bouquet of flowers to hold me closer and being in his arms was that feeling of missing home. For him, coming home meant being in America. For me, it meant being back in his embrace.

"Hi baby," He said. "Did I surprise you?"

I nodded.

"Did you miss me?"

I nodded again.

He kissed my cheek, "You want me to put you down?"

I shook my head.

"Good."

Mark got down on his knees before sitting down and cocooning me in him. He placed his army hat on my head and when I looked up at him he was smiling like Christmas. I had tears streaming down my eyes from the amount of love and confusion I had flushing through me like a tidal wave. I had been so sure that Mark wouldn't have been able to make it today. And I had come to terms with it. But seeing him now, his brown buzz cut hair, sweet smile, and simple green eyes, I felt a tsunami of tears that I had pushed away when he was gone suddenly hit me.

I cupped his face and kissed him which caused another loud uproar from everyone. I didn't care. The moment I started kissing him all the noise around me seemed to die off. His hat was shielding the light from our eyes even if everyone could see. It didn't matter.

He kissed me like he always did when he got back: with want. That was the thing about being away for so long, you crave each other completely. But this was different. The feeling of kissing Mark is like the feeling of getting water after being lost in a desert. It's like the light breeze you've been waiting for all summer. The feeling of kissing Mark was seeing a ship after being stranded on an island for years. Or eating a slice of cake after a long diet. Kissing him? It's all of these combined and more.

When we broke apart I beamed him a smile which he returned. Neither of us moved because in full honesty we probably would have stayed here all night if we could.

"Your face," I said softly.

He raised an eyebrow, "What about it?"

"It's so white," I said suddenly blushing. "It--"

"Always looked a bit beige didn't it?" He finished for me while laughing. He kissed me again, this time in a playful loving manner.

Afterwards, we stood up and faced our families. Mark handed me my bouquet just as the Benett's came up to give him a huge. Conlan held onto his brother tightly like he was afraid to let go. Mark's mom was crying when she embraced her son. And Mr. Bennett beamed like a proud father.

"Happy birthday," Blake said his hands on my shoulders all of a sudden.

"We love you sis." Shawn said giving me a wink. "Now my only request is that you use the Shields of Tadpoles because those things will never let anything get through. But Mark is a grizzly, so be careful."

I hit his arm causing him to laugh but then he went over and jumped on Mark's back while Mark was talking to Suzie. Cole came up to me and grinned, "Just so you know...you were the only one here that didn't know he was coming."

I hit him as well and when Blake laughed and called me stupid, I hit him. I couldn't stop smiling. Even with all the torment all the boys were giving me. The smile never washed off my face and Mark would make sure that between hugging everyone, he would look at me and grin. My heart felt like it was melting.

"So Cake?" Blake said. He had put the girls to sleep. Even though they had been complaining that they wanted to stay up fro the s'mores and cake, they were already starting to fall asleep. Which meant they weren't going to see Uncle Mark till morning. Even though Mark and I are only dating, they always call him Uncle.

Mark came back to my side as Lilly led everyone back to the campfire where she was setting the cake at the picnic table. Mark put his arms around me and I hugged him back as we walked behind the group. "I love you so much," Mark muttered next to my ear.

I looked up at him giving him a quick peck on the lips. Words couldn't describe how happy I was feeling. I couldn't care what else happened today, because this already made it perfect. "I love you too," I smiled. "You're a jerk for lying to me and saying you wouldn't make it though."

Mark laughed and the sound of his laughter seemed to carry out over the lake. It was lively, full-hearted, and not over a phone or computer. It was the sound of pure joy, and I couldn't love it more.

Lilly placed sparklers in my cake and it made it look like mini fireworks. Mark kept his arm around my shoulders as I sat down at the picnic table with everyone surrounding me and singing happy birthday. After the sparklers gave out, they all told me to close my eyes and make a wish.

"Make a wish Tori!" Shawn said as the sparkles died leaving only the candles. "This is your chance to make a wish!"

I looked around the table at everyone that's with me. I didn't have anything else to wish for. Because this was it. This was all I ever needed. I looked up and Mark was beaming at me like I'm the only thing he see's right now in this world. I just knew that later tonight we would sneak off and walk around the whole lake. He was going to come live with me now that I've graduated. But most importantly, my best friend was back. And that's what matters the most.

I glanced at Blake who was urging me to blow the candles. His beautiful little girls sleeping soundlessly with Sarg. Blake who hated me the most but seemed to be the one that became closest to me. Blake, the absolute jerk that I hope finds love in someone just like he found love in soccer. The guy I always hated in high school and the guy who was my best friend before anyone else. Blake the Cake. The King.

Cole, the smartest man I know alive who's arm was wrapped around Jodee. Cole who I know is going to reach high and far in life and eventually settle down with Jodee to start a family. The triplet that was always the nicest, the smartest, and the most forgiving. One day Cole and I will sing together on stage with Cori in front of thousands of people because I promised him. And he promised me that one day we would go to Europe together and watch the World Cup in London.

Shawn, his chin resting on Em with a joyous face. The craziest guy I have ever met in my life but without him I would have never learned what life was: Precious. The triplet who's self-esteem feels low yet constantly makes everyone around him feel better because all he does is want to spread laughs and joy. The most important thing in the world to him is his love for Emily. Shawn, the man who's first book is dedicated to me. And who's wedding is going to be spectacular because all he wants in life is T-Rexes, waffles, and unicorns. And to Shawn, those are all real and tangible.

I turned to look at Suzie, who was standing besides Conlan. I had placed a similar bet like the one Mr. Bennett and Dad placed on Mark and I. Suzie had grown more than I could have ever seen, and never does she falter to look unhappy. The more she grew the more she ended up looking like our mother. My baby sister who I know will never change. And Conlan who is striving in high school and will become a great man just like his brother and father.

Dad and Lilly were smiling. Holding hands. Maybe they were both in pain before they met each other, but they found love again. And that's what mattered. There's love like Mike and Mary Bennett, who find each other and stay together from the beginning no matter what. And then there's love like Dad and Lilly. The kind of love that takes a few loses to fully realize.

But that's the thing about love, it's all the same. It just depends on who you share it with.

I looked back at the candles, squeezing Mark's hand.

I wish, I thought with my eye's closed. For the future to always be like this.

I blew the candles.

To no surprise, my wish came true.

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That's it...there's the end...Can you believe it??? I can't...and honestly you guys...I have no words.

I don't know what to say except...thank you. Thank you for being my fans. And for loving my story and for sticking with me even after I disappeared for a while. You're all amazing and I couldn't ask for anything better.

This chapter actually has a few Easter Eggs for my next story. If you can find them and DM what you think it is, I'll give you a little synopsis of what my next book is. Please stay in tune, I'm very excited for my next work and I hope you all enjoy it at much as 3 Stepbrothers.

Other than that...This is the ending of a story that I hope has captured your hearts as much as it has capture mine. Wow...I'm sad now...Don't worry, this won't be the last you hear from them. Just stayed tuned with my universe.

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