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"You know....I love painting" I didn't know what clicked in me buy it just felt right for him to know this thing.
Maybe because of the the care he gave me these past few weeks that I can't help but feel a certain trust and comfort in him.
He is here when no one will be willing to.
I'm not sharing it just for the sake of sharing but because I want him to know.
"I love it not because I want to take all my frustration and trauma out but because it helps me cope with it. I don't do it to forget everything bad that happens to me but to store it because after all it's also a memory even if it's painful"
"Pain is ugly but when in art nothings more beautiful."
"Painting helps me bring the joy out of me no matter if I feel depressed about the inspiration. The happiness I feel is something I can't describe in words"
"I paint all my feelings out love, joy, pain, anger, anxiety, betrayal, everything"
I didn't realize when I started blabbering this much abd forgot what I wad actually going to tell him.
"So what I meant to say is that the I'm a painter and that the paintings which you bought at the auction that day were mine"
I finally said and closed my eyes.
"Oh really?!! That's amazing, you should've told me before." He expressed.
I opened my eyes to see him smiling at me and seeing that made something in me twist.
"I- I was going to but..I thou-g..thought it was lame"
"Lame? Lame you say, have you seen how beautiful they are, they are anything but lame sweetheart"
My cheeks. Damn my cheeks. They're all red. I wonder how many shades are there displaying on my face right now.
But 'sweetheart', it's my first time actually hearing it as before I didn't think he called me any nickname. I thought it was all my hallucination.
Seems like a big no! Which means he has called me multiple times by multiple nicknames and I never noticed.
Wow just wow.
â.......~.......â
We kept talking till late night about our likes and dislikes and I got to know many things about him taht includes,
He loves bikes, spicy food, cooking and his computers.
He shared how difficult it was to Avyan bhai to not cook when they were in Italy together.
"He tried cutting a freaking tomato with scissor, I told him that's not how its note but he didn't seem fazed by it"
I couldn't do anything except enjoying his company.
I'm probably not a good person for not listening to his story but his face seems more interesting what can I do.
"Aapko pata hai aise kisi ko ghoorna jab koi baat kar raha ho, kafi mayusi ki baat hoti hai?" He said.
"Huh? Hum aapko ghoor nahi rehe the, hum Chand kk dekh rehe the..." i denied and actually looked at the moon now.
"kaafi khoobsurat hai na?" He asked.
I frowned, "kya?"
"Chaand." I nodded and looked at him only to see him already looking at me.
"Bouth khoobsurat hai."
"Par humare chaand se zayada nahi. Kabhi nahi" he expressed.
"Aapka?"
"Ji haan humara. Kabhi aap bhi aayega humare chaand ko dekhne, aapko bhi mohabbat ho jayegi"
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'Hume pura yakein hai, jis din aapne humara chaand dekha us din aap ye chaand toh bhul he jaoge' I thought.
She looked peaceful when she's relaxed. I just want to keep her in my pocket and keep on admiring her.
The way she looked at the sky is the same way I look at her, full of life, even in darkness she shines the brightest just like the starts.
My mind is now blank I can't think of anything. Let's not think just live in this beautiful moment.
I creased her hair as she loves me doing it and of course I'll anything she likes.
Soon I saw she fell asleep and I carried her to her room and was about to leave but then I remembered what happened this morning, she got a panic attack while in sleep.
I can't risk it happening again.
I sat on the bed next to her, maintaining distance.
Though after some time I did feel something creeping on my torso, knowing full well I didn't resist.