BY THE TIME nightfall rolled around I was exhausted. Spending the day with Helena and exploring James' childhood town sure did take the energy out of me. Helena told us Bobby would probably take the day to cool off so we'd be gone before he even came back which I was grateful for. After seeing his and James' interaction, I was silently praying we wouldn't have any more run-ins with him before we left. Overall I was really glad we came out, I knew James was having a great time catching up with Helena. The two of them were so deeply engrossed in catching up they didn't even notice me leave.
I was in the backyard all by myself, sitting on the old tire swing that hung from an oak tree. It felt nice being away from everyone and technology â though it wasn't by choice, I forgot to bring my phone charger. I was lucky I had enough juice left to text my mom that I was spending the night at Amber's but aside from that I was conserving my battery to navigate the ride home. Not having my phone was a refreshing and much needed change that I took advantage of. We were nearing the end of winter, but it was still relatively cold outside though I didn't mind too much. I had my winter coat and scarf on which were more than enough to keep me warm.
"There you are."
I didn't have to turn around to know it was James. "Hey," I said softly.
I felt his presence behind me as he gently pushed the tire swing I was seated on. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing."
I shrugged, enjoying the feeling of the brisk wind on my face. "It's refreshing."
When he abruptly stopped pushing, I turned to face him. James' mouth was formed in a thin line, his forehead creased with worry. "I'm sorry about what happened earlier. He was out of line and I should've said something."
"Should've said something?" I asked incredulously. "James, you said more than enough." I stood up and slid my arms around his waist, looking up at his handsome face. It still baffled me that someone as breathtaking as James was interested in me.
He licked his lips as he contemplated over his words. "I really like you, Dani."
Considering he wasn't one to express how he felt, his words were that much more impactful. I found myself grinning up at him. "I know." I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his, my smile broadening as he kissed me back. We were outside kissing for who knew how long but I didn't want the moment to end. Sadly all good things came to an end, and James rested his forehead against mine as we pulled away.
"So I guess we've upgraded from neighbours to roommates." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, making me roll my eyes.
"Way to ruin the moment, dumb ass."
~*~
I let out a soft yawn as I opened my eyes. Judging by the darkness of the room I assumed it was still late in the night. I carefully slipped out of bed, making sure not to awake James as I crept out of the bedroom and down the hall. Since Helena and Bobby lived in a bungalow, every room was on one storey so I continued down the hall until I was in the kitchen. I opened the cupboard and took a glass before filling it with water from the faucet. I leaned against the counter as I took a sip, lost in thought.
"Jameson?" Helena's voice called out as she entered the kitchen. She smiled when she saw me. "Honey, why are you still awake?"
"I just got up for a drink of water." I held up my glass to show her. I was expecting Helena to leave, but instead she stood in place still smiling at me.
"When you called me yesterday it felt like a dream," she began. "It all seemed too good to be true that my Jameson was coming back." A regretful look flashed across her face. "It hurt me so much to send him away. I would never abandon my sweet boy but Bobby insisted he be taught a lesson."
"Why are you still with Bobby?" I blurted without thinking. Come on, she couldn't blame me for wondering, Bobby was an absolute dick.
Helena smiled again though this time it didn't reach her eyes. Her formerly twinkling grey eyes were far more dull and void of life. "Bobby has been good to my family in ways I'm afraid my son will never understand. He was there for us when Jameson's father left."
"You both divorced?" I asked, prying way more than I knew was respectful but I was just so curious and James wouldn't tell me anything.
Helena shook her head. "A different kind of passing, dear." I nodded, unsure of what to say. I briefly recalled James mentioning his dad had a history with drugs but judging by the look on Helena's face I didn't want to push that topic further. "While Bobby isn't the best example I want leading my son, he's better than nothing," she finished. Now it all made sense. Helena knew her new husband was whack, but I supposed it beat living on the streets.
"I'm sorry," I said, though it wasn't like my apology could magically solve all of their problems.
"Everything happens for a reason." She paused. "He met you." Her eyes flashed with the warm spark that was missing prior. "It gives me ease knowing my son has someone like you in his life. He's lucky to have you." I awkwardly took a sip of my water. What the hell was I even supposed to say to that? Be a bashful idiot and disagree, or be a pompous dick and agree? "You should get some rest," Helena said before leaving me alone in the kitchen.
I finished the rest of my water as I pondered over her words. James and Helena were both the only family the other had, meanwhile Bobby gave zero shits when he put a wedge between mother and son. It was at that moment I made a mental promise to take care of James and always be there for him. I liked him in more ways than he'd ever know, and I couldn't bear to see him get hurt like he'd been hurting in the past. I returned back to our shared bedroom and slowly crept back into the bed. The wooden floor betrayed me by creaking with every step I took and I hoped it wouldn't disturb James. My luck ran out just as I got under the covers when I heard James move.
"Dani, is that you?" he muttered, half asleep.
"Go back to sleep," I whispered softly. James murmured incoherent words that I couldn't make out as he sleepily adjusted his position. He threw his arm over my stomach, resting his head on my chest and within seconds I heard his light snores fill the room. I ran my fingers through his curly hair until I found my eyes growing heavy. I gently pressed my lips to his forehead. "Goodnight."
~*~
"It was great meeting you, Mrs. Hastings."
The tiny woman shook her head in disappointment. "I told you to call me Helena. You're family now."
I smiled at her. "Bye, Helena."
"You better visit soon," she told me before giving James a stern look. "And you better as well."
He chuckled, a grin on his face. "I promised you I'm coming next weekend, Ma."
She hugged both of us before waving goodbye as we got into my car, not stopping until we could no longer see her. Although we had a long drive ahead of us, time flew by. James filled the air as he animatedly shared stories of his childhood and I quietly listened, enjoying this new side of him. The brooding lone wolf was now replaced with a beaming and energetic kid. Spending the day with his mom unleashed a whole new James, one who loved the world and everything in it. It wasn't until we stopped for gas did I get a break from his stories, not that I was complaining. After paying inside the gas station, I returned back to the car to an oddly quiet atmosphere.
"No more farm stories?" I teased.
"You never told me about your dad," James suddenly said. I gripped the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turned white. This was really not the conversation I wanted to be having right now. "You don't have to tell me," he offered in a quiet voice.
"You were honest with me." I swallowed a lump in my throat. "It's only fair I'm honest with you too." I fixated my gaze on the empty road ahead, not wanting to make eye contact with James out of fear he'd see I was basically on the verge of tears. The only thing worse than almost crying was someone knowing you were about to cry which usually ended up in you crying. It wasn't the best idea for the driver to be blinded by tears, per se.
"I was really close with my dad," I began, the memories resurfacing in my mind so vividly like it was just yesterday. "I loved him more than I loved anyone in this world. He was the best father I could ever ask for." I paused. "He is."
James eyed me skeptically. "Wait, he's alive?"
I slowly nodded. "He and my mom used to fight a lot. They couldn't be in a room together longer than a few minutes without another fight starting. They probably would've split sooner, but I guess they stayed together when my mom got pregnant with Alex."
"Ten years ago," he presumed, and I nodded again.
"The fights and hatred between them only escalated and Dad tried, I know he tried to make things better. But my mom..." I exhaled through my nostrils. "Well she was always quick to find the easy route." I bit my inner cheek as I told James the story, reliving the night that haunted me for years. I thought after five years the details would be a little cloudy, but it was all too clear.
Niko was at a friend's house for a sleepover, Alex and Brent were asleep, but I wasn't. I was never able to fall asleep whenever my parents were fighting. I would always creep at the top of the staircase and eavesdrop, which wasn't exactly hard to do. They tried to keep their voices down but things always got heated to the point where they'd be yelling and screaming, and Mom would be throwing things around the room. I was only twelve at the time, but I remembered this fight was a lot different than any others they had. Unlike their usual disputes, this was all one-sided. I recalled hearing my mom screaming while Dad quietly took everything she shouted at him. It was the first time I heard her tell him she hated him. I couldn't remember the finer details, but I did remember crying so hard my whole body shook. Call it the first and only Parker twin telepathy occurrence, but my muffled cries somehow woke up Brenton who came to check on me. I sobbed in his arms as we quietly listened to the rest of their fight, neither of us foreseeing what was to come next. Usually one parent would go back to their bedroom and the other would take the home office or the living room couch for the night, but not that night. Mom yelled at Dad to leave, and when we heard their footsteps coming to the staircase we hid in the closet in the hallway, leaving the door just slightly ajar. They went to their bedroom and came out a few minutes later, a carryon bag in Dad's hands. He asked my mom to say goodbye to us â I heard it loud and clear â but she refused. How horrible of a monster did she have to be to not let a father say goodbye to his children before walking out of their lives forever? Without one final embrace from my father, he walked out the door, never to return again. Five years later, and the man I once loved more than life itself became a distant memory. We weren't allowed to speak about him and Mom acted like he never even existed. For five damn years I lived without a father, not knowing why he left, where he was now, and whether or not he was even alive. My mother and I never saw eye to eye on almost everything, but her forcibly removing my own dad from my life made me despise her. I had absolutely no love for my mother and I was just counting down the days until I graduated. Once I graduated I was leaving and never coming back. I was going to leave her just like she made my dad leave us.
By the end of my retelling I was breathing so heavily, not even aware of the dried tears on my face. My hands were so firmly wrapped around the steering wheel but it didn't feel like we were moving. I looked up, surprised to see that we, in fact, were not moving. I made a mental note to pull over the next time I was sharing childhood trauma while driving. Luckily we were on a pretty dead road so I didn't anticipate any cars passing here for at least a few hours. I turned to glance at my companion who had been silent the entire time. James had a stoic expression as per usual, and when he caught my eye he reached over to unbuckle my seatbelt. I had no energy to argue or even question so I simply watched as he slipped his hands under my legs and behind my back and scooped me onto his lap. I felt like a baby being cradled to sleep, but at this point I didn't care. That incident stripped me of the remainder of my childhood and it felt good to be coddled in a way I hadn't for years. I pressed my ear against James' chest, his steady heartbeat soothing me. He stroked my hair with one hand as his other arm was wrapped around me tightly. I breathed in his scent, feeling safe in his warmth, the two of us sitting in complete silence. I couldn't explain why, but there was something so soothing about being in the company of someone without having to talk. There was absolutely nothing anyone could say that would've made me feel better, but laying here in the middle of nowhere in James' arms was the closest I'd feel to at ease. Pulling my head away from his chest, I craned my neck and kissed his cheek.
"What was that for?" he asked quietly, his deep voice reverberating through me.
"Thank you," I told him earnestly and I meant it.
He rested his forehead against mine, our noses touching. "I'll always be here for you."
"I know," I said, again truly meaning it. Although he wasn't the most in touch with his feelings, James' words moved mountains.
~*~
"Did you have a good time at Amber's?" Mom asked as I walked through the front door. I was surprised she even cared. Just until two weeks ago she had been referring to Amber as Ruby, Goldie, and just about any other gem she could think of.
"Why won't you talk about Dad?" I asked, unable to keep it in any longer. My talk with James made me realize five years was too damn long and I refused to be away from my father any longer. Brenton and Alex, who were playing video games on the couch, ignored their game to turn to us, their mouths agape.
"Daniella," Mom started in that pretentious tone of hers. "You know we don't speak of him under my roof."
"Then let's talk outside. I'm tired of you keeping him a secret." I paused, mulling over my next words knowing the crowd was going to flip out. "I want to see my father."
Brenton and Alex had completely betrayed their game now, their undivided attention on us. My twin shot me a look indicating I should shut the hell up right now unless I wanted to be booted on the next flight out to some boarding school in Europe.
"Daniella Evangeline Parker!" We all looked at Mom with wide eyes. This was the second time she lost her cool and yelled at me, but also the first time I had heard her utter my full name. "You are never to speak about him ever again under my damn roof." Although damn wasn't exactly a swear word, I was taken aback hearing Mom say it. She never used any kind of foul language ever.
"I want to meet him," I continued, unwilling to throw this conversation under the rug like she forced us to do whenever we mentioned him. "He's my f*cking father, for crying out loud!"
I couldn't tell if she was more shocked by my demand or that I swore, but Mom was not here for it. She gripped the wine glass in her hand so tightly it broke in her palm, but she ignored her now bleeding hand to glare at me. "You've lost car and phone privileges until you can learn to show a little respect," she said in an eerily composed voice. Glad to see my robot of a mother was back to her fake self. She extended her uninjured hand, expecting me to place my phone in it, but instead I took my phone out of my coat pocket and chucked it at the wall. "Excuseâ"
"Save it." I clenched my jaw to hold my tears at bay. "I hate you."