Chapter 26: chapter 26

  "Can you guys, give us our space?" He asked looking at Chuck and Jason.Chuck nodded, but Jason stared at him with anger.He let out a breath, "Yes, Jason. the Answer to your question is yes. I'm not doing it" he yelled."You'll feel for this," he said that angrily and left the apartment swiftly."Chuck, take Roger with you" he ordered him.He picked him and looked at me, "I'm sorry, Ana" he sincerely apologised to me and didn't wait for my answer, he left the room.Now, we both stood in silence. He sighed deeply and called my name, "Ana...please..." He tried to come closer."No" I stopped him, "Stand there and say what you have to say".He stopped in a midway and spoke, "You know how my parents are...how much they love me" he said that with sarcasm, "I don't know why the hell they gave birth to us"."During my childhood, they never spend quality time with me or my brother. They'll be home only for a week in a month. All they concentrated on was the movies, promotions, advertisements. I and my brother are a comfort to each other. His name was Ian Rovan, he is the only good thing I had in my home. He was two years elder than me".He stopped for a breath and continued, "If you love someone and they don't care about your presence, We'll try to sneak attention from them, right? That's what he did" his voice now broke, "He...he...fell into drugs and alcohol to catch their attention...but...but they didn't notice".He sniffed his nose, "To add a cherry on the cake, they forced him into the theatrical school. But, he wanted to be an architect. They did not even once ask what's his wish was. That made him more worse"."Life moved like this. That's when this fucking Collins came" he clenched his jaws in anger, "He photographed my brother while he was taking drugs. He came to our parents and showed that photos. They were shocked at first, but they paid a hefty amount to him, not to disclose this photograph. He understood that this is a goose laying golden eggs, he caught the scent of money, like a hungry wolf"."He started to follow my brother everywhere, snapped when he did drugs, alcohol and girls, came back to my parents, they paid him" he clenched his fist and punched it on the wall in anger, "Dammit! They couldn't control Collins. But, they can control my brother, Right? They started to ground him, lock him in a dark room, yell at him instead of asking what's his problem was. They transferred their entire anger from Collins to him"."Seeing what they did to him, I was scared and obeyed their orders. I joined the theatrical school, learned to dance, sing, play instruments, Drama and did whatever they asked me to do. But he did exactly opposite of what they asked"."One day this turned into a huge fight and they locked him in a dark room for a week and went out. I knocked on his door after they left. He...he...didn't answer...I was scared and called our Nanny. When we opened the door, he was laying down on the coffee table, with his head buried inside the cocaine. I took him to the hospital...but...but he died due to drug overdose" there was a real horror on his face, "The last words he spoke were thanking me"."That Day, I took a resolution to humiliate everyone involved in his death. I thought Collins won't interrupt anymore after that. But, I was wrong"."For Rovans, Dignity is more important than anything in the world. So, they changed his death into a car accident. After the funeral, he came, not to pay his last respect. But with proof that my brother died due to drug overdose"."Once again, they paid and made an agreement with him that not disturb any more of Rovan's family" his eyes were now filled with sadness and looked at me, "He is a vulture. He made a fortune using my brother's name, even using his death. Ian was good and kind, but see what he did to my brother" he shouted which echoed his voice around the room.I felt sorry for his brother, but he has no right to hurt me. Now, I understood what he meant when Collins have more enemies. I wiped my tears away and sighed, "Thank you" I turned to leave.He came before me, "Ana! No! Please" he begged me, "Please, don't leave me"."How can you do this to me, Chris? How can you?" I asked him heartbroken.He kneeled before me, "Ana, at first I was angry and that hid my sense. I didn't see or think anything. But...but...when the moment you saved me from that guy...I started to see how stupid I am. I swear, after that, I didn't plan on anything to do to you" he pinched his neck, swearing, "When you shared what he...he...he did to you...I understood you are also a victim...from that moment, I wished to protect you and love you. Ana, Trust me"."Trust you?" I questioned him, "How can you expect me to trust you after you did this all?" I closed my eyes for a second, "After Sam left me, I didn't trust any men. You are the first I shared everything, not even Jamie. That much I trusted you. But now, I couldn't distinguish when you acted and when you loved me" my voice became squeaky, "There is no difference between you and him. Omg! Now If I recollect those moments...I couldn't even enjoy them. You invited me to your house party, not because you liked my idea. You subscribed to my magazine to be good in front of me. You send those albums to be in my good book. Omg! Omg!" The more I realised, the more I understood how fool I am and it made me angry."You had many chances after that to explain yourself. Even when I shared my trauma, you had the opportunity to say everything. But, you didn't. Even morning, when we were in bed" I couldn't speak anymore and cried."This is what I'm exactly scared of" his eyes became moist, "If I explain everything, I was scared that...that...you'll leave me. I tried to bring this topic but I didn't have enough courage to speak out" nerves bulged out of his neck, "After Ian, you are the one I have in my life"."Same here, Chris" I screamed, "After my Grandpa, you made me feel safe and secure. But now, that trust is broken" I replied emptily, "Thanks for everything you gave me. I will never forget this in my life. You gave me another reason not to trust anybody in my life. In fact, I thought I found my person for the rest of my life. But...never mind" I shook my head and moved away from him.He caught my wrist, "No, Ana" he pleaded with me raising up, "I told you...you are the most important in my life and you can't escape from me. Please, I need you" he came near me and kissed my head deeply. I don't know why I let him do that. His tears fell on my head, "Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Give me one more chance. I won't mess up this time. I want you in my life. I can't run a day without seeing you, please"."No...No" I pushed him away before I can change my mind, "Everything is over between us, Chris. This is not a game to give second chance. Don't ever show your face to me. Goodbye, Rovan".I came out of his apartment and stopped outside. I want to scream and yell until my lungs get burned. I...I...didn't have the strength to do that. I walked hopelessly wishing to be dead. I now want to be get caught by some lunatic killer and I won't even care if he kills me by torturing or instantly putting a gun on my head. I really wished that to happen. I recollected every moment I spend with him, until this evening.God! I wish to rewind. Maybe I shouldn't be here. If I didn't, Jason and he will ended things smoothly and we'll be together forever, happily.No! Ana! My mind alerted me. When you became this dependant on someone? You are a brave girl! You came across the worst things in your life. This is also similar to that, you can get over this. It strengthened me a bit. After hours of walking hopelessly, I decided to head out to Jamie's apartment. I rang his doorbell, weakly. He opened it after a second, "Ana! Omg! What happened?"I hugged him and cried and screamed till I lost my breath in my lungs. He got shocked, "Ana! Ana! What's this? Omg! Is something bad?""Yes, Jamie" I replied him in a sore voice, "Very bad".He didn't raise questions after that and rubbed my back. When there is no more water left in my eyes, I stopped crying.He bought me to the couch and asked, "Ana" he squeezed my hands gently, "Darling! What happened?" His voice was fragile as like handling the glass.There is nothing to hide anymore. I explained everything, his past...my past...his plan...everything.After an hour, I finished with a clogged nose.  He stammered, "Ana...Ana...I couldn't" he find it difficult to breathe, "Sorry, I need a moment to take this".I placed my head on his shoulder, bags were formed under my eyes as a result of crying, "Even after this...I couldn't hate him, Jamie" My eyes burned in irritation when another tear came out.Meanwhile Chris,     She left me...That's all...she left me and I am responsible for that. My chest tightened and I felt dizzy. N number of knives stabbed through my heart and it was bleeding. I punched the coffee table in anger. Glass on top of it cracked and smashed into pieces. Some pieces stuck in my hand and made it bleed. Droplets of blood fell on the floor. But that didn't hurt me as much as pain inside my heart.I hate me! I hate her! I hate everyone! Tears started to roll down my cheeks! Don't cry! Don't cry! She is not worth it! No, she is worth it! I'm not worth crying for her. No! She is not WORTH IT!