Chapter 44: chapter 44

When I reached back, Alex and Nyra stood in front of our apartment, "Alex and Nyra? What happened?" I asked them."Oh...Chris! Ana...she vanished in the air. Since morning, she is not in the office and not answering her phone. So we thought to stop here".Fuck! I should never let her alone. This is all my fault, "Did you rang the doorbell?""No, we were about to" Alex replied, "We just now arrived".I unlocked the door and let them inside. My eyes searched her around, our bedroom door was closed. I knocked it, "Ana...?Ana...?Ana...?"After few minutes, I heard the sound of the door unlocking. She stood dizzily in front of me, her hair was a complete mess. Due to sweat, it stuck in her face making her completely pale. She was in her office suit, "Omg! Ana! Are you okay?" I placed my hand on her shoulder.She hesitated a second before answering, "Yeah...yeah...I'm fine" her voice was cold and shallow, "I'm fine" she moved away from me."But you don't look like that" Nyra asked.She sighed, "Alex and Nyra" she squinted her eyes, "What do you guys doing here?""We came to check on you" Alex replied shoving his hands in the pocket.She rubbed her forehead uneasily and moaned with irritation "I'm fine...it's not like I've been kidnapped. Stop treating me like a child. I'm a grown-up".They looked at each other uneasily. Nyra cleared her throat trying to change this awkward situation, "Ahem...so what happened? Why do you look like shit?""Umm..." She headed towards the kitchen, "I'm...I'm having my periods" replied pouring water in a glass."Ana..." Nyra sighed, "We've been asking to consult a doctor about this. Why the hell are you not listening?""Wait! Wait! Hold on! Why the hell she needs to see a doctor?" I interrupted them.Nyra looked at me, "She is having these bad cramps ever since I know her"."Bad cramps?" I got confused, "She said it's usual to have cramps during this time"."Yes Chris, it's a regular thing. But what she is experiencing is more painful than the regular ones. Like she can't get out of the bed for 3 days. It's a bad one. We've been requesting her years to see a doctor for it" she finished letting out a breath."Ana, is this true?" I crossed my arms.She lowered her head, rolling her tongue inside the mouth.I turned towards Nyra, "Thanks for the information, Nyra. Tomorrow, we are going to see a doctor"."No, we don't" she shouted before I can finish."Why?"She stared at Nyra and Alex, "Nyra, I think we should go" Alex pulled her hand."Don't listen to whatever fuck she says" Nyra warned me and walked away from us.They left the apartment after a second. I looked at her, "Why we don't need to meet a Doctor?""Because I don't want to" she replied angrily and walked straight to our bedroom."But Ana, how the fuck you will live with this pain? It should be immediately removed from you. No excuses, we are going to the Doc"."Ugh...you too joined with their nonsense? Why the hell can't decide my own life? I know how to live my life. Don't pamper me"."Fine, I won't. Just tell me the reason why you don't wanna go".She sighed, "Okay, you want the reason?" She stood before my face, "Because I know exactly what he did to me" her voice sounded both in anger and sadness."You don't know what I've gone through with him. Literally, he considered me as his wife and did everything you do with your wife. So, if he is the reason for this pain...I can't...I just...can't take it anymore. He already ruined my childhood...I can't give this to him, Again!" she shouted that word.She tried to hide her tears, but a drop escaped from her eyes and ran down her left cheek. She swiftly wiped it away.It ached my heart. My girl! She is suffering from pain both physically and mentally and I can't do anything to help with it. It irked me, she deserves every happiness in the world. She shouldn't wind up like this. She has already seen much"."Ana" I called her name as calmly as I could, "Darling! I just wanna you to be healthy and happy. That's all I need. You can't live under the shadow of fear. I'm here for you, share everything with me and we can go through this together"."No, I can live with it" she got angrier, "Don't try to mess up my life"."Your life? Is this how you live your life? Always thinking about the things he did to you?""Yes, I am. If you are okay with this, stay in my life otherwise you can leave".It irked me, "Your life? When this became your life? It's ours"."If you continue this, definitely this will become a separate lives" her eyes sparkled in anger.Her sharp words stitched my heart and my inability to help her added extra fuel to that anger, "You know what? I just canceled an important photoshoot for you and came to see you. This is what you give me? I'm worried sick like a hell but this is the way you treat me?"She just came back to her realization, "What...you... canceled the shoot?""No, it doesn't matter anymore and thanks for this. I thought we share everything, but I think you are not ready for this. Thanks for teaching me my limit. If you wish, I'll move out of this house. Because I don't want to disturb your life" I emphasized it and rushed towards the door before she can answer.I slammed the door behind and sighed. Right now! I need a drink. Luckily a bar is a block away from here.I reached there, it was about to close. So there were one or two people. I ordered a beer taking a seat. When I had two glasses, my mind numbed the disturbing thoughts.A probable 19-year-old girl neared me, "If you don't mind, Are you Christopher Rovan?"I smiled, "Yup, it's me".She replied with excitement, "Omg! I can't believe that I'm seeing you. I'm a huge fan of you. Your posters decorated my walls. Simply my room is filled with your faces"."Thanks for the love" I replied gently."Again! Omg!" She pinched herself, "Can I have a picture with you?""Sure".She clicked a selfie with me, "Thank you so much" her cherry red lips opened wide in excitement."Not a problem" I sipped my beer turning away from her.After few seconds, she asked, "Rough day, huh?""Kind of" I shrugged.I sensed her eyeing me from top to bottom, "You know this bar is closing here. I know a place, it'll be open for an entire night. I'm heading there, you wanna come?"Okay! I know where it is going, "Umm...I think I'll pass on it. Anyway thanks" I tried to be polite.She got disappointed, but she immediately hid it, "Okay" she sat near me, "You...you...know...I'm...I'm free for tonight".Okay! She won't stop, "Miss, I'm not interested in this. I'm drunk, upset, and alone doesn't mean that I'm going to take advantage of you. I have a girlfriend and I love her. So, can you leave me alone?"She stood up, "Umm...sorry".She left me alone. After few minutes of thinking of my behavior with Ana, I questioned myself. What the hell you did Chris? She was in pain so she blabbered those words and you competed with her? I recalled those words I told her. Shit! I shouldn't spoke to her like that. I need to apologize to her. I felt guilty and imagined her worried face. I shook my head, right now I just wanna cuddle her and say how sorry I am.I reached back to the apartment, it was silent. I slowly locked the door behind me. She must be in the bedroom. I went inside it, She was laying on her side resting her head on her hands in a crooked position. The room was dark, except for the night lamp chasing it away.I layed near her, showing my back. After few seconds of gaining courage, I turned to look at her. She was in the same position, I touched her shoulder, "Ana...I'm..."Before I can finish, she rushed into my arms hugging me tightly burying her face inside my chest. She sobbed hard like a child. It melted me, "Ana! Ana! What's this?" I asked rubbing her head."I'm so sorry...Chris...I take my words back...that's...I don't know how it came out of my mouth. I'm sorry, please don't leave me. Right now, you are the only good thing I have in my life. I can't lose you too...this is what I'm really scared of...my stupidity spoiling is...I'm...I'm...sorry" she found it hard to breathe.I made her look at my eyes, "Ana, I'm sorry too...I too acted rudely with you. I won't leave you. You don't have to give any explanation" I kissed her lips, a splash of tears fell out of my eyes, "I love you"."It's never my life, Chris. It's ours" she replied in a clogged voice."I know" I smiled and assured her."Never leave me" she kissed wrapping her arms around my chest and cuddled me as much as she could. To be frank, there is no air gap between us, "You are my safe place Chris, and sorry for the bad welcome" she said with love.I wrapped my right hand behind her hips, "So, everything okay between us?"She nodded, "Can we sleep like this?"Next morning,        I looked at her, she was cuddling inside my arms. The entire night, she didn't change her position. It's like she wanted my breath on her. I gently rolled her over covering her with a sheet. I kissed her forehead, she licked her lips. I smiled and raised up. When I headed towards the bath I saw the broken mirror. What's this? Thinking about that, I came inside the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and splashed water on my face.I opened the cabinet behind the mirror to pick up my toothpaste. When I was about to close the door, I saw it. Her tampons packet was sealed. Wait a minute! If she is having periods, she must use this right? Something is wrong...she is hiding something.I came back to the bed, exactly she opened her eyes at that minute, "Good morning" she smiled."Ana, I need the truth. What the hell happened here? Why mirror is broken and I know you are not having your periods. So, where were you yesterday morning? And why were you shaken up?"She became reluctant. After few minutes, she opened her mouth to speak."Ana! Stop! Before you can spin another lie. I just want the truth or else I won't leave you".