It didnât take long for him to regret the decision he had made earlier. As he roughly covered himself with the blanket, Ihyeok turned off the lights and approached him.
Then, as if responding automatically, his heart started pounding. The sound was so loud that he worried if Ihyeok might hear it. He was at a loss as to why he was reacting this way.
He had thought wrong after all. Yes, no matter how you looked at it, sharing a bed in this ridiculous situation where nothing had been resolved, and after hearing Ihyeokâs bombshell statement, was not right.
Hyeseong started to contemplate while hiding tightly under the blanket. If he could just fall asleep, it wouldnât matter, but strangely his eyes were wide awake.
Should he leave now? Or maybe it wouldnât be bad to go to another room once Ihyeok fell asleep.
Just as Hyeseong was feeling relieved that he had come up with an appropriate alternative planâ¦
âHyeseong.â
Ihyeokâs low voice was heard from behind. Hyeseong visibly startled.
âHow long are you going to keep the blanket like that? Youâll suffocate.â
No wonder it felt hot. Hyeseong cleared his throat unnecessarily and lowered the blanket. He straightened his body as if nothing was wrong. Then, suddenly curious, he glanced to the side, only to find Ihyeok looking at him with his chin propped up from a short distance away.
ââ¦Why are you looking at me like that?â
âSee, your face is red.â
âDonât lie. How can you see that in the dark?â
âAhjussiâs eyes can see everything.â
Strangely, Ihyeok seemed a bit excited. What was he so happy about? Someone elseâs insides were all turned upside down because of him.
âHyeseong, I said that earlier, but Iâm not a pervert who touches without permission, so donât worry. Iâm trying really hard. To control my pheromones.â
Come to think of it, since entering this room, Hyeseong hadnât smelled Ihyeokâs pheromones even once. His mind had been so noisy that he hadnât noticed, but he didnât expect Ihyeok to be mindful of even that aspect.
Hyeseong thought he should pay a little attention too.
âIâll try not to touch even a hair until you give me permission.â
Permission? When Hyeseong stared at him with wide eyes, Ihyeok was grinning. So what, if he gave permission, what would he do? And what did he mean by âtryâ?
âAhjussi⦠how can you say such things without changing your expression?â
When Hyeseong looked at him with a contemptuous expression, Ihyeok burst into laughter.
âHowâs your body?â
ââ¦Itâs fine. I went to the hospital afterward and got a new prescription for suppressants.â
âThatâs a relief.â
As Ihyeok naturally brought up the topic related to the heat, silence once again filled the room. For Hyeseong, who still found it difficult to accept the fact that he had spent his heat with Ihyeok, it was hard to grasp what to say to him right away.
âHyeseong, Iâm sorry.â
Then Ihyeok broke the silence with an apology.
âFor what?â
âAbout what happened during the business trip to England. To be honest, I still donât remember. But since I⦠did embrace you that day, Iâll apologize.â
Ihyeokâs words were filled with sincerity. By now, Ihyeok was speaking in a somewhat subdued voice, different from before.
In fact, Hyeseong hadnât confessed about that day to receive an apology from Ihyeok. Though he might not have known well at the time, when you think about it, he was bound to manifest as an omega anyway, and there were plenty of opportunities to escape from that situation.
âYou donât have anything to apologize for, Ahjussi.â
Hyeseong turned his back to Ihyeok.
âTo tell the truth, there were opportunities to escape from you when you were in rut. If I had called the medical staff then, the situation would have been resolved. But I didnât. That was my choice andâ¦â
Hyeseongâs voice trailed off for a moment. Ihyeok didnât rush him, waiting for the boy to finish what he wanted to say.
âI donât regret it.â
Of course, that incident had led to his full manifestation as an omega and became the catalyst for leaving Taesung and completely departing from Ihyeokâs side, but if someone were to seriously ask if he regretted that choice, Hyeseong would answer no.
âWhat you said to me earlier, Ahjussi. Thatâ¦â
âThat I love you?â
When Hyeseong hesitated, Ihyeok finished the sentence for him. Hyeseongâs back visibly flinched in surprise. Seeing him unable to hide his emotions like this was quite refreshing for Ihyeok as well.
âTo be honest, Iâm not sure. Iâve liked you from the moment I met you, and itâs always been one-sided. Iâve never once thought that you might have the same feelings as me.â
The reason he turned his back was that he didnât think he could say these words properly without trembling if he saw Ihyeokâs face. Voicing the feelings he had harbored for a long time was unfamiliar to Hyeseong as well.
âItâs not that I donât believe your words. But my head still canât seem to accept it well.â
In his relationship with Ihyeok, Hyeseong was always alone, and that was natural. As a member of the Taesung faction and as the secretary to the CEO of Taesung, he always silently followed behind him.
Watching the back of Kwon Ihyeok, who made and pioneered his way without hesitation or fear of any obstacles, was familiar to Hyeseong.
Sometimes, he would notice the space beside him. He had thought about what it would be like to walk together, face to face as equals, rather than following from behind, but Hyeseong had never even considered the possibility that it could happen.
Just as a frog in a well doesnât know thereâs a wider world outside, he didnât know there was a different picture on the other side of the coin.
Humans are creatures that live within their own experiences. It was common to make choices and act based on what they had seen, felt, and experienced throughout their lives.
It was natural to be afraid of things you havenât experienced, and breaking through that and moving forward could be described as a challenge.
Then, was accepting Ihyeokâs feelings a challenge for him?
âIâm just confused about everything. So⦠please give me some time to think.â
It would be a lie to say he wasnât happy to hear Ihyeokâs words. He seemed to have thought about wanting to be embraced by Ihyeok right away from some desire deep inside. Thatâs why he was all the more confused.
ââ¦Okay. I understand. Letâs go to sleep now. Youâll be tired tomorrow.â
âGood night to you too, Ahjussi.â
Perhaps it was because he had spoken out what was in his heart. He felt much more at ease than before. What expression would Ihyeok be making now? Hyeseong slowly closed his eyes while thinking about this.
* * *
Not long after, Hyeseong fell into a stable sleep. He was now facing Ihyeokâs direction, breathing softly and cutely with his eyes closed.
ââ¦â@@novelbin@@
The night was long, and it was still dark outside. Taking advantage of his eyes that had grown accustomed to the darkness, Ihyeok turned to face Hyeseong and was looking down at his face.
Earlier, Hyeseongâs words kept ringing in his ears. That he didnât regret spending the rut together, that he had only liked him for 6 years and never even thought about the opposite.
Ihyeok clenched his fist without realizing it. Hyeseong was not used to it. It was difficult for him to receive the same emotion because he had only given and harbored feelings. The one who made him this way was none other than himself.
He had prided himself on cherishing Hyeseong as a precious younger brother and an outstanding member in his own way. But now he realized. That it was nothing more than a huge misunderstanding. In those fleeting moments that even he had taken for granted, how much hurt must this child have received?
Had he endured lonely times alone to the point where he felt it was natural to love alone? Despite this, Hyeseong had silently stayed by Ihyeokâs side.
The reason he desperately hid his feelings for him was probably because he feared that if his feelings surfaced, it would ruin this relationship. He must have been afraid of not being able to remain even as secretary and CEO, or as brothers. And yet, he would have worried about the hurt and guilt Ihyeok would feel.
He probably didnât think about taking care of his own feelings. That was the reason why Hyeseong had become passive now.
âHyeseong.â
His voice, immersed in the night, was now cracking. Ihyeok approached Hyeseong and gently caressed his face.
âAhjussi is sorry.â
If given time to think alone, what answer would Hyeseong come up with? In fact, that wasnât so important. Whatever the conclusion, what he had to do wouldnât change anyway.
âSweet dreams, Hyeseong.â
Ihyeok lowered his head and kissed Hyeseongâs lips. The long, long night was passing like that.