Chapter 62: Chapter 62

The Country Life Diary of a Gangster's Secretary - c62

This chapter is paid for by Nemuru!

Ihyeok stood in front of Hyeseong. Seeing him with a somewhat contorted expression, Ihyeok suddenly felt worried.

“Is something wrong with you?”

“CEO, did you perhaps cancel the business trip to England?”

But the words that came out were unexpectedly in a cold voice.

“…That’s not something for you to be concerned about.”

“How can I not be concerned? It’s because of me that you couldn’t go on the trip, right? Please give me an answer.”

Ihyeok ran his hand through his hair as if frustrated. Ihyeok knew Hyeseong well. He also knew the reason why Hyeseong was bringing this up now. Hyeseong was a kid who took it for granted to thoroughly and properly finish things he planned. Unless it was an absolutely unavoidable situation, for him, not being able to attend an important company schedule was unacceptable.

“It was my choice. I’m the one who didn’t go.”

“That’s what I mean. It’s all because of me. What were you thinking coming to me that day, CEO?”

“What?”

Ihyeok countered coldly.

“You know very well that the England hotel deal is as important to Taesung as the Haein City redevelopment project. You are the face of Taesung, so if you suddenly don’t attend the business trip you personally planned to go on, you must know how the other side will think.”

“Yeah. I know. I knew but I still made my choice, Cheon Hyeseong.”

At Ihyeok’s chilly gaze, Hyeseong unknowingly held his breath.

He didn’t want to say these things. He should be saying thank you for saving me that day, thank you for finding me, but his mouth kept moving on its own. If it wasn’t for Ihyeok, Hyeseong might be on the operating table right now. He might have become disabled, losing his hands or eyes, and be floundering in a swamp of despair.

Yet this is what he’s saying to the benefactor who saved him from that. But Hyeseong was uncontrollably angry. He couldn’t handle himself properly and caused harm to Ihyeok. He hated himself so much for not only receiving help from the person he warned to stop approaching him because it was uncomfortable, but also for causing him trouble.

At the same time, he couldn’t understand Ihyeok either. Giving up an important company schedule, putting everything aside and coming to him, was strange and foolish.

But what made Hyeseong the most miserable right now was the feeling of anticipation he felt towards Ihyeok for all these actions, wondering if maybe, just maybe.

“Why did you do that.”@@novelbin@@

Ha, Ihyeok let out a cold sneer at Hyeseong’s words.

“What do you… take me for. Then should I have left for England regardless of whether you were going through a terrible ordeal with Kim Doo-sung yesterday or not?”

“…I’m no longer your person, CEO.”

“Cheon Hyeseong.”

“Why do you keep…”

Ihyeok, who was about to get angry, suddenly faltered. Tears began to well up in Hyeseong’s eyes. The tears slowly flowed down his red cheeks. Ihyeok was so flustered he didn’t know what to do.

“I really don’t understand and it confuses me why you’re doing this to me, CEO.”

“What?”

“I don’t know why you treat me so affectionately, why you’re only looking straight at me. To you, I’m just a capable secretary who helped build Taesung together. But why do you always find me, approach me, and take care of me even at your own expense? I really don’t know.”

Hyeseong sniffled and wiped away his tears. Reddened eyes stared directly at him. Ihyeok unknowingly held his breath.

“I really don’t know what you take me for either, Ahjussi.”

Hyeseong, uttering that title for the first time in a while, rubbed his eyes hard and soon turned around and quickly disappeared.

“Haa.”

Ihyeok let out the breath he was holding. Hyeseong doesn’t cry often. So much so that even employees at the company used to whisper that not a single drop of blood would come out even if you poked him. Ihyeok also had no immunity to Hyeseong’s tears.

Then very rarely when he faced his crying face, his heart sank like that. Seeing tears about to shatter fall from those big eyes, strangely, he only felt a helplessness to the point he couldn’t do anything. Ihyeok clicked his tongue looking at the empty spot Hyeseong disappeared from.

Nothing was going his way at all.

* * *

It was the worst. What could be as bad as not being able to control your own emotions and taking it out on someone else. Hyeseong, who entered the hospital room, lay on the bed and pulled the blanket over his head.

He thought he was mature but he wasn’t at all. Why did he act so emotionally only when he was in front of Ihyeok? When he was at Taesung, at least with the titles of secretary and CEO, he could control his emotions and thoughts to some extent.

“I’m really pathetic.”

Hyeseong let out a big sigh. Why did he cause trouble for Ihyeok by not being able to keep Kim Doo-sung in check, by not being able to properly resolve one issue. Moreover, why did that person put aside all his important schedules and stay by his side.

Such thoughts swam chaotically in his head, tormenting Hyeseong. Hating himself for having expectations of Ihyeok’s actions, he ended up making a spectacle of himself in front of him. Always having expectations and being disappointed on his own. Ihyeok did nothing wrong.

“Hyeseong! I bought bread from the bakery in front!”

Then Dohyun entered excitedly, opening the door.

“Huh? Hyeseong, did you… cry?”

Dohyun, who came in holding a shopping bag full of bread, slightly faltered upon seeing Hyeseong’s face.

“No, I just yawned so that’s why.”

“Is that so? Anyways, try this. They say it’s really famous here.”

Dohyun brought a plate from somewhere and started placing the bread he bought. It was when Hyeseong blankly stared at the savory aroma that a sudden question popped into his head.

“By the way Dohyun.”

“Yeah?”

“You said you contacted the CEO when I disappeared, right?”

“Yeah. Phew, Hyeseong. Don’t bring that up. I still get chills down my spine just thinking about it that I bolt up from sleep.”

“But how did you know the CEO’s number? Now that I think about it, I don’t think I ever told you.”

Dohyun’s hands noticeably stiffened as he was cutting the bread. When he heard about it then, he couldn’t think about it, but looking back now, it was strange. He never told Dohyun Ihyeok’s number, so how was he able to directly contact Ihyeok back then?

“Wh- what are you talking about! You told me before.”

Dohyun answered, avoiding Hyeseong’s eyes.

“I have no such memory. And Dohyun.”

“Yeah?”

“You think I wouldn’t know when you’re lying?”

Hic, Dohyun held his breath and made an awkward expression. Anyone could tell he was hiding something just by looking at his face.

“Well actually, I met the CEO in the morning before. You know. That day I told you the CEO said he had to go to Seoul for work and couldn’t come down for a while.”

“Yeah.”

Dohyun slowly opened his mouth, likely thinking it was impossible to hide it any longer.

“That day, I exchanged numbers with the CEO.”

“Exchanged numbers? Did you suggest it first?”

Given Dohyun’s personality, exchanging numbers with others wasn’t that strange. He had exceptional affability. But Dohyun was afraid of Ihyeok. Him directly pushing his cell phone to Ihyeok to exchange numbers was hard to imagine.

“No! That’s not it. The CEO suggested it first.”

“The CEO did?”

Dohyun timidly nodded. It became even harder for Hyeseong to grasp his intentions. As if reading his friend’s gaze, Dohyun glanced around for a bit.

“He told me to contact him if anything happens to you and exchanged numbers.”

“…”

Hyeseong gripped the blanket tightly. Even out of sight, that person was worrying about him. Next to him, Dohyun kept chattering that he was sorry he couldn’t say, that he thought he might really die if he told, but none of it reached Hyeseong’s ears right now.

“Hey Hyeseong, are you mad?”

“No.”

Hyeseong was lost in thought, just staring at the bread Dohyun gave him.

“I’m just in a bit of a bad mood. I’m not mad at you so don’t be so cautious.”

Still, Dohyun was busy examining a greatly deflated Hyeseong while chewing bread.

“I fought with the CEO.”

“Huh?”

Hyeseong explained the short argument he had with Ihyeok earlier.

“So that’s why you were in a bad mood.”

“Yeah. I feel so bad but I don’t know his intentions so it’s really frustrating. I hate myself for attaching meaning to and having expectations for the CEO’s every action.”

Dohyun quietly listened to Hyeseong.

“Actually, I’m angry at myself but I took it out on him. Like a fool.”

“Hyeseong.”

Dohyun, seeming to have finished eating the bread, brushed off his hands and called out gravely.

“You’re right. That was your fault.”

At his friend’s decisive words, Hyeseong’s eyes also widened. Dohyun had a slightly serious face, unlike usual.

“I fully understand how you feel. Since you’ve had a one-sided love for the CEO for so long. You must be upset and confused at him for not knowing your heart and keep shaking you up. But that’s only thinking from your perspective. Hyeseong, isn’t the CEO a precious person to you?”

“Uh… that’s right.”

Hyeseong slowly nodded. Precious enough to bet his whole life on. Even if he doesn’t understand my heart, even from afar, I like him enough to want to watch over him by his side for a lifetime.

“Isn’t it the same for the CEO too?”

“…”

“You and the CEO have known each other for 6 years. You wouldn’t have only worked during that time. I don’t think that relationship can simply be expressed as CEO and secretary. Setting aside romantic feelings, I think you’re also a precious person to the CEO regardless of things like that.”

For a moment, he felt a dazed feeling as if he was hit in a part of his head at Dohyun’s words. Like they say, you only see what’s in front of your eyes, I was thinking of everything in relation to my feelings because I like Ihyeok so much.

Because it was so natural for Ihyeok not to see me as a romantic partner. Because I knew too well that I couldn’t be by his side as a lover, I built walls around my heart. That to Ihyeok, I was nothing more or less than just a capable secretary.

I had to think that way to get hurt less. But that was just a thought created as a defense mechanism to protect myself.

“Actually, I also agreed that the CEO only saw you as an essential talent to Taesung since you created and fostered a company together, and you initially met through work. But going through this incident, I could tell right away that wasn’t the case.”

Dohyun smiled and held Hyeseong’s hand.

“You should have seen the CEO’s face when he found out you disappeared. That scary person was trembling? That’s when I knew. Ah, to this person, you’re a precious person, but why doesn’t Hyeseong know when even I do?”

In the end, tears fell from Hyeseong’s eyes.

“What do you… take me for.”

Ihyeok’s hurt face flashed before his eyes. I thought I was the one getting hurt. That I was getting hurt by him who doesn’t understand my heart at all. But why didn’t I think of the opposite? Relying on the defense mechanism I created to not get hurt, wasn’t I the one who actually ignored his heart and hurt him?

Dohyun silently caressed the back of Hyeseong’s hand.

The 6 years of relationship was very precious to me. Enough to amount to the noblest feeling called love.

But for Ihyeok too, that 6 years must not be taken lightly either. He may not harbor feelings of love like I do, but he must be someone who cherishes that relationship more than anyone.

Hyeseong dearly wanted to see Ihyeok right now.

T/N: I’m having mixed emotions on the 5 chapters, thank you so much Nemuru for the chapters! lovelots have a nice day. We love you Nemuru-chan.