Chapter 3 – Fire

Sunday, October 4

“What are your plans for our state, if you’re elected governor?” the attractive news reporter, Julia Awesome, asked the first candidate.

George Whipplesmith smiled at the camera. “First, I must say I want nothing more than to serve the people of this great state—“

Immediately, his pants caught on fire.

“Yowww!” He leaped up screaming.

A firefighter from the audience yelled, “Drop and roll!” When the politician didn’t listen, he tackled the burning man and rolled him on the studio floor until the fire was out.

After the hubbub subsided and Mr. Whipplesmith stopped crying, the EMTs took him to the hospital, Julie said, “I’m sure we all hope candidate Whipplesmith will suffer no permanent harm. Ms. Eleanor Everest, after this terrible incident, will you be able to answer some questions as the remaining candidate in this debate?”

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“Of course, Julia. I express my sincerest condolences to candidate Whipplesmith—“

Her pantyhose and skirt blazed into flames.

“Eiiii!” she screeched. She quickly rolled on the floor. Ms. Awesome took a floor mat and wrapped her legs, putting out the fire.

This time, the hubbub didn’t die out.

Shaking, Ms. Awesome told the viewers, “We’ll have to cancel this live event due to a fire on the candidates. I return you to our network studio.”

* * *

I normally hated it when my parents watched the evening news. It was so depressing, with people lying and accusing each other of terrible things. It didn’t help that my parents always got upset, yelling at one political party or another for lying.

But my sixth-grade teacher gave us the assignment to watch the news and report on what we heard, so I was stuck.

“Wouldn’t it be great if everyone’s pants caught on fire if they lied?” I asked them during a commercial.

“Yes! I’d love that!” said my dad with a laugh.

“People would catch on fire all the time,” said Mom with a smile.

I grinned back. “That’s what I wish for then.”

“That’s wishful thinking,” said Dad. “But it’d be fun. What’s on next, Sean?”

I look at the app on my phone. “The debate between the two candidates for governor, Whipplesmith and Everest.”

“I don’t know much about either of them. Let’s watch it, Phil.”

“Sure, Shirley.”

I sighed. It’ll probably be boring.