Chapter 38: Chapter Thirty-Six

After hours of staring at the ceiling,  I finally threw back the covers and rose. Sleep meant to elude me while the time with Ciaran whipped around my head. I decided to distract myself by fixing Klack.

Klick fluttered to my shoulder as I sat at the desk that faced the moonlight and the stark mountains in the distance.

I stroked Klick's feathers as it preened strands of my hair. "Hey, little buddy, I've sure got a mess on my hands."

Persimmon meowed from the corner of my room, and I jumped in my chair, startled. He padded over to my desk and sat in front of me.

"Silly Persimmon, what are you doing in my room?"

I picked him up and set him on my lap. That was one of the interesting things about my power over ghosts — not only did I see them, but I could also touch them. They became more real from my touch, in fact. The ghost friends I had in the city recalled who they were before they died after my touch. Sometimes, they passed over to the afterlife from that.

The items my birds had collected were hidden in a cup containing pens. I dumped the cup and spread out the little treasures that Klick and Klack had collected.

After taking off Klick's costume as carefully as possible, I looked at the damage. One of his legs had separated at the femur and fibula, plus one of the humerus bones on his wings had snapped in half. That part would be easy to fix. A little glue should do the trick, but the other part was a joint, and I would need some way to keep them together. Klack looked up at me, and I sighed. At least he'd not "died" after the accident. He'd just been stunned.

"I'm sorry, little friend. I keep putting everyone in harm's way lately."

Fixing Klack gave me something tangible to focus on. I wasn't sure if I was fixing Klack or if I was trying to fix myself. His broken bones mirrored the cracks I felt inside, the kind that didn't heal with glue and string.

Three men had kissed me in two days. Ciaran had gone further, igniting something inside me that I didn't even know was there. Was it real, or was I just caught in the whirlwind of magic and fate? And Luis... I didn't even know where we stood anymore."

My face heated as a giddy thrill coursed through my body at the thought of what happened in the ballroom, despite my conflicting emotions. I covered my face with my hands as the memory of my time with Ciaran took center stage.

Ciaran.

My hands trembled slightly as I tightened a piece of string around the tiny broken bones in Klack's wing. My mind slipped back to the storm of power and emotion we had unleashed together. The connection between us had been too deep, too raw. And then his words: that energy exchange could lead to... something else. Could he have been serious, or was it one of his jokes again?

I shook the thought away. I wasn't ready to deal with what that meant. Not yet.

Klack let out a soft clatter, and I realized I had been staring blankly at him, the string wound too tight around his fragile frame. I loosened it, muttering an apology under my breath.

A soft knock sounded on the door.

I put Persimmon down on the ground and walked to the door.  Adrian stood in the doorway. His handsome face was drawn with concern. "You're not okay, Matt."

I was surprised that I'd woken him up with my turmoil.

It must be because he sensed my emotions the way I sensed each emotion of all of my husbands.

That crazy sense of completeness I experienced by having each of them linked to me - even Erick, must be why Adrian was at my door. When it was imbalanced, perhaps it hurt them just as much.

Adrian stepped inside the room, his gaze locking onto mine as though he could sense every ripple of emotion I was feeling. "I felt you. Your turmoil. I couldn't just lie there." He looked mystified by the fact. "In fact, even though I didn't mean to, I could hear your thoughts as well."

My astonishment was just as great as his. "Oh."

I stepped aside so he could come in. He sat on the edge of my bed.

Adrian's presence was like a warm blanket, steady and reassuring. The soft glow of the moonlight bathed his features, casting shadows across his strong jawline and highlighting the worry in his eyes.

I sat down at my desk, not ready to share everything that was going on with Adrian.  Then I touched the treasures that Klick and Klack found me. There were a couple of keys, a pen, three strange gold coins, and a ring as I thought about how '"thrilled" Luis would be about everything that happened after Luke had kissed me in the cemetery. He would explode.

"You can't fix Luis, Matt. He'll have to figure this all out himself. It's not like you had a choice to marry all of us, or how the roots bound us together. Then he thought the next part of his conversation.

"I got your back, Matt. No matter what. Me and you, we'll figure out how to get back to earth, and then you'll join that boy band with me."

I laughed aloud, astonished that he had this new power. He could read minds, sense emotions, AND speak to someone telepathically?

The fact that he could hear my thoughts, feel my emotions... it was a little unsettling, but despite that I felt comforted. It was like our connection had reached a new level beyond the other men, and it made me feel confused, but in an odd happy way. I felt safe and I couldn't explain it.

"I'm not a boy." I thought back.

"Hey, you're magic. We'll improvise!"

"I should let you go back to sleep, Adrian."

Adrian stood up and knelt down in front of me. "Wait, this is the first time I've been able to speak to you alone. I wanted to talk about the night with Joseph. There're some things I think you believe about that night that I wanted to make sure you know."

After so much time burying the awful memory of Joseph in my mind, everyone seemed so determined to unearth him. I looked up at the ceiling, grabbing the ring my birds found, then exhaled slowly.

"Fine, what is it?"

"I didn't have time to talk to you about it, and Luis didn't know, but Joseph didn't get to do anything to you. You sent him running before he could get down to business."

"That's not how I remember it." I frowned as I tried to unearth those hazy memories. I remembered how sour his breath was and Adrian's screams. The feel of the knife in my ribs — that I could remember, definitely, but... between the bite and the knife... things were hazy.

"No, Matt, the minute he bit you, you did that thing with your roots. That's why he cut you."

A sense of elation overcame me as I collapsed on my bed, the ring still in my hand. Adrian followed and laid down next to me.

"Seriously?" I asked, relief flooding into me.

"Yeah... I was going to tell you the next day, but I was riding a high. I thought you and me were together because of what happened the night before."

"You mean when I stole your life force?" I cringed.

"You gave most of it back, and some of yours. But no, it was what happened right after."

My heart started beating as dread crawled up my spine. "What happened, Adrian?"

"Like I said, when Joseph attacked you, his bite turned you into a girl. You still had brown hair like you were Matt, so I guess not all the disguise went away, but you definitely were a girl.  I was freaking out that you'd changed, but when you asked me to kiss you, well, I did. Then you passed out again, and I spent all night listening to your heartbeat, afraid you'd die. You woke up hugging me, thanking me. I thought you meant about what we did..."

Oh, sweet cheeses... I blew out a breath in relief because I thought he was going to say we did something else. "I'd meant about you saving me because I thought you had magic."

"You didn't remember?"

"No..."

"I think Luis did something, Matt. You know, I argued with him before you saw him that night. He was going to take you away. He helped get back all of your disguise and threatened me not to say anything."

He reached for my hand. "Anyway, I was happy when I saw you again at Franco's."

"God, I'm sorry, Adrian. It makes so much sense why you were hanging all over me the next day. I was clueless."

"I'm just glad we got that straight. Makes things easier for me to handle now. At least I know who to be mad at."

"Yeah. But, now I'm a girl, that must be hard."

"The girl thing isn't a problem. I kissed you as a girl, not a guy. It's having to share you. I don't think I can do it. I just found you again. I thought maybe I could lure you to Korea, then... start over without Luis breathing down our necks."

I stared at him, surprised. He still had feelings for me. I hadn't even thought that would be possible after deserting him like that.

I dropped the ring and put my arms around him, hugging him. "Hah.... we definitely have things to work through."

Adrian returned my embrace. "We will, Matt. Hey, I found you again, didn't I? We had this talk too. Progress!"

Progress, sure.

I found the ring again and clutched it, angry now. For three years, Luis lied to me and kept me isolated. Also, for three years, I was just his 'baby brother' and nothing more, even though he knew I wasn't a boy. He wouldn't let me find anyone, but he wouldn't take me for himself.

Well, screw him! He could stay out there, wherever he was, for all I cared. I would not look for him after all! I would tell everyone that Luis could suck it!

"Want me to stay with you, tonight?" Adrian's mouth lifted in a crooked smile, but his eyes looked pitying.

I'm sure I looked surprised because his smile turned into a grin. I returned his grin, then said, "Sure."

"Nice digs by the way — way better than mine."

I shrugged as I looked around at them. "I miss my treehouse, to be honest."

I  buried my head in my pillow. Adrian pulled me closer into his arms. "Are we going to go looking for Luis in the morning?"

I shook my head in my pillow, and it muffled my response. "No, screw him."

Then I turned my head, meeting Adrian's gaze. There was something else gnawing at me, something that had to be said. "There's something else."

I told him about what I'd learned from Ciaran—the energy exchange and the possibility that came with it. Adrian's eyes widened, the shock clear on his face, but he quickly masked it, steadying himself.

"If something like that happens..." He paused, running a hand over his head before continuing with quiet resolve. "We'll figure it out."

"I don't know what to think anymore," I admit, my voice catching. "Luis, Ciaran... even you. Everything's so confusing."

"I know what you mean," he says quietly. "It's hard, feeling like you're trapped in a world that isn't yours to control. But you're not alone in this. I feel it too."

"Do you regret it?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "The bond... everything?"

Adrian looked thoughtful, then stroked my cheek.  "I don't regret finding you," he said quietly. "No matter how complicated things get, you're the one thing I don't regret. But I do wish... we had more choice in all this."

His honesty hit me harder than I expected, and I felt a lump rise in my throat. "I feel the same way," I admitted. "I just wish... we could have some control, some say in what happens next."

"We will," Adrian said, his voice firm. "We'll find a way to take back control of our lives. Even though everything's crazy right now, you've got me."

I looked at him, really looked at him, and for the first time in a long time, I felt a glimmer of hope. It wasn't much, but it was something. And in that moment, it was enough.

He patted my shoulder, then cuddled me closer. "Wanna hear what I've been up to for the past three years? Maybe it will take your mind off your troubles for a little?"

I nodded against his chest. "Yes, very much so."

So, he told me. I learned that a nice family took him in, and they'd discussed adopting him recently. He spoke to me about his bandmates, who he'd known throughout high school. He told me about friends and what they were like. Then he nattered on about the opportunity in Korea.

I'd never imagined I would be in bed with Adrian, no matter how innocent this moment was,  after how we'd started just a couple of days before. But there I was, listening to his steady heartbeat, as his low voice rambled about his life. The rhythm of both his voice and heart, slow and constant, was the only thing keeping my chaotic thoughts at bay.

And soon, despite my world being so tangled, I found rest.