Chapter 39: Volume 3A, 3: Those with Too Much in the Measuring Room

Volume 3A, Chapter 3: Those with Too Much in the Measuring Room

There was so much

So very much

You could say it was too much

Yes

Point Allocation (Not Referring to Anything Weird)

“A mysterious phenomenon? You mean an ether stagnation? Over.”

On Okutama, “Musashi” asked that of “Okutama” along the road through the starboard nature park.

That road was known as Remorse Way. “Okutama” nodded below the faint shadows cast by the parasol of tree branches.

The two of them used gravitational control to keep cleaning supplies floating behind them.

“Judge. The Public Morals Committee and the Operations Committee are investigating, but we are receiving reports of an ether disturbance and witness accounts of what sounds like a mysterious phenomenon in my ship’s underground. Upon confirmation, I plan to have the region cleaned, but what do you think? Over.”

“That would depend on the cleaning method. Over.”

“Musashi” had more to say while she used a few hovering brooms to sweep out the ditch between the road and the sidewalk.

“Will it be Dynamic Washing in which a stream of purified water is used to wash the affected area clean?

“Will it be Dynamic Burning in which the affected area is burned away?

“Will it be Dynamic Purging in which the affected area and the neighboring areas are purged from the ship?

“Will it be Dynamic Self-Destruction in which the entire ship is destroyed?

“Now, which were you planning to use? Over.”

“I always have to wonder: why are they all called ‘dynamic’ and who came up with those ideas? Over.”

“Judge. I believe it was Lord Motonobu. Over.”

“Okutama” gave a nod of understanding and dropped the ditch garbage into the drain. She then heard the voice of a black algae creature from below.

“Water?”

“Judge. Very well. Over.”

“Okutama” raised her right hand and something like a transparent rope flew up into the air from the woods to starboard.

It was water. It came from the seam between the edge of the woods and the adjacent residential district.

“The underground water pipes are also used to inspect the fire-fighting equipment. Over.”

The flying stream shook as if resisting the urge to be released somewhere and it wrapped around the automaton’s right arm.

“Now, then. Over.”

She poured the water into the ditch.

“Yahoo.” “We’re flowing away.” “Hydration.”

“ ‘Okutama’, isn’t that current too strong? Over.”

“It is fine. Over.”

Sure enough, water flew out from other areas. It looked like water was passing through the forest to reach her from the outer edge of the ship, but…

“I am still not used to pulling in water using gravitational control. Over.”

“Then I have determined you should increase how often you clean. Over.”

“But it takes an awful lot of time to check through the contents of Sakai-sama’s black disks… Over.”

“You leave me no choice.” “Musashi” nodded. “Since you appear to be having trouble, I will personally take over Sakai-sama’s day-to-day matters. Over.”

“Are you saying you will check through his black disks, ‘Musashi’-sama!? Over.”

“Musashi” glared at “Okutama”.

“I am in charge of his day-to-day matters. Checking the black disks is your job. Over.”

“I had a feeling you would say that… Oh, ‘Musashi’-sama? That is a civilian-managed point. Over.”

“I count as a civilian on the Musashi. Over.”

With that, “Musashi” entered the woods. There was a small path of only a few meters through the grass.

“Horizon Ariadust’s memorial. …That girl died in an accident on the very day we were officially rolled out. I have heard she was the child of Lord Motonobu and his common-law wife.”

“Musashi” pulled a bouquet from the supplies floating behind her.

She placed it on top of the memorial stone.

“All we understand is data. There are no remains here, so I have determined it only contains remorse and other related feelings. Over.”

“You do not understand emotions any more than the rest of us, ‘Musashi’-sama, so why are you leaving flowers here? Is it a custom? Over.”

“Musashi” nodded at that question from “Okutama”. And she spoke without looking back at the other automaton.

“If there were remains here, leaving flowers would indeed be the custom and tradition.”

Her line continued.

“But…”

But…

“What is this, since it has no remains and merely enshrines a name? Over.”

“I suppose it is meant to record that name and make that individual a part of history.” “Okutama” dropped the water into the ditch and washed everything away. “By carving a stone with the name of someone who had emotions and lived their life, they can maintain things ‘the way they were’. The remains are no more than a guarantee. …The name carved in the stone is less important than the act of carving the name. It allows the survivors to leave something ‘as it was’ since they have no other choice. Over.”

“In that case,” said “Musashi”. “I do not officially know this person. There is no one here to tell us about her. Sakai-sama would likely tell us if I asked, but I would feel virtual displeasure at giving him the upper hand like that. So…”

So…

“By leaving these flowers here, I am showing my understanding that the owner of this name was part of the Musashi’s crew. She was the princess who died on the day I was rolled out but who left her name here. Over.”

“ ‘Musashi’-sama? Over.”

“What is it? Over.”

“Judge.” “Okutama” put away the water and bowed toward “Musashi” who turned back toward her. “Do you know Aoi Toori-sama? Over.”

“How could I not? He broke my defense barriers just yesterday. Over.”

“I suppose so.” “Okutama” nodded. “He too knows the person whose name is carved there. Did you know this? This road is known as Remorse Way and he is known as its master even though he has not come here since the accident nine years ago. Over.”

“Okutama” spread her arms as she asked her question, so “Musashi” responded expressionlessly.

“I did know that. Over.”

In fact…

“Did you know this, ‘Okutama’? This is one of the few places where one can hold a meeting without Toori-sama interrupting. Over.”

“Eh? Is that so? …Oh, is that why ‘Musashino’ and the others sometimes gather here for a bridge crew meeting? Over.”

“Musashi” nodded.

“I am speaking with you here now primarily because I wanted to confidentially confirm the information about an ether disturbance and a mysterious phenomenon in Okutama’s underground so soon after yesterday’s events. Over.”

“Is Toori-sama that much of a nuisance? Over.”

“Musashi” did not immediately respond and she moved her right hand through the air. She produced a few Far Eastern sickles and began cutting the nearby grass.

“Yesterday, when we were discussing how we should support Asama-sama and the others outside, Toori-sama opened an ether supply path via the Asama Shrine. Over.”

“Wasn’t that only enough for a single person? Over.”

“Something and nothing. Zero and nonzero. The difference between the two is incomparable. Our only excuse is to say we determined everything would be fine because ‘Okutama’ was out there. …Toori-sama is a difficult person. If he does not visit here because he thinks the name carved here still exists, then…”

She looked to the flowers she had placed by the memorial.

“The fact that he reached the same conclusion as us is an extremely difficult thing. Helping humans is the automaton way of life, but how are we supposed to help someone who reaches the same conclusions as an automaton? …That is a difficult question. Over.”

“Musashi” then returned to the road.

“When I come here next should I polish the stone or should I allow it to grow mossy? I need to ask Sakai-sama for some advice. Now, ‘Okutama’, to continue what we were discussing before: If you can delay it this long, it should be perfectly possible to deal with the ether disturbance in your ship’s underground. So what will you do? Over.”

“Oh, judge. I plan to ask an expert in this field. Over.”

“An expert? Over.”

“Judge.” “Okutama” pointed toward the center of the ship. “The Asama Shrine. Over.”

A certain question plagued Naruze each and every time.

…Although I don’t think this is a question I’m supposed to ask.

“Why…?”

“Hm? What is it, Ga-chan?”

“Judge. …Why do we have to have our chest size measured?”

Curtains were hung up in the art room for use as the measuring room. Their height, weight, sitting height, etc. were measured here. More than one class was measured at once, so their Class Plum was here with Sanyou’s Class Bamboo.

Sanyou was in charge of taking measurements, but since that was too much to do on her own, she was focusing on measuring Class Bamboo’s sitting height while everyone measured each other and wrote down the results for the rest.

Class Plum let the girls of Class Bamboo get started while doing their best to control Kimi. Then Class Plum began measuring shortly thereafter.

But since the chest measurement required removing their top, everyone put it off until last. That was why Naruze and Naito had decided to get started first because it took longer for winged species. However…

“It bothers me.”

“Hm? Is your shirt or stole catching on your wings?”

To keep their wings out when wearing a track suit, they would generally remove the sleeves of the shirt and keep the back open.

She was used to that, so having her wings out was not going to bother her now.

Margot had to know that. The smile on her face was carefree, so she was obviously just trying to get Naruze to explain. So…

“No. …I don’t understand the purpose of measuring our chests.”

“Ho ho? For example?”

“I mean, it doesn’t make sense, does it? Even if I don’t mind, you have to feel sorry for people like Ade-…for some people.”

“Wh-what did you almost say just now!? I really didn’t like the sound of that!”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Naruze as she pulled out a cloth measuring tape from the cloth laid out on the work desk.

“What do we accomplish by measuring how big our boobs are?”

She saw Sanyou give her a thumb’s up from across the room, but she ignored it since that was too niche of a genre for use in a doujinshi. However…

“I mean, I would understand if it was measuring around your gut. There are some people who could die at any moment. Like Ohiroshiki.”

“Ohiroshiki-dono! Wh-why did you just fall to your knees while building the festival stand!?”

“I-I just felt some kind of Technohexen attack to my heart! To my heart! Th-there is only one cure: the smile of a girl aged ten or younger! Now, hurry! Hurry and bring her here!”

“You’re making me want to report you, so don’t say anything more.”

“You sure are cement-like, Nori-dono! Anyway, Toori-dono! Now is the time to crossdress into a girl age ten or younger!”

“Y-you can do that, Toori-kun!? You can make my dream come true!?”

“Hold on. Hold on, everyone. Give me a chance to hide my dick.”

“You sure destroyed my dream in a hurry!!”

“There are a fair number of the boys like that,” said Margot with a smile.

“Judge,” agreed Naruze. “They also measure our butts, but I don’t get that either. In Qing-Takeda, they have to look at the body’s ‘nature’, so they might have to check the size of their pelvises, but we’re the Far East. It’s completely meaningless to just have a giant ass like Asa-…like some people.”

“W-wait! You started to say something while looking at me, didn’t you!? Didn’t you!?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Naruze dodged the issue before continuing. “But the chest measurement is a true mystery. I thought the results would help with my drawings, but they wouldn’t tell them to me.”

“Well, that’s personal information.”

“Yeah, but I understand wanting something if it’ll help sell your product.”

It was nice to see the merchant was her usual self. But…

“We measure our lung capacity separately and we’re not doing an M.H.R.R. Hapsburg-style measurement to determine the likely quality of breast milk production in the future, so it’s completely pointless.”

“Ga-chan, Ga-chan.”

“What?”

“Judge.” Margot removed her collar and removed her side hard points as well. Then she used her arms and the dangling cloth to hide her exposed breasts. “Can’t you just think of it as an event that gives you an official excuse to touch the other person’s boobs?”

“Hmm.”

It was not like she was lacking in opportunities to touch Margot’s boobs, but…

“I guess you’re right.”

Maybe being able to diligently take measurements with the cloth measuring tape really was nice, especially since she would get measured by Margot afterwards.

And behind her…

“W-wait, Kimi! You just slammed the measurer down on my head while measuring my sitting height, didn’t you!?”

“Why complain when it gave you a shorter result?”

It was nice how lively they were.

Honestly, thought Mitotsudaira.

Her hair always became a problem when measuring her sitting height. Just like with a winged species, her hair would get in the way if she sat with her back to the measuring device. That meant she had to sit backwards, but Kimi was the one in charge of taking the measurements.

“C’mon, Mitotsudaira, move right up to the pole there. Good, good…your body fits real nicely up against it, doesn’t it?”

“Are you picking a fight with me!? You are, aren’t you!?”

She was holding the Cerberus in her hands for safety, but that left her with nothing to protect her from the measurer overhead.

Sitting height was surprisingly important. For fighters, that and the length of their legs determined the size of a lot of their equipment. And more than just inner suits and armor, it was true of handheld equipment too.

The length of your torso, the length of your arms, and the position of your joints influenced the weight balance of your weapon.

The longer your torso and arms, the greater your weapon’s reach and the higher the speed at its tip when you swung it. However, that also made it easier to damage your wrists and other joints.

The chest size that Naruze had been questioning was a factor when it came to inner suit size and material.

…Well, it’s not like either of them are going to join the Chancellor’s Officers…

The Chancellor’s Officers registered its members’ physical data so the Musashi could manage it. The automatons might order the equipment altered to match daily changes in their build.

That was not an issue for Mitotsudaira, though.

When she had her height measured just now, it had been a centimeter higher than last year, but that was within the margin of error. She remembered being fairly tall in the past, but she was now just a bit above average among the girls.

As for her sitting height…

“Oh, dear, Mitotsudaira! You’ve grown five centimeters since last year! You’re a real grower!!”

“What idiot places the measurer on top of my hair decoration!?”

Mitotsudaira ignored Naomasa’s rational tsukkomi of “then remove it” and tilted her head instead. That allowed the measurer onto the center of her head.

“…It’s the same as last year.”

“Could you not make that sound like such a disappointment?”

Kimi gave a quick nod and let go of the measurer.

Her hair lifted the measurer up a bit.

Seeing that…

“…”

Kimi lowered the measurer again.

And she let go of it again.

“…”

She lowered it.

And let go.

It sprang up again.

She lowered it.

“Stop playing with my hair!!”

“Wait, Mitotsudaira. Strip off your tights. I didn’t check before if you have such incredible hair down there.”

“Just so you know, Loup-Garous and other quadrupedal beastmen have soft hair on their belly side.”

“Time out.”

Kimi touched the hair on the back of Mitotsudaira’s head and then the hair on the front. She touched them twice. And…

“Amazing!”

She called Adele over. Kimi whispered in her ear and Adele nodded a little before touching her hair too.

“That is amazing!”

They called Asama over.

“That’s amazing…!”

It isn’t that impressive, thought Mitotsudaira, but then Kimi touched her bangs again. And…

“So your so-called ‘lower field’ is this hard…!”

“The hair on my head is mostly the same as the back-side hair, even on the forehead!! And what are you saying is so amazing!?”

“Oh.” Asama clapped her hands together with a smile. “Hee hee. That’s right, isn’t it? If it was like this, you wouldn’t be able to wear anything down there, would you?”

“Tomo, please spare me one of your usual inept attempts at helping…”

“But isn’t that great, Mitotsudaira?”

Mitotsudaira warily looked up at Kimi. She matched the tilt of the head made by the Cerberus in her hands.

“What is great?”

“Well. I was just about to give my foolish brother some inaccurate information.”

“Wh-what!? Please don’t give him any weird information!”

“Um, Extra Special Duty Officer, are you saying it would be okay if the information were accurate?”

She turned to face Adele and Adele stepped back with a shriek. The look in her eyes must have been quite sharp.

She had to calm down. At any rate, she stepped away from the measuring device.

“Hurry up and measure my chest, Kimi.”

“Very well. Here, raise your arms…ah! What is this!? There must be something wrong with this measuring tape, Mitotsudaira! This says you’ve grown fifteen centimeters since last year!”

“I haven’t removed my top yet and I still have the side hard point parts on!”

“Then hurry up and strip. Come here, Troiko~”

“I am not giving you him.”

With the sitting height done, the Cerberus was back in its spot on her head.

And…

“…!”

The Cerberus barked at Kimi.

Feeling like she really was the Cerberus’s master, Mitotsudaira removed her side parts and removed the shirt collar from her neck. Even if she did not remove her top, she just had to allow the measuring tape around her sides.

“All done, Kimi.”

“Okay.”

And as soon as Kimi casually wrapped the cloth measuring tape around…

“Kh.”

It tightened down enough to force the air from her lungs. And once it loosened…

“Um… Oh, dear. I would feel bad reading off this number.”

“Y-you just tightened it so much it dug in, didn’t you!? That would have measured my skeleton more than anything! Besides, there’s no way I’ve shrunk by seven centimeters since last year!”

“The body is a mysterious thing.”

She wanted to flip over the work table, but she restrained herself.

In front of her, Kimi started playing around by tangling the measuring tape around herself, but then her face suddenly grew deadly serious.

“Mitotsudaira.”

“What?”

“Judge. Listen. The regulations technically allow you to be measured with your inner suit on. There are some people who find the measuring tape too dirty to be measured bare. Then there are those like Asama who are so large that merely wrapping the measuring tape around changes their shape, so they need to be held in place by something to get an accurate result.”

“Wh-what are you talking about, Kimi!? I do it bare! I always do it bare!”

Naruze had a sudden and explosive nosebleed and Sanyou noticed.

“U-um, all of you! Naruze-san is having trouble!”

“Eh?”

Naito, Asama, and Kimi turned around and Sanyou’s face clouded over upon seeing their breasts.

And Sanyou came to a stop.

“Y-yes…”

“S-Sensei!” said Mitotsudaira. “Why does that sudden depression seem awfully familiar!?”

“Oh, yes. If anything, you’re just like me, Mitotsudaira-san… And I was just about to feel all alone. Oh, and Adele-san is here too. …Although Adele-san is even more…yes.”

“Calm down! Calm down, Sensei! Don’t forget your original objective!!”

“And, Sensei! What was that deep nod for when you looked at me!?”

Sanyou sat in her chair, held her knees together, and stared at the curtains covering the window. The way she would occasionally rock back and forth seemed dangerous, but there was nothing to do but leave her be.

That meant Sanyou was useless, but they managed to heal Naruze relatively quickly. Naito immediately used a spell and Asama used some purification to tune away the blood. After that…

“So what was that about inner suits, Kimi?”

“Why not wear yours while you get measured?”

“What good is that kind of vanity now?”

“Then I’ll measure them bare, but use a lewd method.”

The idiot sister touched her breasts with somewhat cold hands.

“Nn.”

“Heh heh. Looks like you enjoyed that. You reacted nicely. …Now I’ll take the top measurement.”

“W-wait just a second! That is a biological reaction!”

“Yeah, that does tend to happen with the measuring tape tickling them. …Oh, Ga-chan, you’re bleeding all over the place again. Want to take a break?”

The Technohexen seemed to be having trouble too. But…

…Eh?

Kimi narrowed her eyes, began humming, and pulled the cloth measuring tape to either side as if to cross between her hands and chest. It was almost like she was moving to embrace Mitotsudaira.

“Take this. Secret Technique: Hug Measurement…!”

Asama ignored Mitotsudaira’s muffled scream and placed the measuring tape on Suzu’s body.

She worked at measuring while feeling the cloth loosen and tighten from Suzu’s anxious breaths.

“Suzu-san, you’ve grown taller since last year. …And your sitting height hasn’t changed, so you’re just getting cooler and cooler.”

“Th-thank…you. B-but…” Suzu lifted her shirt collar back into place and blushed. “It’s still not…as much as you or…Kimi-chan.”

“Hee hee. Just make sure you get plenty to eat and you’ll be fine.”

“Th-then do I have no hope at all!?” shouted Adele. “That means my impoverished lifestyle can’t get me a sexy adult body!”

“Adele, shouting something like that will do direct damage to Sanyou-sensei who uses her salary to eat properly.”

Sanyou’s upper body had collapsed onto the table and she had started singing a strange “loo loo loo” song, but they ignored her. However, Kimi tilted her head.

“Asama, doesn’t that mean there are some cases where eating properly isn’t enough?”

“But there’s no hope if you don’t eat properly.”

“Th-then I’m completely hopeless!?”

Asama was starting to feel like everything she said would cause some kind of problem. So…

“I think worrying about it will only make them smaller. Due to the stress and wasted stamina.”

“Oh, you have a point.”

Adele quieted down, so Asama finished measuring Suzu. Her waist is…ohh, quite slim! And her hips…ah, she’s got a fair bit there.

“W-well…?”

“You’re very feminine. In a few more years, you’ll be turning a lot of heads.”

“R-really…?”

“Judge,” confirmed Asama before having Suzu measure her. Suzu used a large measuring tape because the scale was printed such that Suzu could read it with her fingers.

Asama laughed a little at the ticklishness and the odd sense of calm at having a trustworthy person lightly restraining her like this.

“Ah, laugh and…y-you’ll have a…bigger result.”

Adele suddenly started laughing at the top of her lungs, earning her a karate chop from Naomasa’s prosthetic arm.

But, thought Asama as she belatedly focused on her recent life. With the Gagaku Festival, the band, and the Hidden Dragon slaying, there was a lot going on, but…

…I’m glad everyone’s the same as ever.

Then Suzu started making oddly quizzical breaths behind her while loosening and tightening the measuring tape.

I wonder why? thought Asama as some more of the ticklish sensation arrived.

“Suzu-san? Um, what is it?”

“Eh? U-um…”

Suzu retightened the measuring tape, causing it to press against the front of Asama’s chest.

“Just a…slightly different angle…makes a l-large…difference. Wh-what do I do? …Sh-should I lift them…up? Or should I…bind them…horizontally?”

“U-umm…” Asama asked Suzu a question. “H-how did we do it last year?”

“Heh heh. There was too much of a commotion to do the measuring last year, so we finished it up real quick with a spell,” said Kimi. “But we wanted some proper measurements afterwards, so you, Mitotsudaira, and I did each other at your house while having a snack party.”

“You did each other…!”

Naruze fell to her knees, but they just left her there.

“Tomo’s breasts are so big that you have to worry about their weight and softness, so the angle can change their shape quite a bit…”

Unsurprisingly, the girl who groped them was knowledgeable on the subject. And in that case…

“Just measure along the top line.”

“Okay,” said as Suzu as she started measuring, but Kimi smiled bitterly.

“It’s because you have a solid core, but you’re soft on the outside.”

“Let’s not link our personalities to our body types.”

Asama said that with a bitter smile of her own, but Naruze tilted her head after recovering.

“On that subject, why is one end of the spectrum ‘flat’ and the other ‘large’?”

“Eh?”

Everyone fell silent. But…

…That is a good question.

“Do you not know, Naruze? I would think you use those terms a lot in your doujinshis.”

“You must not read them much. In the things I draw, the measurements tend to be on a spectrum from ‘long’ to ‘short’!”

“Wow, now I really want to report you.”

Kimi then looked to Naruze and tilted her head.

“I read one that my foolish brother had before. You’re referring to hair length, aren’t you?”

Hearing that, Asama thought for a bit. And she realized what this conversation must have meant.

“…Eh?”

That syllable of confusion caused everyone to glare at her. So…

“Y-yes, hair! Of course we were talking about hair! I totally knew that! No need to doubt me! Ah ha ha ha!”

“Heh heh heh. You just don’t know when to give up, do you? But let’s just leave it at that. …Oh.”

“Eh?”

“It seems we have a visitor.”

When Kimi said that with another tilt of her head, everyone covered their chests and closed their tops before looking to the entrance.

The door slid open and someone stuck their head in to look around.

“Hey, are Asama and the others here? …Huh? Mitsuki, what are you doing?”

It was Oriotorai. And once she spotted Asama…

“Oh, there you are. Could you quit measuring, grab a few other people, and come on out?”

“Huh? What for?”

“Judge. An official request from the Asama Shrine should be coming in soon, but a mysterious phenomenon has shown up underground here. They apparently want you to purify it. Okay?”

Oriotorai held up her right hand to beg her.

“I’ll be heading down to move everyone out of the gym, so can you do that?”