Eleven: Empty Sorrow

I didn't bother putting my boots back on, I simply walked back to the oasis with them in hand. We were all somber, trying to shake the ghosts of our past as we silently trailed behind Kai. But more than the ghosts we left behind, the sorrow seemed to come from another place, a lingering effect of the Mist walker. At least we were able to find our trail back, since the stars above were still veiled in settling dust.

The oasis was a welcome sight. Puko was already recovered from his fright, and the first thing he did when I returned was to come inspect me. He landed on my shoulder and pulled at my hair in the same way he preened his feathers.

"Caw!"

I shook my head and he stopped tugging at my hair, flying over to inspect Nassir next. Schula reached out and took my hand, a welcome coolness of her touch and I gave her a strained smile.

"Come on, food will do you all some good." Kai urged us to sit around the stew he had made, which by now was well done and cooling off since the fire had long since gone out. My mouth dried, I didn't particularly feel like eating anything but it would probably be best to listen to Kai.

"So, that was the Mist walker," Kai sighed. "I wondered how much truth there was to her story."

"Why..." I swallowed, my throat tight. "Why didn't she ensnare you in her trap?"

Kai sat down, beginning to ladle out food while he mulled it over. "Maybe she was occupied with you three, maybe there wasn't a ghost to taunt me with. I've come to peace with my dead loved ones a long time ago."

I hung my head. I thought I had come to peace with Bryn but I probably hadn't. Not really.

After our food was handed out, Kai dug through his bag and pulled out a jar of seeds. I ate slowly, forcing it down as I watched Kai work. "What are you doing?"

Kai looked up at me as he moved the cooking pot off the fire and poured some of the seeds in it, building the flame back up. "This is a special smoke, a present from a shaman I know. Breathe it in and let all your sad out to lift the bad aoyi'ka magic.

I raised my eyebrows and looked down into the fire where Kai sprinkled the seed-like things. The smoke darkened in color and smelled slightly sweet. When he was done, Kai wiped the dust from his hands and looked at the three of us. "Go on, talk it all out. Grieve, but let go when you're done."

I shivered as I sensed a light touch of magic in the smoke. It didn't seem very forceful and it didn't seem to have any sort of intent. It was just... there.

"I'm sorry, Nassir," Schula whispered. I looked over at them as Schula reached over and rubbed his back in slow circles with her hand.

Nassir sighed and smiled. "I suppose you can't get over a loss like that so easily."

My chest hurt. My mother. I felt endlessly guilty that something in me made the Mist walker show me Bryn over my mother. It was frustrating, I wasn't sure if I should be upset or not, or if the Mist walker simply chose a good candidate at random to ensnare me with.

"Do you miss him?" Schula asked softly. I looked up to answer, but I was surprised to see she was still addressing Nassir.

"Sometimes. It gets easier with the distance," Nassir said.

I bit my tongue, ashamed. Nassir had lost everything. Part of his triquetram was dead, and the other part hated him and wanted to keep him trapped. Schula, bless her, reached over and held my hand.

"And you, Wren. Was that Bryn?" She gave me an encouraging smile.

I nodded. "Yeah, that was him."

"I didn't get a good look at him, but he seemed so calm and happy." She squeezed my hand and I gave her a small smile.

"Yes, that was Bryn. Calm and somehow still loud. Smiling, and so kind." I sighed through my nose and looked Schula in the eye. "And what about you? Was that a sprite? She was beautiful."

Schula's mouth formed a grim line. "Yes, she was."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nassir asked gently.

Schula shook her head. "I don't know if I'm ready."

"Let it out," Kai said. "Or the smoke can't help you."

Schula sighed, looking into the small fire with it's dark, sweet smoke.

"Her name was Darya." Schula blinked away a tear. "And... she was my first friend in the Autumn lands. She... she died young."

"I'm sorry, Schula," I whispered.

Kai let us sit in reflective silence for a while. We sat in thought as the moon glided across the sand-veiled sky, we sat as the fire and smoke stopped. Kai grunted and stood up, waving a palm leaf to dissipate the last of the smoke as he spoke. "Out and away, out and away, lift the spirits out and away."

I yawned and stretched my limbs, realizing that I really did feel better. Looking at Schula and Nassir, it would seem they did too. Puko was sitting on Nassir's knee, having his feathers stroked. Kai was picking up the dishes from the long-gone stew.

"Now, a sandstorm, an evil aoyi'ka, this is turning out to be a little too eventful of a trip for me," Kai grumbled, then looked at the sky. "The good news is, I think we can move on tomorrow night."

"Do you think we can make up for our lost time?" Schula asked.

"We can if we stop running into things," Kai snorted a laugh. "Not much we can do about it tonight though. You and Wren, why don't you two clean up? It might do you some good. Go to the other side of the water for some privacy, I'll stay here with Nassir."

The stars overhead and the filling moon were more than enough light to bathe by. "Yes, that sounds wonderful."

"Kai, would you be willing to discuss the effects of the nomad-based lifestyle on the eating habbits of the desert tribes? I was also wondering about the origin of the art style among woven items such as baskets and mats. Do they differ between tribes, and do they differ widely from the ones found in Sulls or is it more of an issue of a shared origin in the desert with branching alterations?" Nassir laid back onto the sand, stretching out his long limbs and disturbing Puko momentarily.

"Slow down there, big guy," Kai smirked. "Sure, Nassir. I can try to answer those things at least."

"Let Kai take breaths in between questions, Nassir," Schula teased.

"Perhaps," Nassir smiled. "We will see."

I shook my head as we walked to the far side of the oasis. The sand was much cooler since the sun was partly covered during the day. Normally it would still be warm from the hot sun, but it was cool on my bare feet tonight and I was enjoying it.

Schula was the first to peel off a boot and stick a foot in the water.

"Ooh, this feels nice," she murmured.

I didn't need more of an invitation than that.

I was happy to strip off my clothes, tossing them aside and slipping into the water. It was still barely warm from the hot days in the sands, but it felt good. It almost reminded me of the fantastic bathtubs I had grown accustomed to in Thanantholl.

Schula sighed as she sank down next to me. We sat on a flat rock that was half buried in the sand and had just enough space on it for two. She rested her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm so glad that ordeal is over," Schula said.

I sighed through my nose and looked up, trying to see the stars through the dust. "In a weird way, it was nice to see Bryn again."

"I'm sorry," Schula said softly.

"Its just... I never got to say goodbye." I cleared my throat. "I was so close to giving into her too, if it weren't for Kai I might have."

"Me too," she whispered.

I reached up to stroke her head. "I'm glad you didn't leave me."

She gave me a breathy laugh, "Never."

"Do you want to talk about it more?" I asked. "I want to know everything about you. When you're ready, of course."

She went quiet for a few moments. I let her have her silence.

"No, not yet," she said. "I'm not quite ready."

I nodded and sat up. Schula took her head off my shoulder and watched me.

"Turn around, I'll get your back."

She complied, pulling her braid in front of her as she began to undo it. I scrubbed her back and combed my fingers through her hair, helping with any knots we found when a thought crossed my mind.

"Schula, I was wondering, does the heat not bother you? Since you're so... with the ice and all..." I sighed. "I'm not sure how to ask what I'm trying to ask."

Schula laughed, finishing the last bit of her hair. "No, I understand the question. I guess the cold doesn't bother me because I'm made of cold things. And the hot doesn't bother me because I can just keep myself cool."

"Must be nice, being a fae," I grumbled. "It's so hot out here."

Schula giggled. "I like you how you are, even if you aren't a fae."

I nudged her shoulder with mine and she grinned. "Come on, your turn."

After that, she turned me around and washed my back. We sat peacefully as I washed and then began the daunting task of my wild hair. Once it was out of the braids, there was no going back. Schula took one side, and I took the other. As Schula began trying to sort out my wild hair, she paused.

"Her name was Darya." Schula spoke softly, as though speaking too loudly would make the words real. "I loved her deeply. She was my first friend in the Autumn lands, and ultimately why I chose to pledge myself to King Baeleon."

"Oh," I breathed. "I'm sorry.

"She was the sister of my heart. We liked the same wine and music and clothes. And she was the first one to welcome me with open arms, despite where I came from and the circumstances of my birth. Everyone was too afraid of the consequences from DuVarick, but not Darya. She was the first one to take me dancing too. Even Caldon never could get me to try it." She laughed softly. "And now look at me. You can't get me off the ballroom floor."

I reached out and held her hand, wiping away a falling tear with another.

"Darya is also how I met Thain and Eberon. She was... she was their third."

I squeezed her hand as my throat tightened. The third of Thain's triquetram. The one he never spoke of. The one who died in the plague. The plague that I survived.

"I'll let Thain tell you about her from their end. It's not my place. But for me, she was the first real and true friend I found after I left Icehold." Schula reached up and brushed a strand of hair off of my forehead. "Let's finish up your hair, I'd like to try a new braid on you, if you'll let me."

I knew she was changing the subject, but I let it happen. She was obviously done with the subject for now. "I suppose that would be fine. What are you thinking of trying?"

"Well," she started. "Do you still hide your ears behind braids for a reason?"

I thought about it a moment before I answered. "No, it's just a habit at this point. It's the only way I've ever worn my hair."

"Would you like to try to wear it like I do?" She asked. "I think your ears are cute, you should show them off now that you finally have them."

I reached up to brush my fingers along the still-foreign tips. "Okay, let's try it."

"And here..." She raised a hand to her own ears, pulling one of her decorative silver cuffs off and settling it on my ear. "There, now we can match."

I smiled, leaning into her. Darya may have been the sister of Schula's heart, but Schula was the sister of mine. "Thank you, Schula."

"Any time." She tugged on a lock of my hair. "Now, let's get back to work. If we don't hurry we could be at this until sunrise."

I laughed as we began to untangle my messy hair.

The Mist walker was gone, and whatever else was out there, we would face it together.