Thayer's voice had the equal effect of making Gigi's heart soar and a pit to form in the base of her stomach. Raif caught the flashes of emotion before she turned away from him.
When her eyes met Thayer's, she couldn't control anything. All her thoughts and emotions were on full display. In return, he lowered his own calm mask. She saw the same conflicting feelings that were battling it out in her chest.
He bowed and held out a hand. Woodenly, Gigi curtsied and accepted. With a familiarity that made her heart ache, he took her into his arms. Despite the hundreds of eyes watching them, he pulled her closer. Gigi breathed in, filling her nose with the scent of soap and the hint of wine. Eyes were drawn to them, the effect of Gigi's dress and Thayer's cape making them look like two gold ribbons intertwining. Couples spun and twirled around them, but neither of them noticed. They only had thoughts for each other.
Gigi stared into Thayer's brown eyes, memorizing the flecks of gold hidden in the irises. She bottled up the image of his face, the way his eyebrows could easily express doubt as well as amusement. The slope of his nose and how it told a story of a fight long ago in its slight crooked position. His lips. How even seeing them now stirred the memory of him kissing her. How it could make her flush at the thoughts of his hands holding onto her tightly as if she were the only real thing in his world.
Gigi collected all these small aspects of his face and stored them away.
"I never told you before," Thayer said, his voice low. "But your eyes remind me of the ocean, right as the sun is rising."
Gigi felt herself leaning closer to him, wanting to hold onto the deep timbre of his voice.
"Do you often find yourself staring at the sea in the early morning?"
"Yes, it is when I have no one watching me. No one asking anything of me. It is the time feel truly alone."
"My eyes remind you of being alone?"
"No, they remind me of peace. Of freedom." His lips curled in a wry smile, his eyes sad. "I now fear the ocean shall remind me of you."
Gigi's throat tightened, her emotions clawing at her vocal cords, strangling them to say something. Say anything. Make a promise that would keep her in reach even if it meant she would be at arm's length.
Whatever words Gigi would have found were never spoken. The song finished, sending them back into reality.
"Your Highness," a voice said behind Thayer.
Everly looked poised as ever, but there was steel in her eyes when they met Gigi's. It was a silent reminder that the arms around her belonged to someone else.
Thayer took a step back, his face unreadable once more. Taking Gigi's hand, he gave a half bow over it.
"A pleasure dancing with you, my Lady," he said.
Gigi ducked her head. "Likewise, my Prince."
Before Thayer let go, he squeezed her hand just once. The small gesture pulled at Gigi's heart. Swallowing, she turned away, unable to bare his passive face and Everly's accusing gaze. She had barely retreated when Davin appeared before her. The drink had dampened his pain, but Gigi could still see it there, simmering beneath.
"I am to offer you a dance, Lady," he said, sounding weary.
"If that is so then I assume it is required of me to accept."
"Afraid so."
With a carelessness that would have offended any other girl, Davin wrapped a hand around her waist and took her hand. The music had begun again and they fell into the carousel of dancers. Even with a few glasses in him, Davin moved with control. It was a deception to the feelings Gigi sensed rolling off him.
"There is nothing I can say, is there?" she said.
"I believe you have already said it all. And my choice has been made for me."
Cold anger crept up Gigi's arms.
"You have struck me as a good many things, Davin but a coward was never one of them."
The comment made him falter. As if expecting it Gigi easily stepped away, avoiding having her toes trodden on. Davin's eyes held onto hers, the word 'coward' ringing in his ears.
"You think you have lived differently from all these people, but really you have hidden away and let them dictate your life."
Her voice was not harsh but her expression dared him to contradict her. For once Davin had no response. His eyes were frozen in surprise. The song ended and Gigi moved away from him.
"Don't waste a chance that is a gift so few are given." She curtsied. "Thank you for the dance."
She left Davin rooted to the ground, her words conquering his mind. With a determined step, Gigi cut through the ballroom looking for one person. Raif was talking to a white-bearded man when she approached. The elderly man spotted her first and nodded in greeting. Raif turned.
"It appears," she said, "that since I so rudely treated you the previous night that I should offer you more than one dance to atone for my actions."
"You are a generous Lady to say so." He looked to his companion. "Excuse me, Lord Sutherland."
The man ducked his head obligingly. Raif led Gigi back to the sea of spinning figures and joined them.
"How many dances are you offering in recompense?" he asked, as they fell under the music's rhythm.
In that moment Gigi realized she no longer cared about the whispers that bared her name.
"All of them," she said. "Steal me away."
"Your wish is my command."
As if taking the words to heart, Raif eased her closer, his hand a steadiness Gigi felt her jumbled heart craving. They danced without ceasing. Without caring of the words that it stirred up. Without thought of whose eyes followed them. She was aware of nothing but Raif's arms around her, a shield against all her worry.
By the time the ball was drawing to a close, Gigi's feet hurt and she hoped the soreness would dull her to the other pain that consumed her heart. The music stopped and Gigi held onto Raif's arm, needing something to support her. When Thayer walked up to the top of the stairs, she tightened her hold on Raif's arm knowing what was to follow. He looked at her curiously.
"I could use some air," she said.
Raif's eyes darted to Thayer but he made no comment and escorted her out of the palace. The balcony was empty everyone inside, waiting to hear Thayer's parting words. In silence, they entered the grounds and moved along the sweet-smelling deserted paths. The quiet toyed with Gigi's nerves, as her mind was stuck back in the ballroom.
"Tell me something," she said, suddenly. "Tell me of your adventures."
She tried to make the request sound natural but wasn't sure she had succeeded. Nevertheless, Raif talked. Gigi forced herself to listen to each word, though what he said made no impact on her. The more he talked the more her brain was able to tune out his words and replace them with the ones she imagined Thayer saying.
"Lords and Ladies. I wish to share my gratitude over your presence this season. It is always a pleasure reacquainting with old friends and meeting new ones. Thank you for joining us to celebrate the start of a new season and a new year. As this time is about new beginnings I would like to announce a new beginning of my own. I have had the honor of asking Lady Everly to..."
Gigi's heart screamed at words she wasn't hearing but could feel being spoken. Hurting, she turned on Raif, a wild need to forget everything, to stop thinking burning her.
"Kiss me," she said.
Raif looked at her, surprised. In her eyes, he saw desperation he knew had nothing to do with him.
"If you wish it," he said.
Gigi nodded, unable to speak. He took a step closer and cupped her face. His hands were rough but gentle. He kissed her slowly as if quietly asking her if this was what she wanted. In response, Gigi took hold of his coat and pulled him against her. Raif was quick to understand and deepened the kiss. Gigi willed his lips to banish all thoughts from her mind. Willed that his hands on her neck and in her hair be enough to stop the aching in her chest.
But it wasn't enough. As she kissed Raif harder all she could imagine was Thayer. The way he had kissed her. Like it was the last time. Knowing it was the last time.
When the need to breathe became too strong, Gigi broke away. She gasped and bent her head, feeling worse than before. Tears stung the back of her eyes and she shut them, willing them to go away. Raif tenderly lifted her chin with his fingers.
"This is the first time I have failed to distract a woman from her thoughts," he said. "And the one time I wish to do simply that."
A worn out tear escaped and he brushed it away with his thumb.
"I do not believe I have ever felt as deeply as you do now."
"It is not something to wish for," she said, despondent.
*************
Gigi lay in the comfort of her bed unable to sleep. The room was pitch black and not a sound could be heard from the palace. Her thoughts for once were silent, drowned out by the exhaustion of her emotions. Despite the fatigue that hung from her, she couldn't find sleep. She stared, unseeing at the wall. Not knowing what to do, but knowing she could not bear the darkness and the silence any longer, she rose.
As she moved to the door, she slid on her robe and wrapped the silken folds around her. The corridor was bare and her footsteps made little sound on the thick carpeting. Like a ghost, she walked through the palace and out into the night. The full moon was sliding towards the horizon, the bright orange glow illuminating the grounds. She had encountered no one but could see silhouettes of guards on the palace walls.
The moment her feet touched the grass she felt herself reviving. She ventured further into the gardens. Her mind listless, her feet guided her. As if pulled by an invisible tether, she stopped before the same fountain she always found herself at. The water bubbled and spilled over, the sound soothing in the still night. Gigi wrapped the robe tighter around her, hugging herself.
When she heard the faint patter of footsteps she made no move to leave or hide.
She was past caring.
Her heart hurt too much from caring.
The sound paused for a brief moment before continuing and stopping beside her. Gigi didn't look but knew by the way her heart leapt who was standing there.
Thayer didn't say anything, his hands firmly held inside his pockets. He surveyed the fountain as if it held all the answers to his problems. When the urge to reach for him got almost too unbearable, she glanced at him. Something in her made her look down. He was barefoot. That sight made her want to laugh, cry and kiss him. Instead, she looked away, reining in her desires, knowing he was not hers to kiss.
"Don't look now, my Prince, but you appear to have lost your shoes."
Thayer looked down as if her words brought this to his attention.
"I did not want to feel overdressed," he said to her.
His words produced a smile from her. The truth of the matter was he was still in the suit he had worn for the ball, though the cape and jacket had been removed and his sleeves were pushed up. Even the top two buttons of his shirt were undone. Gigi tried not to love the way he looked.
She failed.
"What brought you here?" she asked.
"I could not sleep...And I saw you walking out in the grounds. I hope you do not mind me intruding on your solitude."
Gigi shook her head, afraid that if she spoke she would give away exactly how much she didn't mind his presence and more.
"Good."
They settled back into silence, too many thoughts that couldn't be said hovering between them. Thayer brushed a foot along the ground, words gathering in his throat. His gaze flickered to Gigi and away again. Finally, he spoke.
"You are going to return to your family?"
Gigi dropped her head. "Yes."
He nodded. "Of course. I know you do not want to stay here."
"Even if I did my grandparents wish me to marry Davin."
"As my parents wish me to marry Everly."
"She is a well mannered Lady."
"So people feel inclined to tell me." Thayer paused and looked as if he had more to say but the words never made it out.
After a tense minute, he spoke, but not the words he wanted to say.
"I will say goodnight, my Lady," he said, taking her hand.
His fingers were warm and held onto hers as if it was the most precious thing he had known. He gave a small bow, his lips brushing the back of it. The action sent sparks flying through Gigi's body.
When he met her gaze again there was a defeated look in his eyes. But beyond that was a wild expression as if he kissed her right then he would say or do anything she asked. Go anywhere with her.
Gigi almost kissed him just to pull that wildness out.
But she held herself back, knowing she had no right to steal the Kingdom's Prince away. Not when she knew the kind of King he would make.
At that thought, her bruised heart pulled away from him.
"Goodnight, my Prince," she said.
At the title so lovingly spoke, Thayer's fingers tightened. He stood waging a battle between his duty and his emotions. Seeing his struggle, Gigi slipped her hands free, knowing where he belonged.
With a stiff nod, Thayer left, forcing himself to put one foot before the other. Gigi watched him go hating how her heart hummed at the sight of his bare feet.
**********************************************************************
Daring dancing lords and ladies! ð
*peeks out from behind desk* So...are you still mad at Raif or has that rage now transferred to me cause Gigi and Thayer will be separated forever??
Gosh you have no idea how nervous I've been about this chapter, I mean some of you really really hate Raif and so I feared what you would think. And honestly, I get it. So...what are you thinking right now?
As for Thigi...Well, we knew this was happening right! And Davin failed and didn't tell Everly so she will be fine accepting Thayer and he has a duty to his kingdom and Gigi just wants to go home and oh gosh why is the world falling apart!!! *drops head* I don't even know what to feel anymore. ð *walks into corner and stares at the wall*
Well, since I've gone into a downward spiral how about a distraction! Let's play: Two truths and a lie! Go!
Another distraction, favorite male character of all time? (Also let me know what book he is from.)
Mine is Kaz Brekker from Six of Crows cause he's complex, ruthless but still loves.
Also heads up, there are only four more chapters left plus and epilogue. I'm really sorry that this book is shorter than the rest.
Before you go bury your sadness in ice cream vote, comment, follow!