Chapter 29: Our Secret Moments: Chapter 29

THE DAY after Thanksgiving is always my favourite. It’s the quiet in the air after a chaotic few days. It’s the Bailey’s lodge with an abundance of food that you know will never run out. It’s the large fireplace in the living room that is always radiating warmth. It’s the looks Connor keeps giving me from across the room as we pass each other in the house.

Today is a day for relaxing, stuffing ourselves with more food and cake and playing board games.

As mean as it is to admit, I’m glad my dad isn’t here. It wouldn’t feel right. Most times we’ve attempted to get together with the Bailey’s, the night ends in some sort of argument that my dad usually starts. Since he tried to make me feel bad about not spending the day with him after he was the one who cancelled on me, I’m waiting until Christmas to have a real conversation with him. It’s like having a moody teenager as a parent.

Speaking of moody teenagers….

After more complaining from Nora this morning as the soreness from the hike kicked in, we bundled up in our winter clothes and made huge mugs of hot chocolate, settling on the porch swing. The air is freezing, but being snuggled up next to my best friend and thick gloves around my hands, overlooking the leafy forest, it’s one-hundred-percent worth it.

“Is it time?” Nora asks me, hauntingly, pulling her phone out of her pocket. She has a habit of making the tiniest things into blockbusters.

“It is time,” I reply, nudging her shoulder. She giggles, searching for Elle’s contact.

Living with the girls has given us some real attachment issues. When we’re separated for more than two days, I swear our bodies start to decompose. I’ve spent nearly every day of my life with them for the last eleven years, so it’s been hard having Elle away from us at her parents house. She’s been avoiding seeing them for months, and we know that being with her moms has probably stressed her out. Both of our signals are weak, so we tried to schedule a time where we could talk without the risk of the phone shutting off.

Elle picks up on the fourth ring, her tanned face filling the screen, her curly hair tied up into a ballet bun. Her cheeks are  red, her lips a glossy pink colour and her dimples are popping out. Our Eleanor in a nutshell.

“Hi, guys! I miss you,” she says immediately, pouting. Nora already tries to fight me to fit us both on the screen, but I push her arm up and aim it a bit higher so she can see us both better.

“We miss you too,” I reply, glancing over at Nor as she nods. “How are things in Wonderland?”

Even though Elle’s moms only have two kids, Elle and her little brother Mason, they have the biggest house I have ever seen. It comprises of at least four separate buildings and three storeys. We got banned from catching the bus to their side of town as kids because we would spend all day up there playing hide and seek and one time we accidentally lost Mason when he was a toddler and Annie and Phoebe banned us. It was fun while it lasted.

Elle sighs, looking off behind her phone and then back to us. “It’s fine, I guess. Mason has a new bit this year since my mom got him an iPhone for his birthday. So, now whenever we’re out he films us and pretends we’re wild animals.”

Nora snorts. “That kid is so funny.”

“He’s a menace is what he is,” Elle mumbles, rolling her eyes. “How’s everything up there? I bet Emma’s been on Connor’s case again with the resolutions.”

“How did you figure that one out,” Nora replies, muttering angrily.

It’s common knowledge that Connor has problems with talking about things that aren’t to do with football, but he’s working on it. I promised I would help him, and after this break, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. He’s improved a lot since the first disaster at my dorm, so the progress is slow, but still moving.

I nudge Nora in the arm. “Did you tell your moms about the Christmas recital?”

Elle shakes her head. “Not yet. I’m going to wait–” The sound of Annie and Phoebe’s shrill voices take over Elle’s voice and the screen too. Both of their eyes widen when they see Nora and I, smiling wide as they wave erratically.

“Hi girls! You look so grown up.” Annie greets, still waving. Nora and I are laughing so hard at the fact that Elle has now momentarily disappeared from the screen as her moms take over. “I miss your wikkle faces.”

“You’re going to wait for what?” Phoebe asks Elle and I hardly get to hear the conversation before she quickly says goodbye and ends the call. That girl hides a lot from her parents, which I understand. They’re extremely protective over her, especially after her accident last year which she’s still technically in rehab for.

“Well,” Nora says, getting up from the swing. “I guess that’s our cue to get ready for dinner and board games.”

“I guess it’s time for you to get ready to get your ass beat,” I retort, following her into the warm comfort of the house. She turns back to me, narrowing her eyes as she walks backwards.

“That was one time and I wasn’t even paying attention,” she argues.

“If I remember correctly, you were involved in a very heated conversation with your dad. Wes had to talk you down from a ledge when you were sulking all evening,” I challenge. She just rolls her eyes at me and turns back around, walking the right way. I giggle as I catch up with her, slinging my arm around her shoulder. “It’s okay, Nor-Nor. I promise I’ll go easy on you.”

“Whatever,” she groans through a laugh, pushing me away from her as we make our way into the kitchen. I move over to the window, placing our now empty hot cocoa mugs into the sink and I notice Connor sitting by himself on the bench at the side of the house.

What is he doing on his own? And how do I get to him without making it obvious. We’re supposed to be getting ready to eat and play board games in five minutes, but something is tugging at me to know what is going on in his brain right now.

“Don’t you think Connor’s been acting weird recently?” Nora’s voice startles me and I almost let the mug slip through my hands. I turn to her, resting my back against the sink.

“What do you mean?” I ask shakily. She shrugs, pulling open one of the drawers filled with snacks.

“I dunno. He’s always been uptight. We know that. But recently… I don’t know. Other than that slip up yesterday, he’s been more chill than usual,” she explains, sighing. “Maybe it was you.”

I almost choke on air. I clear my throat, trying to play it out. “What?”

“You know, with the thing you’re doing for the team,” she replies and I sigh. I need to work on keeping my cool around her whenever she talks about Connor. It’s not a good look. “Honestly, props to you. That team is a nightmare.”

“Tell me about it,” I mutter, although I know she’s only partly right.

As much as they irritate me and can be a handful, I love them all so much. They’re chaotic and loud, but the main thing is they care about each other and their sport. They’re dedicated regardless of the jokes they play and with the games I’ve watched them win, they’ve proved that more than once.

“This game is rigged. I’m not playing anymore,” Nora sighs, sulking back in her chair.

We’ve been huddled around the dining room table for the last hour after eating our dinner, and since we started playing Monopoly, we’ve had this back and forth with a certain drama queen.

“It’s not rigged, honey,” Emma coos, organising the fake money again. Nora peers beside her, looking over at the bank she’s set up and rolls her eyes.

“I think Cat’s cheating,” Mark says.

I gasp. “What!? I’m not even doing anything.”

“That’s the problem,” Connor says beside me, teaming up with his dad. He smiles at me, those brown eyes squinting as his cheeks turn the sweetest shade of pink. “You’re not even paying attention, yet you’re still ahead of us all.”

“Well, I keep getting distracted,” I mutter.

Connor tilts his head innocently. “Hm, by what?”

I’ve hardly been paying attention because all I’ve felt since I sat down has been Connor’s huge hand on my thigh. I’m wearing a long, light red dress with a slit along the side, which gives Connor the perfect opportunity to torture me. He’s had his hand there all night, silently squeezing, teasing me by dragging his hand higher up and then back down again. I’m not wearing anything under this dress and I’m terrified for when he figures that out.

I pretend to fiddle with my property piece in front of me. “Maybe I’ve just outsmarted you all,” I say coyly.

They all laugh and the game moves on around us. Connor squeezes my thigh again, not looking at me as he rubs his thumb up and down. If someone sees what he’s doing he’s going to get us both in big trouble.

“If Ryan was here, he definitely would’ve outsmarted you too, Cat,” Nora mentions, smiling at the thought of her boyfriend. Connor’s hand flexes on my thigh.

“Is that right?” I muse and she nods, sticking her tongue in her cheek.

“Yeah, how is Ry-Ry?” Emma asks, nudging Nora in the shoulder. “I’m surprised that was his first cameo of the night. How are things with you two?”

“Things are good. He’s just… busy,” she mumbles. We all narrow our eyes at her, but she doesn’t seem to notice, or care. They’ve kept their relationship private from us and we never question it. He’s good to her… Most of the time. And she’s probably the best girlfriend he will ever have.

“Right. So he’s ‘busy,’” Mark says with air quotes, rolling his eyes as he turns his attention to Connor. “If you need me to beat someone up, Nor, I’ll do it.”

“Mark,” Emma chides.

“You don’t need to do that, dad,” Nora murmurs, shaking her head.

“I’ll do it, Nor-Nor, and you know I will. No one messes with my little girl,” he mutters before painting on a smile. “What about you, Con? Are you dating anyone? How’d things go with the girl you asked me for advice on?”

I actually choke this time, spluttering like a complete fool. All the Bailey’s look at me like I’m crazy and I pull up a glass of water to my lips, trying to sip discreetly. “Sorry,” I mutter, turning to Connor. “You asked your dad for advice on a girl? How sweet.”

“She must be pretty special if you asked for his advice,” Emma mutters and Nora snorts.

Connor’s eyes hood as he tilts his head at me. “Yeah,” he drawls, his hand moving further up my thigh. My whole body comes alive from his touch as his hand reaches the apex of my thighs where I’m aching for him. “She’s pretty fucking perfect.”

He doesn’t stop the movement of his hands even when I squeeze my thighs together. My arousal is completely covering his hand now and I swear I almost moan just from the slight friction.

“As sweet as that was, no swearing at the dinner table,” Emma responds, narrowing her eyes at him. He nods obediently as if he isn’t two minutes away from finger-fucking me under the table.

I push out my chair so abruptly that everyone on the table turns to me. I smooth out my dress as Connor rests both of his hands in his lap. I clear my throat. “I’m going to get a drink. Does anyone want one?”

Emma frowns. “We have drinks here, sweetie. I can get you one from the cooler.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just really craving… tap… water.”

I turn around before I can completely register the confusion on their faces and hightail it to the kitchen. My entire body feels like it’s on fire and it needs to be dunked in an ice bath.

Just from the light touches he’s given me over the past two days, the desire in my lower stomach has just been growing. I feel like I’m hungry for him.

I’m a simple girl. I’ve always enjoyed sex. But there’s something about the sheer thought of sleeping with Connor that turns me inside out.

He’s got this kind, gentle and caring nature on the outside, but from the way he’s spoken to me with his face between my legs and when I was on my knees for him, I know there’s another side to him that I’m dying to discover.

I should have known the second I got up from the table that he would follow me. Still, I can’t hide the shudder that runs through me when he sneaks up behind me, wraps his arms around my waist and starts kissing me along my neck.

I melt into him instantly, my ass nestling into his lap as he keeps himself pressed to me without saying anything. “Connor.”

“Hm?” he asks into my skin, softly biting my neck as I swallow back a moan.

“Your sister and your parents are in the other room,” I say, trying to give myself some reason to stop. His fingers dance across my stomach. He touches my body like he just knows what to do with me.

“My parents don’t care. And for Nora, she’s too caught up in her own shit to notice,” he replies easily, still kissing me along my neck. My head lolls back as he presses himself into me and I can feel his hard erection against my ass. “You want me to make you feel good, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I breathe out.

“Then let me.” He spins me around, pinning me to the counter with his hips as I look up at him. He wets his bottom lip, but he doesn’t kiss me. “Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to say I feel sick from dinner and I’m going to go to my room to lay down. You’re going to play two rounds of Uno with everybody and by the time they want to move on to charades, you say you’re heading up to your room. I’ll wait for you. Don’t change. Don’t do anything to your hair. You’re perfect just like this.”

His rough words light me up inside. I pull on the hem of his shirt, pulling him down to kiss him hard. He stumbles a little at the force before smiling back into the kiss. “Okay,” I murmur.

“Okay.”

After doing exactly what Connor told me, I stand next to the huge window at the other end of the guest room, looking out at the night sky and the frosted window, the pale moonlight shining through the transparent curtain.

I hear the door click open and then shut again, a lock turning. I freeze in place. I never wanted someone as much as I want him. Never craved anyone as much as I do him, and the slow taunt of his footsteps make this process that much more gruelling.

I hear the shuddery breath he takes when he’s behind me and he pushes my curls over my right shoulder. I turn to him slightly, but my eyes close the second his mouth makes contact with my neck, setting me on fire.

I feel beautiful. Luminescent.

He brings his mouth to the shell of my ear, his other hand playing with the strap of my dress. “Take off your dress for me, Catherine. I want to see you. All of you.”