This might be the last chapter of The Winter I post this year, so if it is, I wish you all a happy Yule/Christmas/Hogmany and any other seasonal holiday you might be celebrating this month ð (do tell, I love to find out what else is celebrated in the world)
I'm hoping to post the first rewritten chapter of Way of the Woad before the end of the year too, so make sure to add that to your libraries!
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Did anyone else sense this disagreement brewing between Hati and Eabha in previous chapters? ð¬ð
Chapter 7
Grief worked miracles. Or alcohol did.
Those were the only explanations I could come up with for seeing both Astrid and Ingrid sitting together. Astrid had come for me of course, but I'd been surprised when she'd agreed to sit with us.
Their eyes had clashed and something unspoken passed between the two females. Linnea and I watched like hawks, so did a few wolves lingering around us, as the pair came to some sort of understanding. Astrid sat at my side, and Ingrid quickly popped another berry in her mouth. She chewed like her life depended on it when a stir went around us. Let them talk. It would be talk of potential new friendships at least.
I smiled and leaned back, happy with an evenings work. Maybe I could get rid of the factions in the pack.
Tonight, they were blurred but still there. Wolves mixed freely, yet it was impossible to miss a few groups huddled together. Groups made up of only family, or of only one species. However, those making the most of the night were less concerned about such divides.
Music flowed around us as merrily and overflowing as the drink did; passing hands and voices, dancers swinging themselves into abandoned seats to be replaced by couples who'd yet had the chance. Even the stoic female warriors who'd travelled from far east had taken a turn to show us the dances of their homeland; their movements twisting and graceful, wrists snapping and fingers flicking above their heads with a precision I could never hope to emulate.
The music itself was a mash of tunes I recognised and didn't, played on familiar instruments, and ones I'd never seen before, but thrummed through my veins all the same. Whistles and small stringed instruments that twanged in buzzing long notes above the steady drum beats.
It was a glimpse of what could be.
A celebration of more than just Bruadar, but the pack itself. In one room were wolves from every corner of the known world, wolves who worshipped different gods and spoke in different tongues. A haven for all, because we all wanted the same thing in truth. Safety. A home. A place to raise young, and die a ripe old age surrounded by family and friends.
I knew in that moment I could never leave. No matter how loud I heard the call of the wild, this might end up the place I wanted to stay, even if others didn't wish me to.
"Always so melancholy." Astrid reached across to refill the mug in my hand, sweet liquid sloshing around the brim.
"Not melancholy," I replied, twisting on the bench to give her a wistful smile. "Hopeful."
She paused at that, arching a blonde brow. "Death has made you. . .hopeful?"
I cringed and shook my head, regretting my word choice. Contradictions. That was another thing this night was full of. How many others were struggling between enjoying the night and remembering why we were here?
"Hati was worried there would be violence, that the pack would turn on itself, but it hasn't. There's upset, of course, and grief, suspicion even - by the end of the night there might even be a few drunken brawls - but nobody is going for throats. Nobody is shouting accusations. They trust that the killer will be found and brought to justice. Hati needs to have more faith in how much the pack believes in him." My hand fell beneath the table to knock thrice on wood as I spoke, just in case, but the atmosphere gave no sign of snapping.
Astrid hummed, looking around the pack much as I had been. She smiled as she saw her mate dancing with a young male who laughed in delight at how vigorously Farrin spun him around. It seemed less a dance and more a competition of who could whirl their partner off their feet.
"Someone is going to get injured," Ingrid noted, looking down her nose at what I had no doubt she considered unseemly.
Linnea sighed from her place as buffer between Ingrid and Astrid, her chin propped on her hand. "Bruadar would have enjoyed it. He would have made us all dance."
Astrid's gaze met mine, and I wondered if the glint in hers was the same idea as mine. She turned to Ingrid with a smirk that held a dare. "Come dance with us, Lady Ingrid, Linnea. I bet you will enjoy it."
Ingrid laughed, but on noting it was a serious offer, it turned to a scoff. Her chin jut out as she pierced Astrid with those stormy seagreen eyes. "One in my position does not offer a male the opportunity to throw them around a room for all to see. No, I think not."
I stood and grinned. "I am not a male, and I doubt I have the strength to throw you off your feet." Holding my hand out, I wiggled my fingers. "One dance, and if you really don't like it, I won't make you continue."
Astrid jumped up too, winking at Linnea who appeared quite eager to join us but held back. The poor thing needed a distraction though, and when I diverted my gaze meaningfully from Ingrid to Linnea, she got the message. Her eyes became resigned, but she couldn't hide the curiosity either. And she would do this for her friend who had looked on the verge of tears or panic all night.
"Very well," she conceded, rising as gracefully as ever.
I doubted she'd be able to let go enough to enjoy it, but gods, it would have tongues wagging for weeks after and it would be a sight to see her even try.
Linnea snatched Astrid's hand, fighting a smile as she dragged her to join a group of dancers. Ingrid was less eager, walking slowly by my side.
"If you wish, you may threaten my life or limb first?" I offered.
Ingrid pursed her lips and peered down at me with a near shimmer of amusement. "No, that's quite alright."
She flicked braided auburn hair over her shoulder and grabbed my hand, fortifying herself before marching with determination to join Astrid and Linnea. Onlookers gaped like fish at first, but a sharp growl from Ingrid set their eyes darting away. I laughed as I positioned her across from me, more so when her eyes grew ever wider the more steps Astrid instructed her and Linnea of.
"This is going to be a disaster," she whispered to me.
"When are these things ever not?" I asked. "Every pack back home says they know the same dance, but every pack has their own variation of steps so someone always ends up tripping at some point."
But that was half the fun.
And begrudgingly, Ingrid did enjoy herself. She took part begrudgingly in the beginning, but as the music grew faster and faster, and the steps wilder and wilder, even she wasn't immune to the contagious energy. She was being spun around so much, she didn't have time to think about what she looked like or what anyone said. Her laughter joined ours as partners were swapped without warning. One second my hand was in Ingrid's and the next it had been swept up by another. I was ready to snap at the male who'd cut in, but when I glanced up, I was met with a familiar grin.
Hati had finally managed to pull himself away from the pack to come find me, and he had no intention of being inconspicuous either. The warmth of his hand lingered low on my hip, too low to be friendly, and too brazen to go unnoticed.
"Well done," he praised, nodding towards Ingrid and her new partner. "I've never seen her laugh like that before. Nor do I ever think I've seen her dance and enjoy herself before. Gerlac nearly choked when he saw, he can't keep a close eye on her if she's skipping around."
Gerlac's nervousness was understood though. Every parent must have had that niggling fear in the back of their mind now that another had lost their pup. All it took was a second. . .
"Its maybe the wrong night for my attempt to loosen her up around the wilder wolves," I admitted.
Hati chuckled, turning me just in time to see Caldar swatting the back of a young male's head. Keeping the youth in line as usual. Could the male not take one night off? But no, it was more than that. Had Caldar just disciplined a male for eyeing Ingrid in a way he didn't like? I couldn't be sure but I was definitely curious. Caldar himself looked as shocked as I felt when he realised what he'd done. He shook his head and straightened up, all but snarling as he stomped his way back into the crowd.
Maybe I wasn't the only one who'd had too much to drink, but then again, I didn't see Caldar as the drinking type.
I turned back to enjoy the few uninterrupted moments I could steal with my soon-to-be mate, and hoped everyone was merry enough to overlook us dancing a little slower than the music demanded.
"You've been talking to everyone?" I asked, sobering up remarkably quickly. While I'd been enjoying myself, Hati had a job to do. As I soon would. As Mother had warned me, this might be my last chance of revelry for a while.
Hati growled and hoisted me closer than was probably appropriate, would have pulled me flush against him if I didn't slam my hands against his chest to stop him. His honey scent wrapped around me and our surroundings faded away.
"I don't want to be Alpha for a little while," he complained on a low purr. "Let me dance with you, and maybe drink a little. Then you can drag me to our den, take off the dress you claim to hate, and have your way with me." He lifted a hand to brush against the torc around my neck, his familiar half-smile tilting one corner of his lips. "Maybe you can keep this on though. It does look beautiful on you."
I tried to keep my expression stern, but his words had lit a fire in my belly, and a smile wanted to betray me. "You sound as if you have indulged in drink already, Alpha. And I thank you for your gift, but you should know I don't need jewels and gold, nor can I repay it with the same."
"I would treasure any gift you thought to give me, even if it was only a moment of your time." His charming, if drunken grin, was disarming.
Who was I to scold him when my own skin was warm and flushed from alcohol pumping through my veins? The wine Ingrid favoured was far stronger than any ale I'd had before, and the sweet flavour still lingered thick on my tongue. I wondered, if Hati were to kiss me, would he taste it?
It was as if he could see the thought in my eyes. His smile grew wicked, and I allowed him to pull me back amongst the dancers without complaint. I was more aware of the stares and whispers however, and during one twirl Hati insisted on, I caught a flash of hurt on Ingrid's face as she witnessed how close Hati and I were. When I spun again, it was to see her fleeing the hall with Linnea quickly following.
There wasn't time for me to go after her. A howl from the back of the hall cut off the music, and everyone spun to see Cerri stepping up onto the dais.
She didn't say anything, but her eyes roved over the faces staring up at her with a fiery intensity that said more than words could. I stiffened when they fell on me, forgetting all about Ingrid as I expected the griefstricken female to start ranting and raving, or pointing her finger for the pack to turn on me. Instead I saw a glimmer of apology. The pleading desperation was still there though and even with the space of the half the hall between us, I heard what she silently begged. For me to try and reach Bruadar. Just once.
I owed her that much, did I not? To at least try.
Maybe it was the alcohol hindering my judgement - for I knew well enough Hati would warn me once more against promising the grieving female anything - but somehow I felt my hair tickle my neck as I nodded once. Cerri didn't smile, or look at all relieved, but she gave a near imperceptible bow of her head, and that alone made me stand taller.
"You shouldn't have done that," Hati bit off, his gaze boring into the side of my face.
At that moment, I was too cowardly to challenge his authority head on. He grunted, and somehow I knew that though he wouldn't make a scene in front of so many, this wasn't the end of it. That was fine. Nothing he could say or do would make me change my mind. . .I hoped.
Luckily for me, his attention moved on when Cerri lifted her head and gave Bruadar his last goodbye in a language that every skin shifter the world over understood. Her howl held an eerie breathy quality, but that didn't detract from the strength of it. Long and loud it rang out, heard first and foremost even when others took up the call.
Hati and I joined our own voices at the same time. His familiar deep timbre beat against me, and an involuntary shudder went up my spine. Even from outside, wolfsong echoed until the chorus of sound created a thrum in the air.
It had been an exhilarating experience howling as a pack when it was only my family; this was something else entirely, as if the joining of so many wolves had a magic of its own connecting each and every one of us. And that's when I remembered what Hati had said what felt like so many months ago. He'd spoken of being connected to the pack, had he meant it literally? I could believe it. The vibrating thread extending to those around me, binding us all as pack, was undeniable. In a way, it might have been as strong as bonds of blood.
Hati and I had shared blood when I'd joined the council. Is that why I felt it? Had the act been more than simply symbolic?
There was definitely magic in the air. It zapped across my skin in a torrent so strong it made me sway on my feet. My eyes flew to Hati, and he met my gaze with eyes of molten gold and shades of flickering orange shining brighter than I'd ever seen them.
Entranced, I stared with baited breath until the light faded as wolves ran out of breath. Melancholy silence slowly descended once more.
"What was that?" I breathed, my voice shaking. "Your eyes. . ."
"And yours," he replied, cocking his head curiously. So maybe it wasn't because we'd shared blood. We'd already established I could sense and react to things I shouldn't be able to.
Around us, the pack began to disperse. Cerri disappeared with her mate, both with drawn expressions and exhaustion hunching their frames. Their exit brought the night to its end. Food was picked apart, last drinks tossed back, and drunken wolves helped each other to their dens to sleep the night off.
The celebrations were over.
And so was my reprieve from punishment.
Hand on my arm, Hati's grip was gentle but firm as he guided me straight to his den at a steady pace in full view of whoever still lingered awake. A few wolves smirked as we passed by. Maybe they the mistook the heated look in Hati's gaze as something romantic, and not die the look of an Alpha preparing to put a wayward pack member on their place.