Chapter 61: CH 32.2

If she didn’t hold onto him now, she would hear those voices and distance herself from him completely. Even though they would get divorced in eight months, she didn’t want to do nothing.

‘I don’t know.’

Because, in Grace’s mind, Benjamin ultimately loves Aria.

Grace dies because of Benjamin. Grace is an incompetent, ugly Duchess who receives no one’s love.

‘That’s what I saw in the book. But it’s different now.’

To be more precise, the events that Grace was experiencing one by one were different.

‘There might be something that can change within eight months. Or maybe I don’t need a change, maybe I just need to know.’

For example, during the mask festival, Benjamin originally proposed to go together with the real Grace, but she refused and so he went with Aria instead.

When the Gate Tragedy occurred, Grace couldn’t comfort Benjamin.

‘I can’t just avoid or distance myself now and wait for the divorce. I have to understand everything about Benjamin and the people around him in these eight months.’

Amidst the blurry and fragmented memories, during the long time Grace was trapped in this mansion, there might be a reason why she died and a reason why Benjamin and Grace ended up like this.

‘All of this is about human relationships. Regardless, I am Grace now.’

“….Sigh.”

Grace pressed her head firmly with both hands.

‘I want to run away.’

Perhaps the original Grace felt this way her whole life. She deeply understood Grace within herself.

But she can’t do that anymore.

Grace whispered to herself.

‘I want to run away because I want to live.’

‘I have to talk about it now.’

Grace put her hands down, stood firm on her feet, and waited for Benjamin to come in.

He entered and smiled at Grace.

“Why are you standing instead of lying down?”

“…How can I lie down when a guest has arrived?”

“We’re still a couple, My Lady.”

Benjamin smiled wistfully as he looked at Grace’s empty bed. With a somewhat familiar gesture, he straightened the bedspread and gestured with one hand as if telling Grace to get inside the covers.

After hesitating, Grace lay down on the bed as Benjamin covered her with the blanket.

Benjamin looked around for a suitable chair to sit on. There was a round wooden chair that Sally had brought for Grace’s care.

“Fortunately.”

Benjamin tried to smile casually, but it was awkward. He had just referred to Grace as a “Couple,” but they had rarely shared a room at night.

As Benjamin fidgeted with his clasped hands, trying to find the right words, he noticed a partially open drawer and spotted the stack of unused medicine envelopes that Grace had piled up.

“….”

However, he pretended not to notice and spoke to Grace.

“Friendship is just a word. It means being able to meet regardless of family or each other’s positions.”

“…Yes?”

“That’s what we were talking about earlier.”

Grace finally recalled the conversation she had with Benjamin through the window and responded softly with an “Ah.”

“In that sense, the saintess and I are not yet friends, unfortunately. If that were the case, I would definitely introduce her to My Lady.”

“…So you genuinely want to be friends?”

The original Benjamin also answered Aria, who was wary of him, that he simply wanted to be on friendly terms. But at the same time, he kept his true intentions a secret.

‘…Was it really just because you genuinely wanted to be friends?’

It was a rather ambiguous and suspicious statement, giving the impression that there were hidden motives. Only previous Grace could argue that Benjamin, in the original novel, was a married man, so it must have been a statement without hidden motives.

“I was injured in an accident when I was young.”

“…Injured?”

“It wasn’t a high fever like the one you’re suffering from now, My Lady. I miraculously recovered. As a result, the previous duke and duchess became devout believers.”

As the story about Benjamin’s past, which was not covered in the novel, came up, Grace stared at him intently.

Benjamin smiled slightly bitterly.

“And the previous duke believes that it was all a miracle from God.”

“What about Your Highness?”

“When humans encounter something beyond their control, they eventually seek God.”

Benjamin spoke as he lowered the bedside lamp next to Grace’s bed.

“Do you believe in God, My Lady?”

“Um…”

In response to Benjamin’s question about belief in God, Grace stared blankly at the ceiling.

“I didn’t think I believed, but it seems like when it feels like the end, I end up seeking Him.”

When she feels like she’s going to die or when she’s really struggling and doesn’t know who to turn to, she ends up seeking God.

Grace remembered those days.

Lying on the bed, her body heavy like soaked cotton, Grace slowly started to feel drowsy, her eyes closing and opening lazily.