20. NO FORGIVENESS

ACT FOUR

" METANOIA, the journey of changing

one's mind, heart, self, or way of life."

ACT FOUR SCENE ONE

NO FORGIVENESS

sahar glacé

PERSPECTIVE

THE AGONISING FEELING of guilt fills my mind. There were several ways I could've dealt with yesterday's situation. Instead of watching Asher shiver under the shallow rain and leaving him be, I could've been a better person. It was clear he wanted to talk, I know what I did was wrong. But I couldn't help it. I always overthink.

I overthink the littlest things.

My mind can turn a small matter into a humongous issue.

And that's my fatal flaw.

"And so he was telling me..." I drain out the voices of Normani and Solar. I was in my own world, constantly thinking about situations I could've avoided. Mistakes I've made years ago, there was definitely something wrong with my mind.

I open my bag, looking through all the files for my next class until Solar calls out my name. "Sahar! I put Jumin's document in your bag," she says. The moment those words left her mouth, my heart spiked. No. Why would she do that? She knew my bag was faulty. The zip always messed up, sometimes I would walk around with my bag open without realising.

"Why would you do that!" I exclaim, panicking.

"We were supposed to read it later on, so I assumed the safest place it could be was in your bag." Solar responds, shrugging her shoulders carelessly. I gulp, safest place? How could it be the safest place when she knows my bag is faulty?

I sigh. It was either sabotage or Solar being forgetful.

But that didn't matter now. What mattered was the document. It has to be in my bag. I scrummage through the several files, hopelessly wondering where the document could be. And much to my misfortune, it wasn't there.

"Sahar." his raspy voice enters my mind. Asher. He wanted to talk to me. I even saw him walk after me with something in his hand. How could I be so stupid? He must have the document with him, he must think I'm betraying him! When really and truly I have nothing against them anymore. I've heard and seen everything. They're simply misjudged.

"I've got to go, I'll see you guys after." I rush out of the empty classroom. I needed to find Asher. And there's only one place he would sit in whenever he's feeling any kind of emotion and that's the infamous cafe he always seems to find willingly. I walk out of the school hastily, in search of the platinum blonde. But before I could walk any further I notice Helius, the so-called golden boy of Devon Academy.

I face palm, if Asher knows I was carrying evidence against one billionaire bad boy club member, the others must be aware too. It truly does hurt, thinking someone like Helius would view me in such a way. I ignore him, walking further to find Asher.

"Sahar!" I stop in my tracks.

"I can't talk right now Helius, I need to do something important, perhaps later?" I quickly say, walking faster. But he grabs my wrist, preventing me from leaving.

"But I want to talk now." he says, his observant eyes glancing at my face. I shiver, he sounded different, no longer filled with rays of sunshine but the winter breeze. He must know, Asher probably told him and now he's here to confront me. All of them must know, they'll all ruin me, I'll be nothing once again, my aunt will hate me.

Unknowingly a tear falls from my eye. I wipe it immediately. Helius' breath hitches, he looks at me with pity. Pity. I despised pity, it was the worst emotion any human could ever portray. "You look so miserable, did something happen?"

His words make my heart jolt. He doesn't know?

Asher didn't tell him? Did Asher not expose me? Why?

"Allergies, you know me and my flowers."

"You said this before, and there's still no flowers around us."

"I did?"

"You're a bad liar." Helius says, looking at me with a small ghost of a smile.

"I know." I murmur.

"And that's why we talk."

"What?"

"We're both good at lying, so good that we can tell when the other is lying and I can tell you... you always lie to me and I tend to always find out why." he says, wiping the tears from my face. "You should tell me before you go off to Asher, I'm a better person at handling truths."

I furrow my eyebrows. "How do you know I'm going to him?"

Helius gestured towards the large cafe. "It's quite obvious, it's the only cafe Asher goes to drink his favourite tea."

"You don't want to know Helius, you wouldn't want to ever know," I state, looking up at him. "You tell me you can handle truths but if you could you wouldn't be such a good liar. A good liar can never handle the truth." I mutter, removing his grip.

Helius chuckles. "That's unreasonable."

"No, it's completely logical."

"You missed my point, I can tell when people lie to me and when people tell the truth. So I'm capable of handling any truths... right?" he says, looking at me with an unknown expression.

"This isn't something I can talk about with you, only Asher would understand."

"Only Asher? You're talking about a boy who barely talks to anyone, his closest friend is Luca, someone who also doesn't talk to anyone. How can you talk about anything with him if he doesn't say anything to anyone!" Helius exclaims, his expression was now vague.

"That's why I talk to him."

"What?" Helius furrows his eyebrows.

"Because he doesn't say anything to anyone."

"Oh. But I wouldn't tell anyone." Helius says quietly.

"I know you wouldn't, it's just I don't want to ruin what we have between us, I'll tell you later, I promise." I place my pinkie forward, Helius looks at me with a smile.

He wraps his pinkie around mine. "Let's hope you do that."

"I will. I won't go against my word."

I wave him one last goodbye before walking towards the entrance of the cafe. This was it. The talk with Asher. The guilt from yesterday feels like it's plaguing my mind. I feel miserable for treating him that way. He doesn't deserve it. He never deserved it.

The sound of the cafe bells forces me to straighten my posture. There's no reason to act so suspicious, perhaps Asher doesn't know but there's a large chance he does. I look around for him, only to notice him sitting in his usual spot, with three cups of Luwak coffee in front of him.

As I approach him, I notice all three cups empty.

Something was definitely wrong.

"Asher." I say his name hesitantly.

He clenches his mug tightly, it looked as though the mug was on the verge of breaking. I gulp, he most definitely does not want to see my face and I completely understand why. But before I could go he says one word.

"Sit." his tone was calm yet bitter.

Ignoring his tone, I take a seat in front of him.

"Asher I can explain—"

"You don't have to, your actions certainly speak louder than your words."

"My actions?"

"Sahar, I'm not going to list them for you."

"But I want to know what I did wrong, I want to tell you the reason, if you could let me then—"

"Why do people say that? They always ask someone they've done wrong, what they've done wrong. You should be aware of your actions, like I know when I do something wrong but you... you're expecting me to tell you when your actions are so damn clear." Asher says, his eyes meeting mine. They were swollen, puffy as if he just woke up from crying.

"Yesterday, I ignored you, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking straight."

Asher sniffles. It's as if he has a cold. "It doesn't matter, nothing matters anymore, we're not companions, we're not friends... we're just nothing."

"Asher. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking about a specific document that fell from my folder and you have every right to be mad at me but there's something else to it that I have to tell you." I tell him, but he simply glances at me motionlessly.

"How are you going to justify that Sahar? Tell me, because everything that's going to come out of your mouth won't benefit you but harm you and others around you." Asher's words were laced with the bitter truth I always try to escape. If I tell him that both Solar and Normani are involved, they'll lose everything. That's two people losing their wealth, that's two people's lives ruined.

I could feel my eyes getting watery. "Because, we were companions, we understand each other, I thought you'd see what I see through my perspective."

"We never understood each other Sahar, everything has always been a lie right? You never cared about me, you just wanted your friend back and on top of that, you wanted to ruin five lives with lies you've collected over the past years!" Asher slams his fist on to the table. "You wanted to watch us fall, you wanted me to fall. I actually almost considered you as a friend at one point but you're anything but a friend, you're a lying thieving snake who does anything to reach the top. Are you happy now? You've got me mad? Here's your validation... I don't ever want to see you again, everything about you makes me so mad." his words were brutally laced with pain. He didn't have anything else left in him. He hates me, he hates me to the point he doesn't like the presence of me.

"Asher." I whisper. "Please, please don't do this."

"Do what? Oh. Make you lose everything?" he says venomously, glancing at me with a emotionless gaze.

"Please don't."

"Is that all you care about? That's so low even for you Sahar. You don't care about losing me as a person but the idea of losing your luxury life. You're making me realise why I never should've spoken to you."

"It's not about me Asher I swear, it's my aunt—"

"How is your aunt involved in this? Only you and your mother will be affected. She'd hate you after realising what you've done, maybe then you'll realise how it feels to truly lose someone's trust." his words make my heart ache. He doesn't know my mother is dead. I could feel the tears falling, I couldn't help it, the idea of my aunt losing her wealth will shatter her. She'd hate me more than ever.

"Please Asher."

"I don't care." he makes his way out of the cafe.

I walk after him, almost falling because of my heels. He continues to walk out into the cold rain, it was pouring heavily. I shiver feeling the hard raindrops hit my body. "Asher, please don't go, let me explain myself!" I pull his arm gently.

Asher removes my grip, pushing me away from him. "Why don't you understand? No means no, please leave me alone Sahar... by tomorrow you'll be gone far away from me."

I can't tell him about Normani and Solar. I can't tell him about my aunt pretending to be my mother. I can't tell him the truth. And now he's going to kick me out of Devon Academy, get rid of my aunts wealth — forcing us to live the life we lived before. The one that caused my mother's death.

"Asher you can do anything you want to me, ruin my name, ruin my life but please don't do anything to my mother, I'll move out somewhere with my own money, just don't ruin her well deserved life because of me." I tell him, ready for any consequence. I deserve it. I deserve it for snooping in other people's business. A person shouldn't wish revenge upon another person. A person shouldn't lie and befriend someone who they have bad intentions for.

Asher stops. "Anything?"

"Anything."

"Confess to the whole school tomorrow about what you did and never talk to me or the other billionaire bad boys club members ever again. Leave the school too and move towns, so we never meet again."

y'all a few CHAPTERS LEFT I- anyways. poor sahar. Asher misunderstood the situation. do you think solar and normani are true friends?

and we've reached 69k!!! thank you so much :)