ten

Maybe he'll change his mind after this game, I thought to myself.

I went through the things in my closet, trying to find something to wear. It was the last game of the season, so it had to be at least a bit special.

My eyes find the unworn jersey in the corner of my closet. Hayden's jersey. I put it on with some jeans and headed out of my room. Maybe he'll stay.

I walk downstairs to see Ian shovelling food into his mouth; he would need energy for his game.

I slid over to him, "Good luck on your game."

"Thanks," He smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes the way it usually does.

"You okay?" I asked, concerned.

"Just nervous." He brushes it off with an excuse, but I knew better. He was definitely upset about something.

I turned around to check the calendar; I still had a few more practices even though my brother's sport was basically done.

He gets up, cleans, and grabs his bag. "Is that Hayden's?"

"No, it's Mac's," I responded, making him laugh.

"Whatever. Let's go." He shakes his head, smiling.

~~~

The game was not going well. Finn was getting too many pucks to the head, Hayden was benched, and Ian wasn't skating fast enough. Everything was off.

I sigh, sitting back in my seat as Hayden gets subbed on. Hopefully he can turn things around. The tension and pressure were too much.

Ian skates speeds through two players and then bumps into another, causing them both to lose balance and fall.

I stood up, checking to see if he was okay.

My jaw drops as he skates to the penalty box, sitting there. My brother? A penalty? Never.

He never played aggressively; that was Hayden's job.

I watch the game closely. That penalty definitely triggered Hayden; he was skating around the opposing team fast.

He spins and shoots at the net, scoring a goal and causing the goalie to fall.

I stand up, cheering and smiling. I couldn't help but wonder what was going on with Ian; he usually tells me everything.

He skates back onto the rink, highfiving Hayden.

Hayden high-fives his teammates and brings his team badge to his mouth; he couldn't kiss the logo, but he was showing his dedication to the team. It was cute.

I look at the scoreboard; only two more points and they'll be ahead. Hayden really did turn the game around.

Dylan and Finn pass the puck back and forth, keeping it from the other team. I could imagine their giggles and smiles. Somehow, all the tension from the game had melted away, and it was like they were having fun again. The way games were when we were all younger.

The duo finally passes it to another teammate. Blake skates and scores from the middle of the rink.

I cheer from the bleachers. That was a great shot.

It was the last few minutes of the game, and it was tied.

Ian moves swiftly past the player he knocked down earlier. The player tries to trip Ian but fails. How is that even allowed?

That trick didn't phase Ian as he passed the puck to Hayden, prompting him to score the winning goal, but to his surprise, Hayden hit it back to Ian.

That split second of confusion allowed the other team to gain control of the puck, but not for long. Hayden steals it again and passes it to Ian.

I watch as he takes a deep breath—he had time; no one was on him—and aims and hits the puck into the goal.

"Go Ian!" I yelled even though the chances of him hearing me were low.

He skates around in celebration, hugs Hayden, and kisses the badge the way Hayden did.

The opposing team passed around the puck but didn't get around to scoring. The buzzer went off before they could even get close to the net.

I smile and watch as the boys' team skates together in celebration and hugs.

~~~

Ian leads us all to the basement, holding the three pizza boxes in his hands. A win like this called for celebration. They won the finals.

I sink into the couch in between Blake and Hayden, eyes focused on the hockey game. It was a coincidence that their favourite team was playing today, right after they just did.

I thought about how the boys wanted to play for this team and realised that that was Hayden's last game. He won it, but I don't think that'll be enough for him to stay.

I couldn't help but hold onto that tiny sliver of hope that he'd stay. This was his home, not Chicago.

I glanced at him, taking in all his features. When was he going to tell everyone? Was he just going to leave without saying goodbye?

The boys laugh as Dylan does weird stretches, "C'mon guys, I'm sore."

The other boys follow, stretching.

"Truth or stretch?" Dylan grins.

I laughed; that was kind of creative.

"What, Annalisa? We've been playing this since we were children."

I roll my eyes at the nickname, "Of course you did."

Hayden steps into the circle, and the other boys make ooh noises. I'm guessing he doesn't do this often.

I watched them from the couch, sitting on it the wrong way so I could see them.

"I'm joining the Frosthawks." He says and starts stretching his arms over his head.

"Yeah. Me too." Finn snickers, and so do the others.

Ian stays quiet and then finally speaks, "Guys, I think he's serious."

The boys start asking Hayden and making noise. I gulp. That was it. He was going to join the Frosthawks. I guess kissing the badge doesn't mean anything anymore.

"When?" I ask, my emotions pouring into my voice. I didn't want to cry.

"Tonight." He avoids eye contact with everyone.

"What?!" Finn, Blake, and Dylan yell in unison.

The whole room goes silent. All of our sadness is combining.

"Okay guys, let's go." Ian pulls his keys out of his pocket.

We all follow him up the stairs; I stay at the back to turn off the lights and the TV. The game wasn't so important anymore.

~~~

The car ride was silent as Ian dropped everyone off except for Hayden.

I lean my head against the window and look out as we go to the airport. I wish we had more time; we just resolved our conflicts.

My lips turn downwards, and tears pool in my eyes, making the lights blurry.

I sniff and wipe them away. Ian looks at me in the mirror, giving me a reassuring look. Hayden tries to, but I look away and cross my arms.

When we finally reach the airport, I hesitantly step out of the car, staying close to Ian. It was getting dark.

"You're not mad?" Hayden asks Ian.

"I couldn't be mad at my best friend for following his dreams," Ian says and gives him a hug.

"Jules," Hayden looks at me after letting go of my brother.

I just stand there, looking at him. "You're a jerk."

My lip started quivering, and tears rolled down my cheeks.

He walks over to me, towering over me as I look up. He tries to hold my hands, but I move mine away. His hands were freezing. "I'm sorry." He whispers as I step away from him, not letting him give me the hug we both wanted.

"I'm sorry," He whispers, putting his hand over his heart then turning it into a fist.

He didn't mean it. He was as cold as his hand. He was ice cold.