Chapter 20: Fear Itself

EVE

“We’ll split up into groups of two,” I said as I paced along the edge of the woods bordering the pack house.

“These days, we have no idea what’s out there, so everyone be on high alert,” Raphael added.

Killian, Jed, Reyna, her friend Derek, Anya, and Martin had all come to help.

Despite how much everyone had been through, no one hesitated to form a search party when they’d been alerted that Snow was missing.

The nearby woods were the obvious choice, but they were massive. We’d need everyone we could get to comb through them.

Raphael sent the rest of the Millennium Wolves to search the other surrounding areas.

As I stared into the woods, my worst fears started creeping into my head.

Snow was a fucking beacon for Hazed monsters. Anything could be hunting her.

And if anything happened to her…

It would be because of me. I was the one who had driven her away.

Raphael put his arm around my shoulder, trying to comfort me. “We’ll find her,” he said with assurance. “She can’t have gone far.”

I took a deep breath, pulled it together, and resumed command mode.

“Killian and Jed, you take the eastern part of the woods. Reyna and Derek, you go west.”

I clocked Jed and Reyna avoiding eye contact with each other. I couldn’t keep up with these kids, but whatever was going on, they’d have to put it aside for tonight.

“Martin and Anya, you stay here in case Snow comes back. Me and Raphael will take the center.”

Everyone nodded and paired up, entering into the dark woods together…

As soon as I set foot into the forest, I started to feel uneasy.

Not just because Snow was missing, but because I was beginning to feel every fear and insecurity that I’d been bottling up.

Raphael looked at me, concerned. “Are you feeling okay? You look more pale than usual.”

My whole body felt clammy.

My eyes darted around the woods anxiously.

The hairs on the back of my neck were standing up.

Fear was normally a foreign word to me…

So why was I ~terrified~ right now?

~You’re a shit excuse for a mother,~ whispered a voice in my ear.

~You’re a cold, unfeeling cunt.~

~You only care about yourself—the rest of the world be damned.~

I felt like I was going crazy. What was this voice? Was it just me? Raphael didn’t seem to be hearing anything.

I began to get so frightened that I started shaking.

I was scared that what the voice was saying was true.

REYNA

“These woods give me the creeps,” I said, shivering and leaning into Derek.

It had only been hours since we’d faced a threat together, and now here we were again, heading into the unknown.

“I’m glad you asked me to come,” he said, putting his arm around me. “I wouldn’t want you out here alone.”

~More like he wouldn’t want you out here with Jed,~ a voice whispered in the wind.

“What?” I asked, turning to him. He looked at me strangely.

“I said I wouldn’t want you out here alone. After what happened earlier.”

I nodded, furrowing my brow.

Was I just hearing things?

~Why haven’t you fucked him yet? What are you waiting for?~

I whipped around, but there was no one there. ~You don’t think he’s the one. You like someone else.~

~Why haven’t you fucked him?~

~WHY HAVEN’T YOU FUCKED HIM, REYNA?~

“Stop it! Shut up! Shut the hell up!” I shouted, holding my head.

“Reyna, calm down! What’s going on?” Derek said, trying to get through to me, but I pulled away from him.

Suddenly, his eyes started bouncing around the woods. He was hearing a voice too.

Anger clouded his eyes as he looked back at me.

“You don’t even want to be out here with me, do you?” he growled. “You’d rather be paired with Jed.”

“What…what are you talking about?” I asked nervously. “I told you before…me and Jed are just friends.”

“And what are we then?” Derek snapped. “Because I’m not your boyfriend, right? So, what am I to you? Am I just a friend too? You don’t seem interested in having sex with me, so…”

“Derek, stop!” I shouted. “I don’t want to talk about this right now!”

“You never do!” he shouted back. “You always want to avoid tough conversations!”

~It’s because you’re afraid of the truth. Give in to that fear, Reyna,~ the voice whispered again, clouding my mind like a fog.

“No, no, no,” I said, dropping to my knees. “What’s happening to me?”

I’d never been this scared in my life. I just wanted to curl up into the fetal position and close my eyes.

I looked over at Derek, who was crouched down, hugging a tree and hitting his head against it over and over.

“Derek! Please, stop!” I screamed. He didn’t listen. He just kept hitting his head against the rough bark.

We were completely losing it, devolving into fearful messes.

And I didn’t know if we could find our way back…

JED

Killian paused in the middle of the dirt trail and held up his hand for me to stop.

“There’s something out here,” he said, his eyes shining. He was using his vampiric powers.

“I don’t scent anyone outside of our group,” I said, sniffing the air.

“I don’t think it’s something that can be scented,” Killian replied, turning in a circle cautiously.

Now that he mentioned it, I was getting colder and colder by the second, and werewolves rarely got cold.

There was something in the air…a thickness…that made me feel like I was trudging through mud.

Killian closed his eyes and focused. “What are you doing?” I asked.

“Trying to block out whatever this is…” he replied.

~If only you could do that…but you’re useless,~ a voice whispered in my ear.

“Wh-what?” I stumbled backward and tripped over a root. “Who’s there?”

~It’s your deepest, darkest fears, Jed,~ the voice replied gleefully. ~Don’t act like you don’t know us.~

“Stop…stop…” I held my legs and began rocking back and forth.

“Don’t listen to it, Jed! Whatever it’s saying, drown it out!” Killian’s voice sounded distant. He was the one I was drowning out.

~You’ll never be enough. We both know that. You’ll never be more than a Delta. You’ll never be the one anyone wants.~

I shook my head, not wanting to believe it, but deep down, I knew it was true.

~You’ll never be the one SHE wants.~

~Reyna.~

Of course she didn’t want me. Why would she? I’d never be enough for anyone.

“Jed!” Killian’s voice still sounded so far away.

The mangled trees were stretching out their limbs and closing in on me. All I could see was darkness.

“JED!”

Instead of the gnarled branches wrapping around me, it was Killian’s arms. “Jed, snap out of it! You’re okay! It’s going to be okay!”

My eyes clouded with tears as my anxiety receded. Killian had brought me back from a ~dark~ place.

I hoped the others weren’t facing the same…

RAPHAEL

“Eve! Come back to me!” She was descending into madness, and I wasn’t faring much better.

Her wings had sprouted from her back, enveloping her in an impenetrable cocoon. She was completely taken over by the fear.

We’d never find Snow if none of us could fucking function, and I had a feeling that if Eve was broken, everyone else was even worse.

I might’ve been the Alpha of the Millennium, but even I was feeling my shield start to crack.

~You left them both for five hundred years.~

~What kind of a mate are you?~

~What kind of a father are you?~

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” I roared.

As the whispers burrowed into my brain and lodged themselves there, my insecurities began building up.

What if I couldn’t be the man I needed to be for both Eve and Snow?

I had a ~daughter~ now? What did I know of being a father?

My own family history was a fucking mess, and that was putting it mildly. What was to stop history from repeating itself?

And now my mate was completely closed off from me, and I felt powerless to do anything about it.

I felt powerless to do anything for my pack.

I wasn’t an Alpha…

I was a fraud.

“NO!” I shouted, managing to partially shift.

In my shifted state, my senses were heightened, and I could fight this thing better.

“Show yourself, coward!” I snarled.

~Coward?~ The voice repeated, laughing. ~That’s not even possible. I’m fear itself.~

What was this thing talking about? ~Fear itself?~

Suddenly, it hit me. I knew exactly what we were dealing with…

They were rare and usually weren’t so fucking vocal, but a Haze imbalance would be the perfect invitation for one to slither into the open…

I growled under my breath and clenched my claws.

“We’re being stalked by a Fear Creator.”