Breakage

LAKE

The Moon Goddess doesn’t have a physical form. More of a spiritual life force. But all her chosen Alignments are able to conjure her physical form for a short period of time.

“Mother… I grip the skirt of her flowing white dress and wail.”

“My dearest Lake Mavris… She gently smooths my hair out of my face. “I never intended this for you.”

“I—I know…,” I cry. “I’m sorry… for not being strong…”

“My child, but you are strong.” The Moon Goddess lifts my face to look at her. She wipes my tears away and smiles. “You are the strongest child of the moon in such a long time.”

“What did I do wrong, then?” I can’t hold it back anymore. “I was rejected… cursed and made a fool of… Am I not worthy of a mate?”

The Moon Goddess smiles and hugs me to her chest. “Lake, you are worthy of one and so much more. Have patience, and all will be well.”

***

The water is hot on my skin as my mother and Riley place me into the bath. I slouch over and put my head on the side of the porcelain tub.

I sit there quietly as Riley dabs a large sponge on my back and sides.

The stench of my hair and oily skin got to be too much for them to handle. Seeing me like this is more than likely starting to be the new normal.

I say nothing and just stare at a wall or out my window.

“Lake, I need you to lean your head back for me, sweetie.” My mother fills a plastic cup from the kitchen with some bathwater and rolls up her sleeves. “We need to wash your hair. It’s becoming matted…”

Riley slowly pushes me back and supports my head as the water flows through my hair. I can feel the tangles and mats. My long hair, past my midsection, is becoming too hard to manage.

My mother scrubs and scrubs my hair with my rose water mineral shampoo and conditioner. The water fills with bubbles and turns red from the dried blood on my legs.

“Come on, Lake…” Riley pulls the plug in the drain and stands me up.

My vision is blurry and milky as I look over her shoulder and in the mirror. It’s too fogged for me to make anything out of my face or figure.

“Wrap the towel around her, and I’ll get the brush,” my mother instructs Riley before leaving to get her detangling brush from her vanity in the master bath.

“You’re going to be okay…” Riley sits me down on the toilet seat cover and begins to towel dry my hair. “I don’t even know if we can get through these tangles and matting…”

“Sweetie, this may hurt.” My mother pulls the brush through my hair until it stops at my shoulders. With one flick of the wrist, the bristles of the brush break from the handle. “Blast your long hair…”

“Cut it,” I murmur.

“But sweetie, I thought—”

“Cut it or I will!” My growl rattles the perfume bottle sitting on my sink. Riley and my mother look at each other as if not knowing what I just said.

I growl again. It’s enough to snap them out of their trance. Riley brings in scissors, and my mother shakily puts my hair between the blades.

“Lake, are you sure you want to—”

“Do it!”

My mother nods her head sadly and begins cutting. The sound of each snip is music to my ears. I feel over the ends when it’s done.

“Thank you…,” I say coldly. “I’ll be returning back to bed now.” My body moves stiffly and slowly as Riley moves to let me past her.

“Do you need help getting dressed?” she asks. I don’t answer her. Clothes aren’t worth it. They’ll just end up getting torn and bloodied again.

I do, however, slip a pair of boy shorts on before sliding into my clean sheets. Landon must have changed them while I was being bathed.

My father has been away more than usual lately. Landon says there are multiple warrior meetings for the next month, although I’m certain he’s only saying that to save face.

My father returns home late at night.

I can hear the pattern of his footsteps that tell me he’s been drinking. I can also just smell the alcohol while passing their room.

The air in my room has begun to be stuffy and hot. I occasionally wake up with sweat pouring down my back from the humidity.

School was made aware of the situation and has agreed to let me off until graduation if I get homeschooled. I’ve finished all of March’s assignments this week.

“Lake?” Landon knocks on the door. “Are you awake?” My twin enters before I answer. I’m facing him when his eyes land on my shortened hair.

“What can I do for you?” I sit up with the blanket around my chest. I also down a drink of the glass of water with aspirin sitting on my side table. My head and stomach are killing me.

“What happened to your hair?” Landon rushes over after realization hits him and runs his fingers through my wet hair.

“I had Mom cut it off.” I shrug. “No big deal.”

“No big deal? Lake, long hair has always been your way of happiness,” Landon replies harshly. “It meant a lot to you after—”

“Shut it!” I snap. My irritation is growing by the second. Not only have I been forced into a bath today, but now Landon has the audacity to bring up that? “My hair was matted and gross!”

“Oh yeah?” Landon stands and gives me his famous cold shoulder. “Who’s the one who made it that way?”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Landon?” I spring to my feet. I couldn’t care less about my bare chest anymore.

“Do you even comprehend what I have been through? Or were you asleep for the whole shitshow?”

“What about you, Lake?!” My brother is nose to nose with me. I stare straight into his eyes. “What about your family? Or have you forgotten us?”

I can feel my canines extending as I sock my twin right across the face. “How dare you!”

Before Landon can retaliate, Riley is stuffed between us, her eyes firmly planted on me.

“I understand that you’re hurting right now, but—” I can’t hold back my laugh before Riley finishes her sentence.

“You understand?” I wipe a tear away from my eye. “A mated female understands what it’s like to be rejected? Hell, even cursed for a false second chance?!”

“What’s going on up here?” My father appears before us, looking at me as if I were some crazed lunatic. “Where are your clothes, young lady?!”

My laughter continues. “Oh, look! The drunken father finally comes to see his distraught daughter! How wonderful!”

“Listen to me, Lake. I know you’re hurting, but I think it’s best if—” Again, my laughter interrupts another sentence.

I can feel Lynne wanting to be set free. She wants to tear everything in her path to shreds. A hair splinter of my brain wants that as well.

“This is great!” I exclaim. “Wolves who are mated think they know what’s best for me! Tell me father, have you ever felt mother touch another man before? Hmm? Riley? Landon? What about you?”

“That is enough!” my father growls. His authority radiates like static in the air. I stop laughing but refuse to bow to him as my brother and Riley are now.

“Lake Marie Mavris, you are to listen to me this instant!”

“Or what, Daddy?” I smile, and I feel Lynne taking over my vision. “You’ll turn me rogue?”