Decisions

Lake

I hold my hands at my sides in the shape of fists.

Confusion and fear are all that I feel right now.

I love Derrick, I truly do. But I can’t get the murderous look in his eyes and the feeling of his hands around my throat out of my head.

That look of hatred he had for me, and only me, is something I will never be able to forget.

It’s the same rage I saw in the Arena that I’m seeing in Derrick’s eyes now. Even if his anger is directed towards Sylas and what has happened between us, it’s ~me~ he’s looking at right now.

I know that he wants me to cast Sylas aside and reject him, but we have endured so much together to get to this point.

~How could I say goodbye now?~

“You have no idea what we went through trying to save you!” I tell him, “Sylas has been with me every step of the way, because he knows that losing you would hurt me, and all he wants is for me to be happy.”

Derrick scoffs, “You don’t think I don’t want the same thing?”

“Oh, really?” I growl, “Need I remind you that it was ~your~ fault that we entered Evin’s territory in the first place? You were the one talking and pushing the idea about settling down and starting a family?”

“Because that’s what I wanted to do!” Derrick exclaims, his words louder at the end of his sentence, “Any wolf my age would already have—”

“Multiple pups, I know!” Tears of hot anger prick my eyes, “You’d have a territory and a million little pups by now if I was normal! But guess what, you diddle fuck? I’m not!”

~Really, Lake? Diddle fuck?~

“I thought you’d want that, too,” Derrick puts his hands on his hips, his shoulders hunched over in disappointment.

“If you would have just listened to me, you’d know that I’m not ready for that!” I wipe my tears away with my wrist, “I haven’t even begun to explore my Vampyre side yet! I feel like it’s something I need to do in order to be ready for anything that you’ve mentioned! For me to be truly happy!”

Derrick runs his hands through his hair.

I’m breathing heavily from the adrenaline and anxiety rushing through my nerves right now.

This is not how I wanted this conversation to go.

Who am I kidding? This isn’t how I wanted any of this to go, but here we are.

And as much as I hate to admit, I think I know what I have to do.

My mate clears his throat and seems to hold back his tears, “So Firefly, where does this leave us?”

“Sylas offered to bring me to meet the Vampyre queen.” I say, looking Derrick straight in the eye, “He even offered to teach me more about the Vampyre society and that side of me.”

His eyes widen as the muscles in his jaw flex tightly.

“Oh, so now you’re just going to leave me?! Is that right?” He asks, enraged, “You’re not going anywhere without me!”

There’s that look of rage again…

Derrick’s shouting brings Lucy and Sylas running out of the woods and into our eyeline. Coal is slowly limping, but still makes an appearance to the show.

I look angrily at my mate and his audacity from screaming at me like that.

“Don’t cause a scene,” I whisper harshly to him.

“How can you just abandon me like this, Lake?” Derrick growls. He looks like he might pounce on me again. Lucy gets closer and is holding him back at this point, “Right when I need you to help me find this fucking cure?”

Tearfully, I hold my head high as Sylas by my side, “That’s not what I’m trying to do. I want to help you in any way that I possibly can right now.”

“And how—“

“But we also need to warn the Queen and rally forces to go against Evin before he gets the chance to make more Ferals.” I say with the straightest face that I possibly can.

“She’s right—” Sylas cuts in.

“You shut the fuck up!” Derrick tells Sylas, “This is between me and my mate. Firefly, we should stay together. We could go Oliver… Yea! She’s always able to get us out of things like this!”

“No, we can’t, Brother.” Coal interjects, “Her realm is too unstable and is on the verge of collapse. She's out of the equation this time.”

I want to stay and help my mate, but I don’t feel that I would be safe with him. Not right now. Not in his feral state.

Derrick seems to understand this, and he starts to back away, accepting the harsh reality of our situation.

He loves me, and he’d never want to hurt me, even if that means we need to part ways until he is healed.

“I do, however, know of some healers in the mountains of Alaska that can possibly withdraw the serum and your dependence on it.” Coal smiles, but turns grim in this knowledge, “In the complete opposite direction of the Vampyre Queen, I’m afraid.”

The weight of his words caused my heart to sink.

“I’ll come with you,” Coal says. “And when you’re healed, you can be reunited.”

Everyone looks at me. Derrick especially.

As our eyes lock, I feel overwhelming love for him. And overwhelming fear.

Then I turn my head and catch Sylas’ gaze, filled with equal intensity.

~Two mates with two completely different paths for me to follow.~

~How can I possibly choose?~

^End of Book Two^